This bed of sand
Summary: She doesn't understand him and he doesn't get her, but in some strange way they are kept together. GaaSaku
Disclaimer: I don't own. That simple
Spellcheck of the day: GaaraGavra (wtf?)
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He has no idea what drew him to her in the first place.
She doesn't understand what it is that drives him, what his feelings are. She has a family, they love her, and she takes it for granted. Doesn't even question it. And while it irks him some and more often than not causes him to become wildly, uncontrollably jealous, so much so that it starts making him sick and he has to go elsewhere for a while, sometimes it is a source of simple wonder.
He supposes that in some strange, distant way she has done the same as him. She has lost, been betrayed by someone close to her, someone who she thought was close to her, but was really, all that time, pushing her away. And the realization nearly broke her.
Nearly broke her. That's the thing that Gaara can't help but find so fascinating. She stays strong through the knowledge that her most important person rejects her and has always rejected her. Gaara, meanwhile, fell to pieces at the age of six and didn't even begin to collect them until he was beaten in that forest during the ill-fated chuunin exam.
The difference is not only that she doesn't have a demon eating at her soul, though he guesses that that's one of those certain differences that do have a rather large effect. She has so many other important people. Teammates, friends, family. He is... fascinated, sometimes, by the different interactions, as he lurks behind her somewhere in the shadows.
She pulls him out one day, finally, and he is thrust into the light of day both literally and metaphorically. Her family is shocked, then accepting (that easily? i could kill her you know it wouldn't be hard yet you trust me why?)
Her friends, particularly those who watched through the prelims of the chuunin exam, are shocked, chagrined, and stay so far longer. Only her remaining teammate gets over it; raises an eyebrow and then gives him a thumbs up and a cheeky grin.
He can't understand what reasons lie behind her actions, her sudden wish to reveal him; the attention makes his head whirl and the disapproval makes his stomach churn. Then she gives them an ultimatum speech ("well it doesn't matter if you like him or not; i like him and that's enough for me or are you just not wanting to admit the real reason is he scares you?" womens intuition isn't just a fable)
But no matter the differences, he is here now and sometimes the sheer normality of her is good for him. She knows how to coo and soothe after a nightmare (like yashamaru did only don't think about that she won't turn out like him- will she?), even if she doesn't understand all the anguish behind it, the blood and bloodlust and insanity. But she pets him and rocks him and of course he doesn't go to sleep but manages to let his mind drift again to that half dreaming state that started the problem in the first place.
Sometimes, though, her soothing does not work, and the only thing is to fuck her, fuck her raw, and drown his sorrows into her because her cup is much thicker, much better made; her sanity is like a coffee mug to his tiny, cracked champagne glass. They roll and bite and fight and chakra flares and burns and without the sand she would be stronger than him, so really she is just giving herself to him- wants to, so selfless, and their pain is on this bed of sand that forms, whenever it is like this.
In the end, it is a good thing that she is a medinin, because she can patch herself up after. Only she gets to him, too, though he thinks he hardly deserves it, making the worst of the bite marks and the tracks of her nails go away- the ones that hurt. It reminds him that physical pain is so fleeting, and for some reason, that makes him glad.
He doesn't know what drew him to her in the first place. But he knows what keeps him here.
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A/N: Oh dear god. I don't know why I wrote this. To anyone reading this for this pairing: you probably don't want to read my other stuff. (XP I hate this pairing!! Why lord??)