Buildings!

by Nightlife Eyes

Lucas Scott loved Peyton Sawyer because if he didn’t she would fall apart. And she’d beg for time And he would give her time Don't they build buildings so tall these days AU! Future! BLP! LP to BL Character Deaths! R&R! Song Fic! One Shot!

Buildings

Disclaimer: i don't own One Tree Hill or any of the characters, i also don't own Regina Spector or her song Buildings.

Everything is the same except Lucas became an archiet so none of the book stuff happened, he was still going through college in season 5 because he'd taken time off to travel with Andy and Karen (Lily doesn't exist.) He did date and was going to marry Lindsay (who he met in college because she wasn't his book editor) but Peyton objected at the wedding and Lindsay ran off. Dan is still in jail.

Warning: Alcoholism is the main one, character deaths another.

R&R

Lucas Scott had once loved Peyton Sawyer, he knew it. he must have, why else would he have hurt Brooke so badly at least twice? Maybe even three times? Why else was she the one he always saved? From school, from family, from Ian, from bleeding to death in their high school library, from LA, from herself? Why would he have married her? And now three years after being married to her why did he stay? He stayed because despite her constant drinking he loved her. He had too because if he didn't she might not make it. Lucas Scott loved Peyton Sawyer because if he didn't she would fall apart.

He was a husband who drove his wife home drunk from the parties
He was a husband who drove his wife home
And in the car he would lean her head gently against the side door window
And in the bathroom he would hold her hair back and hope, saying;

"Come on honey you've had enough and we need to go." Lucas said patiently as he watched his wife drink another glass of wine.

"Down be such a downer we're just getting started." Peyton had retorted as she refilled her wine glass. Lucas sighed as the blonde drank the red liquid just as fast as she had poured it. he looked over at his brother who turned back to the barbeque not even bothering to hide his disappointment, or was it disgust? Brooke wasn't even looking at him, she'd long since excused herself from the painfully awkward conversation and went to play with Jamie. Lucas looked over as Jamie yelled and laughed happily with Brooke maybe everything could have been different. Lucas sighed and caught Haley's worried glance and she smiled politely and pretended not to notice Peyton reach yet again for the wine bottle.

"I'm so sorry Haley." Lucas apologised to his brother and best friend while trying to keep Peyton upright. It seemed as though this was all he did, say hello and sorry while trying to keep Peyton alive.

"It's ok Lucas, you need to get her home though." Haley said smiling tightly. Lucas nodded feeling guilty because once again they would be left with stains on the carpet tomorrow from Peyton and there was no more room in their living room for another rug or more pot plants to cover it.



"Come on Hales i'll help you clean it up." Brooke had offered and Haley and smiled gratefully. Nathan looked over at him.

"Do you want some help with Peyton?" he asked.

"No i've got it." Lucas said with a sigh.

Driving home Lucas glanced over at Peyton who was currently leaning with her head against the window pane, he sighed as they pulled into the drive way and he prepared himself for the long night ahead of him. Peyton mumbled something into the passenger side window and Lucas couldn't be bothered to try and decipher it as he helped her inside.

2am and Peyton was busying retching her guts out in the bathroom and whimpering forlornly about how she'd never drink again as Lucas held her hair back didn't hold his breath for her promises to come true. He had heard it all before.

Oh they build buildings
Oh they build buildings
Oh they build buildings
Oh they build buildings
Oh they build buildings
Oh they build buildings
Oh they build buildings
So tall these days

He started to talk about a project that was up for grabs, it could be the one to make his career, all he had to do was ace the interview. There were three other guys up for the job too, an office building seventy stories high, he told her all about his plans for the building, everything he would do, he told everything about the tall building he wanted to design even though he knew she wasn't listening and didn't care. When this first became a habit he had tried to fight it, tried to force her to stop, he knew it was there and back then he had acknowledged it, then somehow he had started to talk about the plans they'd make for the next weekend, then he had turned to the weather as a topic of conversation, two years later neither one cared if it was going to rain tomorrow because no matter if it did they would still end up having a bad day. So now he talked about his job that she didn't care about and neither did he but he held her hair back as she mumbled she was sorry and he told her he was building a seventy story office block. Just like they'd done the weekend before and just like they would the weekend to come.

