Title: Just Call Me Beautiful....
Summary: When all you want is to be called beautiful, then for it to happen by a God, how can you even trust yourself and reality. He is still out there; Edward wouldn't leave me alone...in this terrible, unsafe world. Would he? "Bella...you okay?" Carlisle asked me from Edward's bedroom door, I looked at him uncertainly and stabbed the knife down.
Warning: Uhm...I am trying a different approach. The other I did was about Bella and Edward getting married. I am going to try it where they never did get married because Edward died saving her life (the last battle before their marriage, refer to the third book, Eclipse by Stephanie Meyer.) I don't own this wonderful world, Meyer does. Reviews are nice. There will be flashbacks (very few!) I may add a twist...I am not sure so expect it. =]
Dedication: to all of you, the people that keep reading my writing. Love you guys =]
Genre: Romance
Enjoy- *hearts* Kylie
I will never forget the way he took my hand, or the way he held me every night. The way his hair smelled, his laugh, or the way his eyes made me melt and the way his kisses let me know I was still alive - flirting with death. He was my life, every bit of it. Hell he was the only reason why I was alive. Why would he die...God's don't die, do they?
CRUNCH
I looked up startled, and scanned the road that I was walking on.
A twig laid underneath my foot in two pieces, life snaps like that too.
My hair wound around my face when the wind blew, I lowered my head a little and kept walking forward. There was a car in the distance but it was heading away from me, I was alone.
Forever
I fought back the tears as I walked into a patch of light and I smiled more to myself and then I looked up at the sky.
Something to the right catching my eye, I looked down and it was just my ring, the ring Edward had given me.
We were going to get married.
Just call me beautiful, and hold me close.
(Flashback: three weeks before Edward was killed.)
"Funny Edward the meadow has nothing on you, although it is beautiful."
"Ha ha, well you have everything on everyone. I love you my Bella."
I smiled and took his hand in my own, loving the electric shocks that went through my hand at his very touch, "I love you Edward."
"Okay you two are getting sappy, let's stop." Emmet called from the chair he was sitting in.
"Awe does little Emmet miss his toy?" I asked with a laugh and winked at him.
"Piss off." He muttered and crossed his arms around his body, sinking lower into his chair.
Edward got off the couch me and him were sitting on and went to answer the phone. I got up and walked over to Emmet's chair and sat on the arm of it.
"I didn't mean to make you mad, Emmet." I laughed and poked his side, lightly, knowing he couldn't possibly be ticklish.
To my surprise he laughed and squirmed in this seat.
"Please don't do that Bella." He said lightly and I just stared at him.
"YOU'RE TICKLISH!" I squealed and smiled.
"Yeah...we all are. We still have human bodies." I couldn't stop the smile from forming on my lips as Edward walked into the room. Emmet let out a bear laugh, causing me to giggle more.
Edward looked confused.
"What is so funny?"
I snorted, "Like you can't get into Emmet's mind?"
Emmet shook his head, "I am blocking him Bella, I like the way you think."
"Ha ha, poor Edward." I smiled at him and got up, walking very slowly towards him still laughing.
"I don't like this...." Edward trailed off as I gave him my best seductive look I could muster. His face froze and backed towards the wall, Emmet howling with laughter. "Teasing isn't very nice honey." Edward gulped and swallowed as much air as he could when his back hit the wall.
I giggled again, "You would know all about that, wouldn't you Edward?" I laughed as he cocked his eyebrow. When I was foot away from him, I smiled wider. He just gulped and looked uncertain.
"I think you scare him, Bella." Emmet commented. I laugh louder and Edward shot a glare at Emmet.
"Awe play nice, are you scared?" I smiled and wrapped both of my arms around him.
"A little bit." He shrugged and I giggled again.
"Uhm...Emmet, is there anything that could harm me from doing this?" I asked quickly.
"Nope, just a lot of laughing, Edward is the worst."
Edward stiffened and I assume caught most of the idea from something in Emmet's mind, I laughed loudly and before Edward could process anymore I tickled him around the same area that I had poked Emmet.
Edward held back his laughter for about three seconds and then he giggled; I stopped moving and looked at him in curiosity.
"Edward Cullen giggles?" I asked through laughter of my own.
Emmet laughed so loud that the room shook.
Esme, Alice, Jasper, and Carlisle came rushing down the stairs to see what was going on.
I still had my hand in the area where I had been tickling him and Emmet was on the floor laughing, I joined in and Edward just stared at us with unbelieving eyes. I tried to control my laughter but wasn't getting anywhere.
Finally Jasper piped up, "What did we miss?"
I tried to speak but only laughed harder, and Emmet just shook his head trying to gain control of himself.
Edward looked mortified and finally looked away from me and Emmet and out the window.
