Michael Jackson Comes to Quahog
Tom Tucker: Attention, citizens of Quahog! Michael
Jackson has just escaped from jail and has come to Quahog! He is
known to be very dangerous, so keep your children inside at all
times!
Peter (switching off the TV): Oh my god! This is worse than
the time I tried playing Yu-Gi-Oh!
(Peter and Quagmire are playing Duel Monsters. Peter is dressed as Yugi and Quagmire is dressed as Kaiba)
Quagmire: You'll never defeat me, Peter!
Peter: Yes, I will! I summon… the raccoon! (raccoon appears, turns around, and jumps on Peter's face)
Peter: AHHHHHH! Oh my God, oh my God!
(Brian walks into room)
Peter: Brian, Michael Jackson's loose in Quahog! And with Lois visiting her parents, how are the children going to be safe? God knows I can't protect them!
Brian: Peter, why don't you use that Robocop you got a few years back?
Peter: Oh no, not after last time!
(Peter is talking to Robocop)
Peter: Alright, all you have to do is protect us from anything dangerous!
(Quagmire walks in)
Robocop: Attack! Attack! (starts firing guns)
(Quagmire runs away)
Quagmire: Oh God, oh God!
Peter: Well, as long as I've got to protect this family, I might as well get some food.
(Cut to Peter at the supermarket. Brian is with him. He bumps into a mysterious man with a bandanna over his face.
Peter: Hey, sorry about that. Wait a minute, I've never seen you around before.
MM: I'm new, but I don't have a place to stay.
Peter: Well, I guess you can stay with us then!
Brian: Peter, are you sure it's smart to let strangers into your house with Michael Jackson on the loose?
Peter: Of course it is! So, here's our address, and I'll see you later.
MM: Before you go, do you have any children in your house?
Peter: Well, yeah, I have two boys and a girl.
MM: Excellent…
Peter: Come again?
MM: Nothing! See you later!
(back at the house, Peter is showing the man around and introducing him to the kids)
Peter: Okay, Mr…
MM: Jefferson. Yes, that's it, Jefferson!
Peter: Mr. Jefferson, this is Stewie, Chris, and Meg.
MM: Excuse me, I thought you said you only had two boys.
Meg: I'm a girl, you idiot. A GIRL!
MM: Oh, right.
Peter: Well, time for bed.
MM: Do I get to sleep with you?
Peter: Ummm… no, we have a guest bed.
MM: Oh… Okay.
(Peter is tucking Stewie in)
Peter: Good night, Stewie.
(Peter leaves. Stewie is about to go to bed when he sees something popping up from his window. Michael Jackson has the bandanna off.)
Stewie: What the deuce?
MJ: I like babies!
Stewie: Burn in hell, Jackson!
(Stewie takes out a gun and starts shooting at him. Michael Jackson pops down and runs away.)
Stewie: Hmm, it seems that Jackson has come to our house. Looks like I'll have to take necessary precautions…(Stewie presses a button, and turrets pop out.)
(Cut to Chris' room. Chris spots two eyes in his closet.)
MJ: Chris, come here.
Chris: Sorry, my dad told me never to talk to strangers.
(Peter's devil and angel appear on Chris' shoulders)
Devil P: Who cares? Do what you want.
Angel P: Yeah, really.
(They vanish)
Chris: Besides, there's an evil monkey living in there,
(Two more eyes pop up in the closet, and Jackson is heard being mauled. His eyes then vanish.)
(The next day…)
(Peter is about to go to the bathroom when he sees a bandanna and a nose sitting on the table. He then looks into the bathroom to see Michael Jackson shaving.)
Peter: Brian, Mr. Jefferson is actually Michael Jackson!
Brian: No sh, you bd. I've already called the police.
(Michael Jackson walks out with his bandanna and nose on.)
Peter: Get out of my house, you pervert!
(Michael Jackson runs into Stewie's room and locks the door.)
MJ: Hee hee hee, your son is mine, jack!
Peter: Oh no, Stewie!
(In Stewie's room.)
Stewie: Well, well, well, look who dropped by for a visit!
MJ: Where are you?
Stewie: Behind you!
(Michael Jackson turns around to see 50 guns in his face. He jumps out the window and Peter opens the door and sees the guns.)
Peter: I don't even wanna know.
(Michael Jackson walks into Old Man's house.)
Old Man: Jackpot!
The End…
OF PART 1! MWAHAHAHAHA!