Gilmore Girls: Hay Bale Maze: My Version
Disclaimer: I do not own anything Gilmore
I wrote this before the actual episode, but I read that Luke and Lorelei confronted with their apologies in the maze and that Logan came to Stars Hollow. I also used quotes from the previews. It starts out slow, just jokes, like the Gilmore way, and builds up for a dramatic climax.
Everyone was in the town hall, talking and chatting.
"Taylor, why are we here?" asked Lorelei.
Everyone agreed and is soon screaming, "Yea! That's what I want to know!"
Babette screams, "I had to leave my sugas unattended so I could get here! And Morty's at work! What's the big deal?"
Taylor responded with: "Settle down everyone! I have found a fun and exciting way for us all to enjoy the money we raised last fall! You will absolutely love this, especially the children!"
Lorelei whispered to Sookie, "Like we all loved the rotten eggs from Easter!"
"I heard that Lorelei! The eggs were a mistake!" replied Taylor.
"Like that toupee on your head, Taylor? Just admit you're bald, you're the only one who hasn't!"
Everyone began to laugh.
"Nice one, Lor," said Miss Patty.
"Anyways, as I was saying, before I was rudely interrupted, I think you will actually like this one! Knowing how picky you are!"
"Just get on with it!" yelled Jackson.
Taylor, frustrated, said, "We will be having a giant hay bale maze across Stars Hollow!"
"WHAT?!?" everyone screamed. "Well what about the rest of the money?"
"Well, there is no more money," answered Taylor nervously.
"You mean you used all of our money on a hay maze?" questioned Babette.
Sookie said, "This is low, even for Taylor."
"It's lower than low- the lowest of the lowest. It's crazy!" Lorelei stated.
"People, please, think about the kids! Think about how much fun they will be having! Those kids in Maple County will be jealous for years! It's going to be a ba-"
"Shut up!" screamed someone as an apple core went flying through the air, hitting Taylor on the cheek, stunning him.
Fade out
Theme song
"Wow, punch in the cheek! That kid's got aim!" spoke Lorelei as she walked to Luke's with Rory by her side.
"I wish I had been there! And a hay bale maze? What is Taylor thinking?" responded Rory as the entered the diner.
"I swear, he thinks he's cool. But I'm still not sure if he was a Mamma's boy or if he was raised by a pack of wolves. Luke, coffee, now!"
Luke sighed. "You're here? You were here three times in the last two hours!"
"And it never gets old! But really, Rory came to drop by, and we can't talk without our coffee!"
"Sure you can. You just move your jaw up and down while making vocal sounds!"
Rory said, "Doesn't work without the coffee! We need to clear our throats!"
"Oh! I just heard that on the radio this morning! 'Some of y'all might know this, and some of y'all don't. Some of y'all might be with this, and some of y'all won't.'" sang Lorelei. Rory started in.
"Come on Luke, join us!"
"Oh jeez. If I give you some coffee, would you shut up? You're scaring the customers," said Luke.
"Of course! Anything for my lover… coffee!... had you going there for a second, didn't I?" replied Lorelei.
"Wow, mom, you are really hyped up, maybe I should have your cup," stated Rory.
"Devil child! You shall never take me away from the beans of nature!"
Luke, while bringing over two cups of coffee, said, "Actually, this stuff is all artificial."
"No wonder I'm addicted. As I say, hell for the heart, heaven for the taste buds." Lorelei smiled.
Rory responded with: "Since when do you say that?"
"Since right now!" Lorelei giggled.
"Jeez, mom, sometimes I feel like we're in a comedy."
"Well, let's switch over to the drama. How are things with Logan?" asked Lorelei as she took a sip of her coffee. "Ah- hot! Luke, are you trying to kill me?"
"Wouldn't be so horrible if it were true!" joked Luke.
"Satin! Burning my tongue like that…"
Luke looked annoyed. "Would you want it to be cold?"
"Yes, give me an ice cube!" screamed Lorelei.
"Are you serious, Lor?" questioned Luke.
"Ice cube me captain!" Lorelei hollered, as Luke handed her a bucket of ice cubes. "That was very kind of you, Lucas, you are a gentleman!"
"What the hell is that?" screamed Luke, as he looked out the window.
