Hey everybody!
I probably shouldn't be putting this up yet, because I don't have a lot of it written down, and I'm worried I'll get so wrapped up in my real life that I'll forget about it, and won't update for a year, like another story of mine…
But, I'm hoping that that support from readers (mainly in the form of reviews) will give me the motivation I need to ignore my SAT prep book and college apps and write fanfics.
I would, however, like to thank my beta reader, enchantedsleeper. She rocks my socks, hard core.
I would also like to let all of you know, for those who may have doubts, that I do not own Rurouni Kenshin. Not even a little bit.
Anyway, on to the story!
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She lay, quietly looking out the window. The rain had turned the sky grey, a soft, meaningless color that made her feel even more depressed. The dark buildings melted into the rain, making it hard to distinguish shapes. It was too early for city lights, the ones that advertised cheap booze and pretty women, but it was early enough that the sun could still be seen, as a sort of white circle in a world of unending bleakness. It was that time of day that it seemed that there might still be enough time for something, but if anything was attempted, it was half hearted because of the realization that it was too late to do anything worthwhile.
The colors of the world, as they began to appear to her, were muted and gentle, drowning in the grey. On the porch of her apartment, she could just see the plant she had tried to grow, twisted and black. Raindrops clung to the railing, trying desperately to hold on before falling three stories to the cold cement.
She was the plant; she was the raindrops. She was desperately trying to cling to something, grasping for something, anything to hold on to, but she was already falling. Her insides were already black and withered. Her soul cried out for help, but was silent with resignation at the same time.
She stopped looking out the window, focusing instead on her hand resting on her pillow. It was cold and pale, but every so often, a finger would twitch involuntarily, then return to its limp position. Her deep blue eyes, unmoving and blank, saw everything, but she didn't have the energy to process it.
She could feel her sadness enveloping her, a cold that would not go away, no matter how tightly she wrapped herself in her blankets. She closed her eyes, refusing to let one more drop of water fall onto her already tear-stained pillow. How could she feel so empty?
"Kaoru?" There came a knock at the door, and she squeezed her eyes tighter, hoping if she just ignored it, it would go away. "Kaoru Kamiya, you open this door right now!"
No, she thought. No, I don't think I will.
"Kaoru, I know you're upset, but you need to get out and do something. It will make you feel better, I promise. Now open the door!"
She sighed and pulled herself out of bed and left the safety of her bedroom. She walked to the door, her blanket still wrapped tightly around her shoulders, and looked through the peephole.
She really didn't need to, but she hoped for a moment she had imagined Misao's voice in the hall. However, she saw her friend standing outside the door, arms crossed, scowling at the peephole.
"You know we're going tonight Kaoru," Her cousin said, tapping her foot. "And I know you're standing there, so just open the damn door already!"
Kaoru complied, removing the chain and turning the handle painstakingly slowly before Misao burst inside.
"God, Kaoru, you're a wreck! And look at this place!" Kaoru looked around her small apartment. It had a kitchen, a living room/dining room, and her bedroom in the back with a bathroom attached.
"What about it?" She croaked.
Misao goggled at her. "Look at it! When's the last time you cleaned?"
Kaoru took another look around. True, there were dirty dishes in the sink, used pots on the stove, and the trash was overflowing, but so what? Sure, she had left plates and glasses in the living room, but why did it matter that they were growing things? And ok, there were dirty clothes all over her bedroom, and she hadn't made her bed in several weeks, but was it really that big a deal?
"I just haven't had the energy-"
"And look at you! You're not even dressed yet! Kaoru, we need to leave in ten minutes! Go take a shower and put on some make up! I'll see if I can find you some clean clothes."
"Misao, I really don't want-"
"Kaoru, we're going. End of story."
"But-"
"Kaoru, shower. Now."
He sat quietly on the hospital bed, staring at the blank white walls. He was an interesting man; he was fairly young, probably in his mid-to late-twenties, with dark red hair and a cross-shaped scar on his left cheek. He wore jeans and a faded red sweatshirt, and beside him sat a black duffle bag, the strap of which he would occasionally fumble with. He appeared to be waiting for something.
