Title: When the Moon Casts its Light
Author: Risa
Pairings: Arnold/Helga
Rated: K+
Disclaimer: Hey Arnold! is Craig Bartlett's creation.
Word Count: ~6,800
Summary: An awkward encounter forces Arnold and Helga to have to face their true feelings for each other, and it isn't fun.
A/N: I don't know how something originally meant to be 500 words turned into 6,800. *shrug* Anyway, I'll dedicate this to sarajayechan because she got me all into Hey Arnold! again.
For so long I have longed for you. My heart is in your hands. You shake my core and render me weak, forever stifling the words I dare not speak. For years on end I've been enslaved by my love for you. There has been no other and will never be a girl that adores you as I do. I'll be at the docks tonight, when the moon casts its light.
Your secret admirer.
"You think she'll actually show up this time?" said Gerald, handing the poem back to Arnold. This was the third one Arnold had received that week, and not once had he met this mystery admirer of his.
"I'm sure she will. She's probably just shy," said Arnold, glancing down at the poem with a small smile on his face. He had high hopes that this person was someone sweet, such as Lila, who probably wrote a lot of beautiful poetry in her spare time. "Or Helga kept scaring her away... "
"Helga? What's Helga got to do with anything?"
"Well," said Arnold, folding the poem up neatly and sliding it into his pocket. "Every night I've gone to the docks I've run into her, and she would insult me as usual.
"I don't get it, Gerald. I can't seem to go anywhere without running into her, and when I do I don't get why she has to be so mean. I don't get why she hates me so much."
"Hmm," said Gerald, scratching his chin. "So the only girl you ran into was Helga?"
"Yeah." Arnold sighed and shook his head.
"Well, that's it!"
"What's it?"
"Your secret admirer. It's probably Helga."
Arnold didn't know whether to laugh, or scream. Either way, what Gerald was proposing was completely ridiculous, not to mention impossible.
"That has got to be the craziest thing I've ever heard. There is no way, Gerald. There is no way my secret admirer is Helga! She hates me. And besides, do you think someone as mean and crazy as she is can write beautiful love poetry?"
"Anything's possible, Arnold. Why don't you go see for yourself?"
That night Arnold went to the docks, and rather than slamming into Helga, or tripping over her foot he found her sitting on one of the docks reciting what sounded like poetry. Come to think of it, this wasn't the first time he heard her go on private tangents like this, but he never listened to one closely. He crept up quietly to get a closer listen, and his heart sped up the moment he heard his name.
"... you're the wind beneath my tattered wings, the warmth that melts my frosty interior, my age old love, my only love. Oh Arnold, if only I could swallow my pride and petty insults I would reveal the secrets of my aching heart. How I love-"
For some reason Brainy came out of nowhere, walked up to her and stopped directly behind her, only to be met by her fist. He flew back into the river, and Helga stopped reciting. Arnold's heart was still pounding, and his cheeks were practically on fire. There was no way this wasn't some sort of bad dream, or mistake. It was absolutely insane! Helga of all people shouldn't have a crush on him.
Though the poetry in his locker and the poetry he heard from her were remarkably similar, and he gathered what was unmistakably an account of her love for him.
It had to be a mistake, though. This was Helga, after all, but Gerald had two very good points. First of all, she was the only girl he found at the docks each night. Second of all, anything was possible. He supposed this was also possible. He could always tell that Helga wasn't a mean person deep down, but she made it so easy to forget that considering how mean she could be. Still, he never considered that she might LIKE him-like him. Moreso, he never questioned his own feelings about her. He never hated her, just the things she said. He wished she'd try being nicer, more honest about her feelings. Who knew honesty would lead to this, though?
"What are you looking at, hair boy?" said Helga, glaring at him as though he were slime. His knee-jerk reaction would be to shrug and walk off, but after hearing what he heard he wasn't so sure that was the right approach. If she couldn't be honest, then he would have to be.
"I'm looking for the girl who wrote this," said Arnold, walking up to Helga and handing her the poem he got this morning. Her eyes bulged one moment, then the next she was back-handing the paper and laughing.
"What is this crap? I've read better poems on the back of cereal boxes. Man, talk about garbage."
