A Name as Cool as Akatsuki
Disclaimer: -evil grin- you think I own Naruto? Really? Well, maybe you think I own Johnny Depp and the pyramids at Giza too, hmmm?
A/N: remember, darlings, this has one yaoii scene…but I'll warn you when it happens, if you're not a fan of the lemony goodness. Then you can just mosey on over to the next chapter, or review, or run away screaming or whatever it is you generally do after reading a story. Deal?
Chapter One: Itachi and Kisame
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"Itachi-san, do you ever wonder who designed our cloaks?" Kisame asked, lying lazily on his back, Sameheda next to him.
The Uchiha looked askance at his partner-in-crime. "No, Kisame, I can't say I have."
"I do all the time. I mean, black and red? Chee, how generic. I tell you, black is way over-used for villains."
"Mmm…" Itachi pretended to care.
"Don't even get me started on the clouds—are you serious!? Most people associate clouds with fluffy bunnies and little girls and puppy love…things that are 'happy'. Is making the clouds red really going to change this perception and strike fear into enemies' hearts?"
"It kinda already does," Itachi pointed out.
"Oh."
"Mm-hmm."
"But still…I wonder who designed our cloaks."
"I heard from Zetsu that Konan-san did it," Itachi offered, "Maybe you should take up the issue with her."
Kisame
paled. With his blue skin, he looked like a rotting fish. "Uh…I
think I'd rather not."
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"Itachi-san," Kisame asked, breathing a little heavy as they climbed the steep hill, "I've been thinking—"
"A dangerous pastime," Itachi murmured.
"—about your name…did you ever receive any trouble when you were younger?"
Itachi's left eye twitched.
"Hey,
weasel boy, wanna play!?"
"Weasel-chan, come help mommy do
the dishes, please."
"Weasel-kun, I think you're ever so handsome!"
"Nii-chan, will you show me shuriken techniques?" Sasuke blinked as his normally stoic brother hugged him fiercely. "As long as you always call me nii-chan," he whispered.
"Uh…sure."
"Um, Itachi-san? You haven't said anything for about two minutes, are you feeling alright?"
Itachi turned scarlet eyes on the taller man. "Kisame, do you think anyone would have dared make fun of me for my name?"
A lesser, not so blue man would have flinched under that gaze. Kisame merely blinked. "No, Itachi-san."
"Then no one did."
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Okay little birdies, this is the yaoii part. The part where Itachi and Kisame are in love. The part with a lemon. Which means sex. I can't really spell it out much clearer than that, so shoo all of you who aren't closet/open yaoii fans. Shoo.
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"Kisame?" Itachi had a hard time keeping the surprise out of his voice, "Why are you sitting here?" It had just rained an hour ago, and parts of the ground are still muddy.
"I'm not sitting here. Look closer Itachi-san…" the blue skinned man said dully.
His feet were trapped fast in the hardened muck. Sameheda's bandages were murky with dirt and rainwater. Both fish-man and sword had such a comically mournful aura that Itachi had to smile. He crouched at Kisame's feet gracefully, using a gentle suiton to work them free. The other man watched patiently. When the limbs were free, they walked back to their campsite, and the ex Hidden Mist ninja burrowed his head into the ex Hidden Leaf ninja's lap.
"Itachi-san, I had such a terrible day," he complained as the night winds howled through the trees, "First in the morning, I couldn't find my cloak. Then I realized I'd laid it under Sameheda last night after undoing her bandages, so it was all torn up. All my spares were out on the wash! Then I found that there was no breakfast. I had to go all the way down to the nearest village, where they wouldn't serve me food because they didn't like my skin. So I had to kill a few people to get some respect, and then when they were willing to serve me, Leader-sama calls me to assist Deidara and Sasori, and I have to go save their sorry asses even before breakfast! Who told them to go fight a whole fucking army? Who? Its lunch by the time I finish up, and I go to a ramen bar, and they're out of fucking ramen! I was so pissed I came to sit here, then it started raining and that happened. Itachi-san, my life is awful!"
Itachi pulled him into an embrace. "I think I know how to make your day better," he whispered, crimson sharingan fading to a lustful black as he kissed his lover. Kisame probed his mouth, and wrestled with his tongue, hot and wet and familiar. Itachi grappled away the control by abruptly gripping his ass, making the bigger man moan. Kisame could practically taste his smirk.
Slowly, steadily, Itachi worked his kisses in a southern direction, while guiding Kisame backwards until he was laid out on the bare ground, disheveled, sweaty, and panting. Itachi was at his navel by now, but stopped to bring his lips back to the ex Kiri-nin's mouth. He nibbled at his lower lip, and Kisame bit back playfully, but not too hard. Itachi shivered as those serrated teeth scraped over his skin, his mind fogging over as heat rushed through his body.
"Kisame…"
The blue skinned man's only response was to wrap his legs around the younger one's waist, pulling him in, feeling his hard-on rub against his own arousal. Itachi gasped, and used his hands to hold the fish-man's wrists above his head.
"Don't get too cocky, Kisame," he grinned, and they chuckled at the old inside joke, "Let me show you who's in charge here."
Shucking off his cloak neatly, he undid both their pants one-handed and rubbed the man's gigantic cock. Kisame moaned, his hands struggling to be free, but Itachi's delicate bones were stronger than they looked, and he fought in vain as the younger man pinned him down effortlessly. Bending, Itachi took him into his mouth, sucking and nipping at his flesh, humming nonsense because he knew the vibrations would make his lover shudder in pleasure.
Kisame moaned again, louder, needier. Itachi sat up and Kisame engulfed him in a fiery kiss, passionate and greedy. Itachi raised an eyebrow as the man felt his ass, sliding a finger into his entrance. He hissed, displeased, as the tables were turned unexpectedly; Kisame was the one straddling his hips, and his hair was having an unpleasant affair with the dirty earth.
"Kisame," he warned, but the suddenly-in-control man wasn't about to give up without a fight. He nipped his lover's neck, his dick nudging his entrance. Itachi closed his eyes, pangs of fire lancing him. Maybe…just this once…
"Aaaah!" he gasped as Kisame entered him in a single thrust.
"Nngh…Itachi…" the man grunted, plunging in and out, the Uchiha going wild with the sensation of having him in him.
"K-kisa—aaah!"
They cleaned up, and ate in silence.
"Well, Itachi-san," Kisame murmured, "You definitely did know how to turn my day around."
Itachi glared at him. "Don't push it," he said, turning away, and if the blue skinned man hadn't known better, he could've sworn he saw roses blooming on those pale cheeks.
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Is it just me, or are yaoii lemons getting harder and harder to write?