And in the morning she'd wake up and crouch recollections all day
But she would always always wake up the next morning
He'd take one look at her a say "Oh, oh it's okay"
And her conscience would issue yet another last warning, saying;



"Good morning." Lucas said when Peyton wondered in hung over as usual. Peyton just nodded and went straight to the coffee machine. Peyton sat across from him and looked just as bad as last night, if not worse. He sighed and went back to his paper because he knew she would remember soon and knew she say she was oh so sorry and he'd say it was oh so ok. But she wasn't and it wasn't and he didn't want to deal with it that morning.

Just as he thought that night when he came home she was waiting for him with dinner made, take out ordered actually, after all these years she still though he believed she could cook. He'd learnt long ago she couldn't, or if she could she'd forgotten. Regardless of Peyton's cooking skills, or lack thereof when Lucas got home there was a candle lit dinner waiting for him and Peyton was there, a bottle of wine already open.

Oh they build buildings
Oh they build buildings
Oh they build buildings
Oh they build buildings
Oh they build buildings
Oh they build buildings
Oh they build buildings
So tall these days

He finds himself wondering why he knows the spare room better than he does their bedroom until he adds up roughly how many nights he spends in there rather than in the bed with his wife. He realises it makes perfect sense for him to know the spare room better than the master bedroom, it would be strange to be any other way. He hears a glass smash and Peyton's slurring voice curse and rolls over starring at the blank wall waiting for sleep.

Another fight, he was sleeping on Nathan and Haley's couch feeling terrible about it because from where he was he could see the latest stain from Peyton's drinking, he tried to look away but ended up focussing on the pot plant that was stratigcally placed to conceal another stain and the rug on the floor hid four of five stains. Lucas had tried again and again to pay for them the replace the carpet but time and time again Nathan and Haley refused, Maybe it was just as well because all three knew there would be a new stain as soon as Peyton came over again.

This time after slamming the door on his way out Lucas ended up at his office, third time this week because Peyton's been drinking again as always, except she was supposed to pick up Jamie that afternoon, instead she was passed on the couch and Jamie had to wait and wait and wait for the blonde who didn't show.

It was beginning to get ridiculous when Lucas resorted to sleeping in his car because it was a Friday night and he didn't usually work on Saturdays and because Nathan and Haley were far too kind to say no and because if he stayed in the spare room he'd do something he would eventually end up regretting.

And she would ask for time
And she'd ask for time
And she'd ask for time


And she'd ask for time
And she would beg for time
And she'd beg for time
And call it a gift
And he would give her time
And he'd give her time
And he'd give her time
And he'd give her time

Finally when it got to be too much for him he decided to try and get Peyton some help, he wondered if an intervention would be too drastic and ended up talking to her about it at breakfast when she has a hangover and he has a business meeting, he didn't plan it that way but it was how it happened. she begged and pleaded telling him she would try harder.

"Don't send me away." She cried. "I'll do anything please."

He sighed and could feel himself wearing down even though he knew her speech off by heart.

"it's just been a hard week that's all, things will get better i promise, i'll be better too, just you see i'll stop. I don't need it. please just give me more time. As a gift for me. You love me don't you? please i'll stop i swear." Peyton begged and Lucas still doesn't know if it's because the clock on the wall above her says it's quarter to nine and he'll be late if he stays or if it's because he believes this time will be different or maybe because he knows the next part of the speech and can't stand to hear it again but he agrees.

"Ok, this is the last stop before we get you some real help. I know you'll try thigns will get better for us soon. Please try. I love you. i know you don't mean too. One more month, we'll see what's happened then." Lucas said as he was halfway out the door, it didn't matter though because Peyton was halfway to the liquor cabinet anyway.

Months later it's still the same argument, the same begging, the same response and probably the same meeting. It never changes.

But time is not given and time is not taken
It just sifts through its sift
But time is not given and time is not taken
It just sifts through its sift

He doesn't know why he's stopped fighting her and started letting her slowly kill herself, he may as well just pour it down her throat but a long time ago he realised it was how it was going to be. That was about the time he started to keep a bottle of whiskey in his desk drawer at work. Maybe it was when Nathan and Haley had their second child, Isabelle Brooke Scott, or maybe it was last year on the 3rd of August when they gathered around to remember Brooke and Lucas remembered he never stopped loving her. When Peyton got drunk that night and told him all about how she was a terrible person because of senior year of high school when she told Brooke she was in love with him Lucas didn't correct her or tell her everything would be ok, for once he had a drink with her because he wanted one day not to be about her. But it didn't work because there was another stain on Nathan and Haley's carpet, another fight between Haley and Peyton, another conversation without words 

between Lucas and Nathan and another night of holding back Peyton's hair while she swears she'll never drink again and he says he loves her. They both lie.