"You shouldn't pretend," said Arnold with his arms crossed. She paused and gulped, looking completely vulnerable. It wasn't easy being in love, Arnold knew, but it wasn't fair to either of them for her to continue her little charade.
"What do you mean pretend? You're the one who waved this garbage in my face!" Helga crumpled the poem up and stomped on it. "I don't know what you want from me, Arnoldo, but you've picked a bad day to mess with me."
"Is it ever a good day?" Arnold asked, grabbing her wrist and looking straight into her eyes. "You seem to hate me no matter which day it is."
"What's your point! Crimeny! You're an annoying, meddling, do-goody jerk that pokes your nose where it's not wanted. Of course I hate you. You drive me crazy! Why can't you just stay out of my way?" She yanked her wrist away from his grasp, and he was starting to lose his patience. "And who said you could touch me, anyway?"
"Stop it, Helga!" said Arnold, matching the rising decibel of Helga's voice. "All I'm trying to do is understand what's going on! I keep getting these poems from my "secret admirer," telling me to meet them here, and the only person I run into is you. Not to mention I heard you... "
"Heard me what?" said Helga, her voice wavering. "Heard me what, football head? Spill it, or I'll beat it out of you, bucko!"
"Something about me being the wind beneath your tattered wings." She started backing away from him as he recited the rest of it. Helga cringed, and then screamed at the top of her lungs. A car alarm in the distance went off. He tried to approach her, but she kept walking backward until she reached the edge of the dock and fell into the river. She had half a mind to just drown herself, but Arnold was yelling for her, telling her to swim to shore. The only thing she had left to do was deal with it. Deal with the fact that Arnold had finally overheard her. Deal with the fact that her life was officially over. If only she hadn't slipped those stupid poems into his locker. What was she thinking? She wasn't quite as ready to confess as she thought.
"Here," said Arnold, offering Helga his jacket. She took it, then fell onto her knees trying not to cry. This was the most horrible, embarrassing moment of her life. All she could do was brace herself for his rejection and let a sorrow like no other swallow her whole.
"You must be cold. Why don't I walk you home?" Arnold offered, but got no response. For once, Helga had nothing to say. She was shaking, sobbing, and unwilling to move, or listen to anything Arnold had to say. He thought avoiding the subject would help, but she seemed thoroughly engrossed in ignoring him. She wouldn't even yell at him like she normally would. This was awkward, bizarre, and sad in a way. Oddly, though, the more Arnold thought about it, the more it made sense. She did pay a lot of attention to him, and whenever they were able to put their differences aside the two of them worked well together. Also, they had kissed several times, and each one Helga would make last as long as possible, as though she'd never get another chance. Arnold touched his lips and blushed. He never had been kissed by any other girl. At least not on the lips.
Somehow it seemed wrong to turn her down. Every girl he ever liked-liked never liked him back in that way. Unrequited feelings weren't fun to deal with, and he wouldn't wish them on anyone, not even Helga. What was the right thing to do, though? He never considered being her boyfriend, mostly because she hated him, so he had no reason to. She was capable of being a nice person, and he liked that side of her a lot. If she could stand to be nicer, then he would love to get to know her better, and maybe then he could return her feelings. In fact, he was sure that he could.
"I'm not going to leave you," said Arnold, taking a seat beside her. He didn't know if he should take her hand, or wrap his arm around her. He didn't want her getting mad, but he didn't want her to be alone either. "If you don't want to leave any time soon then we don't have to. We can just, umm, look at the stars."
"Why are you getting so chummy with me, Arnoldo? I don't want you anywhere near me right now. I hate your stupid guts."
"No you don't," said Arnold, relieved that she was starting to act like her old self. This was really getting weird. "To be honest, Helga, I'm really glad that you don't."
"What are you talking about?"
"Well, sometimes you can be a really nice person, and I like that side of you. I like you."
"Yeah? Well, I hate to break it to you, buster, but I don't want this pity party and I don't want you hanging all over me. You can't give me what I want, so the next best thing you can do is shut up, leave me alone, and pretend that none of this ever happened."
"I told you, I'm not leaving you," said Arnold, placing his hand on Helga's. She was freezing, and ought to have been home hours ago. She was going to catch a cold at this rate, but she just didn't care. It was a shame. She just wouldn't listen.
"Why not? All I've ever done is mistreat you and call you names. There's no reason for you to even care about me."
