Halloween Party (or not) by Luvscharlie

Warnings: Language, voyeurism, sillyness

A/N: Originally written for the 2012 samhain_smut prompt fest on Live Journal where I chose not to use a given prompt. The requirements were more than 1000 words and nothing less than an R rating with smut included.

"Forget it, bonehead, we're not having a party." Bill rolled his eyes at his annoying little brother and stomped down the hall of Grimmauld Place towards the room that he'd claimed as his since the re-forming of the Order of the Phoenix. He was just about to shut the door and collapse, exhausted, upon his bed; he really should have known better. Charlie was nothing, if not tenacious… particularly if there was the promise of a party involved. He'd stopped in Sirius's room and got Sirius to join him in the Bill-badgering.

Bill hit his pillow, just as Sirius plopped down beside him making the mattress bounce. "Come on, Billy Boy—"

"Don't call me that. Only Mum gets by with calling me that," Bill snapped. "And she only gets by with it because she's my mum and I can't punch her. And she makes me biscuits."

Sirius was undeterred. "You prefer Billy Willy then?" He cocked his head to the side. "Ickle Billykins?"

Bill glared and crossed his arms over his chest. Now was the time to be firm. "We're not having a Halloween party. Having a Halloween party in one's super secret hideout is probably frowned upon even more than punching your mum." Bill nodded to add emphasis to his statement, not that he really felt any should be needed. Super secret hideout seemed rather self-explanatory. "Also, Dumbledore will hack off your balls if he finds out about it."

"So really, what you're saying is it's okay if Dumbledore doesn't know?" Sirius gave a perfunctory nod of his own. "See, Charlie, your brother doesn't have his pants on too tight to have any fun. He's really just a pansy arse who's afraid of an old man finding out that people still like to have fun."

Charlie started to nod, then his eyebrow arched inquisitively. "Wait. What?"

"You know," Sirius said, and winked conspiratorially.

Charlie grinned. "Oh, I get it. You're doing that thing you do when you talk and talk and talk until nobody really knows what you're saying so they just agree with you, right?"

Sirius groaned. "Really, the two of you are related?"

"Surprises me too," Bill said, but he couldn't help but smile. Charlie never had been one who could keep a secret, nor one to go along with any sort of scheme. He'd get them caught every time. "I've asked, but Mum swears he's not adopted."

Sirius gave Charlie a look over, tsking disapprovingly. "Well, he does have your mum's flat bum."

"Oh. My. God!" Charlie was mortified. "How fucking long were you in Azkaban, you lousy fuck? You've forgotten bloke code. You're not allowed—like EVER—to talk about a bloke's mum's bum. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Your mum know you talk like that?" Sirius asked.

Charlie looked worried, and his tone was one of quick back peddling. "Why? You don't plan to tell her, do you? She gets real mad about stuff like that, you know."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Boy, do I. She gets her knickers in a twist over every fucking little thing." He raised his voice so that it sounded like a pretty good imitation of Molly Weasley. "Dumbledore, Sirius nicked bread from the table before it was time to eat. Dumbledore, Sirius is drinking too much again. Dumbledore, Sirius left the seat up on the toilet—oh, and that one wasn't even me! It was your dad!"

Charlie nodded with sympathy. "I hear you. I moved to Romania to get away from it. Now she just sends Howlers about how she knows I didn't pick my socks up off the tent floor. How the fuck does she know that? I mean, she can't see me." He looked worried. "You don't think she can see me, do you? Cause, I gotta tell you, she's never wrong. It's scary, really."

Bill shrugged making Charlie even more uncomfortable. "How much trouble will you be in if she saw what goes on in your tent?"

Charlie moved nervously from one foot to the other. "Think Easter holidays, my fourth year, and multiply it by ten… at least."

"Whooo! You fuck! I can't believe all the fun you've been having while we've been trapped here in these headquarters listening to Snape drone on about bullshit." Bill was truly jealous.

"See," Charlie replied. "You do need a party!"

Bill grimaced. He hated to admit that Charlie might be right. Not, of course, right about divulging the whereabouts of their secret headquarters for a night of drinking and debauchery- yet each time he thought it, the less ludicrous it sounded. It was actually starting to sound enticing. He'd been without sex—or conversation that didn't ultimately end up in a 'did not', 'did too' battle of wills—for far too long. Still, he had to be responsible.

"We will not have a party. End of discussion." Also, being responsible sucked a cock. A great big, massive cock.

"I told you," Charlie said, looking at Sirius. "He's always like this. 'Killer of Fun' is his middle name."

Sirius shoved Bill over on the bed and used his wand to widen it, pulling Charlie down with a jerking motion. "Well, Charlie Boy," Sirius said, "it's your lucky day."

"No, it's not. My lucky day is Wednesday. This is Saturday."

Sirius sighed and tousled Charlie's hair. "Oh, sweet one, sometimes you just need to be quiet and pretty. Lucky for you, my middle name happens to be 'loads of fun'."

"Really? Bill said your middle name is Arcturus. Which, by the way, was not cool of your mum. Not cool at all." Charlie's voice was sympathetic.

