Freefall

by Ohcai

Lydia is moving back to her mother's hometown, La Push. There, she meets Paul. From the start, he's always acted odd around her, and she finds herself warming to him quicker than she should. But then she finds out his secrets and is thrown into confusion

'Sometimes, you just have to write what you feel in your heart. Sometimes, you need some sort of outlet.' I looked down at my notebook and laughed at myself. 'Sometimes, you feel ridiculous doing it.'

I slammed my notebook shut. This was not working. But then, what would? I was bursting with feelings and longings, and writing was the only way I knew to get them all out. Still, a diary was pushing it.

You know your summer's pathetic when the only thing that will listen to you is a notebook. But I'd expected this. Moving to a town in the middle of nowhere while there was still a month of summer break left might have been the worst thing to ever happen to me.

I knew no one, and I had no car for getting around. My twin brother, Christopher, was with our aunt in Texas. I had refused to go because southern accents bothered me, not to mention how miserable the heat made me.

Now, I was kind of wishing I'd just gone. Basically, I spent every single day, all day, in the house, feeling pathetic and all too alone. Dad was always at work, and Chris wouldn't be back until three days after the school year started- how he'd managed to talk Dad into that one, I didn't know.

I'd had friends back in Massachusetts, sure, but none of them had been all that close to me. After a week or so of my moving here, they all but stopped calling. I didn't call either. What was there to say? Still, though I'd never expected them to remain my friends, it was shocking how quickly and easily I'd been dropped.

I shook my head and got up to brush my teeth. That month before the first day of school had finally passed, and I would be going to La Push High in the morning.

I heard the front door slam and spit out a mouthful of toothpaste so I could holler down the stairs, "Good night, Dad!"

"Night, Honey!" he called back.

I hadn't seen his face in four days, not that I was counting. Don't get me wrong, he wasn't a terrible father and I knew he loved me; he'd just been really busy setting up his new office. Besides, ever since Mom died, he always got this tight look on his face whenever he saw me, like I was torturing him. I knew why.

I looked exactly like my mother, except for my light green eyes. It was no wonder- after all, Mom had grown up as part of the tribe here in La Push, but Dad came from Ireland.

I shook my head and walked back to my bed, stooping to kiss the framed picture of me and Mom that I kept on my nightstand, and settled in for the night.

There's nothing worse than hearing your alarm clock blaring and realizing that it means that, for the first time in months, you actually have to listen to it and get up early. But once I was moving, I felt immediately better. Excited, even. Some part of me had been waiting for this, had been longing for a new start at a new school.

Besides, Mom had gone to school here. Just knowing that made me feel a little closer to her.

I lived close enough to the school that, instead of having Dad wait around to drive me, I decided to walk. It was really pretty refreshing. Something about La Push drew me in. Everything was so green here, and the air had a clean smell you just didn't get in big cities like Boston.

The nerves didn't hit until after I entered the building and realized that I had no idea where the office was. I must have looked pretty lost, because soon, a kindly looking guy approached me.

"You're new," he said. It wasn't a question.

"Yeah, I am. My name's Lydia Gallagher," I offered.

"Gallagher?" the boy repeated, as if it was another language. Maybe it was. After all, I was on a reservation now. How many Irish people were here?

I could name three.

I coughed uncomfortably, and the boy's head snapped down to me. Lord, was he tall. "Sorry. My name's Embry Call. I'll show you to the office." I smiled gratefully.

Neither of us said another word until we reached the office. "Well, Lydia, I hope you have a nice first day," Embry said before walking away.

The secretary took her good, sweet time hunting up my schedule and locker assignment. After what seemed like hours, she finally handed me a small mountain of papers and sent me on my way.

I shouldn't have been surprised when I collided with someone in the hallway and an avalanche of paper scattered. I blushed furiously and scrambled to pick up my papers, but whoever I'd run into beat me to it. I didn't know how he'd collected them so quickly, but I was too embarrassed to question it.

"I'm sorry. I'm not normally so clumsy," I spluttered, refusing to meet the eye of whoever he was.

"It's fine," a low, male voice said. He sounded annoyed. I glanced up and met his eyes, and a funny expression crossed his face. Not ha-ha funny, but… odd. He was frozen, gawking at me.

Can you say awkward? "I'm Lydia," I offered uncertainly.

"Paul," he muttered before turning on his heel and walking away. I tried not to, but I couldn't help it; I watched him half-run out of the school.

What, did he think I had cooties or something?

And as if that wasn't bad enough, I was late to my first class. Way to make a first impression, Gallagher, I thought sarcastically. Just one of my quirks was that I silently addressed myself all the time. Good thing people couldn't read minds, or they might think I was insane.

Though I watched out for Paul all through the day, I didn't see him again. Or at least, not until I was walking home. He was suddenly just there. I was sure he hadn't been anywhere on the street just a minute ago. The only thing I could think of was that he'd come from the woods that bordered the street. Weird.

"Erm. Hi, Lydia," he said, looking like he hated himself for saying even that little bit to me.

"Paul." It seemed like he really didn't want to talk with me, so I decided not to seem interested. I didn't know what he wanted, but I was sure it wasn't good.

"You remembered." He seemed genuinely pleased by this.

"What do you want?" I hadn't meant to sound so rude, but I was confused. What was going on here?

He looked vaguely uncomfortable. "I just thought I'd get to know you better."

"Better? You don't know me at all." Something about him made my defenses go up. I couldn't help these biting answers. Silently, I berated myself. I didn't want to push people away here. I wanted to fit in. This was not going to help.

"I want to," he said, stopping. I kept walking, but he grabbed my hand, pulling me to a stop.

"Why?" I asked.

"I…" Paul looked lost. I almost felt bad for him. "I'll see you tomorrow, Lydia."

Talk about odd. When I got home, he was all I could think about. It was just because of how strange he'd been acting, I told myself. I almost believed it, too.

I called Chris as soon as I walked in the door, knowing he was waiting to hear from me. "Lydia! Took you long enough," he greeted me after just two rings.

"I just walked in the door, Chris," I said, laughing. He wasn't the most patient person.

"Really? Well… fine. How's our school?"

"It's alright, I guess. The people are nice enough. It's pretty small, so it's not too hard to find your way."

"Make any friends?"

I thought of Paul. What was he to me? "Not yet, though I talked to a lot of people. It would have been better if you were there."

Chris apologized, "Sorry, Lyd. I wish I was there with you. It's so hot here, and everyone talks funny."

