Okay, first chapter here.
Well, I have the bloodinkpen as my first beta for this chapter, then I re-read it and fix it a little (on 24th April). After that I have Yudja to fix the rest mistake (thank you so much!)
First Beta: thebloodinkpen ( u/10122443/thebloodinkpen)
Second Beta: /users/Yudja/pseuds/Yudja (Main one as Yudja did a lot work here for me *Scratches head* Ehehe ~~ Even make the words become more smoothly for the reader ~ )
Haunted
"Tobirama never forget that the Uchiha were, are and always will be Senju's enemy. No matter what happens, we can never trust them."
A long time ago, when he was still just a kid, innocent, naive and excited to learn more about the world around him, his father had already told him this. The man made sure that Tobirama would remember those words very well and cling to them. He wasn't like Hashirama, he wasn't someone who was meant to become the leader, the new clan's head in the future. He couldn't act like him and live his life as he wanted. Tobirama wasn't the cheerful kid, who loved to play and explore this world (Like Kawarama). Nor like Itama, the kind-heart and gentle boy. He couldn't act like his brothers and live his life as he wanted. No, he was meant to be the warrior who would protect Hashirama, the Senju's heir, the one who was destined to be clan head, to protect his younger brothers and teach them everything he knew.
There was no real reason for the Senju and Uchiha rivalries, as Tobirama was told, they had been like that for more than a hundred years, unable to live together, always fighting and killing. And if forced to give his opinion on the war, Tobirama would said that this endless conflict was foolish and senseless, but who was he to judge when he was a participant of it ? He was a Senju, and it was his duty to protect the clan, even if it mean he had to kill one Uchiha after the other to do it.
No matter how many fell down and were never able to get back up again, nothing changed. Because it's human's instinct to fight for their beliefs be they good or bad, right or wrong, it didn't matter, they all had theirs reasons. Humans were pretty foolish right ? Willing to throw away their life just for beliefs. But again, it wasn't like he was any different.
After all, Tobirama was just another human and like those people, a fool and a coward. How can he judge them when he is the same as them?
To be honest, it wasn't like this at first. Although Tobirama understood his duty, but he couldn't truly hate the Uchiha, until they took away his brother–Kawarama. Little Kawarama was so bright, so full of energy, both like and unlike Hashirama. Still, he loved his brothers dearly. Even if Hashirama had been quite troublesome at times, Kawarama quite the hot-head and always eager to fight, and Itama too soft for the shinobi world, Tobirama loved them with all his heart. It was Tobirama who raised his two younger brothers, because Butsuma was mostly busy with his duty as a clan head, and Hashirama was too carefree to even notice.
Tobirama was there for Kawarama and Itama, he was their brother, and also a parental figure to them. Yet, the Uchiha took them away from him. They destroyed his sun, his sunshine–Kawarama and then his kindheart-Itama. They took them both.
It hurt so much that the pain took a different form. It became the flame of hatred, beautiful yet deadly. It was ridiculous, how someone like him could control water so well and who never showed much emotion, yet, owned such flame, such heat, belonged to someone like Tobirama. (Wouldn't it make more sense if someone with Katon affinity owned that flame, instead of himself – a Suiton user?) But it wasn't like it mattered, right? The hatred inside him just kept growing more and more with each day that passed, and no one can deny it, not even Tobirama.
He wasn't Hashirama. He didn't have anyone to comfort him, no one to talk to or share the pain with. So he took it all to himself, embraced it, just as he embraced the hatred inside him, and he changed.
He was no longer just a naive kid, as his innocent has been destroyed by those Uchiha. Tainted by hatred–there was no turning back, or perhaps it was simply what he told himself.
Tobirama hated the Uchiha. How could he not when it was their fault that Kawarama and Itama no longer existed? (Even if somewhere in his mind, a voice would disagree with that, because Kawarama and Itama still alive, in his heart, his mind and his memory.)
But more than that, he hated Uchiha Madara. Indeed, there was no reason for this hatred, yet, it existed. Perhaps it was their fate, to hate each other, to become enemy. One look, and it was everything he needed to hate the man. Laughter escaped his throat, full of disgust, but for whom? For himself, or for the man? Funny that he found himself not giving a fuck.
Maybe, Tobirama was the only one who remembered that day, the day when they first met. After all, beside his brother – Uchiha Izuna, that bastard only cared about Hashirama. It was strange to see that his enemy and his brother had such tight bonds. He wondered if Hashirama ever wished Madara to become his brother, instead of Tobirama. Ah, even Kawarama and Itama would be better than himself, right? (No! It wasn't like that! – a voice told him - still, he couldn't bring himself to believe those words.)
