DISCLAIMER: I don't own The Mighty Boosh, it belongs to its rightful owners :-)

It was a beautiful Monday morning in Dalston, England, and the Zooniverse was raging with an unusually high amount of visitors. There were many different visitors doing different things, children pulled at their parents trousers to go see different animals, others found great opportunities to ask their lover "Will you marry me?" at the zoo, an unusual place to propose, but perfect for animal lovers. The rest just liked to have fun looking at the animals while on a field trip.

Bob Fossil and Dixon Bainbridge were in their office gossiping about the employees and how they worked, most importantly, they were coming up with a plan to get Joey Moose fired.

"Okay Bainbridge, I figured it out. We can drug him and make him talk to the kids about porn!" he said. "That's too complicated, try another plan!" Bainbridge demanded. He was getting impatient after hearing exactly 312 plans in 2 hours. "I'm doing the best I can! Why did we even hire him?" Mr. Fossil asked after tossing the most recent plan on the floor. Then, Bainbridge let out the words that Bob would never forget about every business. "Every business has a douche bag."

That made him think about the plans. "Maybe we should stop picking on poor old Moose. Besides, he won't matter because I have something -" getting cut off, Bainbridge marveled at the many visitors. "We have an unusually large amount of visitors today don't we Fossil?" he asked. "Yes sir…".

Suddenly, Naboo entered the office. "Where's my frog?" he asked. "You smoked it last night!" Fossil answered. "Oh yeah… That was a good frog." You could see that Bainbridge and Fossil were annoyed with his his high attitude. "Never mind the frogs!" Yelled Bainbridge. "We need to focus on many things before the day's out."

"Now Fossil, what were you going to say?"

"I'll save it until we get outside."

Outside was lovely. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Marvelous. The visitors seemed to enjoy the animals as the entertained them with their never-ending amounts of toys and props. Even though there were very few animals, they enjoyed them. Look at Bollo in his tire swing. Some like the Pandas best, some like the Elephants best, but most of the visitors like him best. Mostly because he spent years in the jungle, circus, and in several zoos. Finally, he settled in the Zooniverse where is the favorite among visitors. He doesn't overshadow any other animals though. Visitors loved the Elephants, the Cow, and even the aquatic displays. The visitors look upon the animals while we take a look at Mrs. Gideon. She sits near the mighty Cobra with all the attention she has in her. "You sure are a beautiful one" she says sweetly to the Cobra, who she calls "Celia". The snakes had been calm for hours, even when there were a ton of visitors.

We return outside to see that the employees are working hard for today's shift. It was not going to be easy.

Suddenly. The postman arrived with a huge wooden box with air holes. The employees looked at the box in awe, wondering what was in it.

The postman took the box to the Reptile House. Mrs. Gideon was waiting at the door. "Here you are Mrs. Gideon, but be careful now, this is one of the rarest creatures in the world." the postman advised her.

"I will make sure he's happy here." she said. After her guarantee of the snake's satisfaction, the postman left to deliver other letters and packages to other people.

Mrs. Gideon carefully opened the box, put some gloves on, and took out the long, beautiful creature with the innermost care. He was an enthralling shade of gold with a touch of ruby and amber blended in, his eyes were emerald green. The postman was right, this was a rare type of animal and she had to be careful with it. "Oh how I wish I could take you home with me and keep you in my garden!" Mrs. Gideon cried. She did have a large cage for some type of animal, she wanted to keep that amazing creature that was in the box in front of her, but she also knew that an animal that rare should be kept at the zoo. "If you're going to be at the zoo, you should have a name." Mrs. Gideon said to the unnamed creature. "I'll call you… Diamond. Because you're so beautiful."

She put Diamond back in the wooden box and gathered up some scattered tools from the closet by the doors to start making an impressive tank. Diamond slithered around in the box, out of happiness.

We return to the outside of the Zooniverse where many visitors are enthralled by the animals. They are performing tricks now and eating healthy. While the visitors peered at the many different animals, Vince and Howard sat on the bench and argued about which chocolate was the best.

"Milk chocolate's the best!" Vince argued

"Oh mere chocolate."

"Come on Howard. I know you love it!"

"No I don't!"

"Well I love chocolate! It's the best thing since Raspberry bootlaces!"

"What's the big deal about milk chocolate?"

"Mick Jagger eats it!"

"Here we go again." Howard thought in his head. Ever since Vince found out that Mick Jagger ate milk chocolate, he was in a frenzy.

"I eat it, and I bet if he knew I existed, he would kiss me!"

"You just ate 13 bars you berk!"

"But I love it…"

Vince loved chocolate more than anything in the entire world. Howard thought that it was just unhealthy and didn't want to get into this argument in the first place. However, Vince was right about him loving chocolate, during his childhood, he would eat a few pieces at Christmas or any other holiday.

"Well… Okay. I guess I do love chocolate."

"Cool! Which one?"

Howard couldn't say "which one" there were so many, but he had to support his friend after he ate a shocking 13 bars of chocolate. Maybe milk chocolate was the best and he just had to give up?

"Okay, milk chocolate's the best."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"You're not just saying that."

"No. If Mick Jagger eats it, then you should eat it."

"Wow! So this means I win!" Vince cheered.

"Alright. You got me. But there is another chocolate that's way better!" Howard declared.

"Ooo! What is it!" Vince asked, sounding like a little boy and Howard was his father.

"The better chocolate is -."

Suddenly, before he could say what the best chocolate was, an announcement came on the

loudspeaker. It was Bob Fossil. "All staff please report to the front gate immediately. Thank you."

Everyone gathered at the front gate, Vince and Howard were the last ones to arrive. As they followed Fossil's orders, Howard gazed adoringly at Mrs. Gideon, who was walking by. "What? Are you spying on Gideon?" Vince teased. "No." Howard replied nervously.

Bob Fossil noticed them talking and stopped them immediately. "Hey blockheads? Could you two stop talking so I can get on with my announcement? This is important for all of you!" He answered seriously "You too Joey Moose!". After seeing the seriousness of the announcement, at last, everyone let Mr. Fossil speak.

"I've got big news!".

AN: Review please, your thoughts make my day :-)