Sifts through its sift
Just sifts through its sift
Oh, Oh ooooo
Sifts through its sift
Just sifts through its sift

Lucas didn't tell anyone about his conversations with Brooke, they wouldn't believe him anyway, he's not even sure if he believes himself. Some days he's sure he's crazy and others he knows he's perfectly sane. She comes to visit him when it's late at night, at first she was bloody and broken and dead but lately she's just Brooke, smiling and happy to see him. She listens when he talks nut when he tells her he loves her she leaves, he's learnt not to tell her anymore.

When he dreams he dreams about her, sometimes it's high school again and they're happy, he has nightmares about her too, that she had Peyton's role in this life, that he was there when she died, that she hated him, that he didn't save her, the scariest thing of all is when he wakes up he knows it's true. But most dreams are good dreams and they talk easily and happily and he tells her secrets she says she already knows. He dreams he didn't have to take a drunk Peyton home that night and instead he saved her from the drunk driver. He hates Peyton just a little bit more each time he sees Brooke, even though she not really there.

Once he told Peyton about seeing Brooke and dreaming about her, it had ended in a fight about how he didn't love her enough and how people always leave her. Lucas nearly told her that it was true. He nearly told her that she was such a horrible person people died to get away from her, first it was her mother, then Ellie and now Brooke. But he didn't because he couldn't handle having to look after her or apologise. Besides he had to finish the blue prints for the building in time for the meeting next week, there was no time to tell Peyton he wished everything was different.

So he'd retreated to his work and she'd retreated to alcohol again.

And it was coffee and coffee and coffee and coffee and coffee
And coffee some more
He'd go to work and she'd take a sick day and rot at the core
And by the time he came back she'd scrub the bathrooms and make them smell like pine
It would be almost as if nothing had happened
And he'd give her time
Oh, oh, and he'd give her time saying:

He comes home and nearly faints from the fumes, pine cleaner hangs in the air so strong he swears his nose will explode and yet as strong as the pine clearer is Lucas can still smell the alcohol Peyton tries so carefully to hide. When he walks into the kitchen Peyton turns and smiles at him.

Hi honey how was your day?

Fine thanks how was yours?



Good. Went shopping with Haley, hung around the house, that sort of thing.

She doesn't mention the bottle of vodka she drank in between Oraph and Dr Phil.

Sounds great.

She thinks he doesn't know that nearly every day the house smells of pine cleaner so strong they'll probably die soon from poisoning or maybe she thinks he doesn't connect the breath mints that are constantly masking the smell of vodka or rum or tequila from her breath and the empty bottles in the trash or the ones missing from the bar and she must think he's an idiot to over look her slight slurring or stumbling on the very bad days.

But he doesn't say anything about it so why should she assume any less?

Two more years of the exact same thing and it's finally too much because time hasn't done anything for their problem except make it worse, Peyton brings up anything she can think of to fight about, money, his job, their past, the colour of the guest room, Haley pulling out of a partnership with her, Lucas spending too much time with Nathan and the guys, Lucas siding with Haley, the Lindsay incident, anything and everything... but then one night Peyton mentions her again and that's one step too far. Lucas calls Peyton a coward and a pathetic drunk and she throws her empty wine glass at his head and calls him spineless and weak. And then you tell her something both of you knew all along, she was always second, second choice, second best, second and she tells him she knows it but Brooke didn't.

So with that he leaves telling her to have a good drink and get another life.

Oh they build buildings
Oh they build buildings
Oh they build buildings
Oh don't they build buildings
Oh they build buildings
Oh they build buildings
Oh, they build buildings so tall these days

But three weeks later he checks out of his hotel and heads back to her because if her slurring voice messages where she'd cry and beg that she was sorry weren't enough the call from the hospital saying that someone had found her passed out in the gutter, her blood alcohol level three times the legal limit and that they'd kept her in hospital overnight for observation was enough because no matter how much he hated the job and wished it was different it was his job to hold her hair back and he had to love her, three weeks and she was already falling apart. She needed him to love her so Lucas Scott loved Peyton Sawyer because who else would? People always leave.

Six months later Haley and Nathan think everything's back on track, Lucas and Peyton smile in all the right places and appear at all the right times. But Lucas knows that things aren't working, they haven't been for a while if they ever were to begin with and he knows they probably won't ever be alright again.



He got that big contract, the one that could give him his big break and it's finally been built, it's just how he's always dreamed it and it's the opening ceremony when Peyton relapses after a week of being sober, she drinks everything and anything she can find because it was an open bar.

