"Falling Inside The Black"
Tonight I'm so alone.
This sorrow takes a hold.
Don't leave me here so cold
(Never want to be so cold)
"I'm proud of us." He whispers to his little brother, grabbing his shoulder on reassurance. He needs to let Sammy know. Sammy needs to know that he's proud.
And then a funny feeling centres itself in his chest. And the world faded out slowly. He can feel himself falling towards his brother. He can feel Sam shaking his limp body. He can feel his brothers tears falling on to his shoulder.
Dean knew his brother was right there next to him. Calling his name. Begging him to come back. But, trapped inside his mind, surrounded by Darkness that was pulling at him, he had never felt ore alone. He had never felt so cold. He never wanted to be this cold.
Your touch used to be so kind
Your touch used to give me life
I've waited all this time,
I've wasted so much time
Dean thought of Sam. He thought of all the things that he needed to male right. All the things he needed to apologize for. All the things he needed Sam to know.
He thought of the way Sam was holding his dead body that he was trapped in. How he couldn't feel the kind touch. How he couldn't feel the tears falling onto his shoulder anymore. He thought about all the time he had wasted, not comforting his little brother.
He thought of the life Sam's hands had brought him when they were younger. He thought of the smiles that would bring him out of his misery. He thought of the tears that always brought him running.
Don't leave me alone
Cause I barely see at all
Don't leave me alone, I'm
He could feel himself being lifted into the car. When had Sam moved him? He didn't know. He couldn't feel anything. He felt Sam leave his side. He knew he hadn't gone far, only toby he front seat, but his brothers touch... he couldn't feel it physically, but he knew it was there. It was comforting.
He didn't want his brother to leave him alone. He was falling. He could feel the Mark pulling and grabbing. He could feel it dragging him towards it's Darkness.
Don't leave me Sammy... don't leave me alone. Please Sam. Dean tried to call out. But his body was dead. He couldn't use it.
Falling in the black
Slipping through the cracks
Falling to the depths can I ever go back
He fought the Mark. He had to for Sammy. He has to. He didn't want to become what it wanted him to become. He didn't want to be a killer. But his resolve was slipping. E was losing this fight. Would he ever be able to make it back? He was falling... falling down onto the Darkness. Struggling to stay up, to keep a hold.
Dreaming of the way it used to be
Can you hear me?
Dean remembered how it used to be. Before everything happened. How it was just him and Sam and Iles of wide open road. Monsters to gank. No demons or angel's or destiny to worry about. Just them.
Or even before them, as kids. With dad driving in the front and watching Sammy grow. Raising him up to be a good man. A strong man.
He tries to call out to Sam again. Trying to tell him he's proud. Trying to tell him to go and live his life. But Sammy couldn't hear him screaming, could he? He couldn't hear Dean trying to fight off the Marks power or tell him he was proud of his little brother. Sammy couldn't hear any of it
Because Dean's body was dead. And his soul was trapped inside.
Falling in the black
Slipping through the cracks
Falling to the depths can I ever go back
Falling inside the black
Falling inside, falling inside the black
Dean was falling again. Slipping through the cracks that were getting bigger by the minute. He tried to pull up. He tried to jump out. He tried everything. But he couldn't escape it. He could feel the blackness swallowing him up.
You were my source of strength
I've traded everything
That I love for this one thing
(Stranded in the offering)
He thought back to why he had taken the Mark. To kill Abbadon. To protect Sammy. Sammy, his little brother, the one thing that kept him going in life. His strength when he was weak. His heart when had none.
He gave everything to keep the boy safe. Everything. He gave up Lisa and Ben, he gave up his pureness, his childhood, he gave everything.
But, he gave up his entire world for the Mark. Cas avoided him, Sam didn't trust him... his whole life, gone. He couldn't stop himself. He couldn't stop the blood lust and the nightmares. He couldn't do anything.
He was stranded in the offer he had taken. Stranded on an island in the middle of nowhere with no help, no boat to save him in sight. Stranded in the offering he made.