I laughed. "Remember that next time you want to leave me for the summer."

"I will. Don't worry, won't happen again. Look, I've got to go. But I'll see you in two days. Do me a favor and start getting to know some girls, would you?"

"Sure, and I'll tell them all about how you suck your thumb and sleep with Claude the bear."

"That was years ago, Lydia! Years!" I laughed as I hung up the phone. It had been a good day, I surprised myself by thinking.

When I got to school the next morning, I saw Paul leaning casually against the building, as though he was waiting for someone. He stiffened when he saw me.

"Good morning, Lydia." I nodded and walked through the door, heading towards my locker. It took several seconds before I realized that he was walking next to me. When I looked up at him, I saw that he'd been studying me.

"I don't understand you," I said honestly. I have a bit of a problem- I told the truth, always, and very rarely was I able to filter it. I took saying what was on my mind to a whole new level.

Before I could even blush, he smiled a little. "I don't understand you, either."

"Yes, but I'm not following you, now am I?" I pointed out. We reached my locker and I spun the combination. Ignoring him, I crouched down and started picking out my books, carefully angling myself so that he couldn't see straight down my shirt.

It didn't end up mattering, though- when I glanced up at him, he was glaring at a picture I'd hung on my locker door with a magnet, one of me and my brother. "Who's this?" he asked.

"That's Christopher," I said, distracted. From the floor, Paul looked like a giant. Maybe he was one.

"And what's he to you?" Paul's voice trembled with anger.

"He's my brother. My twin brother, if you want to be specific." I did my best not to sound amused, but I didn't think it worked. He glanced at my face and grimaced.

"Oh," was all he said. I started walking down the hall to my first class of the day, determined not to be late this time, and he tagged along again.

"Why are you following me?" I asked.

"I'm not," Paul said. I shot him a look and he blushed. "Fine, I am. But I'd rather you called it 'walking you to class'."

"And why would you do that?" My brother says I ask too many questions. Maybe he was right, but I wouldn't have to if people just told me what was going on.

"I told you yesterday, I want to know you," Paul grumbled.

"Right. Why?"

Paul groaned, and seemed sort of amused. "I'm changing the subject. Why did you move here?"

"I'd rather not say."

"Why?" it was Paul's turn to ask, and he smiled.

"We've owned a house here for ages, since my parents first got married, but we were renting it out. The tenants moved out, and we needed a change of scenery, so here we are."

"See? That wasn't too hard, was it?" He bumped his side into mine, and I grinned.

"No, not too hard." We stopped outside of my classroom. "Here's my stop."

"I'll see you later, okay?" Paul didn't move, and looked expectant. What, he actually expected an answer?

"Alright. Bye, Paul."

I sat down just as the bell rang, and the teacher gave me another disapproving look. I really wasn't putting myself into his favor.

It only got worse throughout class. I wasn't able to concentrate, instead replaying my conversations with Paul, trying to figure out why he was talking to me. I didn't notice the teacher was calling my name until I realized that the entire class was laughing.

"Are you with us, Miss Gallagher?" I blushed and nodded, then ducked my head. How embarrassing.

But that didn't stop my mind from wandering back to Paul. Would he be in any of my classes? I didn't know, since he wasn't in school yesterday- I'd have to remember to ask him about that.

I was too curious for my own good, and had never been able to keep myself out of other people's business. Call it a weakness of mine.

Finally, the bell rang, signaling the end of class. I rushed out of the room, afraid of the teacher flagging me down and reprimanding me for my lack of attention. I didn't go anywhere though, instead pulling out my schedule. I thought I knew where I was going next, but I wanted to make sure. I didn't want to be one of those people who shows up to the wrong class and doesn't notice it until after roll call.

"Lydia!" Paul came up to me and was grinning. "What do you have next?"

I groaned. "Gym."

"Hey, me, too! Do you not like gym?" I hadn't yesterday, I thought. Most people had ignored me. When we had to pair up to volley a ball back and forth, I'd ended up with the teacher. It was humiliating, and not fun in the least.

Maybe now it would be better. "Not really," I said, shrugging.

"Oh, come on. It's fun. A class where you don't have to think. No pop quizzes, no studying. Besides, I'm pretty good at just about every sport," he added with an arrogant smile.

"You're such a typical boy." I hadn't meant it seriously, but Paul's smile faded.

"I'm not," he said seriously, looking me dead in the eye.

"If that's what you want to believe." I smiled faintly to hide my discomfort. People were staring. Lots and lots of people. I looked at them apprehensively. It hadn't been like this yesterday. Paul saw where my eyes were directed.

"Get used to it, Lydia. You and I, we're going to be the talk of the school."

"Why? What do you mean?" My stomach turned and my heart spazzed.

"What timing! I'll see you in class," Paul said, grinning, as he walked into the boy's locker room.

It was hard to even pretend to be angry with Paul for long, I was so grateful to have him as a partner. Even if it did look as though he'd been completely serious when he said he was good at just about any sport. I, on the other hand, was embarrassing myself.

I hit myself as much as I hit the ball, which seemed to amuse Paul to no end. "Now I can see why you weren't looking forward to this class," he said cheekily. I just laughed with him. I was in a good enough mood that the honesty of his statement didn't really bother me. Besides, how could I be angry at him when he was looking at me that way, like I was the only one in the room? Like I was the most interesting girl in the world?

I knew that would stop after the new-student novelty wore off, but I planned on enjoying it while I could.

Instead of eating alone today, as I had yesterday, Paul dragged me off to his table. He introduced me to his friends, and I was surprised to recognize Embry from yesterday.

"Hey, Lydia. It's nice to see you again," he said politely, shooting Paul a sly look.

"You know her?" Paul demanded. He looked... angry? "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

"He showed me to the office yesterday morning." Why would Embry have told Paul? But here Paul was, glaring at him.

"It's no big deal," Embry said in a soothing voice. I knew my confusion was clear on my face, but I didn't bother to hide it. People tended to explain things more when they knew you were wondering about them.

I didn't get any explanations, but a kindly looking girl named Kim gave me a sympathetic look. She was obviously dating the boy sitting next to her, who was named Jared. The way he looked at her, it was like she was all that mattered.

It was a little spooky for high school, but I couldn't help but envy her that. I hoped to have someone half that devoted, someday.

