Hy there! Well... the idea of the story has been bugging me for quite a while now, and I didn't know if I should start it, but my muse won. It was originally a one-shot between Ratchet and Optimus (the beginning of the chapter), but then it started evolving, and I pretty much have it planned out now... Yeah. Here is the result.
I.
It had gone wrong. He should have known better.
Ratchet would have laughed at himself had he not been leaning over a waste bucket, waiting for his tank to empty itself. He must have been a pathetic sight and he was glad he was alone in his quarters. This hangover was probably just the right punishment for him for being so careless again, but he knew it was too late thinking what he should and should not have done - here was the result and he had to deal with it now.
But not just the hangover. The shame as well.
The Autobot medic took a deep breath and sat down again next to the bucket, leaning with his back to the wall. Still nothing came up, just this agonizing nausea and the headache which just made it worse. He deserved it. Optimus had faith in him and he failed it - again. He thought he had more self-control, but the old addiction was still stronger than him, and he hated this weakness.
It was Jack's birthday party; though, his seventeenth birthday had been a month before, because of the Decepticons' recent activities they could only celebrate it now. They agreed on a quiet party and allowed the teenagers - at least Miko and Jack, with June's permission - a small amount of alcohol and themselves a little high-grade that Bulkhead and Bumblebee found, Primus knew how. Ratchet did not think about it for too long. They all knew to not get drunk since they always had to be alert, but one cube of high-grade didn't hurt anyone.
Ratchet was offered a cube that he knew he should have refused, but thought it would be impolite when everyone else raised their cubes or glasses to celebrate Jack's birthday. He thought he would stop at that, especially since he made a promise to himself to stay sober and reliable; after all, he was the team's only medic, he always had to be ready to help anyone in need. However, one cube became two, then three, then five - he began to feel happy and light-headed and enjoyed himself more than he did in years. No harm done. He did not lose his sense of reality and didn't have to be supported back to his berth, he was aware and remembered everything, especially the look Optimus gave him towards the end of the party.
A look of worry and disappointment. He failed to overcome his weakness again. Now he payed for it.
When his tank gave a sudden lurch, he got up again and leaned over the bucket. His vents cycled air heavily and he coughed, but still nothing. It was too early in the morning and most of the others were still recharging, which was a good thing. He didn't want any witnesses to his humiliating defeat.
Except that he had forgotten to lock the door before he fell into recharge.
Ratchet closed his optics and groaned when he felt a large hand rest gently on his back. He didn't even hear the door being opened, but had a guess who it was. Optimus stood calmly next to him and supported him with one hand, for which, Ratchet realized, he was grateful - his legs were shaking like crazy and he still felt weak.
"I know." Ratchet murmured.
"Better out than in." Optimus said quietly, his voice sounded a bit tired as if he himself had just come out of recharge, too.
Ratchet sighed deeply, leaning more against the bucket. "Say it to my tank."
"Why not help it a little?"
"That would not be fair."
"You rather suffer?" Optimus' voice was still gentle and Ratchet just hummed. He sat down again and closed his optics. He knew by the sounds that the Prime had sat down as well and would probably not move or leave him alone as long as he didn't get better. Ratchet opened his optics and met with Optimus' bright cyan ones that were looking at him with forgiving kindness. The medic hated this at the moment. Optimus should have been angry with him, should have told him how disappointed he was, but instead he just sat there with a gentle hand on Ratchet's shoulder that he didn't have the strenght to shake off.
"Why am I not getting the lecture?" he mumbled, but already felt energon burning the back of his throat.
"This 'hangover' you're having speaks for itself." Optimus answered patiently, "And you have already heard everything I would say. I don't think I would have to repeat myself."
"Why aren't you angry?" the medic grumbled again, the growing dizziness really didn't help his churning tanks. He breathed heavily and closed his optics.
"I am," he heard Optimus say, "but I believe you are angry enough at yourself for the two of us right now."
Ratchet retched and a hand shot to his mouth. Optimus grabbed the bucket immediately and put it in Ratchet's lap just before he finally purged the contents of his tank. He remained hunched over the bucket for a while, feeling light-headed still until Optimus lifted it gently from his lap and helped him to his feet. "I can walk." Ratchet mumbled, "I'll just wash up and see to the computers. I guess the room is still a mess."
"Actually," said Optimus behind him, "we cleaned up after you left to recharge. Are you feeling better?"
