Inspired by Christina Perri's Jar of Hearts.
He had heard he was back. 'Unfinished business' The vampires and Elena betting that the werewolves were ramping up. Planning a full out attack. War. War of the werewolves versus the vampires.
The werewolves seeking the moonstone. Plotting to kill the doppelganger. Elena. In order to break the curse. Relinquishing the undead to night walk into perpetuity. While freeing themselves. Changing their fate. Giving them the power to change at will. Effectively reversing the domination of vampires over werewolves. Fighting for the survival of their breed.
He got it. He understood the need to take sides. To choose. To declare an allegiance. It was important to belong. To fit in. To have a sense of belonging. To be accepted. Unconditionally. Something the other boy had never experienced within his own family.
And he knew he hated being a werewolf. Dreaded the coming years of monthly shift changing. That he hated the possibility of hurting humans. Killing them. Never mind the physical pain that came with changing into a werewolf. Over and over again. Without reprise. He understood the temptation the moonstone held for the young part time lupine.
And so he had chosen. He chose his pack over him. And left town. With no good bye. No text. No phone call. No email. Nothing but silence. Which spoke volumes.
And that was the unforgiveable part. The painful part. It had hurt. A lot.
Early on he had spent his time checking electronics. Then double checking. Ensuring that all connections were open and set up properly. He had sent text after text. Had left voice messages galore. Sent email upon email until his pleas were returned from a full inbox. And still nothing.
So fuck him. He'd moved on. He had Bonnie now. Bonnie who was going to save them all. Who was going to sacrifice herself so that Elena could survive.
And he now had a purpose. He needed to find a way to ensure that both Bonnie and Elena lived. That was his quest. His focus. He didn't have time to think about him.
So fuck him. Obviously he had meant nothing to the other boy. Their clandestine meetings. Stolen moments. The excitement of hiding their 'relationship'. Talking. Fucking. Holding each other for hours. Planning for the future. When they would leave Mystic Falls and all the craziness behind. When they would be together always. But clearly there had been no moment of indecision. He had left. Without looking back.
So fuck him. He knew he shouldn't have believed him. When that dog had said he was the 'only one'. That he needed him. That the younger boy kept him sane. Helped him to hold on throughout the madness.
It had been bullshit. And he had believed it. Had let himself be seduced. By expressions of love. Through words of worship and acts of physical affection. Christ, he was an idiot. How could he have let that happen?
So fuck him. He should have seen that he was being used. That he was a diversion. Nothing but a reprieve from an otherwise unhappy life. But he hadn't figured it out. He had responded to the caresses. The gentle touch. The soft looks that were never directed in pubic. Only in the privacy of the car. Or bedroom. Or woods. Or wherever they had managed to be alone.
And now here he was. Standing in front of him. Looking sad. Looking hot. Reaching out his hand. So close that he could smell that familiar smell. So close he could see the pain in the other's eyes. The regret. The longing.
Fuck him. Being sexy and vulnerable wasn't going to get him anywhere. 'Sorry' wasn't going to cut it. Not even close. He'd been abandoned. Again. And that was not going to be forgotten. It was not going to be forgiven.
"Get the hell out of here." He spoke harshly. Trying to keep his composure. Struggling with his resolve.
"Jer. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left like that. I was fucked up. I needed to get away. To think. So much was happening. Caroline. Elena. Legends. Moonstones. Werewolves and fucking vampires, man. My head was going to explode. You've got to understand."
"Yeah. I understand. You didn't care enough to say good-bye. Didn't respond to my thousands of attempts to get in touch with you. I was worried. At first. Now I don't care. So, get the hell out. And leave me alone."
The other teen's shoulders dropped. He looked defeated. But then he took a step forwards. So he instinctively stepped back. Away from him. Because he couldn't bear to be this close. This close without touching. Without gathering the shorter beautiful boy into his arms. Holding him close. Kissing him.
"Jeremy. Please. I love you. I know I messed up. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just couldn't think straight. I needed to escape. But I missed you. Every minute of every day. The whole time I was gone. I just wanted to be with you. To see you. I'm here to say I'm sorry. To ask for another chance. Please. Just let me touch you." He stopped. Reached out again. With both arms.
"Keep your fucking hands off me. I don't want you near me. You don't love me. If you did you never would have done that. You would never have left me like that. So go back to your pack of wolves. And let me get on with what I need to do. Just go away."
He was having trouble breathing. Could sense that he was shaking. The room began to darken. 'Please God' he begged inwardly, 'don't let me faint in front of him. Don't let him see how he still affects me.' He shut his eyes. Shook his head side to side. Struggled to stay on his feet.
Opened his eyes cautiously. The young werewolf was still standing in front of him. His expression flat. Eyes dark. Arms handing at his sides. Fists clenched in frustration. "Jer. I came back for you. Only you. I'm done with this curse business. Leave here with me. We can find somewhere to be without all this shit. Like we talked about. Just the two of us. Together."
He thought about it. The idea was more than appealing. To leave behind all this insanity. To walk away from age-old wars that weren't of his doing. To forgo the constant stress of other people's lives being in jeopardy. To live without the relentless presence of impending doom.
To leave with him. To be with him. Always. To breathe with him. To sleep with him. To wake up with him. To share days and nights. To make plans. To live their lives. Together. It sounded like perfection.
Except it couldn't be. Because he was a werewolf. And would always be. And because the lycanthrope had other alliances now. He wouldn't be able to ignore the demands of his kind. The demand to help fight. Fight them.
He couldn't' run away with him. Because Elena's life was in danger. And so was Bonnie's. And Stefan's. And others. He couldn't simply walk away. Couldn't desert those who needed him.
He thought of what the two had shared. How they had managed to find each other at a time when they both needed someone. Someone to lean on. To care about. To share fears. And to dream about a future. A future that didn't involve Mystic Falls and all that entailed. A place where they were two ordinary boys. Boys in love.
And he thought about how the other boy had left. The pain of being abandoned once more. Thought about how he had, yet again, opened himself up to someone who had taken that trust and tossed it aside. Thought about how he was just now starting to put himself back together. To learn to carry on. Without him.
"I'm not going anywhere with you. We are over. I don't love you anymore. So, for the last time, leave." And then he was alone once more.