Paul and Embry were done arguing now, and both were eating insanely fast. I couldn't believe how much food all of the boys at the table seemed to be eating. "How are you all not three hundred pounds?" I asked, wonder evident in my voice.

They all laughed, and I wondered what the joke was. "We just burn a lot of calories," Jared said, grinning.

"Doing what?"

"Running," Paul said. He didn't look like he was going to add any more, and I shut up about it.

"Your friends are pretty nice," I said to Paul as he walked me home. I didn't know why, but after the final bell, Paul had raced up to my locker and waited, then simply joined me as I left the school. I decided not to question it. I liked his company.

Paul seemed genuinely pleased. "That's great. Just wait until you meet Sam and Emily." I raised an eyebrow. "They're friends, too. But they don't go to La Push High."

"How do you know them?"

Paul looked uncomfortable. "Nowhere in particular. Where do you live, anyway?"

I noticed the obvious subject change, but I decided against commenting, for once. I pointed to my house, which we were nearing quickly.

Paul looked disappointed. "Do you have a lot to do tonight?" he asked.

"I… well, not really. Why?"

"I was just thinking that we should probably study for that physics test."

My heart did as stupid, floppy move. "That's actually a pretty good idea. I mean, who gives a test on the third day of school?" We walked up my driveway, and I fumbled with my key. My hands were trembling. I managed to get the door unlocked and pulled it open wide, letting him follow me in.

"My Dad's not home, but he won't mind." Paul nodded nervously. I decided that, though it wasn't the most comfortable place to work, we should go to the kitchen. I didn't want to take him up to my room and let him get any wrong ideas.

I dropped my bag on my chair and headed to the pantry, fishing out a couple of bags of chips. If the way he'd eaten earlier was any indication, snacks would not go unappreciated.

I'd just sat down when my phone started ringing. I answered, shooting Paul an apologetic look. He didn't seem to mind, though he was staring at me. I looked away, feeling a blush heat my cheeks.

"Lydia? Were you even planning on calling me?" Christopher sounded bored and lonely. It made me feel extra guilty for what I was about to do.

"I'm sorry, Chris, but I really can't talk right now. I'll see you tomorrow, okay? I'm going to stay home and we'll have the day to ourselves." His flight was getting in at noon, so that wasn't exactly true, but neither of us pointed this out.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing, Chris. Really."

"Fine. But I expect muffins. Blueberry." I grinned. He was a sucker for my cooking.

"You got it. Love you." I hung up and looked over at Paul, who was still watching me.
"Sorry about that," I said uncomfortably.

"Wait, you're not going to be at school tomorrow?" Paul asked.

"I guess not. I haven't seen Chris in over a month, and he's coming home." Why did I feel like apologizing?

He looked upset. "But then I won't see you," he said.

Oh, swoon. I reminded myself I'd only known him for two days.

It didn't feel like two days.

We studied Physics, we really did- for all of five minutes. After that, we just talked. It was amazing how comfortable it was, being with him. After a couple of hours, though, he got a phone call. I did my best not to eavesdrop- oh wait, no. That's not true. I listened shamelessly.

"What do you want?... Hell yes, I'm annoyed… Isn't there anyone else who can-… Fine. I'm on my way." My heart sunk. I didn't know what to make of the conversation, but I did know one thing- Paul was leaving.

He hung up on whoever it was and looked at me apologetically. "This was fun, but I've got to go. I'll see you tomorrow."

I sadly watched him walk out the door, staring at it long after it had shut. When I realized I was moping, I laughed at myself. I was being ridiculous.

I woke up late the next morning and, though I'd only had two days of school so far, but they'd been exhausting. It was glorious to be able to sleep in.

But when I looked at the clock and saw that it was ten thirty, I started scrambling around the room, getting ready as quickly as I could. I still had to go to the store for muffin ingredients and make said muffins. After all, I had to celebrate Chris' homecoming somehow.

I sprinted past the school, looking at it and wondering what I was missing. Right now, I would be in math. No Paul there.

When I made it to the little store, I rushed around, picking up all of the ingredients I'd need. I paid and stood outside, heaving. As soon as I could manage it, I jogged back to my house.

Even though I dashed around everywhere like a madwoman all morning, I still had barely finished setting up the projector and tying a sheet to one wall of our house when I heard a car pull into the driveway.

I gave a little wave to Dad as I threw myself across the driveway and into Chris' waiting arms. "You have muffin batter on your face," he said, beaming. "And on your shirt. What were you doing, Lyd?"

Despite my gooey shirt, he hugged me again, spinning me in a circle. "I meant what I said. I'm not going away for so long ever again. I missed you too much, little sis."

"Little! Bah! You're only seven minutes older," I complained, but my heart wasn't in it. I was too glad to have him back.

We all walked into the house and Dad stopped in the doorway, startled. "What's all this?"

I had set up our old movie projector and there were several pans' worth of muffins in bowls on the coffee table. All of the windows had towels draped over them, so that no light could get in.

"We're having a movie day. Want to join us?" I offered hesitantly. I knew that he wouldn't-

"Sure! It's been too long since we did anything as a family," Dad said, shocking me. I was floored, and Chris had to cover for me.

"You're right. I vote for Touch of Evil first."

"Aw, Chris, but we always watch that one!" I complained. He flicked my nose.

"Isn't this supposed to be my homecoming party? My choice goes." I sighed dramatically, but put his film in.

During our banter, Dad had taken one of the muffins out of a bowl and taken a bite. "This is delicious! Where did you buy it?"

"Actually, I made it, Dad," I said, pleased. He looked surprised and devoured three more. That's the best compliment you can pay to any cook.

All in all, it was a pretty good day. After two movies, Dad said he had to get to work. I didn't mind at all- really, I was pleased that he had stayed even that long. It was more than I'd seen him every day for the past month combined.

Still, I was comfortable leaning against Chris, and I fell asleep halfway through our third movie. He smelled more like home than this house ever had.

I woke up to a ringing noise. "Come in," Chris called in a hushed voice from the couch. The door opened, but I kept my eyes shut.

"Who are you?" Chris asked. When he talked, his chest buzzed. It kind of tickled. I wasn't going to be able to stay 'asleep' for long.

"I'm Paul." I sat straight up. Head rush.

Chris glanced at me and raised an eyebrow. Paul looked amused. I blushed. "What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice rough from sleep. Paul held up his backpack.

