It was the third week into her newly single life, the tears from her separation with Casey still fresh, still forming in his eyes each time they saw each other. Jane had resigned herself to accepting that perhaps his ability to cry—a trait she no longer possessed—would allow him to move on sooner, as soon as his hurts were all cried out. It had been years since she was able to seek comfort in the release a good cry would bring. So long, she didn't remember the feeling enough to miss it.
Spring was just underway, the winter-dead trees budding with dots of green on the horizons of the city streets she drove to take her to work, to pick up the kids from school, to drop them off with Casey. The first signs of life brought by warmer temperatures and longer days were always the much needed boost to Jane's "glass-is-half-empty" personality. Her outlook had not always been so bleak, but as years sped by, it seemed as though the universe was steadily trying to prove its' point that she was not destined to find happiness. Just a couple of weeks ago, her spirits were unusually high as she allowed herself the chance to feel whatever emotions came about during the move away from her home of 16 years. She signed a lease for an apartment only a few miles away from the modest house she became a wife and mother in. The new place had more than enough room for her and the children (at least she hoped it would). It would be tough getting acquainted with new surroundings herself, and she convinced herself that the kids would grow to call it their second home.
Three weeks ago, Casey sat on the sofa at home, Jane's now former home, fingers clicking away on his laptop. It was the first day of April, and Jane fleetingly wondered if she chose the best day to move out. She wasn't superstitious, but seeing as how she was making a life-altering decision that affected not only her but the three people she loved most in this world, it did cross her mind that it was April Fool's day. Dismissing it as a silly thought, she continued to drag a small dresser from the back of the house, an extra piece of storage they had kept in their closet, to the living room so she could load it up on the truck. Casey never looked up, but continue to type, seemingly engrossed in whatever he was doing. What didn't cross Jane's mind was to ask for him to lift one finger to help. He was angry, bitter, and hurt by the current state of Jane's doings. There was no way he would extend help to his wife if the help she needed was to move out of their family home. She struggled to lift the dresser over the threshold and onto the front porch, but he pretended to pay no mind. He would just bang it into the wall anyway, Jane thought. He had never been helpful around the house, and obviously this was not the day he would turn over a new leaf. Once she caught her breath, Jane bent her knees to pick up the dresser closer to the ground, and heaved it onto the edge of the truck, sliding it forward as far as it would go. She hoped he heard her groan with exertion, thinking that perhaps years down the road he would feel like an ass for his childish behavior.
Later that evening, in her near empty, stale smelling duplex, Jane tried to envision how it might one day feel cozy, like a home instead of a ghost-like shell of a place. She had left most of the household things with Casey and the kids, as the only way she knew to live was to put the feelings and well being of others ahead of her own. She didn't need a bed to sleep in right now, but as long as Luke and Olivia had warm comfortable places to sleep, little else mattered. It stung to know that she wouldn't be able to afford to buy beds for her kids at the new place yet, which meant they would be spending more time with Casey for now. She had never spent much time away from the kids, always making sure to put them to bed with prayers and goodnight kisses whenever possible. This was almost everyday, with an occasional change in schedule if she were sick or on a rare night out with a few coworkers. Above all transitions and adjustments to be made upon leaving the life she knew, separating from her husband and stepping into an unknown world of living an authentic life, being apart from her children would be what saddened her most.