Okay, first day, back to work. I can do this...

Or maybe I can't.

Maybe if I take notes...

She moves quickly around the room, finding a pocket-size moleskine notebook she had used in the hospital to keep track of everyone and everything.

Flipping quickly through the notes she made when she met with her mother, she finds the notes from the time she was still at the hospital and her team first came to visit.

Hotchner: Boss, former prosecutor. From my world.

Morgan: Friend, close friend, maybe closest friend (?).

Reid: Nerdy, shy. Didn't say much.

Rossi: Father-like figure

Penelope: Eccentric, fun

Jennifer: Hard to read, I don't think we were that close

She continued reading, now getting to the notes on her weekly dinners with Aaron.

I need to remember to call him Hotchner at work.

Since the accident, and during all four months of her recovery, she and Hotch worked together to get her ready to get back into the field. The doctors said that while her long-term memory is gone, likely forever, her skills and knowledge are intact. She can still be a profiler, which is good, as profiler is all Emily is right now.

Grabbing her jacket, she pockets the moleskine and walks out of her apartment. The apartment she was told was her home, though it hasn't felt that way in 4 months.

"In 3.4 miles, take a right at Travis Lane. Your destination will be at your right."

"Thank you, Siri. Thank you for helping me get to the job I have been driving to alone for over 3 years. Now I don't even recognize the building..." Emily says, to no one in particular, as her looks at the FBI headquarters. This has been her home away from home since she joined the BAU three years ago, now it means nothing to her.

The doctor had asked her to avoid anxiety-filled situations but that seemed impossible. Her life was now filled with anxiety. Everyone was a stranger, nothing was familiar, everything was unknown.

It still surprised her that she is able to remember how to do somethings, like muscle-memory. She was able to shoot just fine. Her profiling skills, at least according to Hotch, are still excellent, and she can cook. Quite well, actually.

However, she still had trouble calling her mother "mother" and she knows that it hurts her friends when she can't remember their names or important moments they have shared.

She also has no actual memories older than 4 months. She has all the knowledge from her life experiences but no recollection of how she got this knowledge. She is unable to pair the lesson with the life experience. It was eerie and uncomfortable.

"ID" Says the security guard at the gate without looking up. Finally making eye contact he says, "Prentiss! You are back!"

"Um, thank you." Emily response, obviously not recognizing the guard.

"Oh, I am so sorry. Jake, Jake Gillespie. We played in the same basketball league. I heard what happened. I am really sorry. You have been missed, Em, its good to have you back."

"Thank you... Jake." Emily says, feeling oddly emotional. She didn't recognize him but he seemed to genuinely happy to see her that she couldn't help but feel moved by the sentiment.

Before she driving away, reluctant to end this interaction, she asks, "so, tell me, when do we play basketball?"

"Thursdays, 7pm. Court D. What,", Jake jokes, "think you are ready to join? We are pretty tough. You might want to wait a couple of weeks..."

"Of course!" Emily responds as she pulls away from the gate and jokes, "you are just scared that the lady with the head injury will kick your butt."

"Ha! You wish! I am the Stephen Curry of the FBI!" Jake yells to the back of Emily's car. Laughing as he watches her drive away.

Taking on last deep breath, Emily walks into the BAU office area. There isn't a lot of movement but she immediately recognizes Morgan and Reid waiting by what she assumes is her desk.

"Welcome back, Princess!" Morgan boasts with arms wide-open.

"I still cannot believe I let you call me 'princess',"Emily responds, unable to stop herself from laughing.

"Let me? You love it!" Morgan says, hugging Emily close. "Tell her Reid, doesn't she love it when I call her 'princess'..."

"Well, not sure about love ..." Reid says, looking at Emily with kindness in his eyes.

"Pay no attention to him, princess, he is just jealous that I only call him 'Reid'." Morgan answers, moving back to his desk.

"Please do not call me 'princess.' Reid is just fine." Reid responds as he moves closer to Emily.

"How do you feel? First day back... Uhm, this is your desk... Please let me know if I can help you in any way..." Reid says, standing awkwardly to the side, unsure of what else to say.

"Thank you, Reid." Emily says, rubbing her friend's arm trying to make him feel more comfortable. Turning to her desk and at the pile of paperwork in her inbox, she jokes, "I might have you fill out all these reports for me. They have been pilling up. You would think that while I was out injured one of you would have volunteered to complete these..." Emily jokingly responds.

She wants to share more, she wants to tell them that she is overwhelmed and doubting her ability to do this job. She wants to stop joking and cry.

But she doesn't and she doesn't know why she withholds. She trusts them, she knows she does. But still, she doesn't share. She doesn't understand her instincts.

For the past four months many have offered to help, to drop everything they were doing and help. But she, automatically, dismissed them. Even when she knew she actually did need help. Its like muscle-memory, putting up walls between her and the people she is pretty sure she loves. She doesn't understand why but she knows she can't stop herself from doing so.

"And take away all your fun?" Morgan asks, laughing.

"Gee, thanks!" Emily sarcastically answers. Shrugging her jacket off and settling at her desk. Looking around she sees a lot of things, recognizing none of it.

There is a mug, no print, black. A water bottle, again, no print, just black. Pens, pencils, and two partially-filled yellow notepads. Another moleskine notebook with notes from past cases, Harmon/Kardon headphones, expensive-looking, soundproof. Everything makes sense and seems to fit with her persona, except the plush toy beneath her computer screen. A fish, orange and white fish.