"I brought you the work you missed today. There wasn't all that much, since it was only the third day of school, but…"

Aww, how sweet. "Thanks," I mumbled, refusing to meet his eye or Chris'. The room was quiet and very awkward. I finally looked up, and saw that Paul was eyeing the muffins. There were still at least a couple dozen left.

When I went all out for my brother, I went all out.

"You can have a muffin, if you'd like. As a reward for collecting my work for me," I offered. He grinned and took one.

"Wow, you're a great cook."

I grinned. "That's what they tell me."

"Hey, I haven't checked out my room yet. I'm going to go unpack, alright, Lyd? But I'm leaving my door open," he added as a warning to Paul, shooting him an intimidating glare. Paul just smiled innocently.

As soon as Chris was upstairs, Paul came over to where I was sitting on the couch. "So that's the brother," he said. I shot him a look that clearly said 'duh'. Paul shrugged.

"You really are a great cook. Where did you learn?"

"My mom taught me before she died. She used to like to say we'd open a restaurant together someday."

"Hey, I'm sorry," Paul said, sounding genuinely upset. I looked up at him and smiled.

"Don't be. I'm alright, and that's a happy memory. I don't want to stop remembering just because she's gone."

"You're amazing," Paul said. He seemed so sincere.

"If you're trying to flatter me into giving you another muffin, it's working. Go on." Paul grinned again, a quick flash of white teeth as he leaned over and took another.

"I missed you today," he said over a mouth full of muffin. I was surprised.

"You've known me for three days, Paul," I pointed out.

"I know I have." I was at a loss for words.

Good thing I didn't need to say anything. A moment later, he continued, "Are you busy this Friday?" My heart stumbled.

"Probably not. Why?"

"I was thinking we could hang out."

"Oh… well, I guess we could." Paul beamed.

"Excellent. Well… I have to go," he said, looking like he hated that he did.

"Are you sure?" I asked, trying to keep the disappointment out of my voice.

He smiled a little, obviously taking pleasure in my unwillingness for him to leave. "Yeah. But I'll see you tomorrow, right?" I nodded mutely. He kissed my cheek and walked out the door.

As soon as the door shut and Paul was gone, Chris came racing down the stairs. "Who was that guy?" he demanded.

I groaned. "Are we really going to do this now?" He glared, so I said, "His name is Paul."

"Yeah, I got that."

"He's a friend of mine."

"Just a friend?"

"Chris! I've known him for three days," I said. Chris nodded.

"I guess you're right. It was just… the way he looked at you." I wanted badly to ask what he meant, but I refused. That would just make Chris suspicious again. Instead, I took the pile of papers Paul had left with me and headed upstairs to look through them.

The next day, Paul met me at my locker again, and he walked with me in the hallways to every class. People were still talking about us, but I did my best to ignore them; Paul seemed unperturbed. He did, however, express disappointment when I told him I couldn't eat lunch with him because I had to make up that physics test I'd missed.

"Are you sure you can't do it… some other time?" Paul said. I laughed a little and shook my head. So he walked me to our physics room and I waved as he walked away.

I took the test in ten minutes- it wasn't very hard at all. At least the teacher wasn't giving us anything too hard right off the bad, but I was kind of mad at him for giving us a test so soon in the first place. If he hadn't, I would be with Paul right now.

I rushed out of the room, thinking that if I was quick enough, I'd be able to make at least the very end of lunch, but I slowed down when I heard voices coming from around a corner.

"You need to tell her," someone was saying. His voice was vaguely familiar, but I couldn't pinpoint who it was.

"Don't you think I know that? But if I tell her now, she'll run away. I don't want her to get too freaked out. I'm working up to it." That voice I knew for sure. But what was Paul talking about?

"Weren't you just telling me how good she is at handling things? Like her mom?" Were they talking about… me?

"Yeah, but this is different."

"No, it's not."

"Fine. I'm going to see her on Friday. I'll tell her then." My heart beat faster, and I turned away, hurrying down the hallway as quickly as I could. What was going on?

I hid out in the bathroom until the end of the lunch period.

After overhearing that, Friday couldn't come fast enough. I think Paul knew something was going on, because all throughout the day, I wasn't able to sit still.

"What are we doing tonight?" I asked him.

"I was thinking we could just… talk. Maybe at the beach?" I nodded. Talking sounded good, because from what I'd heard a couple of days ago, he was keeping something from me. I was desperate to know what it was.

What can I say? It's those curiosity issues of mine again.

That night, Paul called me and apologized profusely for having to cancel. He sounded genuinely upset that something had come up- he wouldn't say what. I was disappointed, more than I let on. He hung up and I moped around the house for the weekend. Chris asked what was wrong, but I didn't tell him. It was too pathetic.

On Monday morning when I saw Paul, I ran to him and hug-tackled him. He laughed, but hugged me back.

"What was that for?" he asked while we walked to my locker.

"Well… I guess I must have missed you."

"I guess I missed you too." I grinned my brightest smile, and he smiled back.

"Aw, look how cute," Embry said, coming up behind us. I resisted the urge to glare. Paul had been his friend first.

Besides, Paul looked annoyed, too. Seeing that he was made me happy enough that Embry's interruption was almost worth it.

Thus began an agonizing week. I couldn't stop wondering what it was he wasn't telling me. I saw Paul, a lot. He always seemed to appear as soon as I was out of a class. To say that I didn't mind one bit would be an understatement. Friday dragged, because, for some reason, Paul didn't show up for school. He almost made up for it by calling me after dinner and asking if I was free.

I rushed around the house, getting ready. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail, because otherwise it would become a tangled mess. If it was windy here, it would be worse at the beach. I found a warm shirt and a cute purple jacket, too. My favorite hat had to be dug out of one of the boxes that I still hadn't gotten around to unpacking- I was a major procrastinator.

"What's the rush?" Chris asked, watching me.

"I'm hanging out with Paul. He's going to be here in…" I glanced at the clock. "Ten minutes."

"Paul? Isn't he that guy who came over the other day?" I nodded, but didn't stop moving. I could only find one of my yellow Converses.

"Slow down," Chris said. I paused and looked at him. He laughed. "What are you looking for?"

"My shoe," I said, holding up the one I'd already found.

"Isn't that it right there?" he asked, pointing to my other shoe, which was right in the middle of my rug. I ran to it and shoved it on my foot. "I've never seen you like this," Chris said. He didn't sound like he was too happy about it.

"I like him," I said simply, turning around so he wouldn't see that I was blushing. My brother and I were close. I wasn't telling him anything he hadn't already figured out.