I finally stood up clutching my side and took a deep breath, "Edward....*giggles*...giggled....*giggles*....when I...*giggles*...tickled him." I started laughing again but stopped when Edward turned to look at me, a wicked smile on his lips.
Edward was standing in front of me and then he was on top of me and we were on the couch, all the way against the wall. I shook my head 'no' franticly but Edward just smiled and then he was tickling me everywhere he could touch and I was laughing, then to his embarrassment I reached up and tickled him the exact spot I had before causing him to giggle again.
Everyone laughed again.
Even Edward.
"Hey, do you need a ride honey?" A guy asked slowing down next to me.
"No thank-you, I am getting ready to turn off into a side road up here, and then I will be home." I smiled sadly when I said the word 'home.'
"I could take you up there...if you want." He raised his eyebrows at me with a sneaky smile. I laughed to myself, Sex...Edward would hate that.
"I can manage, thank- you though." I waved him off.
He smiled, "Well...maybe I will see you some other time, when you have more time."
"I'll look for you." I giggled as he smiled wider.
"I'll wait." He waved good-bye then sped off.
I'll wait
His voice rang through my head; he always said that...always. He never had to doubt anything about me to him. But he said he would wait...always.
How can you love a person so much that any type of memory of them makes you cry? It hurts how much I loved him; I would never be able to look at another person out of affection. Edward was my affection.
Sweat slide down my right eyebrow. I looked back at the sun; it was around noon and a rare sunny day here.
We should be in the meadow, or we should be laying on his couch listening to music, maybe we would be with my friends at a movie...but no I am walking to his house, while he is somewhere in heaven, or close to it.
Where is my Edward?
My love, someone special.
I would have died for him...
Just call me beautiful, and just hold me close.
(Flashback: two months before Edward was killed.)
He sighed when he looked at me, "Bella, why do you do this?"
I smiled and flipped my hair over my shoulder, "Whatever are you talking about dear Edward?"
He didn't smile but just rolled his eyes, the front door opened. Edward still didn't take his eyes off of me, but he did let his eyes lighten somewhat.
I was still smiling when I heard Charlie take in his breath.
"Hello father." I smiled again and turned to face him fully.
"What in the hell?" Charlie hung up his gun and coat.
Edward cleared his throat, and I laughed.
It was blue, Edward loved blue on me. 'That color looks lovely on you', he said that every time I wore blue.
Every time.
"Bella...where do you think you are going, dressed like that?"
I was baffled. "Dressed like what father? It is just a blue dress!"
Charlie smiled a little, "I see...that...I mean, what occasion is calling for a dress?"
I shrugged and turned to Edward.
He held up his hands, "My instructions were pick Bella up at 7:30 sharp. It is 7:25."
"Bella?" Charlie turned to me.
I glared at Edward and he smiled, "Alice told me to dress up, I told her I didn't have anything, she gave me this. I have no idea either."
Edward looked shocked; he knew I wasn't lying.
As did my father, I can't lie so I don't even try to.
"Well...I don't want to make her mad, so get on then you two." Charlie opened the door again and ushered us out.
I kissed him on his cheek and he shook Edward's hand.
"Edward...you seriously don't know either?" I asked when he closed his door.
I pulled the seatbelt over my torso and buckled it in.
"No I don't. Alice said she would call." He shrugged and pulled out of the driveway, onto the street.
I shrugged too, and fiddled with the radio, settling on a Fallout Boy CD I had left in his car.
"Okay. Yeah. Bye." Edward clicked the phone shut, and I looked up at him expectantly.
He just laughed and kept driving.
I gave him my best 'puppy dog' lip, causing him to laugh more.
"We are going to my house." He said matter-of-factly.
"I had to get dressed up for your house, Edward I am always at your house and sometimes I even sleep there and Alice wants me to wear this dress and you to wear that nice shirt and outfit. Why?" I demanded crossing my arms over my torso.
"We are having a party. A diner party, and no you are not the only human coming, the only one coming as a date to me, but not the only one." I smiled and kissed the top of his hand.
He opened the door for me and helped me out, I stepped on the concrete with my high-heeled shoe, and "Edward please don't let me fall tonight." I said looking down at my leg that was in between an expensive pair of high-heels with wrap up lace to the middle of my thigh.
He followed my gaze and smiled despite himself, "Remind me to thank Alice, please?"
"Depends on how many times I stumble, but like you will forget." I rolled my eyes and Edward pulled me up the stairs and into his house, there were a lot of people there already and I went bright red as everyone looked at me.
"There is my son and his fiancé. Isn't she lovely?" Carlisle's voice sang throughout the stunned group of people, I am sure they were staring at Edward.
He was the God, anyway.
