I feel like we have a choice in this world, about how we tell sad stories. On the one hand you can sugar coat it. That nothing is too messed up that it can't be fixed with a Peter Gabriel song. I like that version as much as the next girl does…It's just not the truth.
Hazel Grace closed her eyes. The world around her was alive. Lush and colorful. Phillip was gone, and of course she missed him, but without him, she felt incredibly liberated. Like she could sumersault down this hill, stick the landing, and score a perfect ten. But she couldn't. She was waiting. Five more minutes.
Recount the moments.
How many songs…over billion maybe
How many literal heart of Jesus support groups…probably forty.
How many times would I fall in love?
With a boy, with dark hair, and a sexy smile that sold her on the first intense staring contest they shared. A boy who only feared oblivion, but that's not all. She knew that. Four more minutes.
How could I be so lucky?
To be part of the life of Augustus Waters. He was so amazing, how'd the universe come up with him? His ability to find the goodness in something totally wicked, or the darkness in an empyrean moment. A sweet contrast that filled a hole in Hazel Grace's chest. One of those holes that even family can't fill. Not even a friend. That thought made her heart flutter, and not in a bad way like before.
Three minutes.
Two minutes.
It was like being forced to wait for a bomb to explode. I'm so close now. Without really thinking, Hazel's parents popped into her head. They were just as excited for her as she was. They'd even cried tears of joy. They'd bought her flowers. It was just a lot. Isaac visited her a lot before she left. It was fun. Hazel Grace stretched herself on the earth, her fingers spreading over the fuzziness that the moss had. Her flowy white dress made her feel prettier than ever.
One minute.
She could barely contain it anymore. She twirled on the earth beneath her. Sometimes the best moments can be expressed through movement, or words. The only words that came out of Hazel Grace's mouth were shouts. Really, really happy ones that crawled all over the universe. Her feet provided the movement, dancing like no one was judging.
Twenty seconds.
Her body jumped a little, jerking out in awkward movements. Almost like it was her body who was choreographing the frolics, and not her mind. Then all of her memories flashed before her. Remembering when she was told about her cancer, and then getting her invitation to womanhood. The countless cancer-support groups. Her desperately lonely swing skeleton playground. Van Houten. Period. No going back there. Her parents. Oh, how she loved them for letting her leave. Isaac breaking trophies.
And last but not least.
Falling in love.
"Ah, there she is, Hazel Grace."
"You waited for me Augustus Waters."
The two hugged each, in hopes of never being pulled apart again. She kissed him. Without any interruptions, or bumps from her tube. It was just even more perfect than it had been in life. When he touched her hands, her memories surged through her again.
And last but not least…
getting unplugged from life…
"You coming Hazel Grace?" Augustus asked. He half smiled and reached for her. Hazel paused for a moment. She hesitated before making any movements.
"Yeah," she said simply, and followed Augustus Waters off the earth.