Hello, fellas! I know I should be updating my other fanfiction, but I'm working on some bad habits I have, so let's go easy on me. I promise I Loved You First (First-time Parents) will be up soon, ok? Ok.

Now... Some major-ass author notes here. Again, this is Jarlos, but this time, it's a James-centered fic this time. I adore doing centered fics, so... Oh, and we so don't have a happy ending here. In fact, what we do have is a hella lot of angst. You were warned. Rated M for language, sexual situations, kids going down on alcohol and whatnot. Title explains itself during the fanfiction.

And I hope, for my own sake, that you guys understand this style of narration.

As always, any doubts, mistakes concerning spelling/grammar or even about the plot, please tell me about, ok? Oh, and please, review! I write for you guys, so tell me what you think about the story!

I think that's about it. Please, enjoy!

Disclaimer: The only thing that belongs to me in all its property is the plot. I don't own anything here mentioned, unless I say it.

Good reading! Xx.

"For a moment there, I saw an ounce of promise in you. But you weren't strong enough to follow through on that. I just hope, for your sake that you one day find it again; that you manage to brush away the rubble in your head and find a way to love, and be loved. It's something you've been without for far too long." – Unknown.

xxxxx

Nothing is what it really seems. Blue isn't just blue. It's light blue, dark blue, navy blue… Never just blue. A ring isn't just a ring. It may be a wedding ring or a family ring, but never only a ring. Anything is what it seems. And what you're about to read may seem like a love story.

It isn't.

A love story needs… love. We have that. A love story needs lots of conflicts and dramas and whatnots. Check. It also needs some stubborn characters. We have one of those, so I think we're settled on that. A love story needs some running away together. Yeah, don't have that. But mostly, a love story needs a happy ending. We definitely don't have one.

So yeah. Keep in mind – it's not a love story.

What I'm about to tell you all, I've been holding inside of me for so long that I lost count. It all happened long ago; so long ago that I may have forgotten some details (I'm lying, I remember everything, but let's pretend I don't so I don't sound so pathetic, thank you very much). Oh, and to keep me from being exposed, I'm changing some names here – I also have some poetic license to do that, so let me be.

So, let me introduce myself. That's not my name, really, but call me James. James David Diamond, just so we formally address each other. I'm a handsome kind of guy, so I don't see why someone wouldn't want me. Back in the days of my golden years, boys dropped their trunks at me with the same intensity girls dropped their bikinis at me. I could turn the straightest guy out there gay, and I'm not just saying that. I really could. I lived near the beach, within walking distance from the ocean.

As previously said, I'm a handsome kind of guy. Tall, muscular, sandy hair, sculpted chest. Everything about me said "he's good, get him!". Most of the time, all people around would follow their instincts and have the time of their lives with me, because I was the kind of thing that happens once in a lifetime, and people just came around during summer, anyways. It was either be with me for that night and that night only, or never have the chance again.

No one passed the opportunity. And when I say "no one" I mean it.

So. Back to me. Tall, muscular, sandy hair, sculpted chest. Beautiful hazel eyes, rosé cheeks, amazingly beautiful hands. Yes, hands, I'm talking about my hands. People loved my hands not only because of what they could do (if you get what I'm saying), but because they really were beautiful.

Were. In the past, yeah. Now I'm old. What I'm telling you happened back when I was 13 or 14 and started to understand just how handsome I really was.

My dad was a handsome man (God please have him now). Like really handsome, and all I wanted in life was to be my dad. I never had my mom around – she preferred to stay in New York and get her money, so fuck her. Never had contact with her, never needed her, really. So fuck it.

As I was saying. I wanted to be my dad. I loved every aspect of that man, and when he died, I suffered a hella lot. But that's for later. Back to point, Diamond!

He taught me everything I knew. How to surf. How to take care of my dogs and my hair. How to work out. Everything I knew and still know came from that man. I miss him a whole lot, but oh well. A man gotta live up for himself.

So, oh my fuck, I promise I won't get into any details of this sort anymore, I was 17 and living the time of my life. Some people I knew more than I wanted to know, but Diamond was kind of a famous name, and girls came around during summer, and then came back next summer bringing their girl friends to share me. Boys did the same.

It was like that from my 13 to my 17, and even though four years doesn't sound like many years, when you are just a teenagers with more sexual appetite than you should, it actually.

I was a fucker. Literally speaking. Dad was actually really proud of that. I surfed, I helped with the surf shop, I was a great student, with straight A's and still managed to be a Ladies (and Gentlemen, too) Man.

I was just really happy Dad wasn't disgusted of me for being bisexual, but I should have figured. He loved me. And back to the point. Right.

Ok, so the "love story" part of this story begins now.

It was almost summer. Like any other summer. I was about to be 18, happy as fuck because, really, eight-fucking-teen, it was about time. Not that it'd make any difference, really. I already did everything I could still being underaged, so there wouldn't be anything different, really – aside of being able to say "I'M 18 FUCKER LEAVE ME ALONE".