Carlisle took my coat and hung it up, "We were waiting on you two." I smiled and gave him a hug, Esme was right next to him and she kissed my cheek and hugged me.
"I love you, you are beautiful." Edward whispered with his head on my shoulder and his arms wrapped around my waist.
"You too, thank you." I smiled and then Edward led us into the dining area.
I looked down; I stepped on the concrete with my high-heeled shoe.
The concrete, something soild.
It was slick, like water had been spilt on it. Maybe rain from an early shower. I looked up at the house.
No one was there; no one had been there for the past three weeks.
I opened the door and let myself in.
Wiping off my high-heeled shoes.
Same outfit from about three months ago, now.
Blue dress, low cut, short, shimmy, and cute.
Black high-heeled shoes, small, tall, and wrapping lace.
Edward's ring, Edward's necklace, and Edward's heart- inside of me.
I walked up the stairs, and past every bedroom. Another small flight of stairs and then stood at Edward's door.
Just call me beautiful, just hold me close.
And that is what he always did.
(Flashback: the day before Edward was killed.)
Edward wrapped his arms around me, and kept rocking me back and forth. I shivered, not because I was cold, the electric shocks that went through me, still startled me and left me uneasy.
I leaned into him a little more and titled my head onto his shoulder. He kissed the top of my head and his fingers traced my spinal cord and drew circles around my back.
"I love you Bella, you are so beautiful."
I blushed and laid my head on his arm, "Thank you. I love you too, Edward."
His chuckle shook the bed a little and I laughed too. Edward looked down at me when I looked up at him, he cupped my chin in his hand I closed my eyes.
He blew his breath in my face and I felt my head spin a little, but kept my eyes closed, then his lips were over mine. I pushed back and grabbed his arms trying to pull him closer to me, he laughed lightly before pushing me back down onto the bed.
I frowned at him in frustration.
"What do you dream about at night Bella?"
I looked at him in mock horror, "Why does that matter Edward?"
xXx
The night you dream about me, is the night I will know I have caused you too much pain and heart ache.
I always dream about you silly.
I mean...actually dream, about me and you together. Forever.
That was the worst night in the world, I hated it.
xXx
"I just want to know...what you dream about." He shrugged and kept the rocking motion going.
"You know I dream about you Edward."
"Yes...what about me, exactly?"
"Uhm...Edward...really?"
"Yes really." He was getting more irritated by the second; I could hear it in his voice.
"Just good stuff." I nodded, expecting that to close the discussion.
"Why won't you just tell me?" He pulled back to look in my eyes. I kept my eyes close.
"Because it is none of your business." I said matter-of-factly
"You are impossible!" He threw his hands up in frustration.
I kept my eyes closed and turned away from him to burrow under the covers.
He didn't say anything to me for a while and I just stared at the black cover wall and hugged the big comforter closer to me.
I didn't fell the bed move but in a matter of five seconds I had gone from staring at the black wall to looking up at the ceiling and having Edward laying over me.
I stared at him with big eyes, Edward had his eyes closed, and his breathing was ragged. He ran one hand from my shoulder down to my hip; his hand rested there when he opened his eyes and met my own.
I pulled in an unsteady breath and looked at him fiercely, just now registering that he no longer had a shirt on him and he too was under the covers careful not to touch me with anything but his hands.
xXx
I may not be human Bella, but I am still a man. (Quote from Stephanie Meyer, first book Twilight.)
xXx
He leaned down to kiss me; my hair, forehead, cheek, chin, collar bone, shoulder, arm and hip. Following the path of his hand, he looked back up at me.
I looked away at the ceiling and closed my eyes, "I dream about me and you Edward. Together, forever." I whispered
"This isn't about that anymore Bella, this is something more. I want you." He took my face with his left hand and directed my attention back to himself. He was smiling at me, and I was just looking at him in shock.
"What do you mean Edward?" I croaked my throat suddenly dry.
"May I?" He asked gently running his finger over the top of my pajama bottoms.
I nodded his cool fingers slide under the top of my pajama pants and started to pull them down, I took a deep breath.
I wanted to touch him but I just couldn't bring myself to move, he was so focused that I couldn't bring myself to move at all in fear that this would end too soon.
He looked back at me in question and I nodded again. Then he slid both hands up my pajama top letting his lower body rest against mine slightly.
He froze and looked at me concerned, I stopped breathing.
It's over?
"Edward please?"
He smiled finally and laughed softly, "I just wanted to make sure this is what you wanted too."
Too...the way you say that. I smiled to myself as the top of my outfit came over my head.
He sucked in his breath and scanned my body before meeting my eyes again. I smiled and he did too, "You are so beautiful."
