[I have a lot of emotions about this ship but I definitely prefer the less fluffy/more angsty/serious side of it that is basically their relationship in canon. I tried to capture that sort of atmosphere in this piece, which I may or may not continue. This takes place before the more recent chapters of the manga, where Squad Levi 2.0 is living it up at the cabin. Leave a review and let me know what you think!]

After every mission outside of the walls, the deaths of the Survey Corps soldiers around him struck with the same pain. Given how much of it he saw, he himself couldn't manifest the energy to be more than a walking corpse during the latest hours of the night. As if he were on his deathbed, his eyes would glaze over and he'd allow his cold heart to feel the weight of the havoc he caused. In those early morning hours, unless an emergency chased him out of his misery, he would continue on like so until he passed out. Three hours later, the sun would rise, Levi would wake up, and it would be another day to carry the weight on his shoulders.

The people around him were none the wiser. He cracked inappropriate jokes without laughing, he led his squad without error, and his performance as humanity's most powerful soldier was never questioned. Levi Ackerman was looked up to by a number of people as the steady rock needed in the fight for Wall Maria. It seemed to many that his aloofness was out of disinterest for others or severe introversion, but that wasn't the case. It was true that Levi wasn't scared to start a fight or speak out against the people he didn't like, but to his squad, his fellow squad leaders, and especially to his commander, Levi was a trustworthy soldier.

Especially to Eren, Levi was a trustworthy soldier.

Somehow, it was a relief to Eren to see the Lance Corporal so human, but at the same time he felt concern for the way Levi looked so haunted. Not that Levi would willingly show his vulnerabilities to anybody else- Eren had actually happened across the older man as he was trying to clear his mind from a dream. Why the hell Levi was letting all of the cold air in through the open window was beyond Eren. With logic that could only come from foolish late-night sincerity, he broke the silence and made himself known.

"Captain? Is something out there?" Levi spun around in an instant, the ghost of an injury on his thigh reminding him of what he had once done for the boy's sake. It didn't hurt anymore, but somehow, it was hard to forget.

"No. Go to bed." The difference in character was astonishing. Two seconds ago, anybody would have seen the look of mortality in Levi's eyes, but the moment he knew another person was there, he was back to his standoff-ish self; although Eren trusted his squad leader, he still couldn't help but be intimidated. His steely gray eyes cut into Eren, and suddenly the boy felt like he had intruded on something sacred. Whatever it was, it gave him a bad taste in his mouth.

"Of all people who need sleep, you seem like you need it the most."

Oh shit, had he actually said that? A sudden rush of panic put Eren on edge, but with the lack of response to it, he calmed down and continued cautiously. "What are you doing up this late anyway?"

"You're being annoying. Why aren't you asleep?"

Hadn't I just asked that? Eren thought. "A dream woke me up."

Levi didn't nod or even make any indication that he was going to respond. Eren thought it meant he was supposed to continue. "I don't know what it means, but I keep seeing my dad. It's like he's not even-"

After a moment, he just shook his head. Eren didn't feel the need to say it out loud. Maybe Levi didn't want to hear him at all. Maybe trying to talk to his Captain was a mistake in general. He couldn't describe the feeling that the thought gave him, but it wasn't good. He felt like hiding. What was it, embarrassment? Shyness?

Abruptly, Levi walked to the kitchen and made black tea for the two of them. It was clear to him that the boy wouldn't be out of his hair until he got whatever he needed to out of his system. It wouldn't be their first time being alone for more than two minutes, but that didn't take away the awkwardness or silence. Both seemed rather content not saying anything until Levi returned, tea in both hands, one of the mugs put down on the opposite side of the table. The two sat- quietly at first- until the Captain took a long drink of hot tea.

"Feel lucky you're alive, Yeager. If you were a normal brat, you'd be dead by now." The brash statement took Eren by surprise. He didn't know whether it was a compliment or an insult, but judging his tone, Levi had been thinking for a while. Was that why he looked so horrified? Eren thought. Has he been thinking of death this whole time?

"I'm ready to die if I need to. I was ready to die when Historia was going to eat me." The thought seemed so funny now, but neither of them laughed. Captain Levi had a bit of that look about him again: that look of dread.

"Truth is, Eren, if you died anytime soon, everything would be that much more dull."

It took Levi a moment to realize he had spoken his thoughts out loud instead of keeping them quiet. He tried to make it seem purposeful. "You're the weirdest monster I think I've ever been around. It makes life a little interesting."

Eren chose not to respond to that. It was almost funny. Almost. Instead of laughing, he looked down at the table, feeling unable to keep eye contact during the conversation. Even in other conversations, and actually most days, Eren only let himself look at Levi for extended periods of time if he knew that his Captain was unaware. But the truth was, Levi knew. The man nearly had eyes in the back of his head, who was Eren fooling? A man like Levi Ackerman grew up seeing the world with 360 vision, and even outside of a fight or a mission, there was little escaping his conscious mind.

Then again, no amount of eyes could see the feelings behind those glances. That took a sense that Levi wasn't keen to. In his line of work, though, it couldn't be blamed. Who had time to dissect human feelings when there was too much heartless work to be done? Levi was one to talk about monsters; everybody in his squad had blood on their hands, and it wasn't incorrect to say that Levi had much more than the others. When one was stained like that, who had time for those young feelings?

Well, Eren did. Unfortunately.

It was in those moments of life and death, those crucial key points in his titan training, and the stolen glances that were sometimes returned. Eren couldn't help it. Levi Ackerman saved Eren's life time and time again, almost with more passion and speed than Mikasa. He liked to believe his importance to Levi went beyond his titan form and shallow entertainment, but there was no proof to go on, and no real hope that Eren could see.

Of course he was so preoccupied with thinking of these things at the table that Levi abandoned his seat to look out the window again, taking care not to succumb to the despair he was so buried in earlier. Once noticing this, Eren also stood at the window, rather close to him. He wasn't sure why he felt the need to do so, but surprisingly, Levi didn't comment on it. Eren swallowed his nervousness without much luck. There was no denying that the boy had feelings that added up to more than mere admiration for his squad leader, but he wouldn't be caught dead admitting it, just like Levi wouldn't be caught dead admitting that there was something more than his duty as a Survey Corps soldier that made him want to keep Eren alive. Even now, there was something raising the Captain's spirits, keeping the weight of death behind him. Could it have been Eren? Was Levi right in assuming for a moment that being around the boy was a good change from his usual nights?

Even with so much thought going on, it was a stalemate. The two had nowhere to go with their feelings; Eren, being embarrassed, and Levi, not even knowing for sure where he stood, were quiet as ever as they gazed out the window. It would have seemed peaceful to any onlooker, but in reality, it felt awkward to the two. They didn't know how to handle it. With nothing to guide them, the moment passed, and Levi truly wished to be alone with his musings and demons. "Go to bed, Eren."

This time, the boy listened.