A Midsummer Day's Tag

Hooves clomping over the whitewashed planks, Doren sprinted along the boardwalk after Rondus, a portly satyr with butterscotch fur and horns that curved away from each other. Puffing hard, Rondus cut through a gazebo and started down the stairs to the grassy field beyond. Only a few steps behind, Doren went airborne and slammed into the hevyset satyr. Together they pitched violently forward into the grass, staining their bare skin green.

"You're not getting her!" Doren shouted, glaring at a cute hamadryad a few feet away.

"She's not my target," Rondus groaned, rising.

Doren recovered and, wearing a lustful grin, swiftly started after a petite hamadryad with short, feathery hair. A thin, leafy loincloth was all she wore in terms of modesty. Like most nymphs the hamadryad wore next to nothing, her naughty bits exposed to peepers. Behind Doren, Rondus lunged at a smaller satyr with holstein fur and wrapped his arms around the goat boy's legs in a savage embrace. The small satyr toppled with a yelp, an awkward frown on his face as Rondus squeezed warmly.

Doren rounded on the fat satyr. "Rondus you fatass! You're supposed to tackle nymphs not your own kind!"

Grinning horn to horn, Rondus ran his hands through the coarse fur of the smaller satyr's thighs. "That isn't a rule! Besides, what can I say, Doren? I swing the other way," he said dreamily. "Your brother is the same way, only he gets horny for humans."

Doren nodded sheepishly. "Runs in the family. Him and Seth are an item now."

"Aren't relationships with humans a taboo?"

Beneath Rondus the small satyr—Verl—bucked against him. "Will you let go! Uh!"

Rondus ignored his captive. "Plus the age difference is shocking."

Doren whipped out a pair of opaque, horn-rimmed glasses from behind his back. Donning the nerdy spectacles, he adopted an Einstein-like tone. "While Newel and I are biologically centuries older, physically we're like teens compared to much older satyrs," he explained. "It's elementary my dear Rondus."

Verl kicked and screamed as Rondus tightened his hold. "That makes no sense," the lattered replied, "and where did you get those glasses?"

"Nothing in this fanfiction makes sense." Doren shrugged. "But what can you do but roll with the punches?"

Rondus appeared confused. "Are you feeling alright, Doren? Fanfic—Wait! What did you say?"

Doren's sudden laughter cut the fat satyr short. He removed his glasses. "Like I said nothing makes sense."

"Okay . . . Anyways it's too bad Newel got himself transformed into a monster. Hopefully his brave shadow charmer comes to the rescue," Rondus said.

"For the sake of all Fablehaven I hope so," Doren whispered to himself. His gaze lingered on the hedges bordering the field before sweeping to a lone gazebo where a cute, teenage girl sat. Sighing, he rejoined his teammates, eager to get back in the game.

Sitting apart from the hijinks of the mythical beings, Kendra Sorenson lounged on a wicker chair beneath a white gazebo. She watched the game of tackle tag, amused. Each new individual tackled became a tackler until the last participant was brought down. The last person tackled became the first tackler of the next round. On the field the same agile hamadryad twirled away from Doren several times. The determined satyr stayed doggedly after her until he finally got a hand on her waist, scooped her into his arms, and set the nymph on the grass.

The hamadryad—Maple—giggled. "You got your hands on me good, Doren!"

"Because you let me," Doren said.

"Maybe." Maple looked at the gazebos. She smiled. "Hey! Why not ask Kendra to play? We could always use another girl on our side."

Doren followed her gaze, reddening. "I don't think Kendra is the type of girl who likes it . . . rough."

Maple giggled again. "You always had a thing for Kendra, huh Doren? Don't deny it! It's written all over your face."

"Well . . ." he trailed.

"You're worried about her too." A devious glint flashed across Maple's blue eyes. "You know, I was talking to Lena by the pond one day and she told me some interesting things about Kendra. Apparently that girl can really relax, cut loose, if given the right motivation."

"What's on your mind Maple?" Doren asked, curious.

"Just ask Kendra to play with us." Maple rose, dusting herself off. "Trust me. It'll help you and help Kendra get her mind off the plague."

"Maple!"

The hamadryad winked. "Just follow those goat instincts!"

Around Doren and Maple satyrs tackled each other as if causing injuries were the point of the game, but they treated the hamadryads more gently. The hamadryads quietly returned the favor by allowing themselves to be caught, loving every second of their brief capture. To Kendra, the real meaning behind the dance of the satyrs and nymphs was plainly obvious. Having seen the hamadryads in action earlier that day fighting the monstrous hordes overunning Fablehaven, Kendra knew that the satyrs would never have been able to lay a hand on the dainty nymphs without a handicap.

