Author's Note:
FFNet doesn't want to give me line breaks for some reason. My apologies. :(
OT3 Neal/Peter/El
Spoilers: General ones for Elizabeth's birthday episode in Season 3 (4?).
(Sidenote: this assumes that Elizabeth's parents leave the same day they arrive. Which is just absurd. And cruel. Don't do this to your parents.)
xxx
"It was so good to see you again, sweetie. And you too, Peter! Let's do this again sometime soon!" Elizabeth's mother kissed her daughter on the forehead and gave her husband a quick hug. As far as the parents were concerned, the day had been perfect (until the dog chewed up and buried the birthday gift they brought, but it would be ok, they could always have another doll made).
"Oh, definitely. Reeeal soon." Peter shut the door, letting out the sigh of relief that had been ballooning in his chest for most of the afternoon. Now evening, and full on a homemade dinner (as well as plenty of beer, thank god), and cruising on approval from the in-laws, Peter finally had a moment alone with his beautiful, kind, funny, amazing, wife. Did he mention that she was smart as a whip, too?
Elizabeth had retreated to the kitchen to wash the dishes, but Peter grabbed her waist before she could reach the sink. He planted a trail of kisses on her neck.
"Mm… no, El, let Satchmo do it. You know how much he likes to "clean" the dishes." Peter chuckled.
"I do!" She laughed, bright and bubbly but unmistakably tired.
"I promise I'll was them in the morning, but for now, why don't we–"
A cough. Not alone. Peter's brow furrowed and he turned around.
"Mozzy. I forgot you were here." Peter crossed his arms.
"Evidently, Suit. I don't want to stick around to watch the mating ritual of a fed - who knows how much paperwork that entails."
"Mozzy-" Peter was not pleased, but was cut off before he could finish.
"I just think I deserve a thank-you. I did kind of save the day." Mozzy mimicked Peter, crossing his arms in defiance. Peter shot an incredulous look at El, who said nothing, the twinkle in her eyes speaking for her.
"…inflated sense of grandeur is right…" Peter grumbled.
"What was that?"
"Nothing… thank you, Mozzy." Peter really was thankful… he just didn't know how to show it.
"It was my pleasure. I finally got to talk to a mind almost my intellectual equal!" Peter pursed his lips at the comment.
"Right. Well, would you look at that, It's awfully late. Goodnight Mozzy." Peter ushered him to the door.
"Thanks for coming Mozz, I'm glad I got to celebrate with you!" Elizabeth called after him, blowing a kiss.
"Goodnight, Mrs. Suit!" Mozzy smiled and bowed slightly.
Peter closed the door and let out a second sigh of relief.
"Can I take this sweater off now?" He scratched at his back.
"You can. But you know, you wear it so much I thought you'd be used to it by now." El teased.
"Ha-ha." Peter walked over and kissed her.
"Honey, I had a wonderful birthday. Better than I could have asked for."
"Even with the creepy doll?"
She smiled.
"Even with the creepy doll. There's just one thing missing..." El leaned over to whisper in Peter's ear. Peter's face went white. Then red. He pulled away.
"No."
"Please, hun?"
"Absolutely not. That is the last thing I'm about to do."
"Pretty, pretty please?" El pressed herself against Peter's chest, hands wrapped around his back, all the while giving him her best puppy-dog eyes. The woman could work an angle, all right. Satchmo whined from table, shooting him a second set of puppy-dog eyes. Peter sighed but returned the hug.
"El... you know I can't say no to that look." He spoke in a mock-reprimanding tone.
"That's why I use it. I love you, babe."
"I love you too." Peter kissed the top of her head and held her in his arms, lost in their moment.
–-
"Neal?" Peter paced as he spoke over the phone.
"Yeah, Peter?"
"I need you over here. Now."
"The case is over, isn't it?" Neal sounded curious.
"It's for El's birthday."
"Hm... I recall I certain someone who didn't need my help?" Great. Sass was just what Peter needed at the moment.
"So... (El, do I really have to say this?) ... (ok, ok, fine) ... get your... ass... over here you..." Peter cleared his throat. "You bad... bad boy."
Neal's heart rate shot up so much he would be surprised if Peter couldn't hear the erratic thumping over the phone.
"I... ahem. I will?" Neal said questioningly. On the other side, Agent Burke was practically the color of a tomato.
"That was completely unprofessional."
El burst into a fit of laughter.
"What?!"
"Nothing - I just - pffft, I never thought you'd - snort - actually do it!" Her sides were splitting while he looked on in shock and annoyance.
"So you made me... say that to my CI... as a dare?! I can't believe you." Peter folded his arms.
"Oh no, honey," She wiped a tear from her eye and struggled to catch her breath. "I'm sure he loved it."
xxx
A doorbell later and Neal was in the Burke household. Although he'd been there many times over, somehow, there was a new tension in the air. Neal was about to find out just what kind of tension exactly.
"Elizabeth's upstairs. Getting ready." Peter said, looking mildly pissed off.
"It's 10pm... ready for what?"
"Sit down, Neal."
"Ok... is this some kind of intervention?" Neal settled into the couch, scratching Satchmo behind the ears.
"No. I'm - I'm not sure how to say this." Peter cupped his neck and looked away.
"Just say it, Peter. What's going on?" A small pit was carving itself into Neal's stomach. First a weird phone call, and now the run-around?
"There are only two ways this can end. This... this will either go very well, or it will ruin everything that we have." Peter sighed. "...I know it's your birthday, but goddammit, El..."
"Oh, stop being melodramatic, Peter. I've seen the looks!" El's disembodied voice called from somewhere upstairs.
