Innocence
I watch her as she lectures, teaches and demonstrates. Her supple, gentle hands caressing her wand as she turns the table into a falcon. The gentle hands slide from the wand as she stows it in her robes, turning to the class. Sternly, she tells us to begin our work and that we have thirty minutes to make a difference to our desks.
I sit at mine, not completing the task, too enthralled at watching her help another classmate. Jealousy runs through me like red hot lava, encasing my body and burning my blood. I glare at the classmate she is bent over, and my glare is almost so strong that I burn a hole in the back of his head.
I think she realises that I'm glaring in her direction as she turns her head sharply in mine, and looks surprised to see my expression and me not participating in the class. She looks at me for a few seconds then turns back to the student, explaining something quickly before walking in my direction.
"Mr. Lupin?" she asks when she reaches me. She looks concerned, and I know why. I am the one person she can count on to always be able to finish whatever task she puts for the class, as I read and learn in advance. I look up at her, taking in the way her green eyes are clouded with emotion, no longer the clear pools they are when she teaches.
Noticing her expression change from one of gentle concern to one of worry, I quickly repeat the movement that she demonstrated earlier and my desk turns to a falcon. I wave my wand once more, and it becomes a desk once more. She looks shocked; it appears that she didn't think I'd paid attention earlier. I want to tell her that she can do nothing without having my attention, I want to tell her what I feel, but most of all, I want to tell her that I love her.
But I don't, because I know that if I do, she'll hate me. She'll despise the fact that a student has fallen in love with her, and she'll blame herself that it happened. I can't let her do that to herself, I can't let her blame and punish herself for something that is my fault and not hers. So I don't tell her, instead I make a vow that at the end of the year, I will let her know she holds my heart.
As the last day of term approaches, I know the time has come to tell her of my love. Yet, I'm scared, so absolutely terrified that I shake as I write the few words on parchment. Those few words, the one simple statement, that could destroy me, my life and my love's. It really isn't any wonder that I'm trembling.
As we board the carriages to the station, I look continually behind me, hoping to catch sight of her. She is the only one I am interested in saying goodbye to, she is the only one who I wish never to say goodbye to. As I arrive at the station, I see her, watching each of the students board the train with a look of sorrow on her face.
She looks depressed, like a part of her soul has gone missing, and I want nothing more than to return it to her, yet I know I can't. As I make my way over to her, I see her eyes dart around the platform searchingly. When her gaze focuses on me, her eyes don't leave mine as I make my journey to her.
When I reach her, I can think of nothing to say. I don't want to say goodbye, yet I know I have to. She looks equally reluctant, and as I look into the swirling pools of green, I see her eyes shine with unshed tears. I feel my throat beginning to close, and without thinking I throw myself, without decorum, into her arms.
They enfold me, her cloak protecting me from the outside world, as I hold tightly onto her. I don't move, I don't dare breathe, for one movement might break this fragile embrace. We stay, holding each other, neither willing to let go, for a few minutes. When we pull back simultaneously, I slip the parchment into one of the pockets of her cloak.
I look up at her, eyes shining with unshed tears, and quickly, I lean forward and place a gentle kiss on her cheek. Before she can do anything more, I race from the spot to the compartment on the train, taking my normal seat, beside the window. I watch her, as she puts her hands inside the pockets of her robes to keep them from shaking.
A confused expression covers her face when she pulls out my parchment. Curiously, she opens it and as she reads the small text, a lone tear falls down her aged cheek. My heart clenches as I watch the tear, I never meant to cause her any pain. I watch as she looks up at the train, and finds my face. A bright yet saddened smile spreads over her cheeks, as she mouths three words, I long to hear.
I smile at her in return, before she nods and leaves the platform. 'I love you,' I think as the train pulls out, 'I will always love you.'
As Albus announces the staff for this year, I listen in partial horror and partial elation as he names my love. I've never stopped loving him, although I haven't seen him since his last day at Hogwarts almost seventeen years ago. Albus never knew of my love for him, so he sees no problem other than Severus's extreme dislike of the man.
As I knew he would, Severus raised numerous objections to the new list of Professors. Albus retorted in fashion, having used his authority to force Severus to make Wolfsbane Potion and not let slip my love's secret.
"Any objections?" Albus questions, though it is clear from his tone there should be none. I watch without thinking as he dismisses each of the staff, talking genially to each member as they depart. Realising I am the only one still here, and still seated, I quickly make my way over to the door, hoping that Albus will not notice my departure.
"Minerva, you were very quiet during the meeting. Is there something wrong?" I want to explain everything, I want him to know what a position he has put me in, yet I can't. I can't because I know that without this job and the money, my love with suffer.
Gently, I shake my head and leave, offering no further explanation to my behaviour. As the start of term comes closer, I become more nervous. I'm barely eating and sleeping, watching almost every minute of the day for my love to come through the doors of the castle. I know that it is futile, and that my love is coming on the train, yet I cannot help myself.
As the first of September arrives, I eagerly await the arrival of the new Professor. Knowing that he must be greeted before he enters the Great Hall and before the other students arrive, I make my way to the Front Doors quickly.
When I see him walking up the path, my breath catches in my throat. He is more handsome than he was when he left, though he does have more scars and more greying hair. I watch him walk, his stride a little more defeated and sorrowful than before, his head still held high, his eyes still searching the landscape.
When he catches me watching his journey, I see him blush, though he is a distance away. Oh, how I have longed to see you. He walks faster, his briefcase banging his leg as his strides become longer still. When he reaches the bottom of the steps, he pauses and looks up at me.
I look at him, not noticing the tears that fall from my eyes. Slowly, he walks up the stairs and closer to me, and when I can bear it no longer, he enfolds me gently in his arms. I fall into the tender embrace, feeling safe, warm and secure while in his arms. As he pulls away lovingly, I capture his lips.
Hungrily we kiss, feeling the pent emotion of the past seventeen years catch up with us. I know, now that we are together, nothing can pull us apart.
(Please let me know what you think. My best friend decided the pairing, and I tried my best to keep the characters in character, but I'm not sure how well I succeeded. Please review!)