"That's not true." Arnold held her cold hand in both of his and tried to reason with her. "Helga, listen. If you really meant all those things that you said, why don't you just face it? I'm not going to forget about this, and I'm not going to let you bully me around anymore. I think it hurts you more than it hurts me."
"Tch, Arnold, the psychiatrist, come to rescue me from my tormented feelings. Get a load of him as he attempts to fix a problem years in the making. Good luck, bucko, but I'm hopeless. You should just give up."
"No." Arnold held her cold hand to his face. "I don't want to give up.
"This might sound crazy, Helga, but I think part of me actually-"
"Oooh, loooook, it's Arrrnold and Heeelga getting all mushy," said Harold from the street, making obnoxious kissy noises. Who knew why he was riding his bike after sun down, but he couldn't have picked a worse possible day to do so. "Eww, Arnold, is she your girlfriend? I'd rather kiss a monkey's butt than kiss Helga, ahahahaha."
"Tell that to Ol' Betsy, fat boy! They'll be the last words you ever say!" said Helga, charging after Harold all the way down the road. Arnold tried so hard to keep up with her, but he lost her. Maybe she did need her space, but she also needed to face her feelings eventually. In the mean time Arnold had to sort out his own feelings. He just didn't know what to think anymore.
The following morning Arnold had a difficult time keeping his eyes open as he poked at his flap jacks. He didn't sleep well. The only thing he had on his mind was Helga. He wanted to know where she was, what she was doing, whether or not she was all right. She was more than capable of taking care of herself, but she seemed so lost an vulnerable. Arnold had no idea if he'd even be able to help her, but he did know that he wouldn't be able to function properly until he knew she was all right.
"What's eatin' you, short man? You've hardly touched your breakfast," said his grandpa, aiming his fork at Kokoshka's greedy hands just in case he wanted to pick at Arnold's food.
"I guess I'm just not hungry," said Arnold, grabbing his bag. He was about to leave for school when he heard the doorbell ring. He ran to it hoping it was Helga who was all right, but instead it was just Gerald, who wanted to hear the big story about Arnold's secret admirer.
Part of him didn't really want to talk about it, but he just had no idea what to do, and no one to really confide in. He didn't think Helga would be too comfortable with anyone else knowing, but the whole school was bound to find out. After all, .?journal=mediational&itemid=13391rald had the world's biggest mouth, and he wouldn't let either of them live their moment together down. Arnold decided to let Gerald hear his side of the story before he could hear anyone else's.
"And that's what happened," said Arnold, feeling guilty in a way. After all, he insisted that Helga having these feelings was impossible, but Gerald was exactly right. From that moment on he was going to consider her feelings more and not let her attitude get to him. He didn't have to anymore. He knew for sure that it was all just a great, big act.
"Man-oh-man, Arnold. To think, of all people Helga G. Pataki is your secret admirer. Though let's face it, that girl is not exactly girlfriend material. She is just mean. She'd probably just-"
"She was different!" said Arnold, surprised by his emotions. He didn't need to hear all of the reasons in the world not to even consider Helga. He knew. He lived it since the day he met her. She was so mean, bossy, pushy, and unwilling to be friends, so Arnold did her a favor and stayed out of her way for the most part. Now, well, now he couldn't stand to hear one nasty thing about her. "She was so hurt and defensive after I found out, almost like she thought I was just going to reject her."
"Well, you are, aren't you?" said Gerald, as though that were the most reasonable thing to do. "Come on, man. You can't decide to be her boyfriend just because you feel sorry for her. Besides, this is Helga we're talking about here. H-E-L-G-A."
"I know that, but to be honest I do kind of... I don't know. Let's just drop it."
"OK, buddy. Have it your way. There's a new Rage Rider movie coming out in about a week, and I've really been saving up for this one. We'll get popcorn, and malted milk balls, and some of that sticky, chewy stuff that makes our tongues turn blue... "
When Arnold arrived in class he expected to see Helga, whether she wanted to be seen or not. Harold arrived in class without so much as a scraped knee, so she probably didn't catch him. Arnold just hoped she got home OK. Sometimes she came to class late, so he wasn't going to let himself worry about it too much. Of course Harold told everyone what happened, and Stinky and Sid were snickering about it and singing and who knew what else. Arnold just ignored it. He noticed Phoebe a few seats away staring at him, her expression a mix of wonderment and concern. Gerald did Arnold the favor of not bringing up the subject anymore, and somehow Arnold thought that he'd be the only one.