And she would ask for time
And she'd ask for time
And she'd ask for time
She'd beg for time
And she would beg for time
And she'd beg for time
And call it a gift
And he would give her time
And he'd give her time
And he'd give her time
And he'd give her time
But time is not given and time is not taken

She slurs all sorts of things to him in front of everyone and all that time she begged for means nothing, that week he felt something resembling pride disappears because once again she's fallen and doesn't even care. When she was sober he could see a glimpse of the person he could have had feelings for but when she's drunk he sees the person he hates more than anything else in the world. He looks around at the room full of people who were meant to be there to celebrate his success but now only see his failure and he wants to cry. His bosses are there, all of them and they're looking embarrassed for him, his collagues are there and they looked away but still whispered about him, Nathan and Haley were there with Jamie and they tried to help but Peyton pushed them away yelling hurtful things and Lucas understood why they left. He finally gets Peyton moving towards the front doors and he risks one last look at everyone, no one knows what to do and he doesn't either and they're almost to the car when he sees her standing in the window looking at him but unlike all the others she's smiling happily. He wants so much to rush back inside and find her but he can't, he knows that. Peyton needs him but even if she didn't Brooke would be gone by the time he got there because she was never there in the first place.

He had a ghost he wanted and a drunk he didn't.

The next night Lucas is still mad at her and Peyton still doesn't see why, she says she's sorry again and again but after eight years he's finally started to be abe to tell the difference between her i'm sorrys, there's the genuine i'm sorry which Lucas hasn't seen in a long, long time, maybe because Peyton thinks the world owes her something so she's not too sorry for anything, the drunk i'm sorry which is slurred or mumbled into car windows, echoes in bathrooms and comes out in sobs and hiccups to him and then there's the i'm sorry he hears most often after her drunken slurred apologies, the one over a telephone, still drunk and slurring and crying and begging but somewhere where he's not, he likes it better that way, the i'm sorry she's given him now is the one where she wants it all to go away, she's sorry they're fighting but doesn't think it's her fault, she's not sorry she's just trying to get to her next drink.



It just sifts through its sift
But time is not given and time is not taken
It just sifts through its sift

They end up in a fight when Lucas decides to break routine and not forgive her, she yells at him and he yells right back. She says he doesn't love her and he says she's right. She gets defensive and angry and says that wasn't what he was supposed to say, she says he was supposed to fight for her and tell her he did love her, he married her after all so she knew he loved her. He just needed to tell her. He yelled at her and told her all the things he'd wanted to tell her for so long, that she was weak and pathetic for drinking, that he wished everything was different, that he knows she hasn't stopped drinking in almost eight years and that it's killing him. she's says he's supposed to stand by her, that's what a husband should do, he tells he her has been for the last eight years but something should have changed, he was supposed to have been able to stand by her for the good times too but they didn't have any of those and it's too late for him to stick around and wait anymore.

Why did you marry me then?

The question hangs in the air and he's so angry now, about how she can always turn things back onto herself and about how Brooke died five years ago tonight but she doesn't remember or just doesn't care.

Because i knew you'd say yes, i didn't know if Brooke would and i didn't want my heart broken.

It's a terrible thing to say but he's needed to say it because he can't take it anymore, her drinking and him having to look after her, it wasn't fair and he couldn't do it anymore. he'd saved her all through high school couldn't that have been enough?

Two weeks later and things are beginning to form a pattern, they don't talk, don't touch and don't anything at all. She drinks her coffee to try and loose her hangover and he works harder and harder to make up for the incident at his opening.

Oh sifts though its sift,
Sifts through its sift
Oh oooo
Oh sifts through its sift
Sifts through its sift

It's been five days and he hasn't seen Peyton, he's worried she's drinking again but can't help but hope she won't come back. Peyton shows up at four am, drunk as usual and can't get in because someone broke her key, not that she's drunk, her key's just broken. Lucas pretends not to hear the racket she's making and goes back to sleep, he's asleep in the guest room again even he shouldn't have to. When morning comes Lucas already feels guilty about everything, his packed bags, her passed out on the porch, him having left her there. But it doesn't stop him because he's sure if it does he'll die. So he gathers her into his arms and puts her to bed like he always does and then he left, maybe this time he'd find the strength to stay away for good.