"What she said." Neal echoed. "I mean, its you, Peter. It can't be that bad-"
"My wife has this crazy notion that you're into me. Us." Despite how much he didn't want to - Peter looked straight into Neal's eyes. Those sparkling baby blues. The "lady killers," he'd affectionately dubbed them (not that they only worked on ladies, that is). Neal tried to hide his shock behind a calm facade, but Peter could see right through him. Neal gulped... sifting through his vocabulary to find the right words.
"Well, of course I am. You know how much I care about you guys." Neal flashed one of his con smiles, the kind that never reached the eyes.
"Romantically." Peter said.
"Sexually!" El called down again. Peter closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"...Sexually." His tone was flat. When he opened his eyes, Neal was mere feet away from him. Peter nearly jumped at the sudden proximity.
"Was it - was it that obvious?" Neal's voice was quiet. The mask had come off, and he sounded... sincere. Vulnerable. Peter felt some kind of nurturing instinct kick in; he wanted to hold Caffrey and never let go.
Peter offered a shrug and what he hoped was a comforting smile. Yeah... he had noticed the occasional lingering glance, or attempted eye-fucking, and he'd even gotten better at telling when Neal was undressing him in his mind. But he certainly wasn't about to say that. Or that he never thought it could be more than just a (slightly) one-sided crush.
"So you're... asking me to...?" Neal's mouth felt dry. He would've pinched himself had he not gone still.
And then back to business.
"Listen, I'm willing to share Elizabeth tonight because it's what she wants. Consider it an… unorthodox birthday gift." Neal deflated at that. Don't get him wrong - the animal-like hunger in his eyes remained, but he didn't seem willing to pounce. Neal looked... hurt, almost.
"...She. So, you want nothing to do with this? You're just ...going along with your wife's fantasies? To satisfy her?" Neal's eyes narrowed. "...And I'm just a tool to make it a reality." His tone was nothing short of accusatory. And defensive. He looked away, digging his nails into his palm.
"Neal..." Peter's eyes softened and he stepped forward.
"No! That's fine. I'll just be your little boytoy for the night. We can forget this ever happened in the morning. I'll be gone before you know it." A fake smile.
"Neal, come on..."
"Really, it's fine! I'm just surprised, Peter... I didn't think criminals were really your type." Neal spat out the words as though they burned. Peter's heart was cracking. He needed to touch him.
"Neal."
"Maybe I'll just - go to Reese and tell him that - that it was coercion! Oh, you just couldn't resist the beauty and charm of your partner and had to bed him! You already have him on a collar, so why not just shorten the leash?!" Shit. Neal froze. He willed the words to get back in his mouth. He'd gone way, way out of line. He was so far past the line he couldn't even see it anymore. Way to go Caffrey... Peter would never do that to him - and threatening his job was an incredibly low blow. Especially since this was exactly what Neal wanted, and was something he'd wanted for a long time. Peter didn't move.
Say something, you idiot! Neal thought to himself. Somehow he found his voice.
"Peter, no, I didn't mean that. I'm so sorry, it just - it came out-" Neal tried to backtrack. Tried to take it back.
"It's ok." Peter's voice was even.
"I'll clean the office, I'll write all the reports, I'll-" Wait. Neal paused. Did he hear that right? "Huh?"
"Neal, it's ok. You were caught in the heat of the moment. I know you'd never do that."
"Peter..."
Peter bridged the gap and wrapped Neal in his arms.
"Don't ever think I don't care about you, Caffrey. I do. I think about you so much."
"...Platonically." Neal tried to savor the moment, even knowing that's all it meant.
"No."
No? Was he hearing right? He'd have to get a checkup later.
"Caffrey - Neal. I... care about you a lot more than professionally acceptable. I'm just a... "tough love" kinda guy. I treat you like a criminal because, well, besides the obvious, because I see how amazing you can be when you apply yourself." Peter held on tighter. "That's still not what I'm trying to say. Sorry, I'm bad at this." Peter let out a shaky breath. His blood rushed in his ears.
"Neal... I... I love you."
All the air was knocked out of Neal's lungs because of those three words. Three words he had dreamed about countless times, had cum to countless times, had wished to hear countless times, but even more - had wished to say countless times.
"I want you, Neal. Not just as my partner. And so does El. And Satchmo." The dog perked up at his name, seemingly in agreement. "You're part of the family. And we love you."
Neal was dizzy. Happy dizzy.
"Peter," Neal looked up, piercing Peter's gaze. "I love you too. And El. And Satchmo." He laughed. "I can't imagine a life without you."
Peter cupped Neal's face in his hands and kissed him. Softly at first, getting a feel for the lips he'd known for so long but never touched. The lips he had imagined doing more than just kissing. Neal's hands had free reign, running down to Peter's hips and pulling at the fabric. Peter pulled away.
"Woah, cowboy. Save it for upstairs." Neal grinned.
Neal strode over to the stairs, his hair tousled and eyes devilish. His eyes twinkled with the same mischievous look as Elizabeth's.
"Ok, but this is strictly a one-time thing, so don't get too comfortable."
"Oh, of course." Neal winked. Peter rolled his eyes.
"And you are never, under any circumstances, to repeat the events of this night to anyone."
"Right."
"No bragging to Jones or Diana."
"You offend me, Agent Burke."
"I mean it, Caffrey. Not even Mozzy."
"No Mozzy, got it."
"If he even so much as gets a whiff of this, consider yourself sent back to prison."
"Ok, Peter, I get it already! I promise I won't tell a soul. Now let's go, El must be waiting!" Neal glanced up the stairs and back to Peter. Burke gave Caffrey a peck on the cheek before slapping his ass to get a move on.
This would not be a one-time thing.