"All right, class. Settle down, now-now Stinky, Sid, please return to your seats. We have some very special poetry to read today... "
The last thing Arnold wanted to hear was poetry.
Later on that day Helga still hadn't showed up. It was pretty obvious that she was taking a sick day, probably to avoid the hassle and the humiliation that would be waiting for her at PS 118. Arnold took the brunt of it for her, doing his best to ignore wolf whistles and verses of "Arnold and Helga sitting in a tree." He hoped everyone got it out of their systems and forgot all about it by the next day.
Lunch was especially awkward. He found an "I luv Helga" sign taped to his back, not to mention that very message scribbled on one of the urinals in the boy's bathroom. The girls seemed to find it amusing. Some swooned and others giggled, but perhaps the most awkward encounter of them all had to be with Lila.
"Oh Arnold. I'm just ever so happy for you and Helga. I always thought that you two would make just the most darling couple."
"But, Lila, we're not-"
"It's so sweet. Just ever so sweet. I promised her I wouldn't tell a soul, but I guess it's OK now. She just adores you, Arnold. She worked so hard on her role as Juliet just so that you could be her Romeo. I was just too happy for her when she got to kiss you. Oh Arnold, she loves you. I'm sure you two will be ever so happy with each other."
"U... uh... thanks Lila."
Whatever chance Arnold had with Lila was completely gone. Not only that, but apparently she knew about Helga's feelings for him for awhile. No wonder they weren't making any progress. She was too nice to take him from Helga.
Strange as it seemed, though, he didn't have it in him to be mad at Helga. It was mostly his fault. He was the one holding her hand and trying to comfort her, while she just wanted to be left alone. He couldn't leave her alone, though. He didn't want her to feel like there wasn't any hope, or like she was going to be rejected. The truth was that Arnold not only didn't want to reject her, he couldn't. Somewhere deep inside of him, he knew that it would be the wrong thing to do. What else could he do, though? Gerald was right, after all. He couldn't be Helga's boyfriend just because he felt sorry for her. That just wouldn't be right.
Arnold returned to class just as confused as ever. He got a spit ball shot into his hair, and for a moment he thought it was Helga and turned around hopefully, only to be greeted by taunts from Harold and the others. He laid his head down on his desk dejected and exhausted. Mr. Simmons played some nature film with relaxing music and Arnold nodded off at once, only intending to rest his eyes for a moment or two. The next thing he knew he was back at the docks sitting with Helga, only Harold wasn't there. Her brisk hand was still pressed onto his cheek, and he nuzzled it and told her not to be afraid. He would help her face her feelings, and she looked at him and smiled. She was so happy, and in the heat of the moment he leaned his face toward hers and kissed her for a full minute for the play, and another full minute for the beach, and another just because. Just because he-
The bell rang just then. School was out, and the only ones left were Phoebe and Mr. Simmons.
"Goodness, Arnold. It isn't like you to fall asleep in class. Are you feeling sick?" asked Mr. Simmons, placing a hand on Arnold's shoulder.
"I guess I didn't sleep well," said Arnold, yawning and rubbing the fuzz out of his eyes. He had to have been asleep for a good two hours to have slept until the bell. That dream he had wasn't doing much for his mental state either. Whether it was the sleep deprivation or his own twisted feelings, one thing was for sure. He would have him and Helga kissing looping through his mind until he tore all of his hair out. Suddenly his life was completely insane.
"Maybe you just need some fresh air and exercise. Phoebe here has graciously offered to take Helga's homework to her. Maybe you'd like to join her." Phoebe waved from the front door, and Arnold stood, bumping his thigh into his desk. He still wanted to make sure Helga was OK, but wasn't quite ready to admit that he wanted to see her just for the sake of seeing her.
He and Phoebe took a nice, quiet walk to the bus stop. She was one of the few people to not bring up the issue as it were, despite being Helga's best friend. She probably knew all about what actually happened, assuming that she was able to get in contact with Helga. Once they got on the bus Arnold just couldn't stand the silence anymore.
"Have you spoken to Helga recently, Phoebe? Say, late last night?"