He was a husband drove time
Home, time, car


Oh core
Cores the day
Core coffee
Core warning
Last warning

But two months later Peyton calls him again, the first two weeks that's all she'd done was call him and cry. But this time was different, she called and said she was pregnant. Lucas couldn't believe it, was he going to be a father? He'd rushed over to the house they'd once shared and felt his heart stop, Peyton had passed out, near her lay empty bottles that he couldn't stop her from drinking. He was so angry not only had her drinking ruined their relationship and was on it's way to killing her it had also killed their child. Quickly he rang 911 and prayed he was wrong, that somehow the child had survived and would be perfectly healthy, the paramedics arrived and told him sadly that there was no way a baby could have survived, they loaded her into the ambulance and asked if he wanted to ride with them, he shook his head and they drove off.

The hospital called and told him Peyton had her stomach pumped and she was fine but there had been nothing they could do about the baby, it was already dead. Five minutes after he hung up the phone Lucas finally let himself cry.

Lucas goes to visit her and she cries and begs all over again but he tells her it's over, so she cries and begs some more. He can't forgive her for what she's done and he leaves because it's partly his fault too. Maybe mostly his fault because he didn't try hard enough to stop for from drinking, he didn't get her help, he only gave her time.

Was a husband
Time pine
Scrub scrub
Bathroom
Lean hair back
Car window
Hope
Time give

Lucas ended up on the roof of his building, it's seventy stories high just like he wanted and he stands starring out over the edge.

"Don't do it Luke." She says and he turns to see her standing there looking just the same as she had the first time he met her.

"You're not real." Lucas told her. He'd finally started to convince himself he was crazy and she showed up.

"That's not a nice thing to say." Brooke retorted. "Just because i died doesn't mean i'm not real anymore."

"I'm sorry." Lucas says immediately feeling bad.



"Well stop it, you're right, i'm not real anymore, you've got to stop being broody, Broody." She smiles a little.

"Why are you here?" Lucas asks. Brooke shrugged.

"Coz i want to be." She tells him. "I'm here so you can see the right thing to do and go back to Peyton, just like Keith did for you."

"How do you know about that?" Lucas askes, he never told anyone that.

"Keith tells me lots of things." Brooke says.

"You talk to him?" Lucas asks.

"Yeah there's not much else to do up there, just me and Karen and Keith hanging out. I don't know anyone else, cept Peyton's mums but they're too busy watching over her." Brooke explains sounding rather like a small child.

"So why aren't you?" Lucas asks.

"Because it's you i'm worried about." Brooke says.

"Don't be, everything will be better soon." Lucas says and moves back to the edge.

"Don't do it Lucas." Brooke says. "Peyton needs you."

"But i need you more." Lucas says and he jumps.

His life flashes before his eyes just like in the movies, there's Peyton drinking, Haley, Nathan and Jamie, there's Lindsay and Keith and Karen, there's high school, there's work, there's basketball but mostly there's Brooke.

Don't they build buildings so tall these days

Clearing things up:

Takes place roughly over five years, starts three years after season five's ending (I haven't seen any spoilers for season 6 but i can guess mark will screw it up and have him call Peyton. EWWW!)

"He finds himself wondering why he knows the spare room better than he does their bedroom until he adds up roughly how many nights he spends in there rather than in the bed with his wife." – About six months since he drove Peyton home drunk from Haley and Nathan's.

"Finally when it got to be too much for him he decided to try and get Peyton some help, he wondered if an intervention would be too drastic and ended up talking to her about it at breakfast when she has a hangover and he has a business meeting, he didn't plan it that way but it was how it happened. she begged and pleaded telling him she would try harder." – about a year later.



"He doesn't know why he's stopped fighting her and started letting her slowly kill herself, he may as well just pour it down her throat but a long time ago he realised it was how it was going to be." Brooke had died in a car crash a year before.

"Lucas didn't tell anyone about his conversations with Brooke, they wouldn't believe him anyway, he's not even sure if he believes himself." – a month after the memorial thing for Brooke where Peyton got drunk and she and Lucas fought.

"They end up in a fight when Lucas decides to break routine and not forgive her, she yells at him and he yells right back." – a year later Lucas is tired of Peyton's drinking.

I think the rest is ok.

Oh and for some reason i killed Karen, in my head she just got sick and died, before the story started but after season 5. (i know i hate myself for it i love Karen, and Brooke, and Keith... and Lucas when he's not a dick!)

I know i lot of jumping around and probably stupid and confusing and not making sense but it's there.

Oh and i don't know that's going on with the tense it jumps around too.

I couldn't get it out of my head it's such a beautiful song. What do you think?

I hate Lucas/Peyton and love Brooke/Lucas so that's why it is the way it is.

Please review!