"I regret, honestly, the translation errors there may be. I'm from Argentina and my English is not enough for a translation of my own. Thank you for reading!"I regret, honestly, the translation errors there may be. I'm from Argentina and my English is not enough for a translation of my own. Thank you for reading!I regret, honestly, the translation errors there may be. I'm from Argentina and my English is not enough for a translation of my own. Thank you for reading!
CHAPTER 01
The night was too cold to be on the street, but that did not matter, the enigmatic writer who had been known worldwide under the pseudonym Yuki Eiri went for a walk to clear his mind in a bar. No matter how famous he was, he still did not achieve his goal. With his latest novel released to the market, he had received a great recognition, quite unpleasant by the way, as "The prince of the light novel" according to criticism. Who would know how that title began, but the journalists quite lazy to find out about the truth, had echoed those words and repeated them like demonized parrots, not enough with it hiding behind old phrases like "Not everything that is popularly sold, it is the best. "
In the scene, a new young man had appeared and many claimed that the talent he possessed was much better than his own, or at least that he could overcome it at any moment. At the beginning he thought that they were ravings of the people who envied his success, it was not because he believed himself superior ... although some of that also had but he was not going to deny that he managed to stay on top for quite some time and especially in the last one he had achieved an advantage important, even, about his imitators. Style he used, a style they copied almost blatantly.
But speaking of that boy, he could not deny that his writing had much of a poet and in a country like Japan, poetry was highly appreciated since feudal times, where women and men of high society were revealed in endless nights writing poetry and drinking sake. But in addition, he had a certain gift for telling stories that he would not have thought of even in the craziest dreams, although he suspected that the reason why they compared him, too, was the boy's good resemblance, it was not as beautiful as the blonde but it was striking enough.
The advantage of being beautiful where most of the intellectuals are not, he always saw that as a disadvantage. The writers did not take it seriously, they said he sold more because of his love scandals and that his partner was a male singer with a rising career. Whenever he saw an interview by a famous writer or crossed them at the fairs where his books were presented, he was treated politely by other authors but never went beyond that.
- You're still thinking too much. - A familiar voice took him out of his reverie. - You should not give him more importance than they deserve. - He said as he pointed to the barman asking for a beer for himself.- You said you would stop drinking because your boyfriend scolds you too much.
- Yes, good . - He answered looking at the beer in his glass while he ran his fingers through the mouthpiece. - I do not think everyone can comply with what they say.
Dark brown eyes settled on him with a knowing smile that gently creased his features. Tachibana was a man around forty, a mature man who inspired confidence. The first meeting they had at the bar was not something really worth mentioning, they were always there occasionally and they started to say hello, who knows why and with the weeks that passed the greeting became conversations. Simple talks in which both spoke about their problems with each other. He had discovered that Tachibana was an administrative officer who had recently divorced and had gone to the bar to think about what he would do with the custody of his six-year-old daughter, the lawyer had not been very optimistic about his case. At first he thought he was a drunk but over time he understood that he preferred to be at the bar rather than in an empty house.
-What happened this time? - He asked.- Couple problems?
- Something like that. - He admitted, while turning the glass. That night he had shouted at Shuichi telling him some cruel things, but honestly today he was not in the mood to put up with his lover. Not after pressing his head for some idea that was original but in which he did not notice his desperation to copy the style of another author, for that reason he had refused to finish reading the books of the young man they talked about so much.
His cell phone rang and he realized that it was already eleven thirty at night. He knew who he was before looking at the caller ID.
-What? - He said reluctantly.
- Eiri, where are you? - Shuichi's uncertain voice asked.
- I'm at the bar. - On the other side there was a pause and that bothered him internally, he did not know why but Shuichi's jealousy sometimes overwhelmed him, sometimes the boy raved a little more. Surely many times he believed that he left exclusively to look for someone else. - Do you feel relieved that he is not with another woman?
Tachibana posed a surprised sight in Eiri to twist her mouth a bit in disapproval. Internally Eiri also sent him to the devil at that time, that he was a person with whom he chatted occasionally, did not give him the right to immerse himself in the relationship.
-Is not that. - Stuttered. - Will you come? Shuichi asked in a voice that was no more than a trickle.
-Don't wait for me awake.
There was a new pause but neither did he wait for an answer before cutting. Eiri looked at Mr. Tachibana again, he had to admit to himself that he had already drunk enough for four hours. He said goodbye with a nod without words staggering slightly towards the exit and heard the voice of the drunkard telling him not to drive, in a low voice replied "I'm not stupid enough to do that."
He walked through the neighborhood where most of the hotels were for the night and maybe he would take a couple of prostitutes, he thought gracefully that at least in sex he did have a lot of imagination. This time I did not have the desire, nor the time to woo young people so that later they ended up doing the difficult ones. I also did not feel like going back to the apartment and playing Shuichi with the loving boyfriend. This time I wanted pure sex with no chatter.