Ratchet humphed. "How do I look?" he muttered, causing his leader to sigh and shake his head.
"Alright, but if you remain unwell, stay in your quarters and rest. We can manage the GroundBridge."
The medic waved his hand, grabbed the bucket and made his way to the wash racks. He swayed slightly as Optimus watched him go, but the Prime knew better than to go after him. That would just make things worse, so he just raised the sensitivity of his audios and kept them on his long-time friend in case he collapsed. Optimus sighed as he thought back to how many times he had to deal with Ratchet overcharged, sometimes even unable to speak clearly, and thought sadly that it was experience that made him do this.
Ratchet didn't collapse, but he did purge again and Optimus winced at the sound. He knew it would be no use telling him to rest as long as he still had the strenght to drag himself to the computers; Ratchet had to be in really bad shape to go and rest on his own. And besides, Optimus tried to tell himself, it was just a hangover, the medic had worse. He was stubborn and knew what to do to make himself better.
The others emerged from their recharge, too, and Ratchet also came out of the wash racks just as June's car pulled in. Jack and Miko climbed out slowly, it looked like they had just awoken. June, on the other hand, did not look tired and was smiling.
"I thought we would help clean up if we missed something last night." the nurse said kindly.
"Thank you, Mrs. Darby-"
"June."
"Thank you, June," Optimus told her gently, "but everything is in order. There is nothing more that needs to be done."
"See, mom?" Jack exclaimed from the couch, "I told you! You should have let us sleep longer."
This earned a chuckle from Arcee. She could just imagine June waking up her rather unwilling son to go with her and help the Autobots with the remaining mess, after all, it was his party, and Miko was just the other victim of June's insistence - it seemed they let Raf sleep it out, and Bumblebee transformed to go and pick him up once he awoke. It was Saturday, and Arcee knew Jack hated it when he had to get up early on Saturday.
"And how are you anyway?" June asked as she climbed the stairs to join the two teenagers on the couch. She was free until noon, and she couldn't deny that she liked to be there with these strange beings, especially since Ratchet opened up to her enough to let her learn about their biology and medicine. It fascinated her and she was more than willing to help when Ratchet asked the same from her, especially after Raf came back to base injured.
"Very good." Bulkhead answered her as he stretched, sending metallic klicks along his limbs. "I haven't felt so good in a long time."
"Really, June," it was Arcee this time with a small smile on her face, "thank you for letting us hold this party. We needed that."
"I agree." nodded Optimus, "We could finally relax together and distract ourselves from the constant threat."
He cast a worrying glance at Ratchet who was standing before the computers, leaning heavily on the keyboard. He looked like he was fighting to stay conscious, but his pride kept him from sitting down or go back to his quarters. June frowned and walked over to him.
"Hey, Ratchet," she called to him gently, "is everything alright?"
"Yes." the medic grumbled, "I'm fine."
Optimus walked over to him and Ratchet felt his large hand rest on his shoulder again. That was when the others also walked up to him as if they had just noticed he was there.
"Ratchet, you look awful." Miko cocked her head to the side, earning a glare from the Autobot.
"Yeah, and was it you purging in the wash racks this morning?" Bulkhead joined.
Ratchet sighed angrily and straightened up. He closed his optics for a moment to chase away the dizziness that hit him and tried to lean to Optimus' arm as little as possible. He really didn't want the others to crowd around him and keep asking him if he was alright. He already had enough of that and he always hated when others were worried about him; he was the medic, it was his job to take care of others and not the other way around.
"Okay, everybody," he finally said, but Optimus did not let go of him, "I am fine. It's just a simple... hangover, as the humans call it. It will pass soon."
"Hangover?" Jack interrupted, there was a confused frown on his face, "But you weren't even drunk! Okay, you drank a few cubes, but... you didn't look drunk. Just relaxed."
"I'm good at keeping it hidden." Ratchet murmured and saw Arcee's eyes widen. Her optics met Optimus' and looked at him apologetically. Of course, she had known about Ratchet's past, the period of his life when he struggled to stay sober, but managed to fight his addiction and didn't have a drop of high-grade ever since they arrived on Earth - not as if he could, anyway. She should have known to take care of that, keep an eye on him, but she didn't. Neither of them did.
"Ratch," she told him gently, "we can watch the computers for you-"
"No, no!" the medic protested and turned back to the screens. "It keeps me distracted."