Don't leave me here like this
Can't hear me scream from the abyss
And now I wish for you my desire
He was lifted from the car, his brothers hands back to carrying his limp, dead, body. When had they gotten back? He didn't care though. He just didn't want to be alone, Sammy's presence wasn't much of a comfort considering he couldn't truly feel it, but at least he knew he wasn't alone.
Sam laid him down, a familiar feeling taking hold. My room. Dean thought. He felt Sam's presence fade away slowly. No Sammy! Don't leave me here to fight this on my own! Sammy don't leave! Stay here Sammy! Please! Dean shouts.
But of course Sam can't hear him. He's screaming in his head, not out loud. He wished Sam wouldn't lave him her alone though. He wanted his little brother to be there for him. He wanted his little Sammy.
Don't leave me alone
Cause I barely see at all
Don't leave me alone, I'm
The Darkness made another attempt to climb over him. To swallow him. He was alone, he couldn't fight this alone. He needed help from Sammy. But Sam had left him. He was losing his sight now, barley able to see what was happening to his soul now. He was fading away...
Falling in the black
Slipping through the cracks
Falling to the depths can I ever go back
He was falling again, but he was growing tired of fighting. He just wanted it to be over. The depths of Darkness looked almost comforting now. Like a soft warm blanket he could hide in.
Dreaming of the way it used to be
Can you hear me?
He thought again of how it used to be. How hard it had been. He remembered selling his soul for an ungrateful Sam. He remembered coming back from Hell, only to find that Sam didn't even follow his last request. He remembered detoxing Sam from the Demon Blood. He remembered everything bad to happen between them...
He wanted to apologize to Sam before he gave in. But Sam wasn't there, Sam was gone. Sam had left him aloe.
Falling in the black
Slipping through the cracks
Falling to the depths can I ever go back
Falling inside the black
Falling inside, falling inside the black, black, black, black
He let himself fall. He let the darkness close up around him, closing off all the light. He knew he shouldn't have the moment after. The peace encompassing him was strange. It felt more like nothing than peace. He felt his emotions slipping away slowly.
Another presence entered tell room at that moment.
(Falling in the black.)
Your brother, bless his soul, is summoning me as I speak.
A deep voice, with an accent said. Crowley then.
(Slipping through the cracks.)
Make a deal, bring you back. It exactly what I was talking about, wasn't it?
Falling in the black
It's all become so... expected.
Slipping through the cracks
You have to believe me, when I suggested you take on the mark of Cain, I didn't know this was going to happen. Nor really.
Falling to the depths can I ever go back
I mean, I way not have told you the entire truth, buy I didn't lie. I never lied Dean. That's important. It's fundamental.
Dreaming of the way it used to be
But there is one story of Cain that I may have, forgotten, to tell you.
Can you hear me?
Apparently he too was willing to accept death rather than becoming the killer the Mark wanted him to be. So he took his own life with the Blade.
Falling in the black
He died.
Slipping through the cracks
Except as rumour has it, the Mark never quite let go. You can understand why I never spoke of this.
Falling to the depths can I ever go back
Why set hearts a flutter with mere speculation?
Dean could feel the blade in the room. He could feel the itch in his arm, the need surrounding him to take it and kill, kill, kill.
Falling inside the black
It wasn't until you summoned me, no it wasn't truly 'til you left the cheeseburger uneaten... and I began to let myself believe,
The blade entered Dean's hand and he felt a surge of power.
Can you hear me?
Maybe miracles do come true.
He felt Crowley lift his hand with the blade to rest over his chest
Falling inside the black
Listen to me Dean Winchester, what you're feeling right now is not death, it's life. A new kind of Life.
Can you hear me?
Open your eyes Dean
Falling inside the black
See what I see,
Can you hear me?
Feel what I feel
Falling inside
And let's go take a howl at that moon.
Falling inside, falling inside
And Dean opened his black eyes.
The black.
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