The room was spartan, two beds with white hospital sheets and uncomfortable pillows. The door could be locked from the outside, but not the inside, and there was a large glass window, not allowing for much privacy. The doors were normally left open, unless there was a problem with the patient inside.
Other patients meandered about in the commons: some played board games, others watched TV, but most had a heavily medicated look, and all had a dullness and hollowness to their. The man in the room, however, while somewhat subdued, had a twinkle in his eyes and a smile could be seen, ever so briefly, playing on his lips.
There was a knock on the door, and the young man turned around. "Mr. Himura? Mr. Sagara is here. Are you ready to go?" The young doctor stood in the doorway with her clipboard. She looked hopeful, happy almost. Behind her stood a very tall man with spiky hair and a red bandana tied around his head.
"Hey Kenshin. The meter's running, so we need to get outta here." He smiled and Kenshin stood. "You ready?"
"Yeah, I'm ready," he grabbed the duffle and gave the room one last scan for anything he may have missed.
"Let's go then! Hey, you sure you don't wanna go out tonight Megumi?"
"Yes, I'm sure. I've already told you, Sanosuke, I'm going out with some friends tonight. Besides, I don't think Mr. Himura should be left alone on his first night out of the hospital," She took a deep breath. "And I've asked you to please call me Dr. Takani."
"Yeah, and I've asked you to call me Sano," he grinned. "Well, you got my number if you change your mind."
As Sano and Kenshin made their way out of the mental ward, Sano said, "So I thought we'd do something fun tonight to celebrate. Whadaya say?"
"I suppose so," Kenshin said softly.
"Great. How's the fair sound? There's one all this weekend just outside of town, and I figure we could go tonight, if you're feeling up to it."
"That sounds fine to me,"
"Great. Well, I know that foxy doctor of yours won't want you to have too much stimulation, so I figure we can keep this between you and me."
Kenshin nodded as he and Sano walked to the front desk of the hospital to sign out.
The decrepit rides with screaming teenagers. The bright colored lights. Children whose faces were smeared with paint and pink cotton candy. The smell of food deep-fried in fat. Girls who paraded about with a boyfriend around their shoulders and a teddy bear in their arms. She saw it all with glazed eyes. It was as if there was a wall between her mind and the rest of the world, a wall that reality could be seen through, but never touched, never experienced.
"So what do you want to do first? If we eat, we can't go on the rides for a while, because I don't want you guys up-chucking all over me," she blinked, and everything seemed to register again. Megumi and Misao. The fair. She blinked again.
"Umm… why don't we go on the rides then?" Kaoru suggested softly.
"OK, sounds good!" Misao rushed forward to pick out the ride that seemed most likely to kill them, while Megumi huffed.
"Misao, I thought you said we were taking Kaoru for a nice night out to help her unwind," the young doctor said crossly.
"What's your point?" Misao headed towards a ride with flashing lights that labeled it 'The Jack-Knife'. "Oh, let's go on that one!" She cried.
"Well, this isn't particularly nice or relaxing."
"No one said anything about relaxing," Misao replied absentmindedly.
"Don't worry about me Megumi," Kaoru said, knowing she didn't sound at all convincing.
"OK, so it's four tickets a ride, and we have twenty. God, I hate how expensive these things are! That means we have eight left, and you can't buy food with tickets - hey, that reminds me - someone has extra cash for food, right?"
"Misao, stop prattling on and hand the nice man the tickets," Megumi said condescendingly.
The three women were strapped in and in the air faster than Kaoru would have liked. As they began to spin and twirl, she pressed her palms into her eyes to block out the world spinning sickeningly by. Misao made squeals of fear and excitement and Megumi groaned beside her. The ride ended none to soon for the poor doctor, who was looking rather green by the time they returned to solid ground.
Misao seemed not to notice and ran off to find the next method of air born torture.
Kenshin walked around the fair, feeling very miffed. Sano, being a man's man, would be damned if he didn't attempt every show of strength, aim, or a combination of the two that the fair offered. As a result, he was winning several stuffed animals, because the games offered nothing else as prizes. As a result, Kenshin was carrying them around, and, as a result, was mistaken as Sano's girlfriend, which was not such a glorifying experience.
"Sano, I think I'm gonna go on a ride now, ok?" Kenshin said, shifting various stuffed animals so he could see his friend.