Sirius patted Charlie's stubbled cheek. "Really, it's a blessing that you're pretty, darling. That's not my middle name. It was my brother's."

Charlie stuck his tongue out at Bill. "See, you don't know everything."

"Do too."

"Do not!" Charlie fired back.

"Oh, for love of Godric, shush, you two!" Sirius said. He took his wand and flicked it at the wall, which immediately became transparent.

And there she was! Bill's mouth fell open. Charlie's jaw went slack and his eyes glazed over. Nymphadora Tonks could be seen through what was once a wall, and now looked like a large picture window. She was wearing nothing but an orange bra and black knickers with jack-o-lanterns covering her bum. Her hair was orange to match her bra, and she was stretched out on her rumpled sheets looking at the ceiling.

"Fucking hell," Charlie whispered.

"What he said," Bill chimed in agreeably.

Sirius gave a low whistle, and Tonks's head shot around in a searching manner.

Eyes going wide, Charlie grabbed Sirius's arm. "Can she see us?" He was poised for flight. "If she can see us, she's going to clock us a good one."

"That would be negative. She has no idea she's the show for the night."

"How often do you do this?" Bill asked.

"Lots." Sirius licked his lips and settled in for the show.

"You're such a pervert!" Charlie exclaimed, and followed that up quickly with and admiring, "Damn, I think I love you, man."

Sirius patted Charlie's arm in response. Bill started to chime in to the conversation, but he stopped abruptly when Tonks raised up, her knees digging into her mattress and began to gyrate.

"What's she doin'?" Charlie asked.

"Looks like she's dancing—sort of—to some kind of music," Bill deduced.

Charlie made an annoyed sound in his throat. "Well, turn it up!"

"Oh for fuck's sake," Sirius said, his tone one of disgust. "It's not a telly. Now, both of you shut your fucking mouths before I throw you out and watch on my own. This is why we can't have nice things. So unappreciative."

Bill gave Sirius a look filled with scepticism. "This is my room! How often do you come in here and watch Tonks do—well, whatever Tonks does?"

A guilty look passed fleetingly over Sirius's face.

"I bet he wanks on your bed too," Charlie supplied helpfully, leaping from the bed, with Bill following his lead. "That's disgusting."

Sirius was undeterred by the Weasley brothers' disgust. He was watching Tonks, and her gyrations on the bed had increased. She was working herself up into a frenzy, and Sirius popped the button of his trousers free.

Charlie and Bill both took a step closer to the transparent wall, and pressed their hopeful faces against the clear barrier. Charlie nudged Bill with his elbow. "Shove over. You're crowding me. I can't get my giant cock out if you're in my way. You make Little Charlie nervous getting so close."

Bill snorted, and Sirius sighed. "I'm never showing you two anything ever again. You're ruining my fun."

Tonks had lain back on the bed and curled her fingers into the sheets, as her other hand slid into her knickers.

"Take them off!" Charlie shouted, getting caught up in the excitement of the moment.

Tonks nearly jumped off the bed, startled, wand drawn and her head moving rapidly in search of intruders. Her Auror instincts were in high alert.

Charlie's gasped, and hissed at Sirius, "You said she can't hear!"

"No, I didn't. I said it's not a telly. She can hear through the walls, you dumb fuck! You just shouted loud enough to be heard three towns over. This is—or was—a sex show, not a fucking Quidditch match."

"Well why didn't you say so?" Charlie demanded. He rushed to the bed, his trousers still open, cock bobbing about, and grabbed Sirius by the shirt and began to shake him.

The door to the bedroom flew open and Tonks came in, wand drawn. She gave a look at the clear wall, a look at the boys, and the unpleasant sparks began to fly.

Later that night at dinner…

"Tonks, dear, are you certain Bill didn't mention where he and Charlie were going? And Sirius? Dumbledore is going to be furious if he's gone out."

Tonks spooned some stew into her bowl. "Don't worry, Molly, I'm sure they're fine. Probably off doing the stupid things men do when women aren't around."

"Yes, dear. That's what worries me."

Up in Bill's room…

"How long do you reckon this is going to last?" Charlie asked, his feet moving of their own accord, as he danced naked across the room.

Bill responded with an equally jerky dancing move of his own. None of the moves appeared to show any control. "Tonks said something about until our willies fall off."

"I really like my willy attached," Charlie said, his face looking sad.

Sirius wasn't dancing. He was ramrod straight on the bed, unable to move, with a very generous set of boobs growing out of his chest.

"Still," Charlie said, "we got off easy. Look at poor Sirius. A pair of tits of his very own, and he can't even touch them."

Bill looked on with sympathy. "Yeah, it's a nice pair too."

"Bill?" Charlie said, his breath coming in short gasps as his dancing feet kept him moving.

"What, chucklehead?"

"Don't suppose you've thought anymore about a Halloween party, eh?"

Bill steered his wildly flailing feet towards Charlie. "I'll give you a party, all right." His eyes were menacing.

Charlie's eyes went wide. "Never you mind. Parties are overrated." He waited a minute before continuing. "The show was nice though, huh?"

Bill couldn't stop himself from smiling.