"Fine. But if he hurts you in any way-"

"You'll be the first to know," I promised, kissing his cheek.

I had just gotten downstairs when I heard a car pull up. "Bye!" I called, and hurried out the door before Chris could go out there and embarrass me. "I have my phone!"

I got into the passenger seat and grinned at Paul. He pulled out and was about to say something when my phone started ringing. I pulled it out of my purse and looked at it, then silenced it and shoved it back into my bag.

"Who was it?" Paul asked.

"Chris."

"And he was calling because…?"

"He's an overprotective jerk." I made a face, and Paul laughed. It wasn't exactly happy laugher, though. There were some major nerves under the surface. I hadn't forgotten that there was something he wasn't telling me. I had a feeling- and my feelings were generally spot on- that he was going to be explaining it all today.

We both stayed silent during the five-minute drive. It wasn't awkward, though.

When we got out of the car, Paul seemed at a loss for what to do. I started walking towards the lake, and he followed.

"So?" I asked, sitting on a big tree that was lying on the sand.

"I don't really know where to begin. But… what I'm about to tell you is secret, okay? You… even if you hate me afterwards, you can't tell anyone." Paul stared earnestly into my eyes.

"Of course not. And I don't think I could hate you," I added, blushing. He didn't relax, though.

"We're about to find out… Have you ever heard the legends of our tribe?"

I shook my head slowly. "Mom didn't really talk about that kind of thing too often. I think it made her homesick." And I could see why. I was beginning to love this place. Already, the thought of leaving was hard.

"That makes this a little bit more difficult. It's said that our ancestors descend from wolves."

"Wolves?" I repeated stupidly.

"Yeah. You know, like dogs, only bigger," Paul joked weakly. I nodded slowly, failing completely to see where this was going.

"Well… okay. Promise me one more thing, please." I looked expectantly at him. He seemed like he was in such agony, trying to explain this to me. "Hear me out. No matter how crazy it sounds, or how freaked out you are… just hear me out."

"Of course," I said. I was starting to feel nervous. What could be that bad?

"Okay. I'm a werewolf."

I waited for the punch line, but he didn't say another word. He was staring at me, waiting for some sort of reaction. "You mean you think you can change into a wolf?"

"No, I mean I know I can." I was having trouble making sense of it. Werewolf? I felt like a frazzled robot: 'does- not- compute'.

"Impossible," I whispered to myself.

"It's not. I know it's hard to believe, but…"

"Show me." I don't know what made me say it, but I could tell he was just as surprised as I was.

"Are… are you sure?" I nodded my head. That was a lie. I wasn't sure, not at all. But there's something to be said for that saying, 'seeing is believing.' I could have really used a dose of believing just then.

"Okay. Okay, I'll be right back. Just… don't be afraid. I won't hurt you. I could never hurt you." Paul turned and ran off, disappearing behind cover of trees. I watched him with my heart pounding. I wasn't sure how long it took for him to come back- it might have been forever, it might have been a matter of seconds.

But suddenly, a giant- and I mean giant- wolf was approaching.

It took every ounce of willpower I had not to run. Instead, I locked eyes with him- they were so intelligent, not at all wild. Seeing those eyes was the only way I could know it was still Paul.

"You're a… You're a werewolf," I whispered. He snorted and rolled his eyes in a way that clearly meant 'I told you so'. "Hey. I'm allowed to be a little shocked right now, don't you think?" Paul hung his head dramatically.

I stood up and approached him slowly. When I stood in front of him, I realized that he was much bigger than I'd realized. He towered over me. "Lay down, Doggie," I whispered, laughing a little. He gave me a reproachful look, but did as I asked. I reached out a hand and touched the fur on his head.

My hand sank in, and it was softer than I could have imagined. "You're so beautiful," I whispered. He made a funny buzzing sound. "Are you purring?" I snorted. He huffed and stood.

"Right. I do feel ridiculous holding a one-sided conversation. You'd better go change back." Paul sprinted away, like a streak of lightning, and came back human.

"So… you believe me?"

"How can I not?" I reached out a hand and touched his cheek, to make sure he was really Paul again.

"Are you… okay with it?" I'd never seen him so hesitant.

I thought about it. Was I? "I think I might be," I answered honestly. It was the most I could give him just now. He nodded, accepting this.

"Then… there's more you should know." I laughed.

"Isn't there always more?"

"This is… it's important. You… you're important. I don't want to scare you away, but I can't stand you not knowing everything." He reached out and brushed stray hairs off of my cheek.

"Okay, fine. But if I start looking like I'm going to pass out, catch me, would you?" I'd meant that last part as a joke, albeit a weak one, but it didn't come out that way. He nodded gravely.

"We- the pack-"

"Wait! You're not the only one?" I felt stupid right after the words left my mouth. Still, he answered.

"No, I'm not. Embry and Jared are, too. And Jacob, Sam, and Quil. Seth and Leah…"

"Oh. So there are a lot of you. What about Kim?"

"No, she's human. She's just with Jared." I nodded my head slowly. Knowing that helped. If she could be with a werewolf and not freak out, then I wouldn't freak out.

"And she knows?" I demanded, just to make sure.

"Yeah, she knows."

"Okay. Then please, continue." I took some of my hair and started putting it into a teeny braid. Having something to do with my hands made me feel like my grip on reality wasn't slipping away.

"Well, we protect the tribe from vampires." Something in my expression made Paul wince.

"Vampires," I repeated, my voice sounding distant.

"Yeah. They're bad news."

"Are they very dangerous?" Paul nodded.

"Hence the need to protect the tribe from them. They're too fast for anything but another vampire or a werewolf to take down."

"But then couldn't you get hurt?"

"I could," Paul confirmed. "But I won't," he added with all the confidence of an arrogant male. I decided that I didn't like this whole 'vampire' business.

"Is that all?" I asked.

"All?" Paul repeated, astounded. "Isn't that enough?"

I nodded. "That's kind of the point. It's a lot to take in. Is there any more you're dumping on me today?"

"Well…" Paul studied my face, considering. "There's one more part. If you think you can handle more."

"Is it bad?"

Paul hesitated. "No, I don't think so. But you might." He watched me, waiting for some response, but I stared blankly up at him. "Alright. Well, there's this… thing called an imprint. It's the way that we find our mates."

"What do you mean?" I did my best not to let my thoughts get ahead of me. Where was he going with this?