Kendra mostly enjoyed watching the hamadryads take down the satyrs. The nymphs never dove at them or wrapped them up. They knocked satyrs to the turf with perfectly timed shoves and nudges, or else by tripping them. What the satyrs made look hard, the hamadryads made look effortless. Despite the heated passion between the combatants, the frenetic game distracted Kendra from her worries. It gave her hope, hope her friends and family had reached the cursed manor safely and would return together.

Kendra shuddered, knowing if Seth saved Fablehaven from the Shadow Plague he would also be saving Newel. Her brother always had bad taste—she long suspected Tanu and Coulter had rubbed Seth the wrong way. Would Grandpa Sorenson even allow such a relationship? After all, the old geezer was such a stick-in-the-mud.

Hearing her name, Kendra broke away from her thoughts.

Across the field Doren waved the human girl over. "Come on, Kendra! Want to join us for the next round?"

"Sorry. I'm not big on tackling," Kendra hollered back. "I prefer watching."

Doren jogged over, his hooves kicking up clumps of sodden earth. Upon reaching the gazebo he gave the grandest of smiles. Kendra could see sweat dripping down his hairy, but toned chest. She hid a blush.

"It isn't as rought as it looks," Doren said. "At least it wouldn't be for you."

Kendra squirmed in her chair. "Well . . ."

"We'll go easy on you," said Doren, winking. "I promise."

She looked up shyly. "Promise?"

"I swear in the name of Queen Titania herself."

Kendra quirked her brow. "Who's that?"

"You may know her better as the generic Fairy Queen. Do you ever read mythology?" Doren waved the pointless question off. "Whatever. Do you want to play or not?"

Gathering behind Doren, the crowd of satyrs and nymphs called out Kendra's name, egging the girl on. Sighing, Kendra jumped out of her chair.

"I guess there's nothing better to do surrounded by a plague. Just don't ask the centaurs to play," she said. "I don't want to get trampled."

"We'd never ask those assholes to play."

"They're too busy being arrogant."

"Got that right." Doren clapped his hands. "Awesome! And don't worry, we'll play nice."

When Doren and Kendra reached the others the new game was already underway. Doren raced toward his fellow satyrs while Kendra joined the hammadryads. She met Maple halfway, the short-haired nymph waving her over kindly. Standing fully clothed next to Maple, surrounded by colorful, promiscuous hamas, Kendra felt completely out of place. She forced herself to relax, recalling the evening she went skinny-dipping with Lena in the naiad pond long before the plague struck Fablehaven. Surrounded by naked nymphs and brawny satyrs should make her feel no different than before!

"Hey Kendra!" Maple greeted with a high-five. "Long time no see. Glad you could join us."

"Hey, Maple," said Kendra, slapping back. She did her best to overlook the abject nudity surrounding her.

"Ready to show those farm animals who's boss?"

Kendra sized up Doren and his satyr brothers across the field. Overlooking their goat parts, her eyes lingered on the curvature of their pronounced abs and the girth of their biceps. Why had she failed to notice before? Shaking her head, Kendra quickly snapped back to reality,

"Let's get this over with," she muttered.

"Are you going to strip? It makes running and tagging a whole lot easier, Kendra," Maple said. The hammadryad emphasized her perky chest.

"No. Why would you ask that?" said Kendra, uncomfortably blushing.

"Here they come," another hamadryad warned. "Game on, girls!"

With a battle cry the satyrs charged with Doren spearheading the rowdy flock. Black hooves kicking up clumps of sodden earth and grass, the satyrs destroyed the manicured field Dale Burgess had struggled to maintain in seconds. The hamadryads met the charge, only frolicking out of reach once the flock came within reach of their position. Surrounded by the chaotic game of tag, Kendra stood her ground. Being fairykind would prove unnecessary in the game—her powers were completely useless altogether. Surrounded by satyrs, Kendra instead dodged left and right, doing her best to avoid the groping hands of the goat men. She followed Maple's moves, spinning out of reach and countering with slight shoves, which knocked several satyrs on their butts.

Nearby Maple swung her hip, tripping a black-furred satyr into a tree.

Kendra soon found herself confronted by Verl, who had escaped Rondus minutes ago. Arms spread, the spotted satyr charged like an enraged troll. Copying what she had seen Maple and several other hamas do, Kendra twirled aside. Swinging her hip out, she slammed her backside into Verl, knocking the wind out of the satyr. As Verl fell face first, the satyr was immediately beset upon by Rondus who charged past Kendra from out of the blue.

Crushed beneath Rondus's bulk, Verl screamed fearfully.

"Can't escape me this time little guy," Rondus purred in Verl's pointed ear.

"You're not supposed to tackle your own teammate!" Kendra accused, turning to the fat satyr.

"By the grace of the Fairy Queen help me, Kendra! Please! It's you I love! Not this fatass!" Verl pleaded, his wail for help going unheard.