He searched the corners through which he passed, there was a group near the entrance to a club halfway down the block. Coloradas, blondes, morenas paraded their way saying repeated phrases, it seemed that all studied the same script that translated into "Hello handsome, you want to fuck? Do you have enough money to take me?" while they raised their chests with their hands to show off the merchandise and pressed their lips to the trunk that made them look ridiculous. Eiri knew quite well that place in Tokyo and had some prostitutes that he used with some regularity, let's say he knew some VIP places where "luxury prostitutes" were offered, who were looking for tourists, cheated them and sometimes robbed them. There were others who were models or singers that nobody knew and hoped to get connections, and other women, to whom their times of splendor had gone through some scandal.
They were not much better than those on the streets, but at least most of them were not all stuck to some kind of drugs, he personally preferred that they did not consume any but he did not care what they did with their bodies, always there would be another to replace the previous one. Seeing these women always reminded him that beauty fades.
As soon as he entered the club, the air was vitiated by a mixture of smoke, body heat and confinement, which made his eyes and nose prick. He looked around the place, drawing people's attention as they noticed it. He did not have to wait long until a pretty, pretty young blonde girl insinuated himself from the bar, and he was not the type to resist such temptations. He did not have to go with excuses, he knew what he had gone to look for and because of the girl's clothes and the caresses she gave to the buttons of his shirt with a smile on her lips she knew that was what she had to offer .
As soon as the dawn sun hit his pale face he tried to move, noticing a weight on his back and an arm at his waist that prevented him from moving. He tried to sink his face into the pillow to continue sleeping, but it smelled horrible. Memories of the previous night came to his mind, unfortunately he did not remember much more since they went up to the hotel room with the blonde and they drank. Fuck! Now I would have to pay for sex that I did not even remember well that I would have had, but I could assure you that after all they were naked just covering themselves with the sheet and felt the humidity in their lower part. He hoped at least not to have been a disappointment, it was not as if it really mattered, but his pride kept insisting with the thought. He reached out to reach for his pants where he could see the cell phone in his pocket. He rubbed his eyes and tried to focus his eyes on the screen, as he sat free of the arm that held him.
He received the image of Shuichi smiling as he took his arm, a wallpaper that he probably placed when he found an opportunity, at that moment the guilt hit him so hard that he wanted to be by his side. She put on her clothes with some haste in a silent way, wanting to avoid the uncomfortable morning chat, she took her wallet and left a little more money than agreed.
He arrived at the apartment and Shuichi turned to look at him almost immediately from the kitchen, apparently he was washing the dishes by the sound of running water, although it was strange to find him doing that, they had reached an agreement that if they used a cover after using it they had to wash it to maintain a minimum of order in the house since due to the work of each one they did not have so much time. But it was the weekend and this time neither of them had any commitments.
Eiri approached to see him in silence, could notice the tension in the singer who turned his eyes to the dishes in front of him.
- I thought you were not going back.
-It's seven in the morning. His voice was conciliatory, even to himself . "I told you to sleep.
He stirred when he heard those words, leaning his arms out on the counter, with a certain weariness. " I could not do it. He tried to remain calm but the tremor in his voice betrayed the anguish he must have felt all night.
The blonde cut the distance that separated them by taking him by surprise at the waist and approached his ear, he could feel the singer's struggle between standing or surrendering to his touch, had closed his eyes to not see it but Eiri could assure that they were reddened
-We go to bed, today you do not have to work, right?
- You did not have enough last night? He claimed, after saying it, seemed to remember the source of his suffering and struggled to break free of the writer's arms. -Let go.
"No," he said, pressing himself harder against the boy , he smelled Shuichi's neck. It smelled of a mixture of fruity perfume and the particular smell of it. Shuichi continued struggling with a sob that the blond knew he had been holding.
-Let go.
-No. - He repeated the answer firmly, sticking more. He knew that sometimes he liked to refuse but always ended up yielding, like a game.
-I'm not playing, you suck Eiri! - yelled the pelirosa stopping struggling when the blond loosened the grip almost slowly releasing it. The legs of the singer trembled so much that he returned to hold on to the counter. The blond released him completely taking a few steps back, it was as if he had slapped him, Shuichi remained with his head down.
-I'll go for a shower.- Feeling some shame for not having been a little more considerate with your partner. -After ... we'll go to bed. - I knew it was stupid to insist on it, but it would be more stupid for him to admit that he had missed his heat . -I'm sure you did not sleep at all, right?
He remained for a while looking at the small figure who did not turn to look at him, waited a moment but seeing no reaction he walked to the room taking a change of clothes to sleep and went straight to the bathroom. He opened the tap waiting for the water to heat up and at that moment he heard the entrance door closed in the distance.
-Shuichi? - He called almost inaudibly, went to the room but it was already empty.
