He, who shines so brightly.

I shouldn't use strong words like love or hate, but sometimes I want to make an exception, just for him.

When he kisses me like that, so slow and careful... I don't know what to think, don't know what I'm supposed to be thinking. Maybe it's because of my age. I'm barely seventeen, what could I know, really? According to them, I'm still a growing boy.

But I think I could handle him just fine.

And I think he knows it, too.

And when he quietly entered the room and stared at me with those dark eyes, I didn't know what I was meant to do. All I could do was stare back at him. It was frustrating.

I was angry.

I rose from where I was sitting on the bed, strode over to where he was standing, close to the doorframe. He studied my face for a moment, running a careful hand through my hair. I pushed it away, impatient.

"Stop it."

The shadow of a smile played across his lips, a ghost of a laugh in his throat. "What's the matter, Taeminnie? Don't you love me anymore?"

I bit my lip, hard, because I didn't know how to answer him. Maybe he was joking when he said it, but I could see the split second of hurt in his eyes when I hesitated to reply. These sort of things weren't supposed to happen, and I knew it. No kissing, no hugging. He was my hyung, we were supposed to be friends. Just friends.

But friends who kissed and touched each other like lovers? Right.

Thinking this just made me more frustrated, so I clenched my hands into fists and looked away.

"All right, then."

I heard him beginning to leave the room, turning to walk the other way. My eyes snapped open and I grabbed his hand without thinking, pulled him toward me and kissed him hard, pressing him against the wall with all my strength.

I could feel his teeth crushed behind his lips, my own teeth cutting into my bottom lip. I drew away after a moment, taking in a shuddering breath.

Like a fool, I found myself hesitating again.

"Kibum-ah, what am I to you?" I asked finally, staring up into his eyes. He seemed almost confused. "Am I... Your toy?"

"What? Is that what this is abou--"

"Stop it, hyung, please. I don't understand. Just.. Just answer the question." I was losing my will quickly. Whatever it was that gave me the daring to grab him like that was ebbing away fast, the grip I had on his shirt becoming decidedly looser. He smiled in an uncharacteristically gentle way, touched my cheek and brushed his lips readily against mine.

"You're not a toy, Taeminnie." He murmured, stroking my hair again, his hands holding me against his chest. His smooth hands...

That swelling unsure feeling grew up inside my chest, and I felt strange again.

"Magnae..." His voice no louder than a murmur. "What would you do if I told you I loved you?"

I swallowed a mouthful of air, gulped it down like it was all I had.

"I-I'd say you were a big liar." My voice was shaky, unconvincing. He chuckled quietly, and that frustrated me again. I let out an irritated breath, frowning again.

"If you love me, though, do something for me?" It wasn't really a request, I guess.

"Yeah?"

I hesitated again, took a sloppy breath, pushed out of his arms.

"I don't love you." Hands on his stomach, I frowned at his collarbone. "I think."

"You think?"

"Yeah. Help me figure it out, hyung." I scowled up at him. I must have looked ridiculous, because he smiled again and kissed me soundly, like he always did.