Rondus tickled Verl's chest as he grinned smoothly at the human girl. "Like I told Doren already, friendly fire isn't a rule. Everyone is fair game." He reached down, causing Verl to panic. "Speaking of which, Kendra, you should really watch your back."

"What the f—" the girl gasped.

Before Kendra knew what was happening a pair of hands clamped onto the hem of her shirt. A second pair grabbed the top of the girl's jeans. One pair Kendra realized belonged to Maple who blew seductively into Kendra's ear whereas the other belonged to another hamadryad with long, leafy hair.

"Kendra. You should've stripped when you had the chance," Maple whispered wickedly. "Here goes nothing!"

With tugs that belied both magic and physics the hamas yanked Kendra's clothes and shoes off her body, leaving the girl exposed to the elements. Wearing only a pair of plaid panties, bare as a newborn baby, Kendra shivered in the cool morning air. She cried in embaressment and threw both arms over her chest.

Behind Kendra, the hamas giggled insanely. "Now you're just like us," the long-haired nymph chuckled.

"What are you doing, Maple!" Kendra cried.

The short-haired hama stifled her giggling, tossing Kendra's shirt away. "While it would be fun if I played with you, I sadly promised you to someone else."

Staring aghast, the human girl was at a loss for words.

Maple hugged Kendra close, skin to skin. "Don't worry. He honeslty likes you, honey. She's all yours Doren!"

Slow to react, Kendra heard the pounding of heavy hoof beats when a third pair of hands, strong hands, swept her off the ground. She yelped as the strong hands gave way to strong arms that cradled her snuggly. Doren hugged the human girl to his chest, feeling the warmth of her soft, slender frame conform against his chiseled, goaty muscles. Kendra, finally tagged, felt redness creep up the back of her neck and flood her face. A yearning deep within clawed its way to the surface, a yearning Kendra found was impossible to stifle.

Kendra planted her hands on Doren's firm and hairy chest. "I-I dropped my guard and I g-guess you got me fair and square," she uttered. "Good job, Doren."

Blushing, Doren nodded. "Sorry for this. Considering what's happening to the preserve I thought you might want to have a good time, Kendra. You know, get your mind off the plague."

"No, don't apologize. It's actually really sweet, Doren," said Kendra mildly, running a hand through brown, curly locks. She scratched Doren's left horn. "But now that I'm tagged it's game over."

Doren leaned in close to Kendra's face and winked. His breath smelled of goat feed. "It doesn't have to be."

Closing the gap, Kendra held her lips to the satyr's own, driving him crazy. "Want to go back to the gazebo now?"

Hefting up the young girl, Doren ran his eyes down the length of her body, noticing her underwear dampening."You bet," he said. "I'm feeling rather horny—pun intended."

"Are you any good?" Kendra asked.

Doren winked again. "Sitcoms and game shows aren't the only programs me and Newel watch on that portable TV of ours."

As the new lovers retreated to the gazebo, Rondus forced Verl into position. Ignored by everyone, crying out for Kendra Sorenson, Verl surrendered in disgrace. Once the minutes ticked past, the spotted satyr gave into the heat of obese passion whilst wishing that the Shadow Plague had taken him instead.

Hugo loped through the gap in the hedge, barreling down the evil creatures that swarmed the grounds outside the pond. Once back in the safety of the gazebo pond Hugo slowed to a stop. Seth, astride the motionless golem, hopped down. He found Maple alone standing under a tree and staring at a gazebo on the edge of the naiad pond.

"Hey, Maple . . . What are you looking at?" Seth asked.

The hamadryad kept staring at the gazebo with pride. "Oh, just enjoying the fruits of my labor."

"Okay . . . Have you seen Kendra? I need to tell her what went down at the manor—"

A series of pleasured screams split the air, screams so shrill that Seth cringed in agony.

"What in the name of the Sphinx was that! It sounded like the Doritos goat!"

More screams of pleasure erupted.

Maple walked off, pointing toward the gazebo. "Why not find out yourself? But I would cover my eyes first, little boy."

Clueless, Seth set off to the edge of the pond with Hugo loping along behind. Reaching the gazebo, Seth discovered Doren perched on the edge of a wicker chair. The satyr was positioned snuggly in front of his sister, her legs spread eagle for all the world to see. Kendra, lost in a universe of ecstasy, lay on her back unaware that her brother had returned. Flabbergasted, Seth could only gape, rooted to one spot in utter shock. Hugo reached around and covered the boy's eyes.

"Doren! What the hell are you doing to my sister?" Seth cried.

Facing his friend, Doren grinned sheepishly and donned his nerdy spectacles yet again.

"Biologically speaking, I can't get your sister pregnant, so don't worry," explained Doren, speaking yet again like Einstein."Just promise you won't tell Stan, okay?"

Seth stomped his feet in disgust. "Einstein wasn't a biologist you wall breaking idiot!"