"Do you know what it feels like to be in love, Tsubasa-chan?"
She smiled upon hearing that question. Everything that happened during the past year suddenly came back to her. When this even start? She really can't tell. All she knows is the how certain she is for the love that she has for that orange-haired girl.
"Of course.." Tsubasa pat Honoka's head. "Why did you ask?"
Honoka twirled her hair the way Maki did and tried looking away from the brunette. "I just... We were trying to compose a love song for Love Live and--" she gasped as she suddenly put her hand in her mouth. "Crap! I shouldn't have told you that." the clumsy orangehead gave off her signature playful smile, making Tsubasa's heart pound harder than ever.
"Hmm, why not ask your seniors about that?" she asked straightforwardly.
"I did. They told me everything they know.." Honoka looked at the blue skies which, Tsubasa thought, resembled the beauty of her blue orbs. "I just can't understand no matter how many times they explain..."
"Unbelievable", the brunette whispered to herself. As much as she enjoyed looking at Honoka's troubled face, she decided that she must help the orangehead surpass her dilemma.
Tsubasa crossed her arms and looked at the other intensely. "Would you want me to tell you?" she asked in a serious voice. Honoka's face lit up and nodded in agreement.
"Love is indeed complicated, and I really understand that you can't have fully grasp it. You are finding a hard time in understanding it simply because.." the brunette gulped before continuing. "You haven't felt it yet."
Honoka looked astonished by Tsubasa's words. "If I were to summarize everything based on my experiences, I would only reach two answers."
Tsubasa took a deep breath as she looked at the smiling orangehead in front of her. "Faling in love can make you feel good, especially when you see the person you love smile, even though that person isn't smiling because of you."
The brunette is known for being the cool type of person who bottles up her emotions inside her. However, she can't control it when it comes to Honoka. She hated how nervous she becomes or how restless her heart gets whenever she sees her. Even merely thinking about that orange haired girl sends endless butterflies to her stomach.
"Also, love can be terribly painful. It hurts when the person you love does not reciprocate your feelings."
After uttering that, it crossed her mind how impossible it was to get Honoka to love her. Seeing her with other people hurts Tsubasa, but she knows that she has no right to feel jealous. Although she often thought about confessing to her, she just can't make herself do it for she is afraid to get rejected.
The orangehead snapped her fingers, making Tsubasa come back to her senses. "Thank you for that, Tsubasa-chan! I'll make sure to keep those in mind." she giggled. The brunette replied with a forced smile.
"I'll be going then, I'll contact you if I still have questions!" Honoka waved at her.
Time stood still for Tsubasa as she unconciously grabbed Honoka's hand. She clenched her fist before saying anything to the girl in front of her.
Can she...really do this?
"I..." her voice trailed off, leaving Honoka anticipated.
She felt the sweating of her palm and and rapid beating of her heart. After failing to to calm herself down, Tsubasa cleared her throat. "I have something to tell you."
"What is it?" Honoka asked curiously.
"I..." she looked away from the blue orbs that are staring at her. "I'm looking forward to hearing your new song for Love Live." she said in a regretful tone, as she let go of the other's hand.
Tsubasa saw the brightest smile she's ever seen in her entire life. "Yes, I can't wait to let you hear it!" Honoka bid her final goodbye then walked away.
She looked at her hand while remembering the opportunity that she had just lost. She tried, but she just can't make herself say it.
That day, she decided to continue loving Honoka. But only from afar.