It was a day of darkness and utter ruin in the once glorious Mushroom Kingdom. Storm clouds sent down bolts of thunder BECAUSE
there was no tomorrow, not "as if" there were no tomorrow. This was a day that would last forever in a neverending loop
of time, all because Mario had the bright idea to tame a cat. Hard to believe, but, yeah.
THIS IS JUST TERRIBLE!
Fungus Jungle:
"Heya, Luigi, can you come over here and help me?" asked Mario, who was wearing a safari outfit.
"Yes, I will, Mario. Just as soon as you can remind me why we're out here in the first place" replied Luigi, who was
getting bitten by bugs.
"We're out here to look for Yoshi, remember? He got lost in this area somewhere" said Mario.
"Mario, did you bring your cousins insecticide? Because I could use it! Ow-ow-ow! We are plumbers, not Lewis and Clark" replied Luigi.
"Come on Luigi, show some fighting spirit, we're putting ourselves out on the front lines, man against the elements!" said Mario.
Mario did as Luigi suggested and pulled out some bug killer, spraying the fleas and venemous spiders to get them away from his brother. Luigi brushed off his pants.
"There, I took care of that little problem. Now, Luigi, we can't be too far from Yoshi, according to my GPS there is a green dot right down the road to the north of here" said Mario.
"Oh, a green dot. Thank goodness Mario, you found a green dot. Can we please go home now?" asked Luigi. Mario shook his head.
"Peach's orders. We don't find Yoshi, we don't-a get to try her delicious new spagetti recipe" said Mario. Luigi hesitantly agreed to continue the mission, and
they headed down the long narrow path, eventually reaching a dead end.
"The green dot on my GPS. It's-a gone!" shrieked Mario.
"Perhaps Princess Peach would listen to my speech if I gave her a good one, eh, Mario?" asked Luigi.
"I don't think you're going to be giving any speech to Peach. Look, Luigi!" said Mario, pointing his index finger at a large formidable frothing beast. It was a big black Jaguar.
"You suppose that-a thing ate Yoshi?" asked Luigi.
"I'm not waiting to find out, taller little brother! Hurry, bash that block in the air" ordered Mario, his teeth relentlessly gnashing against his fingernails with nerves of fright.
"But Mario, it could be a poison mushroom. And that green dot, it might have been me cutting ahead of you!" suggested Luigi. Mario's eyes widened.
"Luigi, this is life or death! Doesn't really matter, make something happen!" said Mario.
"We should keep it and name it Atari!" said Luigi. Mario groaned.
"NO!" yelled Mario. "Bash that block you goomba brain!"
Luigi lept into the air and bashed the {?} block. A feather came down. Luigi used the feathers magic to grow a cape.
Then Luigi spun around using the cape, while Mario got a good running start and proceeded to grab onto Luigi's shoes, as they took off into the sky, to escape the cat.
Later:
As Luigi soared through the skies like Superman and Mario clung to his shoes dangling for dear life, low and behold a Magikoopa began blasting beams of light at
the brothers from down below. One of the blasts hit Luigi, and his cape was reduced to cinders. Mario and Luigi fell to the ground.
PLOP!
What would become of the Super Mario Brothers? Who knows. We'll get back to it.
Meanwhile, here's what's going on at Bowser's Castle:
"Hey, King Bowser Koop Meister, what the heck are you doing? You've been staring at that screen for hours all day" said Mouser.
"This is really good, yeah, this is good stuff," said Bowser, guzzling Chuckola Cola, and continuing to stare at the screen, controller in hand.
"What the heck? Bowser! What are you doing?" Mouser demanded.
"I'm playing Action 52. You oughta try it! Come, have a seat next to me, partner in crime" said Bowser, his eyes blood red. Mouser turned off the MES (Mushroom Entertainment System), and threw it at the wall, breaking it into a hundred pieces.
"Never, ever go anywhere Action 52 again. That game is giving you seizures, bro!" said Mouser.
"Hey! Darn you, Mouser! Next to my divine reptillian birthright, that game is what inspired my entire royal Koopa career! Got me into politics. Been playing it since I was hatched!" said Bowser.
"Now you REALLY have me worried. That is most disconcerting!" replied Mouser.
"I'll smash and claw you into a hundred pieces like what you did to that game machine. How's THAT for disconcerting?" said Bowser, who began approaching Mouser, stomping up to him
like Godzilla.
"Uhh, I'll rebuild it. Buy you a new one. I know a really good game machine repairman" said Mouser.
"You've HAD it, Mouser. It's curtains for ya. When are you gonna learn to bow to the Bow man?" said Bowser.
"Chillax, King Koopster. I've got the newest issue of Ravishing Reptile Weekly. And some beef jerky? A jar of peanut butter?" asked Mouser.
"Time to meet your moronic mushroom brained mousey maker, you little rat!" said Bowser. But just as Bowser was about to set flame to Mouser, Wendy walked in. Poised to murder Mouser, Bowser had not anticipated his daughter entering the room.
"I come in here with all my vanity to set up my lava pool, and you're playing games...with Mouser" said Wendy, her arms folded, her spiked heels stomping the floor.
"Uhh, listen Sugar scales, I wasn't about to hurt Mouser, if that's what you're thinking" said Bowser.
"I don't give a koopa poopa about Mouser!" said Wendy.
"Oh, I thought you did. Never mind!" said Bowser. Mouser held up the only thing that was still in-tact from the game system. The Action 52 cartridge. He shoved it right in Bowser's face.
Bowser's eyes lit up when he saw the cartridge.
"Must...kidnap...a princess!" Bowser repeated to himself, walking out of the room like a zombie with his arms stretched out in front of him.
"Woah, that really is some good stuff. It's like the Catcher in the Rye of home entertainment. Never trust imported games from the real world I guess!" sighed Mouser. Wendy put her palm over her eyes.
"Why am I stuck in a room...with you?" asked Wendy.
"Uhh, I'll leave right now!" said Mouser. Then Wendy stopped him in his tracks.
"You, me, the game. We're gonna put it back together and play it!" said Wendy.
"Why?" asked Mouser.
"I..DON'T KNOW!" said Wendy.
"Oh, would ya look at that? Our battles against the Mushroom Kingdom have all been for nothing! Mario's war has been for nothing, too!" said Mouser, pointing to a note attached to the game Action 52.
"TO KING KOOPA, WITH SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES, LOVE PRINCESS TOADSTOOl...PEACH!"
"So when we thought Peach attacked the Koopa Embassy in the Forest of Illusion that was all done by both Bowser...AND PEACH?" yelled Wendy.
"Don't tell yer pops that we saw this!" said Mouser.
"Poor Mario. I could just claw his eyes out so many times" said Wendy.
"Then what would you do?" asked Mouser. Wendy stretched out her long polished nails, blowing on them and flexing them.
"Oh, I'd give him a kiss" said Wendy. Just then Fawful entered the room.
"My ears absorbed the not so succulent sounds of ruckus. Anyway, if you must have truth, I gave King Koopa that game!" said Fawful.
"You did? Why does it say it was from Peach?" asked Mouser.
"That was all part of the plan. I'll explain later. I feel asleep as of now" said Fawful.
"What do you mean you feel asleep?" said Mouser.
To be continued...