Disclaimer, Disclaimer! I am merely playing checkers on J. K. Rowling's chess board.
Neckties
N) Fourth year Hermione Granger had had enough! She and Draco Malfoy stood ten paces away from each other in an abandoned Hogwarts corridor. Behind him: Crabbe and Goyle. Behind her: Harry and Ron.
Hermione clutched her wand, trying not to do magic as that would get her into trouble. "Shove off, Malfoy. Or do I have to punch you again?"
Draco growled, slinging a curse which Hermione managed to dodge. (The curse instead hit Ron.) Hermione let out an infuriated cry.
"Constrictari!" She screeched, sending a twisting jet towards Draco.
The boy's eyes widened and he managed one gasp of air before his necktie began to tighten around his neck. His pale face turned red, then purple, before he passed out, collapsing to the hallway floor. Only then did the necktie loosen.
Hermione, Harry, and Ron laughed as they turned around and made their way down to lunch.
E) It was simple, Draco Malfoy loved neckties. He loved the feel, the look, the professionalism of wearing them. He'd always been told that a necktie could make or break an outfit, and he believed it.
When he entered Hogwarts, he had three neckties. By fourth year, his collection had grown to fifteen. This year, he was Head Boy, and as such, he wore a tie nearly every day, even if only loosely tied around his neck. So saying, his collection had grown to 37. And counting. Down.
Yes, indeed… September, 37; October, 36; November, 31; December, 25; and now, January, only eighteen remained. Very perplexing!
His ties also had the odd habit of disappearing in an unorganized pattern. One tie one week, none for a while, then four in four days. Morning, afternoon, night. It made no sense, and vexed Draco—who was a very organized person.
One thing, however, was certain. Draco Malfoy was going to recover his tie collection by the end of the year if it was the last thing he did!
C) Hermione Granger loved neckties and always had. Her earliest memory was of her father letting her choose the tie he'd wear on any given day. When she'd found out she got to wear a tie as part of her Hogwarts uniform—happy day indeed. She even judged people by their ties.
And that was why she noticed the attractiveness of Head Boy Draco Malfoy. He almost always wore a tie, and she found it a turn on. Yes, it pained her to admit it, but Hermione had a necktie fetish.
K) Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger—two unlikely people who had become friends via Order missions during the war—were Head Boy and Girl. Currently, they were lounging across the sofa.
Draco was playing absentmindedly with the ends of Hermione's curls and he suddenly spoke, "I'm afraid of walking in on you undressed."
Hermione's eyebrows shot up, "What is the world?"
"So I think that if we're not decent or don't want visitors, we should hang up our ties on our doorknobs. That way, it will all work out much smoother," he had already removed his robes and now loosened his tie.
Hermione noticed, untying her own tie and tying it around her head like a head band. "Sounds good." She stretched her arms above her head, yawning. She stood, "Good night," and disappeared into her bedroom. Draco watched the tie hang from her doorknob.
-
Three weeks later, Hermione burst into the Heads common room. Ron had just called her a "mudblood bitch" and Hermione was extremely upset. Ignoring the tie hanging from the doorknob, she burst into Draco's room. "Dray!"
Draco spun around. He was wearing only a pair of boxers, but seeing Hermione's tears, he rushed to her, crushing her to his chest, "What's the matter, 'Mione?"
Hermione sobbed the whole story into Draco's chest as they sat on his bed. Finally, Hermione noticed Draco's attire and she blushed, letting her eyes roam.
Great, another reason for her to love neckties…
T) "Draco…" Hermione groaned against his lips, running her hands over his broad shoulders. They bumped against the wall, and she whimpered. His hand flew to slide between the back of her head and the rough wall.
His lips started across her cheek, down her neck… He found the knot of her tie and loosened it, taking the limp piece of fabric and tossing it towards his bedroom. Pulling away, he whispered, "I'm adding that to my collection. Maybe I'll wear it one day, and you can wear mine, and we'll confuse Potty and Weasel."
Hermione giggled, grabbing her boyfriend's tie. With a yank, it was on the floor as she fumbled with the buttons at his collar.
Ten minutes later, they cuddled on the couch. Draco wrapped his arms around her waist, playing with the hem of her shirt, "'Mione, do you know where my tie went? I've already lost one this week."
Hermione shrugged, closing her eyes, "I'll find it later."
I) Draco and Hermione entered Potions class just before the late bell rang. They took their usual seats at the back table, and Snape raised his eyebrows at Draco.
Draco raised his hand to his neck, confused, understanding when he felt the emptiness of his necktie-less collar. "Crap!"
Hermione turned a questioning glance to her boyfriend and immediately noticed the problem, blushing heavily. She checked for her own Gryffindor tie, found it in place, and sighed. Then, she reached into her book bag and extracted one of Draco's ties. Grinning, she handed it to him with a sweet smile.
Draco quickly tied the tie in place, kissing his girlfriend on the cheek before turning back to his cauldron.
E) Draco slipped into his wife's bathroom. She was standing in a short, gray silk robe, doing her hair—which was arranged in elegant curls. "Hermione, darling, have you seen my tie?"
Hermione pressed a kiss to his cheek, "Did you check under the bed?" He nodded. "In the kitchen?" Another nod. "Behind the sofa? In the bathroom? Under the dining room table?" She furrowed her brows. "You have over 100 ties, how did you get down to just one in the first place?"
"You tell me, Babe," Draco chuckled, curling his arms around her waist and kissing her neck.
Hermione laughed and blushed. "Right." She turned in his grasp, looped her arms around his neck, and whispered, "All your ties are on a rack in my closet. Whenever I find one, I keep it. You can grab one of those." She kissed Draco again.
Draco chuckled and slipped back out of the bathroom to his wife's closet. There hung all 100 of his ties, plus 36 of the ties that he thought he'd lost at Hogwarts. He chuckled; leave it to Hermione to be a necktie pack rat…
S) Draco was busy at his Wizards' Law Office when Ginny burst into his office. He looked up, "What's the matter, Red?"
Ginny ran a hand through her short hair, "Hermione went into labor! She refuses to have the baby until you're at her side, which is not healthy!" She threw Floo into the fireplace, disappearing just in front of Draco.
Draco burst into his wife's room, "Hermione!" He bent over her and pecked her sweaty forehead. She grabbed his hand, squeezing as the pain mounted.
Many hours later, Draco was exhausted; he didn't know how Hermione was managing. He smoothed her hair, caressed her hand, and murmured, "Shsh, love, shsh; it'll all be over soon! I love you!"
"One more, Mrs. Malfoy!" The healer exclaimed.
Hermione screamed in agony, grabbing Draco's tie with one hand. "Damn you, Draco Lucius Malfoy, for doing this to me! We—are—never—having—sex—again!" She collapsed as a cry filled the room.
Draco looked at the beautiful baby girl being cared for by the Healer. He crawled into bed beside his gorgeous wife and cradled her against him. "You're perfect, I love you so much!" He kissed her as she fell asleep, nuzzling against him.
A few minutes later, the Healer returned and handed Draco the baby. Hermione woke up and smiled at Draco, kissing him softly, "I love you, Draco! Oh, she's beautiful!"
Draco smiled, and the Healer cleared her throat, "What do you want to name her?"
Hermione beamed, wiping a strand of hair back, "Jane Narcissa Malfoy." She kissed her daughter's forehead and settled into her husband's arms.
Draco loosened his tie. He had the perfect wife, a brand new daughter sleeping peacefully, and a designer tie. What more could he ask for?