A/N: This was written as a writing challenge with sarahloulabellx who wanted to see a story about Nick, Dylan and Jeff down the pub discussing their love lives.
An antisocial doctor, a clinical lead and a paramedic walk into a bar. Nick Jordan smirked to himself, it sounded like the beginning of a bad joke.
Nick was never one to find himself embroiled in his colleague's love lives, however he had found himself on a rare outing down the pub and had found that the table of his choosing was right in the middle of the turbulent marriages of Dixie and Jeff and Dylan and Sam.
He had told himself that he wasn't going to listen in. He had told himself that he was simply going to read his paper, yet somehow the crossword section in the Holby Herald didn't quite provide the same entertainment factor as the heated discussion going on next to him.
"I'm telling you now Dix, I aint gonna put up with it."
Nick slowly lowered his paper. Jeff sounded pretty angry, whatever Dixie had done it would've had to have been pretty serious.
"Deal with it Jeffrey, I'm right and you know I am"
"You see this is exactly what I'm sick of, you belittle everything I say"
"I can't help it if you're wrong."
Nick subtly pulled his chair closer to their table, whatever was happening was obviously a sensitive issue that was threatening to their friendship.
"You know what Dix fine, if you want to paint the back bedroom yellow, you paint the back bedroom yellow. Just don't come crying to me when you realise that blue would've been the much better choice."
She got out of her seat.
"Cheers Jeffrey."
"You what?"
"I said cheers, I'm glad we've reached a solution."
"But..."
"See you love, I'm off to the paint shop."
Before Jeff had a chance to protest she had dashed off, leaving him alone to regret his sarcastic comment.
He turned to face Nick.
"Who would want to paint a room yellow?"
Nick gestured to the seat next to him.
"Come sit here."
Doing as instructed Jeff picked up his drink and sat down.
"Word of advise, don't ever marry a lesbian."
"Message received, loud and clear."
Before anything more could be said the sound of an argument erupted from the next table over.
"What have I supposedly meant to have done wrong here?"
"You're acting like a jealous child, Dylan."
"Me, Jealous? Might I point out to you that I am far more advanced in my career than Doctor Kent ever will be."
"You're jealous of the fact that he got me flowers, aren't you?"
"Oh please, he probably swiped them off a lamppost on his way to work this morning."
Jeff and Nick exchanged looks of horror before looking over at Sam to see her reaction to the insensitive statement.
"I'm leaving now and I shall be expecting an apology in the morning."
With that she turned on her heel and swiftly stormed out of the pub, leaving Dylan in an even worse mood than he was before. He turned to face Jeff and Nick.
"Can you believe that? So he buys her some commercially overrated and supposedly romantic gift and he's man of the hour. What's the world coming to?"
Jeff gestured to the one remaining chair at his and Nick's table.
"Come and sit down mate, you look like you could do with some company."
He exhaled loudly and reluctantly accepted his offer. Nick glanced between Jeff and Dylan.
"So having trouble then?"
They both nodded.
"Well might I offer you a few words of advice?"
Dylan glanced his watch.
"I suppose you could."
"You need to stand you ground, let them know who's in control. Never back down and never give in to their demands, the moment you start letting them boss you around is the moment they've gained the upper hand."
Before Jeff and Dylan had a chance to respond the sound of Nick's prominent ring tone interrupted.
"Hello? Yes, yes of course. I'll be there straight away."
Nick quickly got out of his seat and shrugged his jacket back on.
"Is there a problem at the E.D?" Dylan asked, picking up on his urgency.
"No Yvonne has found a spider in the bath and she wants me to get rid of it."