I sighed contently as he laid his whole body on me and started to kiss me all over. I finally found the strength to move my arms and I took my hand through his hair and played with the strand of it on the back of his neck.
"Bella, I love you so much. No matter what happens it will always be you. I promise." Edward looked down at me and stopped all the movements. I looked at him startled.
"Edward...don't talk like this please." I sighed and dropped my hands.
"I can't say I love you? What kind of love is this Bella then?" He looked confused.
"I love you too. But the whole 'no matter what happens...' shit can stop." I pulled him closer to me and wrapped myself around him.
"Okay...fine, if you wish." He wrapped himself around me.
"I do." I smiled even wider and he kissed me.
xXx
I screamed his name at my release and he followed suit.
"God damn Bella." His breath was ragged as he said my name.
I lay motionless; he rolled off of me and lay very close to me, but kept from touching me.
"Edward?" I whispered his name into the silence.
"Bella?" he reached for my hand.
I laced our fingers together and turned to look at him, "Just hold me close, and call me beautiful."
Edward pulled me on top of him and wrapped both arms around me, "You are beautiful."
"I love you Edward."
His chuckle was the last thing I heard before I fell asleep.
I walked across the room and turned on some music, it was the CD I had made him. Some classical music, a couple country songs that we both made fun of and a lot of the alternative songs our friends turned us on to.
I turned a lot of circles and danced across his room when I hit the couch, I toppled over laughing. When my head hit the pillow on the couch I took a deep breath and then started crying.
He smelled so good!
We used to sit here and listen to music on the couch talking, reading, doing homework, or just sitting together to scared to let go knowing this could be the end at anytime, any day.
I stripped off my coat...his coat. It was at my house and I just kept it with me. I have worn it every day since that...day. I laid it on his couch and stood up, walking over to the wall that had all of our pictures on them.
The first one of us together, prom picture, and first date picture, group picture, a couple ones of just me, the one of me and his family and the one of all of us--our friends, his family and my family.
Then the one he always said was his favorite, I and Alice were sitting together and we were both dressed in identical dresses. I hated it because I was so close to perfection, sitting there with her, that I just couldn't take looking at the picture because Alice is so pretty and I am so not. It hurts now, but he always said, 'Bella you are so much more beautiful than anyone I know...or any type of human form I know.'
I took off my shoes and laid them across the floor. The last place to look at was the closet.
All of his clothing, I opened the door. Edward wore all of these and he looked so lovely in each one.
Behind the door on the left was the knife.
I took off my dress and laid it across the floor looking at it. I took the knife and sat it across my lap with my back against the closet wall.
When all you want is to be called beautiful, then for it to happen by a God, how can you even trust yourself and reality. He is still out there; Edward wouldn't leave me alone...in this terrible, unsafe world. Would he?
"Bella...are you okay?" Carlisle asked me from Edward's bedroom door, I looked at him uncertain and stabbed the knife down.
Behind him walked in the guardian angel that I was looking for. I smiled widely and cried out, "Oh my you made it to heaven, Edward?"
I cried again as I pulled the knife out of me.
"What the hell Bella!" He screamed and was flying at me.
"Are you not happy that you get to see me?" I cried again in pain as I picked the knife up.
"Bella! Don't...I am here...can't you see?" He grabbed the knife from my hand and threw it across the room. "Stop with all of this now!"
Carlisle ran across the room to meet Edward.
The last thing I heard was Edward crying.
"Don't cry Edward I did this for you...."
xXx
I can only wait for him now. I love him so much and to watch him go through all of that pain, wow. That hurts more then to think he would die.
Edward dying, am I crazy?
Edward had always said he loved me and that no matter what truly happened between me and my decisions he would still love me and there was nothing I, or anyone, could do about it.
If that is so damn true then why can't he look at me? I mean honestly if my decisions don't matter then he should still love me...even now. After all of that.
I have a few theories about it all,
Edward hates me now,
Edward can't believe I would be so self-centered,
Or
Edward lied to me because he just doesn't love me anymore.
I don't care what he says I just want to see him once more, if that is all, and nothing could ever go wrong with our last time, I hope.
I need him, just once more.
I know that as I sit on this cloud and look down at him, walking to his death, that even though we are both, basically, committing suicide we will be together in heaven...because we died for love.
This burning sensation is terrible but I know I must go through this to be an angle with Edward, forever. Me and my Edward, together, forever!
This is love.
I hope that he will look at me here, in hell.
Just call me beautiful and hold me close.
xXx
(NPOV)
They are together now.
Never alone.
Forever.
They have the love they needed and wanted.
In a place far from here and hell.
Dying for each other, dying for the love of each other.
Forever.
He held her close, she loved him.
He walked away and paid another...monster....
He died alone in the smoke of smog
Never alone
Forever.