"I mean… it's something that just happens. Like you're walking down the street and you see her, and suddenly she's it. She's everything."

"Like love at first sight?"

"Yeah, but more intense. But I guess that's about it."

"Have you…?" I hesitated to ask.

Here, he did something truly shocking- he blushed a furious red. I hadn't known that someone with skin so tan could blush so dark.

"Yeah." He gave me a funny look and didn't say a word for several minutes.

Meanwhile, I was fighting with myself. So I liked him. I would have to get over it. If he was unavailable, if he had someone who was really that important to him, I didn't stand a chance. I would get over him soon enough.

But he just kept staring. "Have I met her?" I asked. Looking back, I was being pretty dense. But can you blame me? My poor head hadn't stopped spinning since we'd gotten to the beach.

Paul laughed, but it sounded pained. "Yeah, you have."

"Well, it's not Kim… maybe that girl in our- oh wait, no, she's a bimbo. You wouldn't fall for someone so stupid."

Paul looked amused, but it didn't reach his eyes. "How do you know?"

"I have faith in you, and I respect you. Therefore, I can't bring myself to believe you could ever be attracted to someone so dumb."

"You're acting pretty dumb right now," he said. I looked at his face, to see if he was serious, but he just smiled at me.

"Jerk," I muttered under my breath. He smirked a little, but kept looking me in the eyes, like he was willing me to realize something.

And then I did.

And my breath came out in short gasps.

And I couldn't look away from his eyes.

"Not me?" I managed to choke out. He was watching my reaction carefully, and didn't seem too thrilled by it.

I couldn't blame him. I was about to go into a class-A panic.

"Yes, you." This explained so much. His reaction to meeting me, him showing up everywhere…

"But you don't…"

"I don't what?"

"You don't love me. You don't know me."

"I know you well enough. And I'm working on getting to know you better, aren't I?" I couldn't argue with that. He'd told me right from the start that that was what he was doing.

"Oh. And Jared?"

Paul nodded. "He imprinted on Kim."

"And you expect me to...?"

"I don't expect anything from you. I have some hopes, but you're absolutely free to hate me. To walk away and never look back."

"And if I did?" I knew I wouldn't, but it was looking pretty tempting right now. And a lot less stressful.

"I would miss you always, but I wouldn't go after you if that's not what you wanted." Such tidy responses he had; he seemed completely unaffected by my panicking, until you looked at the crease in his brow and the tightness of his eyes.

"Oh." That was good to know. "Paul, I'd like to go home."

My head was whirling. It was like I was in a freefall, and there was no ground in sight. I couldn't stop it, and I wasn't sure I wanted to. I was beginning to realize how easy it would be with him; how comfortable, how effortless, loving him. But I also knew that I wasn't ready for that yet, and thinking about the imprinting situation was terrifying.

I could tell he was bursting to question me, but my brain was fried. I'd had enough for today. Again, neither of us said a word during the drive, but the atmosphere was different this time. Charged.

My mind was reeling, and he was giving me space to think, which was the least he could do. After all, he was the cause.

He pulled into my driveway and I stumbled out of the car. When I was just about to open the front door, I turned around. He was staring after me with a heartbreaking expression.

"I'll see you Monday," I said, just loud enough that he could hear. He frowned, but nodded.

When I walked into the living room, Chris jumped up and examined me. "What happened? What did he do to you?"

"I don't want to talk about it," I mumbled as I walked toward the stairs.

"When I get my hands on him, I'll-"

"Oh, no you won't!" I said, turning and glaring at him.

"But Lydia, if he hurt you-"

"He didn't. He was a perfect gentleman." I walked away, guilty that I was leaving Chris like this, but not guilty enough to turn around and face his questions.

I holed up in my bedroom for the rest of the weekend. I didn't eat unless Chris put food outside my door, and I didn't talk to anyone. I didn't read and I didn't watch TV. I thought and I wrote.

I didn't write anything at all related to Paul or werewolves or imprinting. Instead, I wrote out a frivolous fluff story. It was comforting, to immerse myself in the simpler things in life.

When I woke up on Monday morning, I felt better. Refreshed. I felt like I could function again- though I wasn't sure how I could face Paul just yet. I figured I'd work that out when I saw him.

"You're alive!" Chris said when I reached the kitchen, tackling me and squeezing me in a tight hug.

"Yeah, yeah. Don't be so dramatic. It's not becoming," I said in my best fake-annoyed voice.

"Glad you're back."

We walked hand-in-hand to school, and when I saw Paul standing outside for me, I gave him a wave and a small smile.

"Do you want me to stay?" Chris whispered in my ear. I shook my head. I knew I needed to talk to Paul. Reluctantly, Chris walked away from me and Paul approached hesitantly.

"How was your weekend?" I asked lightly. I didn't want to talk about anything heavy right now. I'd missed him, somehow, and wanted to ignore everything else.

"Long," he said.

"I'm sorry. I just needed to think."

"And did you?" We reached my locker and I spun the comb, then switched my books out for the ones I'd need to start out the day.

"Of course."

"You don't want to talk about this now, do you?"

"Am I so easy to read?"

"I like to think that I'm starting to know you," he whispered in my ear. I shivered.

"Does this imprint thing affect the… imprintee, too?" I asked quietly, not wanting anyone else in the hallway to overhear me.

Paul beamed. "Why? Are you being affected?" I just stared at him. "No, it doesn't." I ducked down to retrieve my books- and also to hide my blush- but he grabbed my arm and kept me standing up.

"Lydia, you don't know how hard this is for me. Take all the time you need, to absorb and think, but… well, I'm just hoping you won't need much more." He shot me a pained expression.

"I think I'm alright. I think I can accept that you're a…" I trailed off, not wanting to say the word in such a public place. Paul's grin lit up his whole face. "But," I added, "the other part… the imprint thing? It's freaking me out."

"Why?" We started walking down the hallway, and I took my time about answering. Paul led me off to a deserted dead-end where it was nearly guaranteed that we wouldn't be overheard. The bell rang, signaling that we had five minutes to get to class, but neither of us moved.

This seemed a little bit more important than missing a little class time.

Finally, I spoke. "Because it sounds pretty serious. I don't know if I can handle a relationship like that. I don't think I'm ready to," I answered as honestly as I could.

"I wasn't looking for this, either," he reminded me.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. I leaned against a wall and slid down, sitting on the filthy ground. He sat next to me and put his arm around me. How had I never noticed before how warm he was? Even though it was September, it was still comfortable. I leaned against him and put my head on his shoulder.