"Yes mom that was very gentleman like."
"I thought so," said Lorelei as she took another sip of her coffee.
"No, I'm serious. Lorelei, Rory, look out the window! Its twenty tons of hay!" barked Luke. Tractors could be seen lowering stacks of hay into one large pile, covering up the diner to anyone walking by.
"It was Taylor's idea. Thought he'd give the kiddies some fun," replied Rory.
"Taylor's idea of fun is dropping stacks of hay through the sky?" screamed Luke.
"It's the hay bale maze, you should've come to the town meeting!" Lorelei said.
"You know I hate those things," grudged Luke as he walked out the door, where he saw Taylor, who was about ready to get pulverized.
"Oh, goody, let's watch the cat fight," stated Rory as she led Lorelei to the only piece of free window space left. They could see Luke screaming at Taylor, who just stood there, enjoying the tormenting.
"It's everywhere!" cried Luke.
"Well, that is the idea. It's a hay bale maze!" argued Taylor.
"Do you want a fist down your throat, Taylor?"
"Well, it sounds rather uncomfortable. I'm not sure I could do my job with a hand in that position. Do you even know if it would fit?" questioned Taylor.
"Let's just say you have a big mouth, mkay? But, we could always try it out…"
Taylor looked nervous. "Well, people seem to be getting antsy in the diner. You should get back to them."
Luke walked away while knocking over the stacks of hay.
Taylor hollered, "Now that was just childish!"
"Shut up!" barked Luke as he entered the diner.
"Way to go, Luke! The teddy bear's turning into the tough guy! See you later, Rory and I have catching up to do…" Lorelei said as she headed out the door with Rory.
"Did you pay?" hollered Luke.
"On the table!" answered Rory.
Commercial break
"Oh, mom, I forgot to mention that Logan will be here later today," said Rory as the two walked back to the Crap Shack.
"And why didn't you tell me this earlier?"
Rory answered, "Must have slipped my mind."
"Well, that's fine honey. He can join us in the Spring Fling festival. His first Stars Hollow Crazyfest, he'll love it!"
"Or something like that…" Rory and Lorelei walked up the driveway and noticed a Porsche waiting for them.
"Logan! You're here early!" screamed Rory as she went over to hug him.
Logan replied, "Yes, well, I was missing you, Ace. Hey Lorelei, long time, no see."
"Hello Logan, nice to see you. And to give you a head start, you're in for a hell of a weekend," said Lorelei.
"I noticed something strange. Does it by chance have anything to do with the thousand stacks of hay?"
Rory responded, "It's the Spring Fling festival! This year Taylor wasted our money on a Hay Bale Maze.
"Well that could be fun?" encouraged Logan.
"Its social suicide to say that," corrected Lorelei.
Rory replied, "She's right, no one's happy with it. A boy whipped an apple at Taylor."
"I guess it's not such a quite town after all."
Lorelei said, "And there's another town meeting tonight! Let's bring our pitchforks!"
Logan laughed and Rory kissed him.
"Let's go inside," said Lorelei. "We can get some refreshments and snacks."
"Okay, but no peanuts. I had the most horrible encounter with them on the plane ride. I will tell you inside," explained Logan.
"I can't wait," said Rory.
It is later that evening, and Rory, Logan, Lorelei, Luke, April, Sookie, Jackson, and the rest of Stars Hollow is in the town meeting room, with Taylor at the Podium.
"This is outrageous, Taylor!" someone screamed.
"Calm down, everyone, please, I told you all last night that we would be doing this for the spring bash," answered Taylor.
"It's taking over the whole town!" yelled Luke, and April agreed.
"Please, everyone, take a handful of chill pills. It's fun, right little Bobby?" Taylor looked down at the small kid.
"I can't play football with the hay here!" screeched Bobby.
"You're too small anyways," Taylor whispered to himself.
"You wrecked the poor kid's dream!" harassed Miss Patty.
"Calm down!"
"There is hay everywhere!" yelled Jackson.
"What do you mean?" asked Taylor.
Sookie shouted, "I think you know what we mean, Taylor!"
"Well, if that's the way you feel, than you don't have to come…" Taylor began to tear up.