The relationship was falling apart, the neighbors were tired of hearing their daily fights. He was still surprised that the boy had endured so much. Everything had been an explicit agreement from the beginning, he knew that Eiri would not give up his libertine life and the singer had agreed to stay with him forever, as long as the writer told him to do so. Up until now it had been two years and the situation seemed not to have changed from the beginning.
Several times the ojiambar in some discussions had told him to look for a girlfriend or a lover, so he would not be on top of him all the time. He knew that Shuichi would not do it and the singer also knew that he would not ... because both knew the truth behind the words, Eiri wanted to diminish the guilt of being the only one of the two that had lovers outside the relationship of both .
He finished bathing and walked to the studio, first of all and still worrying, he called the guitarist's house, Hiro, who shouted at him to kill him and finally calm down and tell him that Shuichi was there. The writer never lost his arrogant and cold tone, but before hanging up he told her that he would go through it at night.
He did several things to make the time pass a little faster. Lately he felt more restless than usual, he had always had a latent fear that Shuichi could not stand his behavior and abandon him. He did not want to admit that more than afraid to be left alone, what he really was afraid of was that it was Shuichi who left him alone.
It was still early, they had spent 5 hours in the house in absolute silence so he decided to call Thouma his brother-in-law, ex-keyboardist of Nittle Grasper and owner of NG Shuichi's boss. He invited him to come by his house in the afternoon to chat. Will Shindou be there? He asked with some annoyance in his voice, still did not understand why the deep hatred of his brother-in-law for his lover but one thing was for sure ... he hated it. Sometimes they argued because the owner of NG filled his mouth with shit when he talked about Shuichi and when he confessed that he was unfaithful, it seemed that Thouma was more than happy and he knew that if he proposed it, his brother-in-law would be, person who would cover up his crime.
- I do not think that guy was for you. I still do not understand why you're still with him.
-Thouma I've heard that several times already, do not you think?
His brother-in-law grimaced in disgust. - Mika believes the same ... until Thatsuha has begun to believe it.
That surprised the writer enough. - Why? I thought Thatsuha liked him.
- No. It's Ryuchi that he likes Shuichi and you know how Thatsuha is when it comes to Ryuchi . - He frowned a little - Listen Eiri, that guy is not like you think he is.
"Why?" He fixed his amber eyes like daggers.
-Eiri ... we only want the best ... he understands .- The president of NG dropped his cup and knelt to be closer to his protégé.
- And Shuichi is not enough for me? Is that?
- No, no, no. Eiri. Tell me, why did that boy get into your house by force and you're practically living as maintained by you?
-Do you think I do not know who I'm living with? He asked with obvious annoyance, ignoring what his brother-in-law said to him. " I did not invite you to offend my partner in my house. A person who is not here to defend himself, whatever you are accusing him of.
- Eiri ...- He called trying to pacify the waters .- That guy works but never brings anything right?
- Are you saying that Shuichi is only with me for money?
The older blond looked at him with some regret. He did not want to argue about the singer and win the hatred of his brother-in-law, he never heard of reasons when it came to Shindou. He smiled at her with some sadness and resignation. " You're right, maybe I'm exaggerating.
They took the coffee that the writer and the cakes had prepared, they spoke about unimportant subjects trying to forget the previous discussion, as always the problems seemed to be covered like garbage under the carpet. When he fired his brother-in-law he decided that enough time had passed for the singer to reflect on his attitude, because for him he did not really think he should feel some guilt. It's not like I've hidden something from him, it's not like I've lied to him.
When he approached Hiro's house, Shuichi was already at the door waiting for him as he had so many times before. He could not prevent a smile from escaping, whenever they separated for a long time some part, inevitably, yielded to the other. It was something invisible, it was a gravitational force and when that happened the connection was stronger and nothing in the world felt as right as being together.
While they traveled, none spoke, it was another of the things implicit in the relationship, no part should be given glory for the victory or defeat of the other, because in the end would not admit that they had missed. They had a quick dinner while pretending to watch television, avoiding the questions that really had to be asked ... doing that was just waiting for a time bomb to break out between them.
The amethyst eyes were swollen and could barely stay in the light because of the burning. The blonde walked to the kitchen and looked for some cold understanding, approached Shuichi and without much more than a "let me see" hugged him with one of his arms pulling him to his chest without finding resistance while the other covered his eyes, without doing a comment. He had cried for him, how long would he have cried for him? How long would it have missed him? the writer asked himself while at times some sobbing escaped him.
The writer hugged him tightly and drowned the singer's cry with his own mouth. He kissed him, soft but firm, without stopping. A salty kiss of warm tears. The singer clung tightly to his arms and Eiri arranged him so that he could lift him up to take him into the room. He left it on the bed, while the blonde took off his shoes and shirt, Shuichi remained still following his movements with his eyes.
-I do not want to do it Yuki. - He prayed.