If only I could stay in this moment, I found myself thinking.

"Sorry for what?" he sounded genuinely confused. I laughed, but not because it was funny.

"For moving here. For making you imprint."

"Making me?" He snorted and laughed. I could feel it, how his laughter shook him. It made me want to laugh, too.

"You didn't make me, and I'm glad you're here. I never planned on this," he said, squeezing my shoulder, "but I'm glad it happened. I don't want to be without you."

"I can't believe I only met you less than three weeks ago." And that was nothing but the truth. How could anyone feel this strongly for someone they'd just met?

We skipped the entire first period, instead simply sitting together. Sometimes we talked, and sometimes we didn't. It was completely comfortable.

And I was starting to feel something around him that I'd thought was lost forever. Stability. Belonging.

Since Mom died, my life had been severely lacking both.

Later that day while Paul walked me home (Chris, thankfully, had basketball practice), he held my hand. It felt nice, so I let him.

"Why don't you come with me to Sam's place? You can meet Emily and the rest of the pack."

"Will they mind?" I asked nervously. I didn't want to intrude.

Paul actually laughed. "Of course not. You're one of us now." I glowed a little. I'd never had a big group of people to rely on before. The very idea of possibly having one was great.

"So you'll come?" Paul asked, watching my expression hopefully.

How could I refuse that face?

I couldn't. "Fine. Alright. I'll go." Paul whooped and removed his hand from mine, instead wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

I wanted to object, because I didn't want to act this way, like we were a couple. But he was so comfortable and even the thought of his moving away hurt. The arm stayed.

Paul left me at my doorstep, saying he was going to run and get his car, and that he'd be back soon. I rushed upstairs. I'd long since realized that when Paul said 'soon', it meant something completely different than my 'soon' did. He was insanely fast.

I had just finished re-brushing my hair when I heard his car. I rushed to the door and threw it open, to see him beaming at me.

"Ready?" he asked.

"As I'll ever be."

My nerves had to have been showing on my face, because he gave me a small smile and said, "They'll love you," and kissed my forehead.

I watched him sometimes at school when he didn't know I was watching. This softness he'd always shown me, which I'd been taking for granted, was never there when he was around other people. While I couldn't imagine him any other way, I got the feeling that most people would never have believed he had it in him. it was like this caring sweetness was just for me.

I was so, so lucky.

And I knew that he wanted me to meet his pack. I didn't want to deny him that, though to tell the truth, I was terrified. What if they didn't like me? What if…?

Paul pulled into the driveway of a small, neat-looking house and parked. Meanwhile, I clutched at his hand.

Embry came out of the house and grinned at me. "It's about time," he told Paul. That made me feel a little better. At least I knew one person other than Paul wanted me here.

"Let's go," I said, releasing his hand from my death grip. If he was confused by my sudden burst of eagerness, he didn't comment.

Inside, I met Emily- a beautiful young woman with scars on her face- and Sam. Sam radiated calm and control. Jared and Kim were there, too. Seeing them was a comfort. We were friendly. After all, I did eat lunch with them every day. Chris did too, since Paul insisted on me eating with him and I insisted on sitting with Chris.

Really, I don't know why I'd been so afraid of the pack. Everyone was very nice and they all accepted me effortlessly, just as Paul had known they would.

I was surprised to see how much like a family they all were. Easy, light banter was tossed between Paul and Embry while Kim and Emily prepared a dinner that could feed fifty. I offered to help, and they accepted easily.

During dinner, Embry took a bite of the potatoes I'd fried with a few select spices and said, "Damn, Paul, your girl can cook."

My cheeks flushed and I bit my tongue against the urge to say that I wasn't Paul's girl. Here' that's exactly what I was.

We stayed until it got dark out, but then I finally told Paul that I had to get home. I explained, "I haven't done my homework yet and Chris must be worried."

Paul nodded and we said our goodbyes. Standing outside, he wrapped his arms around me and said, "See? That wasn't so bad."

"You're right. They're great," I replied honestly.

He beamed at me. "See? What did I tell you?"

I stared at him, enjoying his smile. Rarely was it so open. After a few seconds, I felt that strange, intense energy that seemed to pop up so frequently around him. A strange look crossed his face, and suddenly I was dead certain that he was going to kiss me.

I struggled with myself. The logical part of me said this was bad, that it was too strange, too fast. Everything else was screaming at me to move in closer.

So that's what I did.

I'd been kissed before, but not like this.

Never with so much behind it. Never in a way that made me feel not only better, but like nothing bad had ever touched me.

Paul pulled away first, and when he did, we were both gasping in air. "I should probably get you home," he muttered, turning and walking to the car. I was confused.

Maybe he was thinking that this was all a mistake. Maybe he was regretting imprinting.

I got into the passenger side, barely able to keep my hands from shaking. "Is something wrong?" I asked as he backed out of the driveway at a speed that I would normally yell at him for. Just then, though, I had bigger issues.

He glanced at me and his eyes scanned my face. He frowned. "No… Yes. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

A laugh escaped my lips. "Are you kidding? That's it?"

His frown deepened. "I don't want to pressure you. I know you're still wary about all of this."

I started to nod, but then stopped. Was I? Now I was only feeling contentment. I'd accepted the strange twist my life had taken. "Aren't you?" he asked when I didn't say anything.

I gulped. This was like jumping off of a ledge, not knowing if the ground would be there to catch me. "Well, actually…" I winced. How to put this? "I think I'm alright."

Paul hit the brakes and the car skidded to a stop. "What?" He looked at me incredulously, with so much hope that my heart stuttered. I felt horribly guilty for taking so long to come around. If I had been in his position, I don't know how I could have handled the suspense and the feeling of rejection that must have come up when I took so long to come around.

"I… I think that I'm alright with the whole 'imprinting' thing. Actually, I think I might like it." Suddenly, I was being crushed against him. His arms were wound tightly around me and his cheek was pressing against my hair. I hugged him back. This feeling, this comfort, was beginning to feel like something I couldn't live without.

I reluctantly left Paul at my doorstep, stealing one last goodbye kiss. When I opened the door, it hit Chris, who had been watching out the keyhole.

"Where have you been?" he said angrily.

"I was at a friend's house."

"Paul's?" he demanded.

"So what if I was?" I shouldn't have said that. I knew he was just being an over-protective older brother. I also knew that I was feeling really annoyed that he'd been watching me and Paul.

