A/N: This is my first Transformers fic ever, so I'm sorry if anyone's OOC. There are spoilers for Episode 23: One Shall Fall, so be weary of that US of A inhabitants, because it hasn't aired yet here. It did in Canada though and now we're all waiting for the next part. Talk about a huge aft cliffhanger. :P So, please don't flame me for how atrocious this fic may be, I tried and I'm easing myself into it. Anyway, enjoy if you can.
He didn't know what hurt more at the moment: the terrible burning feeling that ran through his circuitry or seeing Raf's prone figure on the gurney. Bumblebee quickly decided on the latter. Both of them had been hit by Megatron's Dark Energon, but Raf came out much worse than Bee. The yellow mech watched sadly as Ratchet and Mrs. Darby worked frantically on his friend.
Pushing his own pain away, his optics rested on Raf. It was his fault Raf was on the verge of death. If he had avoided that devastating blow, none of this would have happened. It would have been so simple too, even Megatron mocked him.
"Well, it looks like I've swatted a bee and squashed a bug." Megatron had taunted with a laugh.
Oh, he had been so incredibly mad at the Decepticon leader. Screw ripping out his voice modulator, hurting his human was crossing the line.
"Primus, damn it, why did this have to fragging happen?" Bumblebee cursed as he slammed a fist into the concrete wall of the missile base. Arcee's optics were trained on him, shock and empathy reflecting across her optics. She had never seen the scout so distressed in her life, minus Tyger Pax. The uncharacteristic display of anger was disconcerting to say the least.
"Bee, listen!" she said sternly, grabbing his wrists in her servos, "You think I don't know how it feels to watch a partner…" she struggled to find the right word for less than a nanosec before continuing, "harmed. Revenge won't help Raf right now. You need to keep your emotions in check." Yes, she had to admit that she came across as harsh, but Bee had to understand, truly understand, what he had taught her not too long ago. Bumblebee couldn't submit to his anger and hatred towards Megatron; it just wasn't their way of life…and he'd be slagged in an instant in his condition. But Arcee didn't understand who Bumblebee was cursing.
Bumblebee was cursing himself. She had misinterpreted.
Primus, how could he have been so stupid and careless? He should have sensed Megatron coming in behind him! He was a Primus-damned scout! It was his job to know that sort of stuff! Bumblebee ignored Arcee's concerned gaze, continuing to mentally berate himself.
"I'm a complete failure..." he beeped softly, the "whisper" missed by everyone in the base. He should have been more alert, more prepared, everything! Why wasn't anyone else angry at him? They should be furious that their friend was hurt on his watch! They should reject him as a friend and guardian! They should never forgive him…at least it would make him feel less guilty. Ratchet, June, Arcee, Jack, and Miko were giving it their all to save Raf and what was he doing? Absolutely nothing…he couldn't even allow his optics to take in that prone, pale figure lying on the gurney.
It was all his fault Raf was hurt, dying even. He was the only one to blame for this predicament (and Megatron...the slagger) and he would take full responsibility for it. Bee tensed as a wave of pain shot through his systems, masking it by covering his head with his servos.
Primus, why Raf? What has Raf ever done to anyone? Bumblebee off-lined his optics briefly out of both physical and emotional pain, all the while blaming himself for everything. At that moment in time, Bee completely loathed his existence. It seemed like the universe was trying to tell him of how utterly useless he was. Normally, he did have very low self-esteem, but now, it had hit rock bottom.
All of his emotions were in a huge whir of activity, there goes trying to keep his emotions in check. Primus, if he could take it all back, he would. He'd rather be going into spark-shock if it meant Raf was safe. He'd off-line in exchange for his friend's revival. At least then, the guilt wouldn't be nearly as painful or hard to control. But no matter how hard he tried, the guilt was so strong, pounding his mentality into the ground, his self-confidence, everything. There was absolutely no way Bumblebee could live with himself now.
The rest of his silent torture ended when he heard Ratchet shout out.
"I need energon!" the medic yelled. Immediately, Bumblebee jumped up and strode towards the medic. He stuck out a servo and nodded.
"Take it from me, it's my fault he's in this mess and I want to get him out of it." the scout beeped with a determined faceplate to match.
"Bumblebee, you're still weak from the attack. I don't think I want you-"
"Ratchet, there's no time to argue!" Bee cut in, "My best friend is dying because of a stupid mistake I made. I can handle a small energon loss, so just do it and save him! Please! We don't have any time to waste!"
"Very well," Ratchet answered incredibly reluctantly. While Bee was weak, Raf needed that energon and the scout, determined as he was, wouldn't have him take it from anyone else. "Now hold still." The medic quickly inserted the needle into Bumblebee's main energon line in his servo. He bit back the pain he felt from the procedure. The Dark Energon made his pain receptors stand on-edge, so any type of physical assault hurt. Punching the wall had hurt like the Pit...maybe it wasn't such a good idea to take it out on concrete. Next time, Bumblebee mused, he'd use a pillow or something else that was just as soft.
Suddenly, Ratchet withdrew the needle and inserted the now filled energon vile into the device. Bumblebee watched as Jack and his mom wheeled Raf into one of the specialized Med-bay rooms, ironically the same one he had been shut down in when Megatron took over his mind. He bit back a click as he remembered Raf trying to get him to listen to reason, telling him to fight off Megatron. He had tried so hard, but came short. Why could Megatron make him suffer in his own mind? Bumblebee shook the thought from his processor as Ratchet started the machine.