I was at the shop like every other day, kind of bored and pissed because there still was a whole week to go before summer was down and shinning bright in all its glory.

I so loved summer.

I was cleaning some surfing boards when I heard the door opening. I didn't bother checking who it was because, even though I was a really good selling man, it wasn't summer yet, so there wouldn't be any costumer, really.

Then I heard this beautiful voice that sounded like music to my ears. In fact, some beautiful song translated in two simple words.

"Hm, excuse me?"

My head shot up to see a beautiful little man standing with this confused look in his eyes that were wide open looking at everything in the shop with this little smile gracing his lips.

He was gorgeous.

I put on my charming smile walking all the way to him, offering my hand when I was within reaching distance.

"Hi, how can I help you?"

His cheeks tinted red. I smiled.

"Uh… It's kind of embarrassing… Um… I'm going to spend the month here, and I was thinking, maybe, I could learn how to surf?" He was cute. "Some people told me about your shop, are you David? They said you'd be a little bit older though…" He trailed off and I smiled.

"David is my dad. I'm James. It's nice to meet you…?" I trailed off, indirectly asking his name.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" He finally took my hand but didn't shake it. He just held it. "I'm Carlos. Carlos Garcia, it's nice to meet you too." He smiled, letting go of my hand a few seconds later.

When I realized the awkward silence due to us looking into each other's eyes I smiled and shook my head. "So, how can I help you?"

His cheeks tinted red again. "It sounds kind of dumb, because I'm moving into a beach city for a month and I don't know how to surf. But that's kind of it. Do you surf?" He asked suddenly.

"I do." I smiled proudly. Then it was an opportunity, and the proud smile turned into a charming one. "You'd like to learn how to surf, Carlos?"

"Y-y-yes", he stuttered.

Cutest thing I've seen in my life to this day still.

"I can teach you how to surf. If you want, of course," I added, after seeing his unsure face.

He smiled at me. A long time after that, I learned that he liked people who asked for his opinion before imputing things to him without asking him about it.

"Sure, sounds great," he answered with a smile. "I don't have time right now, but I'll be back. You stay here all the time?"

"During summer, yes. I have senior year to finish." I smiled at his shocked face.

"You still study?"

"Yup. I'm seventeen."

He smiled. "Me too. Just turned 17 about a month ago."

"I'll be 18 in about a month." I smiled.

We stayed in silence, just looking at each other's face, until he shook his head, as if he was cleaning his mind of some thought.

"Well, James, I've got to go. It was a pleasure to meet you." He said with a tiny smile. I smiled back, my charming smile on.

"It was my pleasure." I waved goodbye as he passed through the door.

Carlos left that day and didn't come back. His smile never left me, though.

Now, thinking back, I never really analyzed Carlos as I'm doing right now. I just knew he was the most flawless person I've seen in my life, as if I had always known him.

Carlos was short, maybe a head shorter than me, but that was just fine - I liked people shorter than me. His eyes were brown, big chocolate eyes that sparkled with emotion all the time. I almost couldn't see his hair; it was a shaded kind of cut that I absolutely loved and whatever. I loved everything about the way he looked.

Plus, Garcia. I thought the name with the 'r' rolling on my tongue. He was Latino. The hottest thing under the sun of California, to be honest.

That night was a living hell.

You see, I was used to hot people throwing themselves at me and finding all kinds of excuses to be around me without me even knowing their name, and then that fucker appears and I know his name and that he's going to spend the whole summer, but he doesn't come back as promised and I'm so lost in all these feelings, and his eyes haunted me during my sleep and hell. It. Was. Hell.

"James," I heard my dad saying during dinner, "What's wrong?"

His voice startled me. I didn't even know he was around.

"Dad? When did you come back?"

He looked at me with this look in his eyes.

"Are you shitting me? I'm back for about two hours now, James, I made dinner, son. Where are you, boy?"

I was feeling awkward. "I'm sorry, dad."

He shook his head. "I want to know what's wrong with you, kid."

I sighed. "I'm fine, dad. Just thinking. Summer is just around the corner, and so is senior year… It's just a lot going on." His eyes told me he didn't beliebe me. "I'm fine, promise."

He smiled at me. He so knew something was up.

"If you say so. You know you can tell me anything, right?" I nodded. "Great. Now, how was your day, kiddo?"

I remember smiling at my dad with a bright smile, and knowing, by the look in his eyes, that he knew something happened at the shop.

I still miss my dad more than I can help.

Okay.

The next day was spent waiting for that Carlos boy to show up at the shop.

He showed up right before I closed the shop. In fact, the shop was already closed, and it annoyed the hell out of me when I heard people banging at the closed the door. Then I looked back to see his face behind the glass door.

He smiled a sorry smile. "Can you open?" He mouthed through the other side and I nodded.

"Sure." I answered as I walked to unlock the door.

He walked in with a shy look in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said when he was already inside, "I know I promised I'd come, but I was so busy, unpacking shit and whatnots. So, how are you, James?"