Babette yelled, "We all know you've mastered fake crying, just like you've mastered how to ruin our weekends!"
"Well then, I hope to see you all there. The Spring Fling Carnival starts tomorrow at noon, sharp! Bring your maze skills! This meeting is over!" announced Taylor.
Everyone loaded out of the town hall and flooded the streets. Workers were still outside, setting up the maze for the next day.
"Well, Logan, you've just been struck by the Stars Hollow arrow," Rory said.
Lorelei replied, "Yes, as we like to say, you've been Gilmorized!"
"I had a good time," responded Logan.
"It's like a soap opera, right?" asked Lorelei.
"Most defiantly," answered Logan.
Lorelei said, "Let's get some coffee at Luke's and then head back to the house. Logan, you can stay in Rory's room. But this isn't a bed and breakfast! Keep your hands off my baby!"
"Mom!"
"Don't worry Lorelei, my hands are clean, and will stay that way. Maybe we should get some decaf? I will never get to sleep otherwise."
"EW! I take it back, you have NOT been Gilmorized!"
"Mom is right," responded Rory. "Decaf is absolutely revolting! If you wanted to a kill me, that'd be the way to do it!"
"I'll remember that," joked Logan as they walked towards Luke's.
Commercial break
It is the next morning, and everyone in Stars Hollow got up to attend the Spring Fling festival. The whole town is there: Lorelei, Rory, Logan, Sookie, Jackson, their children, Michel, Luke, April, Lane, Zach, their twins (yes, they had them!), Taylor (of course!), Miss Patty, Babette, Morty, and everyone else.
"I can't believe we are actually here at the maze!" exclaimed some parents to their kids.
"I do not see what is so fun about a thousand tons of straw from the cornfield, compressed into a cube," complained Michel.
"And that was Michel," said Lorelei introducing him to Logan. "Being blunt."
"It's…. what's the right word? Incredibly odd," said Rory.
"All I see is hay!" exclaimed Lorelei.
Miss Patty, Babette and Morty strolled over.
"And Logan, I think you have met Miss Patty," said Rory.
"Yes, I couldn't forget her," responded Logan.
"Oh yes! The sexy blonde boy you brought home a little while ago!" replied Miss Patty. She pinched his cheek and Rory giggled. "Rory Gilmore, you are one lucky girl."
"And Babette," said Rory.
"Hey Suga!" Babette exclaimed, while she pinched the other cheek.
Miss Patty walked away and Logan said, "Wow. You never told me I was a sexy blonde."
"I never told you you were a boy either; I thought it might ruin our relationship," joked Rory.
"Smart girl."
Lorelei and Sookie stood and looked at the maze.
"Insane," said Lorelei.
"Insane," repeated Sookie.
"Insane."
At that time, Lane and Zach wondered over to the couple, each carrying a twin in their arms.
"Lane!" exclaimed Rory. "Finally I get to see the babies!"
"This one is Chloe." Lane motioned to the one she was carrying. "And the one Zach is holding is Brandon."
"They're so precious!" said Lorelei. "Can I hold one?"
Lane gave a baby to Lorelei and Zach gave a baby to Rory. After a few moments they switched.
After giving the baby back, Lorelei said, "Well, it's off into the maze I go. Rory, good luck. Let the best woman win."
"I'll go with Logan," responded Rory.
"Oh yea, I want to go too! I will go with Zach this way," said Lane.
Everyone parted their separate ways, and Lorelei entered the maze alone. She wondered around for a while, twisting and turning until she came across Luke.
"Where's April?" Lorelei questioned.
"Oh, she stopped a ways back to talk to Rory and meet Lane's children," answered Luke.
"Oh. Hey, we really haven't gotten a chance to talk, you know, alone. And I have really been meaning to say that I am so sorry about how our relationship ended. I shouldn't have given you the ultimatum, and I shouldn't have run away from the one I loved. We could have talked, but I didn't want to," said Lorelei sorrowfully. She looked down.
"Hey, you didn't do anything wrong. I kept things from you; I waited two months before telling you about April. I didn't talk, we didn't share things. I pushed you away, and the wedding got put off. Sooner or later you would've gone to someone that wasn't afraid of opening up to you. And that man was Rory's father. I handled things badly, and I'm sorry for what I did. But I want you to know that I loved you." Luke looked very sympathetic.
