Diary of a Khorne Berzerker
By: Danny Pic

Hello there!

Ok, so I recently got a review for my Diary of a Chaos Marine story; the guy pointed out that my story wasn't really a CHAOS marine's diary, since he's not a follower of Chaos. So it got me thinking, what would a real chaos Marine write a Diary about? Furthermore, what type of Chaos Marine would, of all things, decide to write a DIARY?
…and immediately, this is what came to mind. lol

EDIT: Alright, I've done a bit more research into the Khorne Berserkers, the Gods of Chaos, and several other things. I'm now fairly sure I can get into the mood of this story now. I've updated the first chapter, so hopefully this puts things in a better setting and is better to read than the previous attempt.

Again, I must stress, I OWN NUTHIN! (Well, aside from the characters I create, and the places that I make up.)
Now…enjoy the madness! 8D

Diary of a Khorne Berzerker from a small, wandering Warband
Descended from World Eaters genestock.

Warband Information:
Origins: a splinter group seperated from the main legion.
Battle Cry: none
Occupied Worlds: none; Warband is nomadic, and travels wherever it can; currently, warband resides in Warp
Other Notes: known to engage in acts of piracy; few to no transports; lost only ship in planetary assault.

Day 1 - year 443 of M41

Nyurgh…I'm so sick and tired of this. I mean, all I ever hear from my comrades is "Blood for the Blood God!", "Skulls for the Skull Throne!", or stuff like that. I miss having someone intelligent to talk to! Does anybody here know who Shakespeare is? No! I'm the only one who does, damnit!

Ugh…well, guess that's out for now. Nothing's really happened yet; Jorge got his head stuck in the dryer again. Pfft…that never gets old. *chuckles* Ah…I love seeing the misery of those around me. Brings a smile to my face every time.

…guess I'll write more when I think of something.

.

Day 2

Not much has happened so far. Everyone's either polishing weapons, fighting each other, or eating/drinking.
…urgh, no, I'm lying. They never clean their weapons, the idiots! Sure, bloody stuff is good to scare folks with, but what if something breaks? Nobody here knows how to fix crap!

On a side note, I placed an order for a heavy bolter today. Sure, I won't be getting blood all over me, but try saying that when I'm making the ground and everything else explode into shrapnel and dust with a freaking huge gun! THEN who'll be laughing? ME! CUZ I'LL HAVE KILLED THINGS! HA HA HAAA!

…wow…where'd that come from?

Anyway, so my heavy bolter should be arriving within the week. Good think I saved up all that cash I got from the bodies we leave after every raid. Heh heh…

And of course, I'll be taking care of my weapon!

…aw, who am I kidding? I'm just as lazy as they are…but I WILL be checking the ammo supply!

.

Day 3

Damn. My nose has been feeling stuffy, and I've been getting a serious headache.

…pretty sure the headache is from lack of caffeine, but the stuffy nose, no. I hope I'm not getting sick; that means I won't enjoy the slaughter as much as I usually would.

…then again, I'm sure they planned on it, so that I'd get pissed off.

…Khorne, my head hurts…that's the downside for anyone who drinks nothing but soda every day – when it runs out, you're left with a splitting headache that keeps you up late at night, and forces you to go buy more…

…stupid soda company, making such an addictive drink that makes you suffer, so you'll buy more…

…hmm…now that I think about it, that actually sounds like a good idea. I might try that!

I'll have to think of a catchy name, though…hm…

.

Day 4

Still nothing eventful happening. Used up all my spare cash on that heavy bolter, so I've got no cash left to get me more soda. Thus, I am still left with a splitting headache.

This headache's making me much more irritable than usual. Someone passed me in the hall and said something so innocent and casual to me, and I completely…just made his life…
…DAMNIT! My headache's keeping me from thinking of words!

Alright, that's it! I'm getting some guys together, taking a ship, and we're going to raid someplace for some soda! I'm gonna get my carbonated beverage, even if I have to SLASH EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE IN MY PATH!

I guess I won't be able to write for long times, since we'll be fighting. I don't care, though; I've gotta vent on something, and frankly, paper doesn't spill blood or frantic, desperate screams when you rip it into pieces.

Ok, got this travel brochure out. Let's see what places are open…
…hmm…this little planet called "Abont" looks nice. Minimal security, lots of cities and towns...oh! Has the Warp's only natural year-round skating rink! That sounds interesting!

Allright, looks like cold, frozen Abont will get a visit…from Santa Khorne!

Heh….heh….heh heh…yeeeeaaahhh…

.."Khorn-a Kola"? ...naaaah...

.

Day 5

Crap baskets. I was about to pack up for the trip when I remembered that we lost our only ship while travelling here. Damn...and I really wanted to see Abont...

...covered in blood, that is. Heh heh...

Man...this headache is KILLING me! I need some caffeine, now! Dang, I wish we'd had a transport or something, so we could move somewhere to get stuff!
Word of advice: NEVER sacrifice your transport, no matter how small it is. You'll end up being unable to go anywhere when you're done with where you are.

Hang on, the champ's saying something.

...there's a small division of Chaos Marines heading to this place? In a ship?
That's excellent! When they land, we can kill them, take their ship, and make our way to wherever we want!

...well, as long as they aren't friendly, we'll be good.

...oh, who am I kidding? We'll kill 'em all anyway! Ha ha!

Alright, from what the champ said, they're from a warband called the "Company of Doom".
Huh...how generic a name for a Chaos warband...
Anyway, once they land, we'll see what exactly they like to use in a fight. The suckers...they won't stand a chance, either way...

...Aha! "AB-plus soda!"
...no, too complex a name. Think something simple...

.

End of part 1

A/N: So how'd I do? What'd you all think?
Sorry it's so short and...awkward. I'm just trying to get a basic concept going; think of this as the prologue while I get into the feel of the story. '^^

Yeah, figured I'd make him a cynical, grumpy whiner…with a subtle bloodlust. Lol
Ah…fun! ^^

Alright, so you know, I have no idea if I'll push this farther than a few more chapters, since I've already got another Diary story going. But if this gets good reviews and likes, I might keep it going. So lemme know what you all think. ^^