When he took off his shirt, he smiled at her. " I'm not a super man, Shuichi. I just want to sleep hugging my partner. -Shuichi smiled at her as she wiped her nose. Although it was not necessary. He asked .- Can I?
Laughing, she nodded pinkly several times, began to take off her clothes until she was in her underwear. Shuichi lay down looking towards the wall and behind him the writer hugging him, but even when he turned off the light the child's body did not relax at all.
-You're thinking very hard, you will not let me sleep. -The writer said in a tired voice. There was a long pause before I heard a whisper but it was clear and audible by the silence of the room.
-I have a lover.
The blonde took a deep breath before answering. - What do you work on?
-It's ... an entrepreneur.
Eiri smiled in the darkness, he knew it was a lie. -I did not know you were a Snob. Could not it be ... I do not know, a grocer or a street artist?
-I'm serious, Yuki.- He said turning looking into the darkness where his face should be.
-I know, I know.- He said without hiding the amusement in his voice.- If he has a lot of money or an inheritance, we can swindle him together.
Shuichi remained silent as if disappointed by the writer's reaction.
-Well ...- Eiri said following him in the game, hugging him harder against his chest and tangling his legs. Maybe it was more beneficial for him if he followed the game, this time he would let him win. - If you have a lover, that means that there will not be so many claims of attention for me, right?
At the beginning of the new day more than the lighting of the room was aroused by the tingling of his arm, he had fallen asleep hugging the singer and he was on his arm. He tried to move his body a little to free himself without waking him, after yesterday he must have been more than tired. He looked so cute even though it was a disaster to sleep.
Shuichi always said that when he slept he seemed like the magazine models when they pretend that they do it, instead Shuichi was restless and woke up in different positions even when he was very tired, he snored and many times he was kicked. Every time he woke up his hair seemed to have gone through a hurricane, it seemed that he slept so deep that he had no worries but when he got up he did it like a spring, full of energy and he never stopped doing things.
She remembered that she had disconnected the phone during the middle of the week and had not reconnected it, although she had called him on her cell phone and gone to her apartment, she managed not to face it. He thought with some evil that he had already tortured his editor Mizuki enough and that he would call her just that day, just on his day off.
-You really are my executioner.- She said on the other side of the phone and amused the writer replied that he had only needed time without pressure to look for new ideas. He explained that this time he wanted to write something different, with a deeper meaning.
-Sensei. You know you should not let yourself be guided by what others write, you should not lose your personal touch. That boy ... Takeda Minako, he's only compared to you because he's young and good-looking. He is also talented and original, but the sales of his book have not the slightest comparison with the sales of his own. Do you know why? Because the books of that boy are elaborate and complicated, so much so that readers who do not want to waste time in reflecting on each fact and many subjects, find it tedious. It is not bad that it is popular, unfortunately today with the information on the Internet, if there is something that you like from the beginning you can easily choose something else that does.
After that talk the writer began to reflect on that, his work was not mediocre and he looked at the door. If he had it that hard, then how did Shuichi have it then? Months of work depended on a song of little more than three minutes, if that did not please then all the work was thrown away. There was no mercy for the artists and there were no considerations on the part of those who one day admired you and the next day they admired a new artist, they were not cases of "customer loyalty".
A banging behind the door brought him out of his thoughts. "Yuki, are you there?" The blond laughed, thinking how it was possible that he always knew when he thought of him. "Yes. I'm here." Shuichi told him it was okay that he thought he had left because he could not see the light under the door.
-Entra Shuichi.
The boy opened the door without moving from his place and the blond made a signal to him to approach, when he had it close enough he pulled him on his lap surprising him, the boy's back against the writer's chest. The shock on his face was evident, especially when he buried his nose in his neck.
- Tell me Shuichi. What is the new album you're writing about?
-Do you really wanna know?
The boy's voice was surprised and no doubt excited, the writer did not respond but nodded affirmatively with his face.
-It's like always ... a love story, it starts with a song that is the confession of a geiko.
- It's not very original that we say .
Shuichi smiled with a look that gave him to understand that there was something more than what it seemed.- It is never said in the song specifically but the Geiko makes a promise in which if her lover returns to her then she will stop doing services to the mens. He sighed loudly before continuing.
-Let me guess ... he never comes back for her .
Pelirosa nods. - No. But he decides that he does not want to look beautiful to any man and tragically tears his eyes.
That really surprised the writer. - Why the eyes?
-Because in the following songs I explain that she does not want to see things that she does not want to believe. He does not want to be dazzled again by beauty.
- Is not it very tragic for a pop artist?
He laughed lightly. - There the story does not end, one day a musician arrives at that place and manages to make him see things in the middle of his blindness, you know, with his voice. He was a man much older than her and he was not handsome, but he was kind and kind. They both fall in love and she admits that if she had not been blind, she could never have seen the goodness inside that man.