No one asked him any more, for which Ratchet was grateful. Arcee sighed, but knew it would just make the mech angrier if they kept offering him their help. He wouldn't accept it, even if it was the end of the world. And she couldn't travel back in time to prevent Ratchet from getting overcharged again - she just hoped he wasn't making himself any sicker.
Ratchet was glad he was left alone for the time being. He checked the systems and sensor for anything unusual, but couldn't find any. He sighed in relief as the dizziness ceased somewhat, but he still felt weak, weaker than he should have - maybe something was wrong after all. He had hangovers in the past and he could tell this time something was different. He felt strange, he couldn't have explained why, but it seemed he wasn't the only one who had noticed something was wrong.
"Ratchet," June's quiet voice filled his audios and he took a step forward to lean against the railing, laying his head on his hand. He looked at the human nurse and let her continue, "I have seen drunk and intoxicated people before in the emergency room and you were far from that. Are you sure it's just a simple hangover?"
"I asked myself the same question." Ratchet answered, his voice sounded gentle for once. "But, this is something you don't know about me. I... consumed plenty of high-grade energon in the past and sometimes it was... quite bad. I stopped after a while, but I think my tanks were damaged enough by that time. That's why now it's... worse than before."
"I see." June said, she didn't look angry at all. She put a hand on Ratchet's metallic finger, as if to reassure him. "Don't you-"
Her voice was cut off by the sudden beeping of one of the sensors on the computer. Ratchet straightened up, but regretted the movement immediately as it sent another dizzy spell through his processor. He tried to steady himself and concentrate on the screen.
"Energon?" asked Jack and the Autobots gathered around the computer as well.
"Yes." Ratchet answered, but couldn't keep his voice from wavering. Stars filled his vision and he felt like he was going to purge again.
"The coordinates are set." he heard Optimus' voice dimly from the side. The Prime opened the GroundBridge, "Get some rest, Ratchet. Our human friends can handle the Bridge."
"Yeah, Doc Bot, we'll be fine." Miko joined in with a smile. Bulkhead was a bit surprised the Japanese girl didn't try to persuade them to take her, too, but figured she might just be still tired, since June did not let them have their rest in the morning.
"Alright then. Roll out!" Optimus said, but before he transformed to follow Arcee and Bulkhead, he turned back to Ratchet. He didn't like the way he was shaking and holding his head in his servo. "Are you sure you will manage alone?"
"I just... need to sit do-"
However, he never finished his sentence. Ratchet's body froze and his optics rolled back as a high-pitched, wheeze-like sound emitted from his vocals as his vents forced the air they cycled out, and a moment later he collapsed on the floor, his body twitching violently. June was the first to react - she had seen such a thing numerous times.
"Optimus!" she shouted, "roll him to the side and hold him down! You two, go out!"
Jack and Miko both stood frozen in shock and just starred at Ratchet until June's stern voice brought them back to reality. Jack knew that look in his mother's eyes and grabbed Miko's arm to take her with himself out of the main room - it wasn't the time for arguing with June and he thought the only way to make it easier for all of them was to obey her order.
At the same time, June ran up to the computer to contact the two Autobots who had already gone through the GroundBridge, "Arcee, Bulkhead!"
"Yes, June?" Arcee's voice answered, "Is there a problem? Optimus-"
"Optimus is staying." the nurse told her in a hurry, "Ratchet collapsed, he needs to help him. I'm closing the Bridge."
There was a moment of silence on the other side of the link before Arcee spoke again, her voice low with worry, "Alright, we'll handle this. We'll be back as soon as possible."
June pulled the handle and closed the Bridge before hurrying down the stairs to join Optimus. The big Autobot held the medic as he still twitched, he didn't even dare move and kept his optics on his struggling friend. He didn't know what else he could do, and there was not much June could do either, especially since Ratchet was much bigger than her.
"Alright, Optimus." she tried to reassure him, doing the only thing she could now, "It'll be over soon."
"What can I do?" asked the Prime, his voice was quiet and low and had a twinge of fear in it that June had never heard before.
"Nothing." the nurse answered him, "Just hold him. It is a seizure, and... hold his head up!"