Sano simply grunted in reply, and Kenshin headed towards the rides, when he saw a young girl, perhaps four or five, sniffling because she hadn't won a prize at her obviously rigged game. "Here," he said softly, holding out the largest of the stuffed creatures he carried. "I don't need this, that I don't. Go ahead and take it." He smiled as the girl looked up at him with big brown eyes, thumb in her mouth. She grabbed it and grinned, then rushed off to show her mother, disappearing through the crowd.
The rest he deposited randomly; a pink hippo on a trash can lid, a red puppy dog on the railing of a ride, and a giant yellow banana with a doped-up smile by the port-a-potties. He knew Sano wouldn't care; he didn't need stuffed animals.
He went on a few rides, then decided on the Ferris wheel, where the ticket taker shoved him into a basket with a young woman he didn't know, who eyed him suspiciously before commenting on the view of the city from way up here, and look, you can even see a few stars. She seemed very glassy eyed, Kenshin thought, though he found her very beautiful, with her ink painting hair and pale skin glowing in the flashing lights. He wanted to ask her name, but after the look she gave him when she noticed him staring, he felt like he shouldn't.
While, admittedly, a few stars could be seen, it wasn't anything special, and he was beginning to feel rather tired. When they returned to the ground, he thanked the girl for an enjoyable time. She gave him a rather strange look and walked off.
Kenshin yawned and went off to find Sano, who he discovered with a man he did not know.
"Hey, Kenshin, this is my friend Katsu." Katsu nodded toward Kenshin. He runs a political newspaper, and I would tell you more about it, but you look like you're about to pass out, man."
Kenshin nodded. "Hello Katsu. It's nice to meet you." He turned to Sano. "Is there any way we could head back to your place? It's been a long day."
Sano seemed to think for a moment, then replied. "How about you take my car back, and I'll be there later? I haven't seen Katsu in forever, and I wanted to hang with him for a bit."
"Um, Sano? I'm not really supposed to be driving…" Kenshin said softly.
"They only told you that so you can't sue them. It'll be fine. I'll be back in a few hours, ok?" He handed his friend the keys.
Kenshin mumbled something about Sano being irresponsible, but Sano just grinned and waved.
After Kaoru got off the Ferris wheel, she went to find Misao and Megumi by the chair swings, where they all had agreed they'd meet. When the two women finally showed up, Kaoru had made up her mind. She was going home.
"But Kaoru!" Misao pleaded, I won't have a ride home if you leave! And it's so fun here! We haven't even had our deep fried fat yet! Or won any stuffed animals…" At a look from Kaoru, she shut up.
"Thanks a lot guys. I know you were just trying to help, and that means a lot to me, but I really just want to go home. Besides Misao, Megumi has a car, and her place isn't too far from our building, but if you want to come with me, I'm leaving now." Misao wrinkled her nose.
Megumi put her hands on her hips. "Kaoru, you need to get out of that apartment once in a while and have some fun. I know you're hurting, and that's understandable, but you need to let this go."
Kaoru rolled her eyes, refusing to let Megumi finish as she preached this far too often for Kaoru's liking. "Megumi, I'm fine. I really just want to go home now." She gave the two women a curt smile. "Good night."
She walked through the crowds of people, feeling her shoes stick to the grimy ground. When she reached her old (mostly) powder blue Stanza, she groaned. Someone, she supposed while backing out, had knocked off her driver's side mirror and left a large dent in her door. "FUCK!" She yelled, pulling at her hair. She ignored the looks from nearby people. Angrily, she grabbed the receipt that had been stuck under her windshield wiper and looked at the number printed neatly on the back. Just a number. No name.
"Yeah, well screw you too, 536-7446!" She glowered as she threw the door open and set her ipod to angry people music. Can my life get any more fan-fucking-tastic?
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Sooo… Just incase you happened to like this, I thought is let you know: 1) I update every Tuesday. If I don't, it's because I'm swamped with real life, and I tend to update the next day. 2) Most of my chapters will not be this long. I was apparently on crack when I wrote this, because it's super long. Normally, I have such a short attention span that I end up keeping things short. Ok, cool.
Please, leave me a review! It will help motivate me, and as a senior in high school, I need all the motivation I can get!
Koh