-I see you struggled a lot this time.- The boy smiled proudly. -What happens if your fans do not like it?
- Everything can happen. - He said while almost absentmindedly stroking the writer's arm. - The last album was not as good as we expected, it finished in 17th place on the Japanese charts. Eiri knew, he had seen Shuichi quite depressed at the time.
-What do you think could have happened?
-They said that this album sounded the same as the previous two and that none of them had a really interesting background to analyze. - He smiled at him this time with some bitterness. Now we gave him a good background to analyze, we only hope that the melodies that accompany the songs do not ruin him.
-Why would they do it?
-Because ... to tell this story we need to lower the pace and put more passion. They would not sound so ... danceable anymore, but we want them to take us seriously. It is risky to take a new sound but we have to do it.
That touched the writer in a certain way, turned the face of the hairy and rewarded him with a kiss. He would never tell her that this attitude was what most appealed to him.
-What is it that worries you Yuki? - He said while caressing the blonde hair and the face of Eiri. The writer knew that was the way to comfort him. - You are talented and beautiful.
The writer grimaced in the last comment, his face had nothing to do with talent.
- It may take time but you know that at the moment least thought an idea will come to your mind. I just think you should take the idea with which you feel safe and take the risk, if you fail. What does it matter? You fought for what you were sure was the right thing to do, try to get out of your comfort zone a bit. What you want most is to be recognized by your circle of writers, rather than readers, right? -Eiri nodded .- Then ... if you have any idea that is not about romance write it, insist with the publisher to publish it. There are many genres to explore.
- Since when did you become a motivator? - He asked with some amusement.
- Since I touched the bottom I realized that I could have gotten even deeper. If I was in the 17th position, how should the one who is in position 100 feel? or ... How should one feel that he did not get to be among the 100 positions? -The blond thought the words .- Remember that there is always someone in the background struggling to get out and the day less thought, can overcome you.
Shuichi smiled like a child and the blonde kissed him again, unlike the first time it was full of passion that soon transformed into lust. That place he considered his sanctuary had never witnessed his passion, until now, but he believed that this time he was fine. It was Shuichi, it was his lover, his first lover could say, because he was on the others and was the only one that would allow him to do other things that no one else could.
To him he showed his tears and smiles, only he could see his honesty without wrapping him in false courtships. Shuichi was the only one who would allow him to comfort him or for whom he would let him caress his face for him after making love for a long time, because he also enjoyed those caresses. When Shuichi appeared and was about to break after a fight, the blond hugged him before he could say something, because he saw terrified that in his face he said "I have to leave you". Shuichi could not leave him and he could not do it either.
Shuichi did not refuse his touch that very rarely was like in that moment, in a gentle way. They made it slow, savoring and telling themselves true things but that the writer before dawn would deny having uttered them. I would say it was a moment of weakness ... I even had the excuse before saying the words.
-You're leaving now?
Asked the naked boy on the sofa bed that the writer used when he had to spend hours to write his novel and needed to concentrate. The blonde put on his pants, just taking a pause to admire the boy's curves, the protruding clavicles, the hips joined to his long and aesthetic candy colored legs. Shuichi turned red and shifted, under the catlike gaze. It surprised him a little, to cover his thighs quickly with the shirt he wore.
-What can I say? I have to work.
- You already got your sexual satisfaction and now you can concentrate on work? - Said the youngest with something of mockery.- Now I'm not going to see you until you feel like eating?
-Shuichi ...- The writer said with warning and he knew that he should abandon his capricious child position if they did not want to argue. The boy apparently thought it was better not to try his luck.
-Hai ... hai ... I understood. - "Good boy" He heard the writer behind him say, I wish every day the writer was in that mood with him.
Late in the afternoon the phone that had been connected again rang, he could hear from far away that Shuichi was attending and then he walked towards his office. He knocked softly on the door before opening it, everything would have happened as if nothing were not that the boy's eyes could not find his face.
-You have a call.- He said in a monotone voice.
-Who?
-What? - He asked as if he were far away from there.
-Who? -The writer insisted.
-It's ... Mian Yue. He reached out, giving her the cordless phone. The expression of the writer was solemn, when he took the phone Shuichi stayed in the place.
-You can go. -Shuichi looked at him hesitantly to leave or stay there to listen. -Shichi ... go.
Until he did not hear Shuichi's steps away he did not think to say a single word.
-I told you not to call me here. He scolded her. " I do not want you to cross a word with Shuichi. Understand? I told you that if I did cut you when I did not take care of you.
-I called your cell phone but you did not take care of me. What did you want me to do?
-Damn! - He said when he saw his cell phone without a battery, he had not realized it was off. - What's wrong?
-I need to see you.
-It's too late, besides being a Sunday. I have no desire, no time.
-Moron! It's not because of that, do not believe so much. I just need to talk, it's something serious .