"I loved you too," whispered Lorelei.
Luke gave her a hug and then said, "I've got to go find April. It was a nice talk." Luke left. Lorelei watched him go. She sat down on the ground, covered in straw. She put her face in her hands and began to weep. She missed Luke, but he no longer loved her. And so she sat there and cried.
Commercial break
"Do you hear something?" Sookie asked Jackson. Sookie looked around in the maze, and then spotted Lorelei on the floor, crying her eyes out.
Sookie ran over to Lorelei. "Honey, honey, what's wrong?"
"Sookie, I made a mistake. I love Luke, but I let him go. I gave him the ultimatum! I left him no choice but to say no! I love Luke…" Lorelei sobbed some more.
"Ah, honey, come on, let's get out of the maze…come on…" Sookie helped Lorelei up, who had a blotchy face now. Sookie looked around. "How do we get out of here?"
"Honey, I think we are lost," said Jackson.
Sookie screamed, "Can someone tell me how to get out of here?"
"Sookie, it's cheating to ask people how to get out of the maze," stated Taylor.
Annoyed Sookie yelled, "Shut up, Taylor!"
"Sookie, it's fine, we will just have to wonder around for a bit," replied Lorelei, who was still sniffling.
"No, it's not. Lorelei Gilmore, I will get you out of this." Sookie looked around once again and then, without thinking, knocked over a hay wall.
"You can't do that! That's cheating!" hollered Taylor.
Sookie looked Taylor stern in the eye and said, "I don't care."
Sookie walked into the next path, helping Lorelei, leaving Jackson behind. She hollered, "Is anyone behind this wall? It's coming down!" And Sookie knocked down the wall, and then another one, until they were out of the maze.
"He doesn't love me…" cried Lorelei. She sniffed again as Sookie helped her across the street, right in front of Luke's Diner. But what neither Lorelei, nor Sookie saw, was that Luke was in the diner, looking out at Lorelei. And because of an open window, Luke heard Lorelei's voice, and the sobs coming from it.
Sookie and Lorelei were in a convenient store now, Sookie looking frantically around for something.
"Ice cream! We need ice cream!! Can someone please get me the most chocolately, most sugery ice cream here! We need a sugar rush!" exclaimed Sookie. Lorelei laughed and cracked a smile.
Sookie went up to the counter, where Kirk was working.
"You know that this ice cream is pure sugar," stated Kirk.
"I know Kirk, just let me buy the ice cream!"
"It can give you clogged arteries, which will in turn give you a heart attack. I read it in a magazine."
"Just let me buy the damn ice cream!" yelled Sookie, who was frusterated beyond words.
Sookie paid for the ice cream, and left the store with her arm around Lorelei. Sookie gave Lorelei the ice cream and a plastic spoon that she bought as well. Lorelei began eating the ice cream as they walked along the paths to Lorelei's house, where Lorelei could relax, eat her ice cream and mope.
Lorelei was very grateful to have a friend like Sookie. Lorelei had no idea where Jackson was now, but she didn't care. Sookie and Lorelei walked more as Lorelei ate her ice cream. They passed people chatting, and kids playing in the maze that stared at Lorelei (who's face hadn't fully recovered from the weeping), but Lorelei didn't care. She had her best friend (besides Rory) by her side, and it put a smile across Lorelei's face.
Commercial break
Sookie and Lorelei were nearing Lorelei's house now, when Lorelei noticed something.
"Is that…" asked Sookie.
Lorelei dropped her spoon and her ice cream (which was half eaten now) onto the grass. There, standing on the front porch, was Luke, with a rose in his hand. Lorelei slowly walked up to Luke, wondering if this was a dream.
"Lorelei Gilmore" began Luke, "I love you, and it's been difficult on me the last few months. I never want to let you go again. And if you want to get married right now, I will. I said that I did love you, but that was a lie, because I never stopped loving you. When you walked into my diner fifteen years ago, I instantly new I loved you. Lorelei Gilmore, will you marry me?"
Lorelei put her arm around Luke and passionately kissed him on the lips. "Does that answer your question?"
End Credits