I smiled. He remembered my name.

"I'm fine, Carlos, but I was going to ask you the same, seeing as you had a busy time unpacking things. So. How are you?"

The bright smile that reached his eyes showed that he was happy for the same reason I was. "I'm great. Just a bit tired, but nothing like some time at the beach to relax."

I smirked. Latino boy was way more than what I expected.

"Would you like to go to the beach? I'm just closing the shop, we can walk there, have a drink…"

He smirked back.

"Sounds great. Do you need any help closing the shop?" He asked genuinely and I smiled.

"Not really, I'm just moving some surf boards and we can go."

He shrugged. "Sure. Can I sit here?" He asked, pointing to the counter and I shrugged myself.

"Sure."

He smiled while bracing himself and jumping a little until he was sitting on the counter. I moved some stuff until everything was the way my dad liked and went back to the shop.

"Let's go?" I asked and he nodded.

We left the shop together. We walked a bit in silence, until it was too much for Carlos to handle - he had to talk. "Make some noise" would be the right expression, but let's stay classy.

"So, James, how is it like here around?"

The question caught me off guard. What was I supposed to answer?

"I don't know. I guess I've lived here for so long that I wouldn't know how to answer that." I answered honestly. He smiled.

"Well, it's definitely hot."

I smiled back. "Where are you from?"

"Minnesota."

"Wow," I laughed, "You must be really hot, right?"

"Yes! The hottest time in Minnesota is when we just need to wear one coat instead of ten."

I laughed out loud at that. "Well, I'm from New York, but I've been here with my dad since I was two years old, so here is all I know."

"It must be great to live just across the street from the ocean."

"It is."

We took a seat at a table on Bitters' bar. He was a great guy - according to my dad. To the rest of the world he was just some dumbass who had a lot of money.

"Hiya Jamez! I see summer started earlier this year for you, my friend!"

I laughed. "Maybe." I looked back at Carlos. "You drink?" He just nodded. "Move your ass and get me two Coronas, man."

He laughed. "I've seen better sides of you."

"C'mon Guitar Dude!"

He laughed me off while walking back to the bar.

"Guitar Dude?" Carlos asked me with this weird face and I laughed.

"Everyone here has weird nicknames. This is Guitar Dude, then there's Buddah Bob, the three Jennifers, Hortense, Knight… Everyone here has weird names. I'll present them to you as soon as summer begins. The Jennifers, Hortense and Knight are all out of town and so is Buddah - he's Knight's step-dad."

Just as a finished my ramble about the people, I heard a voice cutting off whatever it was that Carlos was going to say.

"James!"

I groaned when she took a sit between Carlos and I.

"Hello, Camille."

"How are you doing and-" She acknowledged Carlos' presence. "Ooh, I see summer began earlier for you this year!" She smirked that turned to Carlos. "Hi! I'm Camille Roberts, James' best friend! You are?"

Carlos had this huge smile in his face. "I'm Carlos, nice to meet you, Camille."

"I know it is!" She blinked at him then laughed. "Just kidding. Nice to meet you, too. Well," she said, not giving herself time to breathe, "I gotta go boys. Behave well." And just as she came, she left. Oh, God.

"Great best friend you have there." He commented with a laughed and I couldn't stop myself from laughing, too.

"I know."

Just then, Guitar Dude showed up with our beers and I grimaced.

"Took you long enough."

He shrugged me off. "Bitters is a pain in the ass, you know."

I laughed. "Yup."

And the night went on. Carlos was the greatest person I've had the pleasure to know. One sweet, cool kid, and I would be damned if I hadn't had given him the chance to approach me. We talked about anything and everything, nothing too personal, nothing too important. Just little talks that I honestly don't remember anymore.

Soon, it was getting late, but it seemed that I had spent just fifteen minutes with him. He was fun, and sweet, and just generally great to be around.

"I've got to go, it's getting late." He said with a frown and I smiled.

"We've got the whole summer," I said with a grin. He grinned back, nodding.

He was making it for his wallet when I stopped him.

"Please, you just got here. I got this. As a welcome gift from me to you."

He put on a thinking face, but ended up laughing.

"Ok, but just because I just got here. I pay next time." He said with a firm tone.

"Deal," was the only answer I could manager, seeing as the fact that he said "next time" gave me the beautiful prospect of another time like that with him.

"Can I walk you back home?" I asked with a charming, low tone and he shrugged.

"Sure."

We walked in silence, and at some point I took his hand and held it, just really happy that she didn't shake it off. I ended up finding out that he was living just a block away from me, and that made me happier than what I should be.

"So, we're here," I said with a frown and he smiled at me.

"We've got the whole summer." He said.

We stayed in silence for a while, until he got in his tip-toes and kissed me. A sweet, brief kiss on the lips, tasting like "we'll have more of that", and I smiled at him when he pulled apart.

"Good night, Carlos."

"Sweet dreams, James."

As I walked back home, I just had one thought in my mind: summer definitely began earlier this year for me.