The writer touched the bridge of his nose, trying to count to ten. -Where?
-Come to my apartment.
-Shuichi is going to suspect. It was not that he really did not do it now, or that he was worried about confirming that situation, but he hated that his lovers had some control over him.
-If you do not want it to be more than a suspicion, it is best if you hurry.
-Do not threaten me.
-Then do not give me reasons to do it. Come now. - He demanded leaving the writer a humorous dog.
When he left the studio he could see Shuichi in the darkness of the living room in front of the TV watching a blind spot. He was worried, it was as if he wanted to say things to him, to claim him, but he did not do it because he was afraid that he would leave him. It was obvious that she knew who Mian Yue was ... she was just an attractive Chinese presenter who had once interviewed him ... right now, she had no reason to call him when the program for the one who worked was found out of emission.
-I'm going to leave.- The writer said watching the boy kept his chin on his knees, with lost eyes and control of the TV in his hand.- Do not stay awake, tomorrow you have to go to work.
"Are you going to take?" The pink haired man asked in a strained voice.
-Do not. And he saw a slight relief in his posture. - I'll try to come as soon as possible. So go to sleep. I'll leave the cell phone, it does not have a battery.
Shuichi frowned, he knew that was solved if he carried the portable charger. He really did not want to take it so that Shuichi would not bother him if he was late.
After twenty minutes on the road, the blonde was in front of the door of Mian Yue's apartment who wasted no time in opening the door and hugging him, with enthusiasm as if he had not seen his beloved after so long.
-I missed you. - He said on his neck that he smelled wildflowers. -Pass.
He remained serious and immutable, did not want to give the wrong impression, it was not as if he was excited to be there. He entered the place, taking in his curious gaze and could not avoid looking at her when he went to look for something to drink with a radiant smile.
-Sit down.
-Don't you tell me what was so important?
The gesture twisted in his sharp face, the joy of reunion wobbled slightly . -We can talk about that later, can not we?
-You said it was urgent.
She stopped quickly and took a few steps while wringing her hands with some pressure. He stopped as if he had found the courage and let go.
-I'm pregnant.
-What? - He said a bit stunned at the beginning, the fear invaded him ... fear that then turned into rage. - Do not tell me it's mine.
- And who else will it be?
-I do not know ... About your husband?
-My husband? I have not seen it for three months because I'm in Japan for work and I'm two behind. - She started sobbing in despair. - What will we do? I'm two months Eiri.
He asked again and again, but Eiri's head only worked on how to get rid of the problem.
-Go back to your country and do it with him, then when the baby is born tell him it was premature.
-It's not stupid, Eiri! - She knelt down and took his arm. - What do you think is the first thing he will do? As soon as it is born, it will ask to make a DNA.
-And that?! Not my problem!
- It's your problem as much as mine! Or you think that because there is not someone to compare the sample with, I will not say it's yours.
-Do not you dare.
The writer said as he stared at theirs like daggers. I would not know how I would do to face Shuichi if that happened. He imagined it as many times before in tears, he would know that there would be no comparison to anything that had happened before. In his head, the image of Shuichi telling him that he did not want him anymore, that he had endured too much, that he did not want to see him anymore. The image of the boy saying goodbye in the middle of a big fight and knowing that with the growing fame he had, there would be people willing to meet him ... to heal and comfort him. NO, he told himself. No, it was not an excuse for which he would be willing to lose Shuichi ... no matter what he had to do. - Tomorrow we will go to get it out.
-Motherfucker! She screamed immediately in a fit of fury.
-What the hell did you expect that would happen? Did you expect money or fame?
She turned her face hard and she just smiled again with irony. " I have money and I have fame. I can not believe that the great writer of romantic novels does not have a touch of tact when dealing with a woman. Do you think I wanted to get pregnant with you? From a writer of light novels? The blond deepened his brow, that was a low blow for him . "You're wrong, I just wanted to have a good time too. Not only men can do it, you know? - He placed himself in front of him with feigned dignity.
-Then we agree. She looked at him confused. " Neither of you wants that thing. He said pointing to her flat belly.
-You're right, neither of you wants it. But I'm not going to risk my life in one of those fake clinics. Because do not forget that I am the one who puts your body. We also run the risk of being recognized.
-I know a place, for a few bills they will not say a single word.
- What if something goes wrong? She said, I was really afraid of doing it and the writer knew how to deal with it more . "I'm alone here, Eiri. What happens if they open their mouths?
"Everything will be fine. " He softened his gaze and offered a reassuring smile. "I've done it before.
She opened her eyes in surprise and swallowed the lump in her throat before asking. -How often?
-You are the third one. She looked at a lost spot in the room and the writer placed a hand on his shoulder. I will be with you at all times. She sank into tears and he hugged her. After a moment when he had calmed down he lifted Mian's beautiful face and faced those beautiful eyes, kissed her. Mian took it from the lapel of the jacket and pulled him closer to the room. She was desperate and needed comfort. He thought he could do it one more time, after all the worst had already happened, right?
