A/N: This is for my little Kasutei-chan, the only person who'll ever understand why this fic was written. Oh...I nearly completed KH's 2 today. I can't beleive I've still not finished it...urgh...Anyway, I can't beleive how it took me but I've figured out that Axel's voice is also Reno's voice!! KYAAAA! Why is Reno just so awesome? They should make a game with the red-headed Turk as the main character!

Summary: Zack has a question he needs to ask Sephiroth…..

The Greatest Mystery of Sephiroth

It was a genuine question really, and he had been wondering for years. Ever since Zack had laid eyes on the elegant, strong build, muscular General the question had been there and he had to force himself not to let it control him. The only thing that had stopped the rather impudent query, was fear. He had been practically paralyzed as Sephiroth looked down at him, as though inwardly smirking.

To be honest, Zack had wondered how it never came up in conversation. It wasn't as, by the silver haired beauty's posture, he didn't flaunt his nature grace and elegance…among other things. There were worse questions he could have asked, for example "Is all your hair silver?" and "Why do you carry a sword as long as you are high? Don't you know the implications?" but Zack thought, instead of stuttering over an explanation, it was easier to keep quiet. And with these last thoughts, Zack forgot about it. For months it plagued him, yet somehow he managed to forget, until he sat in the van on the way to Nibelheim.

Sephiroth sat at one side of the van, looking down his nose at the two infantrymen at the far end of the vehicle and occasionally glancing up to glare at Zack when he felt his eyes on him. Zack blushed whenever he was caught out and looked at the floor. He thought he heard a deep throated chuckle from the silver haired fiend. Sephiroth's long black leather coat gaped open revealing a tight six pack and what Zack decided wasn't a love bite. It was at that moment, Zack remembered the pressing and important matter which had leaked from his head several months ago. Perhaps it was the monotony of the ride or perhaps his mind felt that it'd dragged out the suffering of his curiosity long enough, but Zack's brain told him to ask. Suddenly, in the stuffy motor, with nought but the noise of stones hitting the side, the jostling of the truck and the stench of sweat, Sephiroth's "wrath" didn't seem so bad. Okay, he decided, I'm going to ask him.

"Hey, Sephiroth, sir, why have you shaved off your chest hair?"

The two infantryman lifted their gaze from the floor and looked at each other in shock. Was he allowed to ask that? The general slowly lifted his mako drenched eyes up and captured Zack's nervous ones, the smaller man laughed nervously.

"What was that Soldier?" he replied casually with a hint of menace. He was offering him a second chance. A chance to redeem himself from a fatal mistake.

"How come you've got no chest hair?"

Bzzzt. Wrong. Sephiroth fought a smirk, the corners of his lips curled and Zack knew he was in trouble.

Perhaps Sephiroth HAS shaved it off. Was that why he was so defending? Was there a difference between silver and grey? Was it embarrassing for Sephiroth to have grey chest hair? Was he that old that he, instead of losing hair on his head, the make caused him to lose it elsewhere?

Sephiroth sat in the Shinra mansion, browsing books and talking mysterious nonsense to Zack as he flicked casually through the pages. He began a speech on how he was going to return with his "mother" to the cosmos and Zack really couldn't help himself. Perhaps if he slipped the question in?

"So…uh..does mako make you lose hair down there too?"

It was no wonder Sephiroth wanted to kill him.

A/N Don't. Even. Ask. XD