A bright light flashed, temporarily blinding both Autobots and humans. When the glass doors whisked open again, Bee quickly made his way towards his friend. Apprehension ran through his body alongside the pain as Bee watched Raf for any kind of movement. One nanosec, two nanosecs, three nanosecs...Bumblebee kept counting, silently willing his friend to wake.
Twelve nanosecs, thirteen nanosecs, fourteen nanosecs...
There was a twitch.
Eighteen nanosecs, nineteen nanosecs, twenty nanosecs...
Raf finally opened his eyes.
"Bee?" the child rasped out. Said Autobot gave the boy a smile. Bumblebee was about to beep out in absolute glee, but backed up, optics wide. None of the humans (or Ratchet seemed to notice), but Arcee did. She was about to move towards her partner until Ratchet's desperate voice made its way to her audio receptors.
"We need to get Optimus out of there now!" he said, panic lacing his tone. Every Autobot was on edge, ready for the medic to open the ground bridge.
It was then that Bumblebee doubled over in pain.
Bumblebee could barely make out what the voices around him were saying. All he could focus on was the pain, the overwhelming happiness, self-loathing, and the need to help his leader. His processor hurt terribly as his optics made everything a giant blur. He could feel his energy drain as the residual Dark Energon coursed through his circuits, supercharging and destroying the less durable ones in an instant.
"-knew you shouldn't have done that." Ratchet, that voice was definitely Ratchet's. Pain wracked the scout's frame, Dark Energon progressing through his circuits, just burning, tearing apart wiring, making him writhe in agony…
"Bee! What's wrong?" the small, weak voice of Raf called out. Bumblebee almost let out a laugh; his friend was more concerned about how the Autobot was doing rather than his own near-death experience. The only reason he didn't laugh was due to another wave of pain passing through his body. His optics off-lined as warnings popped into his processor, all pointing towards one conclusion: stasis.
"Bee, listen to my voice and stay with me." Arcee said, trying her best to prop her fallen comrade up. Ratchet's servos were furiously looking for equipment to help the scout, searching through various drawers for something of use. Maybe I shouldn't have kept all that broken equipment that I said I needed every time someone broke something of mine… he thought.
Bumblebee tried to grasp to consciousness, but every time he maintained a hold, pain ripped him so cruelly away. He was getting exhausted, and fast. There was no way he could prevent stasis any longer. As his body became limp in Arcee's servos, she quietly cursed.
"Ratchet, I'm losing him! Hurry the frag up!" she shouted, unsuccessfully masking the panic in her voice. Almost losing one friend was enough; she didn't need to make it two in one day. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't block the memories of the aftermath at Tyger Pax. Bee seemed so vulnerable, so weak, and she wouldn't let it happen again.
"I'm doing the best I can Arcee! I don't want this to happen any more than you do! I shouldn't have let him donate his energon…he was too weak for it." Ratchet replied, voice growing softer as he continued, "His body was barely fighting off the Dark Energon inside him. Right now, we need more energon, just something to keep his strength up and to keep him awake. "
"What were you looking for?"
"You're not going to like it, but a vial of synthetic energon. In this case, it would help Bumblebee more than hinder him. But I can't seem to find it and I have no time to make more."
"No…We nearly lost Raf today and I'm not going to lose Bumblebee."
"I'm sorry Arcee…and Bumblebee." Bee stiffened and let out a low wail of agony. The pain was just unbearable now as well as the other side-effects. He felt dizzy, groggy, and had the largest processor-ache that Cybertron (and Earth) had ever seen.
"I'm not giving up on him." Arcee said, determination reflecting in her optics, "I'll help you find, or make, more of the synthetic energon. Can't you get Bee stable in stasis?"
"I…yes," Ratchet said, nodding reluctantly, "it won't be easy and the risks are high, but I may be able to. I just need to get the equipment set up. Bumblebee, stay awake for a few more kliks, you can…recharge soon." The medic knew using the term "recharge" was a lie, but it wasn't for Bumblebee. It was for himself, reassurance that, once Bumblebee went into stasis, he would wake up afterwards. He was going to make sure the scout would wake and nothing was going to stop him.
But Bumblebee couldn't hold on any longer; he didn't have the energy, except for one last message before stasis.
"I have…no regrets. If it…were to happen…again…I'd…do it again. I…would trade my life…for Raf's. That's all there is…best friends." Bumblebee managed to beep. The last things he saw were a frantic Ratchet, an emotionally conflicted Arcee, Bulkhead with worry and fear clear within optics, Jack and Miko who were looking at him with a bit more respect than usual, June with a sympathetic expression on her face, and Raf, looking wide-eyed at him. Although the boy wasn't saying a word, his eyes gave away everything. Bee beeped a small "you're welcome" before slipping into stasis, away from the pain but ever-closer to the guilt. At least now he knew that Raf was alive and he was the one who saved him. While it didn't do much to help him, it eased the guilt a bit, making the trap that was his mind more bearable than the pain he endured while conscious.
As the scout finally fell into stasis, a silence filled the base. That is, until Bulkhead spoke.
"You know, you've got to admit it guys: Bumblebee just sounded a whole heck of a lot like Optimus. It's kind of…scary."
The silence he got in return was all the confirmation he needed.