I have always wanted to try this. So I'm going to. However I'm kinda busy with school and other fanfics and crap, so this will be more of a side fic. But I'm determined to see it to the end! I am! RAWR!
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. All rights go to J K Rowling. And not me. Wah.
You've reached Harry. I'm obviously not here right now, so leave me a message and I'll get back to you. -beep-
First new message: Hey, Harry. It's Ron. Hermione had some muggle pill - arousal, I think? Anyway, now she's chasing me in her underwear with a whip and she just won't stop! What do I do?!? -beep-
Second new message: Harry, it's Hermione. I'm trying to find Ronnie-kins, but he seems to be hiding from me! -high pitched giggle- If you know where he is, you'd better tell me before I get angry! Hee hee hee- -beep- Message deleted.
Third new message: Hey, mate, it's Ron again. I'm hiding in a broom cupboard, but she's beating the door down. Help! -beep-
Fourth new message: Hi, Harry. It's Ginny. Listen, I can't find Ron anywhere. Do you know where he is? Love ya, call me back. -beep-
Fifth new message: She got in! Pick up your phone! Pick up your phone, mate, I - oh God. Is that a hacksaw? Augh! Get away from me! Get away!!! HARRY, HEL -beep-
Sixth new message: Hi, Harry. Hagrid here. Listen, the skrewts are gettin' outta control down 'ere, so I was wundrin if you could - OW - if you could come down 'ere and help me. Thanks! -beep- Message deleted.
Seventh new message: Hello, foolish Potter boy. It's Lord Voldemort, haunting you from beyond the grave! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA -cough- HAHAHA!!! I shall kill you, Harry Potter! I shall! You shall die a most painful death at the hands of ME, LORD VOLDEMO -beep- Message deleted.
Eighth new message: Harry, it's Ginny. I was walking past a broom cupboard and could swear I heard Ron screaming, but the door was locked and Alohamora won't work. I tried to find Hermione 'cause she's good at undoing these kind of spells, but I couldn't find her anywhere either. Call me back. -beep-
Ninth new message: Hey, mate... she got me... oh, I ache... listen, she did some pretty nasty stuff to me, and I don't mean the good kinda nasty... Ow, my arm... listen, I'm tied up in the cupboard. You gotta help me... Ow, that stings... while you're at it, could you check me into St. Mungo's? Thanks, Harry... Oh, no, she's coming back! Hurry, mate, hurry! -beep-
So how was it? Good? Bad? Vomit-worthy? Review!