"She called me at approximately 4:30 this morning," said Phoebe, inquiring him with her eyes. If that were the case then she probably knew everything. She and Helga were best friends after all.
Arnold exhaled with a tremendous amount of relief. He didn't know why he was so worried about her, but just that he was. Part of the reason he couldn't sleep was because he was worried, and also because he was trying to sort out his own feelings. The more he thought about it, the better an idea he had of what those feelings were. He just hoped she'd actually talk to him, rather than shutting him out once more.
"She's convinced that her life is ruined, and has considered never returning to PS 118. I told her to rest and to not think about it today. She was awfully hysterical and distraught. Sometimes Helga gets like this, but I'm worried about her."
"I am, too," said Arnold, bowing his head down. "I wish she'd just talk to me, rather than try to hide it. I don't want her to feel like she isn't wanted, or that I'm just going to reject her."
"What are you saying?" said Phoebe, suddenly more receptive to Arnold's company than before. "Surely you did mean to reject her. It is important for you to be honest about your feelings. I was tagging along in case she needed some comfort."
"Tagging along?"
"You're prone to doing the right thing, Arnold, which is why I assumed that you'd turn her down. You wouldn't lie to her, but you're saying you won't reject her?"
Refusing to reject her was just as good as an outright love confession, and Arnold wasn't sure if he was ready for that kind of pressure. The rest of the school was just being petty, but Phoebe was just looking out for her best friend. He was backed into a corner, and the only thing he wanted to do was wake up to a world where none of this had ever happened.
"I won't. I can't. I'm not entirely sure if I like her-like her to be honest, but I'm not entirely sure if I don't, either. I just want to see her and tell her it's OK. I'm happy she feels the way she does, because I never wanted her to hate me in the first place."
Phoebe took a moment to consider his words, then nodded. It seemed perfectly reasonable to her that he'd be confused. Perhaps he'd always had a crush on Helga, but those feelings were stifled by her mock hatred and random insults. She supposed that anything was possible, and that a visit with Arnold would probably be the best thing for Helga. With that in mind, Phoebe took Helga's books and homework from her bag and placed them on Arnold's lap.
"Perhaps you two won't be needed me after all," said Phoebe, smiling up at Arnold. "This is her stop, Arnold."'
"O-oh."
"One thing before you go," she said, taking the sleeve of his sweater into her fist. She clenched her free fist and glared at him. "If you break her heart I'll clobber ya!"
Arnold flinched, and headed toward the exit.
Phoebe returned to her calm and meek demeanor in an instant. "Good day, Arnold."
After that less that settling exchange with Phoebe, Arnold had no idea how he was going to be able to face Helga. He hadn't put much thought into it, mostly hoping she'd show up to class and threaten to rip the tongues out of Harold, Stinky, and Sid's mouths. Since that didn't happen, he would have to be the one to face her. He was used to taking on difficult problems, but this one was a beast. Not only were Helga's feelings on the line, but so were his. Their relationship was going to change completely for better, or for worse, and he hoped Helga would be able to accept that. Moreso, he hoped he would be able to accept that as well.
Before he knew it he was at the Pataki's front door, hesitant to ring the bell. It took him a few minutes, but he finally forced his finger to the bell. No one responded, so he rang the bell again, figuring Helga's mom was probably dragging herself to the door after a nap behind the couch.
It seemed he was on target with that assumption, as Mrs. Pataki answered the door with mussed hair, crooked glasses, and an unhappy expression. She adjusted her glasses and stared down at him for a few moments before recognizing him.
"Oh, hi there. Yooou must be Helga's little friend," she said, punctuating herself with a yawn. "Archie? Is that your name?"
"Actually, it's Arnold."
"Oh yes, Arnold. Now I remember you. You're that sweet boy that helped Helga out that one time. She's upstairs. Said she had soul... soul swapping-"
"Soul searching?"
"Oh yes, but I think it's just her tummy acting up again, so I let her stay home. She has to take this medication for her bowels sometimes."
"Umm," said Arnold, shaking his head and pretending he didn't hear that. "Is it all right if I go upstairs and give Helga her homework?"
"Sure, come make yourself at home," said Miriam, stepping aside so Arnold could come in. He knew Helga had some, OK, many issues with her family, but he supposed he could get used to it. Her mom was nice enough, even if she was a space cadet that drank a few too many smoothies.