Madara and Hashirama were best friends, almost like brothers, with their dream for world peace, or at least the stop of this meaningless war. Hashirama trusted the guy, was willing to share everything with Madara.
Then what about him? Who is he? For what reason did he exist?
Broken laughter (whose it belonged to? Perhaps it's his laughter, but Tobirama turned blind eyes to it). There was so many questions, and yet, there was no answers. The Senju feared he may become insane if this keep up, but who would care?
Still, their dream – who appeared so unreachable – actually come truth.
He had thought that it was a mere pipe-dream. After all, even if the Uchiha and Senju had stopped fighting and killing, it didn't mean others clans would do the same. Yet they managed to stop the war and attain peace through the establishment of the village.
Thanks to Hashirama's luck, or did the Gods also had had enough and decided to make the war stop? Or perhaps, all the blood and tears shed, all theses losses, finally brought back their humanity.
Uchiha and Senju were no longer fighting, no longer at each other's throat. And from there, a village was founded. Tobirama wasn't as naive as his brother, no, he trusted what he saw, and he wasn't a dreamer like Hashirama. He could see that, despite the fact that they had decided to live together, member of the two clans still disliked each other. Not to forget, the Uchiha only cared about their clan, never put the well-being of the village before that of their clan. How can they work well together when somes of them only care about themselves ? But Hashirama wouldn't see that, he wouldn't believe it. Thus, Tobirama chose to stay quiet.
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.
.
Konoha, the Village Hidden in the Leaves. Tobirama couldn't disagree with that name, as their village was surrounded by plenty trees. It was wonderful and amazing, how the village was quickly founded and filled with plenty clans, filled with hope and harmony.
But not to forget, that nothing last forever, especially good things.
The village have chosen Hashirama instead of Madara as Konoha's Hokage. Maybe it wasn't that bad at first, but as the time passed, Tobirama could see how things were slowly turning. The hatred in Madara's eyes was so familiar.
Heh.
Madara must have really hated them, but perhaps mostly Tobirama. After all, he was the one who killed Izuna, Madara's dearest brother. Not to forget, just like how Izuna always told Madara, Tobirama was there to remind Hashirama that they could never trust the Uchiha, especially Madara. It didn't matter how his brother would react to theses reminders, because it was his duty to protect Hashirama's dream, –thus ensuring the well-being of the clan and of the village–, by advising him to be cautious of the Uchiha clan.
Tobirama wanted to laugh bitterly right in Madara's face. Ah, he hated him so much, and to see Madara in pain, to see the Uchiha became just like him, swallowed by the hatred. It should have been amazing. But, what was that feeling, why did his chest hurted so much? He just couldn't understand.
He tried to push the pain away, Tobirama told himself that, it was due to the fact he was overworked those days. Indeed, that must have been the reason why he had started feeling like this. He shouldn't think about the Uchiha anymore, after all, Tobirama still had many things to do (But a small voice in his head kept whispering, that he shouldn't ignore it, or he would surely regret it; and he did years later.)
.
.
.
Madara left.
Just as Tobirama had expected. But why did it felt so wrong, and how could he have guessed it? Was it because the signs were so clear, or was it something else?
He wasn't so sure, and the fact that he could understand the man so well left him surprised. When did it begin? How did it end up like this? It wasn't like Tobirama was friends with Madara like Hashirama was. Yet, he could see Madara's point, could understand why the man decided to leave. As if they were close enough for Tobirama to guess Madara's next move, even though everyone with a brain would had to know that it was impossible. After all, Madara hate him, and Tobirama return the sentiment.
Uchiha Madara left Konoha. As someone who hated him so much, shouldn't have he felt grateful? Because theses damned eyes of his were no longer here!
Uchiha Marada fought against Senju Hashirama and was killed during the battle and his brother couldn't find his best friend's body. (Somewhere in his mind, he wondered if Hashirama could ever considered himself as Madara's best friend again... Everyone knew just how close Hashirama and Madara are, almost as if they were brothers, yet, it was Tobirama's actions that broke Hashirama and Madara's bonds. The Senju wondered, how would his anija react if he (Hashirama) ever found out that it was part of Tobirama's fault that Madara snapped... Part of him afraid that Hashirama will turn his back against him, and Tobirama would lose the last member of his family. Laughter filled the room, the white-hair male wondered if he was slowly becomes insane...)
