For most of my life, I've only respected two of the Powerpuff Girls.

Buttercup earned my respect pretty much right away. I mean, how could I not respect a girl who can come back from the brink of death and explode me? Sure, getting kissed to death is pretty much the most embarrassing way to die, but I've beaten the ever loving shit out of her plenty of times in my second life, and she's done the same for me, so I figure there's some sort of karmic balance or whatever there. And though it didn't kill her, I did manage to kick her ass in a very embarrassing manner. She can't look at any mascot costume without getting all ragey now!

And even though she's the biggest bitch in the universe, I have to respect Blossom. Where Buttercup goes for brawn, Blossom goes for brains, and she's got those to spare. If it weren't for that rod up her ass, she'd probably be an okay person.

So now we're left with the one of the trio who's had my respect for the least amount of time: Bubbles.

I mean, how could you blame me for not taking this girl seriously, when she's the personification of cute? She's fucking adorable, and everyone knows it. Hell, even Brick admits she's cute, and he never admits anything nice about anyone. He's pretty much the guy who put the "Cold Hearted Son Of A Bitch" in "Cold Hearted Son Of A Bitch."

And of course Boomer thinks she's cute, but he's just a pussy with a crush.

So yeah, I never really respected Bubbles, because she's a nice person, and nice people are weak and all that jazz, but my opinion of her changed very drastically about a year ago from today.

It was halfway through October, and our final year of high school was underway (and let me just say now, holy fuck! Am I ever glad that shit is over! School can suck my fucking dick!). It was a break between classes, and we happened to pass each other in the hall. She was holding something (I can't even remember what the hell it was. Something for her art class, probably), and me being the asshole that I am, I figured, Hey! Let's eyebeam the shit out of whatever it is! I mean, I'd been pulling crap like this ever since I came back from the dead, and making a girl cry is always good for a laugh.

So boom, one glance with the laser vision later, and her thing is up in smoke. I was expecting tears at this point... no, I was hoping for and expecting tears, and for a second there, I thought I was going to get them. Turns out they were just tears from having a face full of smoke.

Because about three seconds after she wiped her sleeve across her eyes, she called me a "buttfucking piece of shit" (along with many other, colourful things. Who would have guessed sweet, gently Bubbles would have such a blue streak? And yes, pun intended) and then proceeded to give me the most thorough beating of my life. Seriously, I can't remember half of it. All I know is that when all was said and done, she'd caused so much property damage that people were comparing it to some kind of tag incident (whatever the fuck that means), and I was laid up in traction for a month. A month! Me, the roughest of the Ruff, he who kicks ass and takes names. And that was a month even with my super healing!

So maybe it was late in coming, but in that single, gloriously destructive act, Bubbles the Powerpuff earned the respect of Butch the Rowdyruff. And since this was a story, here's a moral for you:

Don't piss off the nice ones. They will fucking end you.