When he finally saw her asleep, he began to think about the darkness as he changed to go back to his apartment. He called the clinic and asked for a shift with a doctor he knew well. He promised himself that if he could get through this, he would never cheat Shuichi again. He promised himself that he would be a good boyfriend and that he would never cry again.
It was late when he arrived at his house and contrary to what he expected to see, Shuichi was in the kitchen apparently washing covered.
- Did you eat late?
-Do not. I just did not want to see the dirty cutlery. He went on talking without looking at him. -It helps me not to think.
-You were waiting for me?
Shuichi violently released the freshly rinsed silverware. - No. - He saw him support his arms and shake his head, emphasizing what he was saying. - I did not expect you to come back.
Eiri felt something strange, but he realized that he really expected that he had abandoned it. He had not come back fast as he had promised.
- Go to sleep.
-I do not want.
-Shuichi. Tomorrow you must go to work. -The boy did not want to see him and was afraid to touch him, because he knew he would run away from any contact.
- Stop pretending that you care about me! - He shouted in an outburst. - You go to sleep in the room, I'll sleep on the sofa. I do not want to see you today.
-Do not. -Responded ignoring the last sentence .- Go to sleep in the room, I'll sleep in the study.
-I will not discuss this Yuki. I can not sleep alone in the room.
Eiri kept watching him in silence but he knew that he should not press him when he had such tantrums. Tantrum, he thought if only he knew what had just happened was for much, much more than a tantrum.
-It's okay. - The writer said, although he knew that it was not good at all. Shuichi would just have to know that if he did not discuss that whim it was because he needed to also think about what would happen the next day.
That night he slept perfectly, surprisingly he had been so exhausted the day before that he slept very comfortably ... but there was no one beside him. Shuichi left at eight and it was already nine o'clock. He called his editor and told her that he would work on an idea, he would send it to them by mail.
She asked him to go to the publisher, just that day the "attractive young man" named Takeda Minako was there working. That surprised the writer who could not hide that he was curious to know him, he was one of the few writers who went to the publishing house to do most of his work, according to Mizuki, who was a perfectionist and who did not accept that any of the designs of the book, cover artwork, or even the size of letters will be overlooked. In addition, he preferred to make corrections at the time and not as "a certain writer," she said, emphasizing too much his taste.
-I'll go immediately.- He said in response before cutting, changing and taking his car.
In the editorial, everyone began to speak in an audible murmur when they saw the writer Yuki Eiri find his editor. The girls who worked whispered in small cries of admiration and undoubtedly giving him flirtatious looks that made him smile mentally, since he was accustomed to being the center of attention. At a point not far away he found her having a talk with another man and Takeda Minako, who was at his side. He raised his hand in greeting and she signaled him to come forward so he could present them.
When he was only a few meters away, he saw how the young man stared at him, even before arriving. Who'd say? thought the writer, the look of that boy was that of a nervous teenager.
- Nice to meet you, Yuki Eiri.
- I know , the boy answered almost in a whisper blushing. When he reached out to shake Minako's he felt something wet and trembling, so much so that it made him smile. He liked to know that in a certain way he was the one who bothered him.
The brown eyes were huge and dark, her brown hair fell in long beaks over her face. It was beautiful and delicate, and for that blush so obvious was not indifferent to the presence of the blond. It was a cute little gay thing.
The amber eyes fastened on him amused and silence was also made among the editors for an eternal pause. The boy's editor introduced himself but the blonde did not pay any attention to him ... Was that the Big Boy who was so respected among the new generation? Was he the one who wrote about the existentiality of the human, mixing poetry, philosophy, religion and evolution, in fiction? Without realizing it or perhaps consciously, he thought about how he could use his charm to get close to him. To know how to get to him, the young man shifted under his gaze and his cheeks turned red under his gaze. "Stop bothering him," Mizuki threatened him with gestures and clenched teeth.
-Your book was very good. I was very curious to meet the person behind that book- The writer said leaving Mizuki with his mouth open.
-Thanks.- He answered in a soft voice, before raising his head still ashamed. - I-I ... I started writing for you.
Eiri suspected that it was a lie, he had never focused on such abstract subjects ... it was obvious that he only said it to please him.
-I'm honored to hear that. With a charming smile, which dazzled everyone who saw her, she invited him to have a coffee and talk. The young man rejected him at first, but said that they could then agree to meet the next day.
-You ... can not believe that flirted like that in front of everyone.- Mizuki said first with anger and then with regret.- You ... you, You do not deserve someone like Shindou.
-Oh, come on. I'm playing. - He tried to soften the scolding, incredibly he felt in a good mood to have achieved an approach to the young prodigy of writing.
That night he went to visit the bar where he again found Tachibana already in several glasses, when he noticed his presence at his side a smile formed on his face.