"You… I… he'd better not have done anything," Chris spluttered.

"Relax," I said in my most soothing voice, putting a hand on his arm. "I was actually at this guy Sam's house, and other than Paul and me, there were five other people there. No booze, no drugs. Nothing for you to worry about."

Chris grinned, but looked uncomfortable. "Sorry, Lyd. But… you were kissing him. I just assumed…"

"I know you did. And now you know better, and it won't happen again," I said in my most intimidating voice. His grin got wider. I knew that I wasn't exactly scary, even when I tried to be.

"Fine," he agreed, putting his hands up in the universal signal for surrender. I patted his shoulder as I passed him on the way to my room.

The next morning, I was giddy as I got ready for school. I didn't know what to expect today. After last night's revelations, I didn't know how to act around him, or what he was expecting of me.

When I got to school, he was waiting outside for me, as usual. He simply offered his hand and we walked down the hall together. It was like nothing had changed. I didn't know if I felt disappointed or not.

The sinking feeling in my stomach faded immediately when he diffidently blurted, "I think we should go on a date."

I grinned at him. "I think we should, too. What do you have in mind?" He audibly huffed out the breath he'd been holding.

"Well, I was thinking a picnic. I know this great spot in the woods…"

I laughed. "You would. Alright. But it had probably better wait until Saturday, then. That way we don't have to worry about running out of daylight." Paul reluctantly agreed.

Saturday finally came, and Paul came early in the morning. I thought it was because he was as eager to see me as I was to see him.

It was an insanely windy day, so I had my hair pulled back tightly. Paul seemed unperturbed, though. He had the biggest basket I'd seen in my life, filled with food. That boy had more appetite than the entire football team. He drove us to a forest path and we were walking down it when I tripped.

After that, it all happened so quickly. I caught myself against a tree, but my hand got all scraped up. Paul was by my side a split second later. "Are you alright?" he asked, unnecessarily worried.

Before I could tell him that I was, his posture changed. "Stay back," he warned. "Don't move."

"Why?" I asked, and I got my answer almost before the word had left my mouth.

Someone had run up to us and was poised in a position to attack. She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen, though her skin was deathly white. I knew from Paul's descriptions of them that this was a vampire.

It was hard to follow what was happening. Paul and the woman both moved insanely fast. I hardly saw her arm flying towards me before it hit and everything faded to black.

I heard a steady beeping noise. "Cut it out," I said.

"Lydia!" Someone clutched at my hand. "Lydia, I'm so sorry." I opened my eyes and saw that it was Paul.

Of course it was Paul. "Why?" He looked so pale, and so worried.

"It's all my fault. I should never have taken you out to those woods. I should have…"

"Really? You're blaming yourself?" I thought back over what had happened. "How did she find us?"

"She must have smelled your blood. And because of the wind blowing so hard the other way, she could smell us and I couldn't smell her."

"So really, it's not your fault at all. It was mine," I pointed out. "If I hadn't tripped…"

"Don't be ridiculous. I should have been more careful. If I'd lost you… This won't happen again. I'll stay far, far away from you."

My heart started racing, and the beeping machine sped up to match. What was he saying? "You're saying you're… leaving me?"

He gave me an agonized look. "If you're not around me, these things won't happen. This sucker, she's been skirting around town for the past couple of days. I thought that if I was careful, you wouldn't be in any danger. I thought I would know if she was around. Besides, her last tracks led far away from the reservation. I'm sorry."

"Don't be ridiculous." I tried to think of what to say, but I couldn't. How could I talk him out of this? The look on his face was terrifying. He looked dead set on staying away from me. "Then why are you here at all?"

"I had to make sure you're okay. I'll stay away after this. I'll leave right now." He stood and took three steps toward the door, then spun around and rushed toward me. His lips crashed on mine.

I hardly had enough time to worry about the last time I'd brushed my teeth before he pulled away. "I just had to do that one last time."

"Don't. Please don't." I knew my voice betrayed how close to tears I was, but I didn't care. If he left, I didn't know how I'd bear it. He didn't look back. He was out the door before I could say another word.

After that, it was a dark time for me. I didn't speak to anyone and I didn't do much other than sit around, trying to remember every moment I'd spent with him. Even the beginning, when I had first met him and couldn't for the life of me figure out why he was following me around so much, was like a light against the darkness that was threatening to drown me.

I didn't normally like to miss school, but I didn't want to face him. I didn't want to see him, knowing he didn't want me anymore. So I stayed at home for as long as I could. Dad missed a lot of work, the first week. He was worried about me. It seemed like he'd forgotten all about avoiding looking at me because of my resemblance to Mom. My stay in the hospital scared that right out of him.

But because he was there so much more, I couldn't just stay at home. I put going back off for as long as I could, but the day came after a week-long stay in the hospital and a week-long home period. I got dressed as slowly as I could and Chris and I walked slowly to the school. I think he could tell that I was nervous, that I wanted to prolong the moment I walked into that building for as long as I could.

When we approached, Paul wasn't outside the door, waiting for me like he always did. I hadn't told Chris about what Paul had said; how could I? So he didn't know not to ask, "Where's the boyfriend? Didn't you tell him you were coming back today?"

"No," I said curtly.

In gym, Paul was there. I don't know why, but I'd half expected him to be absent. He didn't so much as look at me.

I snuck out of the room before class was over. I couldn't handle this yet. It would be a long time before I could be around Paul without breaking down.

I shouldn't have been surprised that he followed me. I shouldn't have been surprised that he was concerned. He probably thought that I'd gone to the nurse or something, that I was still not feeling well. I knew that, despite the fact that he was ignoring me, he still cared.

So he found me in a deserted wing, sobbing. He rushed over and put his arms around me. It felt nice, so nice. He hadn't touched me in two weeks.

"This isn't working out, is it?" Paul asked. I shook my head miserably. Already, the tears were slowing. His presence had been exactly what I needed.

"Don't leave again," I begged.

"I don't think I can. I don't think you realize just how hard this was for me, staying away from you. I thought you'd be okay. I thought that this wouldn't hurt you so much. I thought that maybe if I just kept to myself, you'd be able to move on. But… now I'm thinking I was wrong," he said with a faint smile. I could only imagine how I looked. Not my best, I was sure. Crying was never a pretty thing. But I was feeling better than I had in weeks.

"Don't go away," I said again.

"Never."