It's set around March 2010, a few days before the first anniversary of their first meeting.
This chapter is from Beckett's POV.
I really hope you like it.
Chapter 1
I'm just clearing the board and mentally preparing myself for the usual ton of case-closed paperwork when Castle sits down in his usual chair and starts staring at me. It's not really unusual for him to stare at me, but this time I know that something is different. During the journey from the elevator doors to my desk I had noticed he walked funny, like he wanted to appear sure of himself when he's actually nervous.
After a while I'm tired of this game and give him a glare that's supposed to either make him spill or make him stop. I guess he chose the former option, because he's not backing up. At all. He's still looking at me all focused like I'm the most difficult puzzle in the world and his only goal in life is figuring me out.
"Do you want to go out with me tonight?"
Definitely I was not expecting that. Not now and maybe not ever. Not like this anyway.
"What?" I spit out, a bit more forcefully than intended. He's lucky I wasn't drinking or I'd have literally spat all over him. Knowing him, he probably waited I had finished my coffee for… this.
He's still looking at me, more amused by my outburst than offended. And all the while he never stopped staring at me, studying intently my reaction.
"On a date. You know, we dress up, I pick you up, we go to dinner… The usual stuff. I'm sure you're familiar with the concept…"
"A date?"
Maybe I shouldn't look so surprised. I mean, the guy is writing books whose main character is based on me! Still, it's kind of awkward… Castle asking me out on a date… When we first met I knew he was interested, but I thought his famous writer persona almost required him to flirt with every woman that crossed his path.
"Yes. We just closed the case, so you don't have a murderer to catch, for a change. It's 4 p.m., so you have plenty of time to go home and get ready and, if you really want, you even have time for some paperwork. So, you see, you have no excuses."
I try to refocus my super-widened eyes into his and straighten my face. "Have you ever thought that maybe I just don't want to go out with you?"
He swallows, visibly edgy, before answering. "Of course. That's why I asked now, when you have no excuses to hide behind. I'm really not in the mood for excuses, so if that's the case, just say so."
His voice sounds sincere and his face shows no signs of laughter. He is as serious as I've ever seen him. For a second I think he really does care about my answer.
"So you're telling me that if I say no you'll accept that and leave me alone?" I ask in disbelieve.
"Well… they say hope never dies, so I'd probably ask again in a few months or so, but I won't hold a grudge, don't worry."
His smile doesn't quite reach his eyes. He's actually nervous. I shouldn't be and I surely don't want to be, but still I feel flattered. I made world-famous crime novelist Richard Castle nervous. I know I can be intimidating, and I tried to scare him more than once, but I didn't think I'd ever be able to actually make it.
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why me? Why today? Why do you even think it could be a good idea?" It's probably uncalled-for, but I need to ask. I need to hear his answer and to look at his face while he talks.
"Do I really need to explain? Common Kate, I might be a mystery writer, but I'm not exactly mysterious myself. Alexis knew when I was lying when she was four!"
What does that mean? that I should know what he's thinking? With all that 'look at me, I'm the great Richard Castle' attitude it's hard to know what he means and what he says just for show. And obviously Alexis doesn't count. She's way too clever to be used as an example.
"Well, she's a smart kid…"
"Yeah, she is, but that's not the point. The point is I'm not one to beat around the bush. I've liked you from the beginning and you know it. You made my inspiration come back! I'm writing books about you! That's not exactly being subtle! And still, you want to know my reasons. The reason is simple, really. I want to go out with you because I've been following you around for a year and I don't think I could ever grow tired of it. Of you. I want to go out with you because the more I know about you the more I want to know. And I'd want to even if there was no Nikki Heat, that was just an excuse. I know that I had to force you into putting up with me, but I have no intention of doing that anymore. Maybe I'm being selfish, but I wish you'd spend time with me because you want to, not because you're forced to."
For a few long seconds all I can do is look at him wide eyed. Again. He sure knows how to surprise the hell out of me. When my brain starts to cooperate I realize there's only one issue I need to consider. I have to decide if I'm willing to trust him. I already did trust him, in dangerous situations, but this is different. This is not a life-or-death situation, but still there is a lot at stake.
It's funny… I spent the last year trying not to think about what it would be like to date Castle, to be with him, repeating myself that he was just fooling around and he was just too aggravating to be taken seriously anyway. But now, for the first time, I'm actually considering the possibility, and I'm surprised to find out that 'big kid' and 'annoying' are pretty much the most negative things I can say about him. Under all his glamour he has a good heart, brings fun to my life, several times I've considered him sweet, and after a whole year of shadowing me this couldn't just be a spur of the moment thing, could it? He have to mean it, right? He's been considering this for a while. At least enough to wait for the right moment. If he asked he probably has already taken into account what could happen if I say no and if I say yes and we don't work out. And still he's willing to take the chance.
I realize he's still waiting for some kind of answer. He's bouncing on the balls of his feet, probably wondering what am I thinking. He really looks like someone waiting to be put out of his misery, and that look on him is kinda funny.
"You've never been at a loss for words before, at least not with me. Do I need to take it as a good or a bad sign?" he jokes. Probably couldn't take the silence anymore. Can't blame him, really. I've been gaping at him for probably ten minutes. And he's not one to just sit down and wait. Unless he's staring at me. But that wouldn't be called waiting, I suppose.
My mind is still trying to process what's happening, but somehow I know what I'm going to say, I never really had an option. Nonetheless I'm shocked at what is about to come out of my mouth, therefore I'm quite positive he'll be surprised too.
"You know what, Castle? Pick me up at 7."
For a couple of seconds he's too stunned to react, and by the time he does I've already picked up my stuff and I'm headed to the elevator. My hours working were technically over ten minutes ago, so there's no point in being here and asking myself what the hell did I just do for the next hour. At least if I'm home he won't see me fretting about … well… him.
"Ah, Castle, tell the guys they've got paperwork waiting on their desks." I add behind my shoulder.
I usually do most of the case-closed paperwork, but there's no harm in delegating once in a while. Especially considering I have to get ready for a date…
Just as I turn around, when I'm already in the elevator, I see him break into a huge grin that almost lights up the whole floor. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating, but he really looks happy. He's cheerful most of the time, but thinking that my answer put that I-just-won-the-lottery look on his face kind of makes my day too.
At least until I realize the enormity of what just happened.
I just agreed to go out with Castle!
This is bound to be the best or the worst date of my life…