-What are we doing today? - Asked the blond, while making a sign to the barman.- Celebrating or drowning sorrows?
The blonde never knew what to expect from that man, sometimes he smiled at how drunk he was even though it was a shitty day for him. Sometimes he smiled because he celebrated, but he still smiled.
-Feeling.- He said after thinking about it for a while and dragging the words more than usual.
-What happened?
-The mother of Chisato told me she wanted us to see each other again.
The blond knew he was referring to his ex-wife and their six-year-old daughter.
-Seriously? He asked with some confusion. He surprised himself at once, it was very strange that he was interested in knowing more about someone other than Shuichi.
- We begin to see each other again, she comes and goes. But when we are together it is as if we had recovered something from what we had before.
- But they were not doing the division of goods?
- Yes. - He sighed . - But I think that doing this can bring us closer again. She has remained alone like me all this time, we did not separate because we would have loved her that way. It was the relationship that wore out. We are already divorced, the property agreement is almost over ... only the custody of my daughter remained. If we went back together ... everything would be fine. She looked at him and slapped him on the back that almost makes him spit out the beer. " You should propose to your lover once and for all.
Eiri drowned the words and thoughts in his beer, that she returned to his bed did not mean that he wanted Tachibana again in his life and would feel some pity for that man. Then he realized the last words the accountant had said.
-We can not get married at least not in Japan. -Said like someone who does not take seriously what they say.
- Friend, sometimes, you must make sure that the person next to you can not easily leave.
-I do not need to do something like that. -The singer would not let him, of that he was sure.- But ... if that person wants to leave, neither a contract can prevent it.
Tachibana sighed .- No, what binds them is not a "contract", what can get to keep them is to know that you want it ... and if you do not want it What are you doing wasting time with it? It's as if you unconsciously expected me to leave you for someone else. How long do you think I can endure in an unstable relationship? You can not settle until you think you have the other person completely and let me tell you, your boyfriend does not seem to be half-hearted.
-I would love to continue listening to your advice from heart magazines, but I have something to do.
-Eiri! - He called before crossing the door. - At least let him know that you feel something for him.
He went out to get his car and called Mian Yue to tell her what would happen to her. I had to do it at that moment because it was about to rain and what looked like a storm would hover over them.
He had planned it well in advance, Shuichi was in NG and probably would not appear until dawn because he knew it was when they would record their songs, if Shuichi did not go to camps with the band as the vast majority of artists did, the only reason was Yuki. The singer preferred to go to see him very late before not seeing him, it did not matter if they were touring, it did not matter if it was the recording of a video, the composition of music with his friends and much less the exhausting recording of an album made him desist from being Far from him.
Mian Yue waited for him in a corner, dressed too normal to not be recognized and wore a huge bag. When he went up they did not say a single word, but he could see the paleness of his face, he supposed that it was like that because he did not have makeup but then discovered that because of the way he looked at the window. Not only were nerves but also fear.
-We still have a long trip. Try to relax, "he said as he watched her get into the car.
"It's easy for you to say, is not it?" She ironized.
Eiri was not good at confronting a woman like that, if the situation had been otherwise he would have insulted her. He counted up to ten to attract patience and thought of the right words. Never use the words "I know it's hard for you" that's like lighting a match in the middle of gunpowder.
-Do not. Is not easy. -She looked at him for a moment waiting for him to continue.- It's very dangerous.- He made a visual contact with her, letting her know that he was honest.- But that's why I'm here and you're not alone. I'll be with you, even after this, I'll take care of you. It does not help that right now you are a ball of nerves. -The blonde looked over the route but stretched his right hand to take hers on his lap, his attitude relaxed and tried to offer a conciliatory smile. -You are a woman with character that does not get easily scared and you have reasons to be in this moment, but we are together. Trust me.
Inwardly the writer thought that he had her where he wanted, she would do everything at that moment for him. He had been in the early morning when they arrived at the clinic and after the intervention had been unbearable complaining of pain that the nurse had said were normal and he himself could give testimonies of it. Since the two women before her had also complained too much and in the same way.
They returned to the hotel they had rented for that night, laid her down and cared for her until she fell asleep. He decided to call the singer so he would not worry ... but he was the one who found himself worried about not receiving answers. Why was not he still in the apartment? It was already four in the morning.
-Very well.- He said looking at the figure of that woman in bed. -It was good while it lasted.
With those words he ended the relationship with his lover Mian Yue. He had always been a great lover and admirer of the female figure, but it was also known that beauty did not last forever. It was replaceable, just that ... it was replaceable.
As he drove, dawn arrived, he thought he could consider it as the end of one stage and the beginning of another. He tried that the dream that invaded him did not dominate him, he was taking care of the woman all night between unbearable moans, so he had not rested at all ... but luckily he thought, she was no longer his problem.