Title: Perceptions
Rating: T
Characters/Pairing: Tosh, Ianto
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Summary: Set directly after the episode Adam. Owen has finally gotten to Tosh and she wonders if she will ever be good enough. For the hc_bingo prompt body image issues.
Warnings: none
Length: 1,200
Disclaimer: I own nothing. No copyright infringement intended.
Tosh waited until everyone had gone back to their regular duties before she let herself feel the sting of Owen's rejection. She stared down at the flowers and took a stuttering breath. Tears began to gather in her eyes as she read the note again. Why was Owen playing with her emotions like this?
Frustrated and hurt, she grabbed the bouquet and tossed it into the trash, vase and all. It landed in the bin with a loud crash, glass breaking on impact. She cringed, looking around to see if anyone was going to appear, curious about the sound.
"What was that?" Jack said from around the corner.
Tosh quickly stood, stepping in front of the bin, blocking it from view. She shrugged her shoulders. "I just dropped my cup."
Jack looked at her suspiciously. The noise hadn't been even close to a cup breaking, but there was something about her expression that made him step back and accept her answer.
"Are you sure you're all right?"
Tosh smiled wanly. "Yeah, thanks for checking, though."
She waited until he rounded the corner before walking toward the bathroom. She tried to hide her face as she walked through the open hub. She didn't want any more questions about her wellbeing.
When she made it to the bathroom, she ducked inside, closing and locking the door behind her. She slumped back against the door and put her hands over her face. A sob broke from her chest and tears fell from her eyes.
Pushing herself up off the door, she wiped her eyes and walked over toward the mirror. She stared at herself for a moment, taking in the reddened eyes and flushed cheeks.
She wondered if she was different, more like the other girls she'd seen Owen with, if he would notice her.
She brushed her hair off the side. Wishing it was longer or maybe lighter. She had seen him with so many blondes when they went out together at the pub.
Her gaze dropped to her torso. She looked at her curves, or the lack thereof. She brushed her hand over her side, imagining for a moment how she would look with fuller hips.
She was far from the perfect woman and she knew it.
Ianto walked by Tosh's desk, looking for stray coffee mugs that needed washing. As he bent to grab one from the corner of her desk, he saw the flowers in the trash. He blinked, taking in the sight.
Bending down, he plucked the card from the bin. The handwriting was indeed Owen's, so why did he deny them being from him. Ianto knew Owen was a prat, but what he did seemed more callous than usual, setting her up for a fall like that. Ianto was worried about her. She had seemed distant lately, more so than usual.
Tosh might have shown a strong front, but Ianto knew she was more fragile than she seemed. He stood, tucking the card in his pocket and went to see Owen.
"What's this about, Owen?" Ianto said, stepping down into the medical bay.
Owen looked up from the weevil he was dissecting. "What's what about?" the doctor snapped.
Ianto sighed, tossing the card down onto the corpse. "That."
Owen lifted the scalpel and flicked the card onto the floor. "It's from the flowers that I didn't send."
"We both know that's your handwriting."
"Fuck off, Ianto. I said I didn't write it."
Ianto stuffed his hands in his pockets, rocking back on his heels. "You know she threw them out, vase and all."
Owen pursed his lips. "Yeah, so?"
Ianto shrugged. "Just thought I would mention it, in case you cared."
"Well, I don't," Owen turned and shucked his gloves off into the bin.
"Then you won't care that she locked herself in the bathroom after she did it," Ianto said. Turning on his heel, Ianto walked up the stairs and left Owen to his thoughts.
There was a knock at the door and Tosh took a breath.
"Be right out."
"Tosh," Ianto's voice came from the other side of the door. "Can I come in?"
Tosh bit her lip, not knowing what to make of Ianto's sudden appearance.
"Just a moment," she said, quickly grabbing some tissue and dabbing at her eyes.
Once she had gathered herself, she opened the door. Ianto gave her a weak smile as he looked her over.
It was obvious she had been crying, and he felt a wave of anger at Owen for hurting her like he had.
Tosh moved to step out of the room, but Ianto stopped her.
"Can we talk?" he asked.
She nodded, lips pressed together in a tight line. "Sure, what do you need?"
Ianto shook his head. "I don't need anything. I just wanted to talk," he paused, "about Owen."
Tosh rubbed her hands against her jeans. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Tosh," Ianto placed a hand on her shoulder. "He's an arse, plain and simple, and you shouldn't let him get to you."
"I know," she said.
"I don't think you do." He squeezed her shoulder.
His words hit home and her eyes began to tear again. She sniffled, wiping away the forming tears with her sleeve.
"Talk to me, Tosh." He tucked a stray hair behind her ear.
"You wouldn't understand."
"Try me."
"He doesn't see me, Ianto. I try so hard, but he doesn't even notice me. And why would he."
Ianto shook his head, his hand dropping to her shoulder. "Because you're beautiful."
She felt her face blush in embarrassment and she shook her head. "I'm not."
"Listen, Tosh. I know you don't feel like you are, but it's the truth. Don't let Owen make you feel less than the amazing, intelligent woman you are."
Her lower lip quivered and she tried to turn away, but Ianto stopped her. He reached out and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tightly against his chest. All her pain and doubt seemed break to the surface and she cried into his chest.
A few days later, Tosh was walking through the hub when Owen walked past her, grumbling beneath his breath. He bumped into her, knocking the files from her hands. Before she could say a word, he stopped and turned to look at her, placing a hand on her shoulder.
"Sorry. You all right?" he said, looking genuinely concerned.
Tosh blinked, mouth agape. Owen never apologized, not to her, anyway.
"Tosh?"
"Oh, yeah," she said, forcing a smile. "I'm all right." She moved to bend down and collect the files from the floor, but he stopped her.
"Let me."
Tosh nodded, unsure what to make of the turn of events. She looked around, wondering if anyone else was seeing the complete change in Owen. Her eye caught Ianto, standing by Jack's office. He winked at her and she smiled back.
Ianto knew that with a bit of help Owen would see how much he was hurting Tosh. As much of a wanker as he liked to pretend to be, Ianto knew that he wouldn't purposely hurt one of his teammates, especially Tosh.
Jack walked up behind Ianto, resting his chin on his shoulder. "Everything all right?" he asked, wrapping his arms around the Welshman.
Ianto leaned his head against Jack's. "Not yet, but I think things are heading in that direction."