Optimus did so when energon gushed out of the unconscious medic's mouth as his body seized up, but after that Ratchet seemed to calm down, his twitching slowly ceased and he went limp. June heaved a sigh of relief, but both she and Optimus remained still for a few more minutes, the Prime still held the other mech in his arms as if he was afraid the seizure would start again if he let go. But it didn't - Ratchet eventually opened his optics with a groan and coughed when he felt the bitter taste of unprocessed energon in his mouth.
"Ratchet?" it was Optimus, he recognized his voice and when his vision cleared, Ratchet could see the bigger Autobot leaning down to him.
"I passed out, huh?" the medic asked with a hoarse voice after a while and eyed the puddle of energon beside his face with a frown, "And purged... I guess everyone saw it?"
"No," June answered her, "we're alone. I thought you wouldn't want anyone to see it."
"Nice of you." Ratchet murmured and pushed himself up carefully with his servos. Optimus attempted to hold him back down, but June put a hand on his pede.
"It's okay," she told him gently, "help him sit."
Optimus then supported his friend with one arm as Ratchet steadied himself. His vents cycled air normally again in deep sighs as the medic looked around. They really were alone, he could not even see the kids anywhere, which was a good thing, he thought as he looked down at his thighs when he felt wetness around them.
"Oh," he rolled his optics and turned away, "so I not only purged, but leaked myself as well. Just great."
"Ratchet, you had a seizure." June spoke up softly, "It's natural."
"We'll clean that up. Are you feeling better now, old friend?" Optimus asked him, his voice just as gentle. However, Ratchet had a confused frown on his face when he turned back to them and looked down at the human nurse.
"What did you say?" he asked, his voice merely a whisper.
"You had a seizure." June repeated and Ratchet's frown deepened. He looked down and June walked over to him, her tone was still gentle, "You probably don't remember anything from it."
"Right..." Ratchet murmured and shook his helm slowly, "Seizure... So, it wasn't just a... hangover."
He paused, looking down at the puddle on transfluids at his thighs, "But then, what...?"
"We'll figure out." Optimus reassured him and pulled him up carefully. Ratchet did not protest, he let the Prime lift him from the ground and lead him to the wash racks - he couldn't help notice the bigger mech held him as if he was some fragile porcelain, as if he could break at any moment. Ratchet didn't remember what happened, but a seizure was serious and he imagined it must have frightened Optimus, even if he acted calm for his sake.
Ratchet was still weak and shaky, but apart from a mild processor ache, nothing more, similar to lack of recharge. He was just confused, but figured it must have been an after-effect of the seizure. He had seen seizures in his life, many types, and knew they were usually the sign of chronic, sometimes even uncurable illnesses. Ratchet shook his helm; he noticed Optimus glancing at him with worry, but the medic quickly waved a hand to reassure him that he was alright now. He just needed to clear his processor and make up a diagnosis. He had to concentrate... he couldn't be sick.
Not when the others needed him.
June didn't let the kids back to the main room until Optimus escorted Ratchet to his quarters. That was when Bumblebee pulled in with Raf and the two youngsters looked around in wonder when they noticed the emptiness around them. June quickly walked up to Raf and told him to go out, too, to Jack and Miko and tell them that Ratchet was better now; he seemed confused, but June's expression was stern and he didn't dare argue with her. The nurse spoke from the woman, Raf recognized it and hoped his friends would explain to him just whatever happened to Ratchet, but seeing the sombre expression on Optimus' face, he knew it was nothing good.
"Bumblebee," the Prime called to the scout with a gentle tone, "please, would you help me clean up?"
Bumblebee eyed the puddles on the floor and looked back up at his leader with a questioning expression. Optimus thought it would be better if he did the explaining, "Ratchet collapsed and got a seizure this morning..." when he saw the young Autobot's optics widen, he put a hand on his shoulder, "but he's better now. He's recharging."
Bumblebee frowned and looked down. It was hard to process it and he just couldn't imagine the grumpy but ever helpful medic ill. Just how did this happen? And why? Why him?
What does it mean?, he asked eventually and Optimus turned to June. In fact, it was the question he longed to ask the woman as well.
"June," he called to her quietly, "what could this seizure mean?"
The woman stopped her pacing and when she looked up, she didn't try to hide her own anxiety from the Prime. "Seizure can be a sign of various illnesses." she started patiently, "And it was very... human-like. I don't know if such a thing exists in Cybertronian medicine... We'll make analysises, but either way, he's sick. Seriously. We'll all have to take care."
Optimus nodded. "We will do our best to help our medic... and be mindful of him."