With news like these, he should have felt happy, right? After all, that mad man wasn't alive anymore. Konoha couldn't be any safer.
Then why, why did it hurt so much?
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.
.
Another year, another spring.
Followed by the gentle wind, the petals allowed themselves to travel around, anywhere the wind reached, curious about this big and wonderful world. Still, there was some that preferred to stay here, stay in Konoha, and as the wind caressed someone's cheek, the petals fell onto his lap, some even stuck in his hair. Yet, there was no reaction from him.
He was busy, not working, but watching the children, the adult, the birds- everything that belonged to Konoha. It was beautiful, full of life force, yet Tobirama couldn't bring himself to feel the same. No one beside himself noticed this, but since that fateful day, he could no longer feel happy. Although Tobirama wasn't one with many emotions, because he hid them all, there were still some moments when he felt happy, for example, when Hashirama finally got married. But, he hadn't felt like that for a while now. Nothing could lift his mood, not even his love for creating new jutsus.
Lips pressed together to form a thin line. He found himself staring at the busy street, unconsciously searching for someone. Someone with long and wild black hair. Someone with the familiar red armour. With those black orb that could turn red – more like turn into the very popular yet dangerous doujutsu - ones that he should have never allowed himself to look into, but even then he still knew how beautiful they were. No one could deny how deadly those Sharingans were, but even so, they wouldn't and couldn't stop themselves from looking into those eyes.
Just like him.
His hands were held up, as if they tried to reach for something, someone. They wanted to reach out for a person, wanted to touch him, to feel him. But he knew, he just couldn't. Because Madara had no longer existed. And in front of him, there was just empty space.
Laughter filled the room, he felt like choking on it. He understands it now...
Senju Tobirama disliked the Uchiha, because they cared for their clan more than for the village. But more than that, he disliked the Uchiha because of their curse!
The Curse of Hatred.
The Uchiha weren't one without feeling like people thought. No, they were people who were greatly devoted to love and friendship, yet they tended to conceal their more affectionate traits. When the object of their affection is lost, an Uchiha's love can instantaneously turn into hatred, leaving them more inclined to do anything and everything in their power to achieve their goals and show their own superiority, regardless of the consequences and repercussions of their actions. The despair of these experiences cause a manifestation of unique chakra within an Uchiha's brain, impacting the optic nerves and creating the Sharingan.
He hated Uchiha Madara. In his eyes, Madara was a mad man, a threat to Konoha and to their peaceful village. But at the same time, it was Madara who had helped Hashirama found the village, who gave it a name: Konoha. He loved the village as much as Hashirama and that love turned into hatred.
Tobirama wanted nothing to do with the man. But why did it hurt when he was no longer there? Why did he keep searching for Madara's shadow, when he clearly knew it was impossible?
Perhaps he knew the answer, but refused to acknowledge it. No. He would never admit it, right?
[Senju]
He had told himself a million times already. It was dangerous to open such door, despite that, he still couldn't forget him. Why?! Why wouldn't Madara leave him alone even in death? He held his head in his hands, wished he could just ignore everything, but he knew he wouldn't be able to...
[Sen... Tobirama]
With shaking hands and closed eyes, he tried to deny that anything happened. He didn't hear anything, nor did he see anyone. But he knew, it was useless. The corner of his lips twitched slightly, then turned up for a small-yet-full-of-mocking smirk. He mocked himself because, really now, how could he not? This was his punishment, for staying alive while Kawarama and Itama weren't, for killing Izuna, for leading Madara to his death, right?
It hurt.
It hurt so much. But no one would know, because he was Tobirama, he had no feelings.
No one would know, just how painful it was. How his heart felt like it was shattering.
As a small choke escaped his throat, Tobirama slowly lifted his head up and glanced outside the window with a doubtful look.
People thought he hated the Uchiha.
People thought he loathed Madara.
But they were wrong.
Tobirama didn't hate the Uchiha, he hated their curse.
Tobirama didn't loathe Madara. He had always tried to lie to himself, acted as if he loathed him and wanted the man to die. But... But the truth was-he loved him! That was why he wanted the man to stay away. He was supposed to be the weapon, to die protecting his clan, his brother. Feelings weren't something he needed and especially not towards an Uchiha. Yet, he couldn't deny his feelings for Madara anymore...
What a joke, right?
And now, Madara had become his nightmare. Someone that haunted him, whether he was awake or deep asleep.
Tobirama knew, he will never able to escape from Madara... Even in his death.
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[Love is a touch and yet not a touch]
Wanted to reach out, yet couldn't.
End chapter 1.