He found Helga's door and knocked on it a few times, but got no response. He tried and tried, and eventually got "Yes, Miriam, I took my medicine, now go away!"
"Actually, Helga, it's me," said Arnold, swallowing nervously. "I have your homework, and I'd really like to talk to you. Would you please let me in?"
He was met with a harsh jab of silence once more. He could hear movement, the ruffling of trash bags, and a few hiccups, but nothing that suggested that Helga was going to come out, or allow him in. He knocked again, and Helga had thrown something against the door. Well, that was good. She at least knew he was there. All that was left to do was was convince her to come talk.
"All right, Helga. Have it your way. If you won't let me in then I'll just sit right outside of your door until you're ready to speak. I'll sit here all night if I have to."
The silence was unrelenting. He indeed sat until his butt fell asleep and he had completed all of his homework. He was so bored he almost pulled Helga's homework out and started doing hers. What would it matter if she planned on never going to PS 118 ever again? No, she would have to. Arnold wanted her to have the courage to face her feelings once and for all. After all, he was ready to face his. So ready, that he didn't care if her mom, or anyone in the entire world heard what he needed to get off his chest.
"If you don't want to talk to me, then just listen," Arnold's stomach growled, and he noticed that the house was starting to get dark. "I didn't come here to make fun of you, or even to turn you down. To be honest, Helga, I'm just really confused. I have a lot of different thoughts and feelings about this. The only thing I know for sure is that I'm glad you don't hate me. I never understood why you hated me, or what I did to deserve it. Sometimes I wished you'd just disappear and leave me alone for good.
"But other times I'd see a whole other side of you. There's a side of you that's selfless and kind, and I know that you're a good person, even if you try to hide it. I really wish you wouldn't hide it, though, because that's the side of you that I... "
Helga yanked her bedroom door open and grabbed a fist full of Arnold's shirt, holding him up against the wall. "Not another word, Arnold. I told you, I don't want your pity and your sap and your slop. I already know that you don't like me-like me. I know I'm not as pretty, or charming, or nice, or funny, or appealing as little Miss Li-la, or Ruth, or Olga, or any of them, and I never will be. I'm just me, and that's all I'm ever gonna be. I'm mean, and I'm bossy, and I don't take crap from anyone. I don't dress nice. Heck, I couldn't give two slime balls about my appearance, and yes. Most of all I'm a big, stupid coward who's too afraid to face my own feelings."
Helga let go of Arnold, dropped an oddly familiar locket with Arnold's picture on the floor, and continued to rant, pacing back and forth and hugging herself every so often.
"I've loved you since the day I met you. No one in my family cared about me, but you were one of the first people I remember to treat me with actual kindness. To this day you're still one of the only people to treat me with any kindness, and what do I do? I push you away, insult you, belittle you, and disregard you all because I was too afraid of you finding out my secret. I'm a hopeless, broken wreck. I've depended on you for comfort and contentment more than you can possibly image. I've built shrines to you, written hundreds of poems about you, and dream of you constantly. I'm completely obsessed with you. It's crazy! I'm crazy! I must be crazy to think someone as wonderful and caring as you could possibly... possibly... "
Once more she fell to her knees, with lack of anything more to add to this. She had completely exposed herself to him, but she was still too afraid to face him. To be honest, Arnold didn't know how to respond to any of that. He was, however, able to get the clasp on the locket open and read the inscription. She was completely serious, more serious than he had ever seen her. It was unnerving to face someone who had loved him so long and so deeply, but was just too afraid to speak a word of it. No wonder she was always angry. The pent up frustration must have been insane.
This was completely crazy, but comforting in a strange way. He felt more assured that his own thoughts and feelings weren't misplaced, and that maybe, just maybe being with Helga was exactly the right thing to do. It wasn't because he felt sorry for her, or because he felt pressured. He simply liked Helga, well, more than liked her. A part of him always had. It was just a part of him that he mostly ignored, seeing as she seemed to hate him. Now that he was sure that she didn't, there was no use denying his feelings any longer.
"The only person you've been belittling this entire time is yourself," said Arnold, handing her locket back to her. She smacked it aside and refused to look at him.
"Come on, Helga. You have a lot of good qualities, but you're just too embarrassed to own up to them. You don't have to be like Lila, or Olga to be a good person. You may say mean things, and you'll probably continue to say mean things, but I've seen you do incredible things for other people, too. When it counts, you always do the right thing.
"I like that about you, Helga. I think you're really strong and dedicated, and that you really care about people. That's what really counts."
"Enough already," said Helga, shoving her balled fists into the floor. "No matter what you say about me, that won't change anything! Great, so you see this whole other dimension of me, my motives, what makes me act the way I do. Big deal. It doesn't change the fact that you only came here to tell me that we'll never be together because just about every other girl in the world is better than I am. Skip ahead to that part already and get out of my life forever."
She started to cry. She'd been holding it in for so long, but once the tears started to fall Arnold could feel his own throat clenching up. Was there nothing he could say to make this all OK? He was being completely sincere, and he needed her to see that. He had stressed that her actions meant a lot more to him that her words. Maybe she was right. Maybe it wasn't words that she needed, but some kind of sign. Anything that would express his feelings for her properly.
He could only think of one thing. Flashes from his dream began permeating in his mind. One minute he was comforting Helga, the next minute he was kissing her, and they were both incredibly happy. Life wasn't a dream, but sometimes the two had to work together to make things right. Arnold took the risk. He leaned in and kissed Helga for all he was worth. He could taste her tears on his lips, and feel the hesitation in her grunts. He took her shoulders in his hands and squeezed them as he pressed his lips harder into hers until their teeth were touching. Kisses probably shouldn't have been quite that hard, since his lips were starting to ache and saliva was trickling down his mouth. It was kind of gross, but love was messy.
Helga's sniffles, hiccups, and retorts all died in that kiss, and when they separated she looked as though she had just been kissed by a handsome stranger. She wasn't sure what to say, or what to feel, but was terribly tempted to run. Good thing Arnold had such a tight grip on her. He told her he wouldn't leave her. This time he really meant it.
"This is what I've been trying to say all along, to you, to Gerald, to Phoebe. Maybe you are flawed, and maybe my feelings for you aren't as certain as your feelings for me. I do know one thing, though. There is definitely a part of me that saw through all of it. I want to get to know you better, Helga. If you're feeling sad or angry, I want you to come talk to me, or even just take it out on me like you normally do. I want you to do whatever it takes to feel comfortable around me, because I don't want to pretend that none of this ever happened. I'm glad this happened, because even if it's just a small part of me, I know it's a part that loves you, too."
Helga's bottom lip trembled, and then she smacked herself.
"What'd you do that for?" said Arnold, cupping her cheek with his palm.
"I had to be sure I wasn't dreaming. I've longed for this for so long and so hard that I'll absolutely die if this isn't real."
"This is as real as it gets." Arnold stood and offered her his hand. "Come on. How about we find some food. I'm starving."
"OK, if you think you can stomach the slop Miriam calls food."
"It can't be any worse than my grandma's cooking."
The two of them shared a laugh and headed down stairs, both unwilling to part hands anytime soon.
The next morning was rainy and grey, but that didn't put a damper on Arnold's mood. He slept deep and well, and woke up feeling refreshed and content. When he thought about it the previous day couldn't have gone more perfectly. He and Helga were both able to face their feelings, and it felt just plain good to have that cleared up between them. He hadn't quite anticipated getting a new girlfriend out of that whole fiasco, but that's what ended up happening. He helped prepare dinner, helped her with her homework, and helped her with the trash in her room. Apparently they were pieces of shrines she had dedicated to him, but since she had the real thing she wouldn't be needing them anymore. That was a relief. She said she was keeping the locket and the poetry, though, and he even took some of it with him to read. They were very good.
He ate an entire plate of flap jacks and even a helping of bacon. When the doorbell rang he threw his bag over his shoulder and ran to the door. He couldn't wait to tell Gerald the news, and wondered if there'd be room for one more at Rage Rider. Arnold didn't just want to work on his relationship with Helga, but also his friendship.
Speaking of which, it wasn't Gerald waiting for him at the door, but Helga. She looked a little uncertain, and she was getting drenched in the rain since her umbrella had been blown away. That was no problem. Arnold opened his, and they walked to school together underneath it, just as they did on the day they first met.
END