Emily holds it in her hands and hears Reid behind her, "its Nemo. Its a children's movie... its your favorite movie. Well, you would never confess that it is your favorite movie... But you watch it on your phone in the plane after tough cases. Its like your go to feel-good movie."

"Did you get it for me?" she asks as she writes Nemoin her moleskine. She needs to make sure to watch that movie.

"It was a gift but not from me... You actually never told us who got you the toy. You have had it for about 7 months or so, I believe..." Reid says, and quickly, almost unconsciously, looks up at an office door across from their desks.

"Whose office?" Emily asks, curious, following Reid's gaze.

"Its just JJ's office. I am surprised she hasn't come out to say hello yet. She's probably on the phone. She will be happy you are back. She has missed you a lot." Reid says, a sad tone in his voice that Emily can't quite place. Nothing they have been talking about was sad but Reid suddenly sounded wounded, oddly apologetic.

Before Emily had a chance to ask why it happened, someone had run towards her and enveloped her in a big bear hug.

Penelope.

"OMG Emily! You are back. And you looks so good. How can you look this good after being hit by a truck!? The scar on your forehead has completely disappeared." Penelope says as she inspects Emily's forehead and body.

"Penelope! Its good to see you... like what you see, huh? Well, its always good to have a mother who can afford expensive aesthetic surgery. She seemed more concerned about my looks than she was about my memory."

"Well, your mother is... not sure I should say it... I wouldn't want to hurt your new image of your mother..." Penelope says, reluctant to put ideas into Emily's head.

"She is a piece of work." Emily interrupts her friend. "I have only known her for 4 months and I can already tell that growing up with her was brutal. Maybe losing my long-term memory wasn't so bad..." Emily smiles deviously as she looks up at her friend.

"Ohhh Emily. You are bad!" Garcia tries to look stern but is quickly joining in the joke. "Oh, this reminds me, my chocolate Adonis tells me you have been reading up on all of our past cases. I have more records if you want."

"I would love them, thank you Penelope... oh sorry, Garcia. I keep messing up everyone's names..." Emily says, feeling uncomfortable and self-conscious. Its harder than it seems, to act normal, when you can't remember what normal is like.

"No need to apologize, sweetheart. You call me whatever you want. Garcia, Pen, Penelope, love of your life, sweet cherry pie! I am just so happy you are back here with us." Garcia says, again enveloping Emily in a big hug. While Emily feels uncomfortable in the hug and is slow to reciprocate, she has a lingering feeling that that has never stopped Garcia from hugging her before.

The four friends- Emily, Reid, Garcia, and Morgan- settled into a comfortable conversation. The three friends had visited Emily several times in the past four months, so there was already some comfort, some familiarity.

Emily had spent many and long nights talking to Morgan, Reid was making her watch (well, technically rewatch) all Dr. Who episodes on Netflix, and Garcia would often stop by on weekends to chat and gossip about people from work.

Even though Emily had explained many times that she no longer had any idea who Garcia was referring to, they still gossiped and after a couple of weeks of this, Emily just started feigning shock and awe when context led her to believe the gossip as particularly juicy.

For the rest of Emily's first day back, her friends filled her in on what had happened in the 4 months she had been on medical leave. She met Rossi for lunch and spent most of the afternoon going through protocol with Hotch. She only saw Jennifer once, at the kitchen, and they made pleasant but meaningless conversation. She was starting to feel comfortable again at the BAU.

She had spent four months away. Three weeks in the hospital, and nine additional weeks of recovery and intensive physical therapy. The accident got her a broken leg, a broken arm and two broken ribs. But the worst damage was to her brain. When she fell after the hit, she hit her head on the concrete. Major damage to the cortex, she was unconscious and in a coma for the first week she was in the hospital and barely conscious for the second week.

It sounds bad but she lucked out, actually. Her sensory and short-term memory were intact but long-term memory is gone. She can create new long-term memories but, for reasons the doctor's don't quite understand, her already formed memories are gone.

Waking up in the hospital was particularly bad. She had no idea where she was, who she was and what had happened. Jennifer had been sitting next to her at the hospital bed and calmed her down from her panic attack.

Sweetheart, its okay. You are safe now. Was the first thing she heard when she woke up after 2 weeks of blurry visions and headaches. Jennifer had been sweet and thoughtful at that moment. Holding her hand and stroking her hair. But things went downhill fast. The less Emily remembered, the more withdrawn Jennifer became and by the end of the day, Hotchner had replaced her by Emily's bed.

From that point on, Hotch had become her source of information, both about work and about her family. It helped that they were from the same world, a world of politics, money and elitism. He knew her mother, and knew a lot about Emily's relationship (or lack thereof) with her Elizabeth Prentiss. He knew a number of Emily's college friends and helped her acclimate back to her life.

It was almost 7pm when Emily started to get ready to leave. Morgan and Garcia had left almost an hour before and though they insisted she grab dinner with them, Emily really wanted to get some work done. She missed work, it was the first day in a long time she felt fulfilled. Reid and Rossi left shortly after Morgan and Garcia. Now, it was just her, Hotchner in his office, and Jennifer in her office.

Satisfied with her last report of the day, Emily got up to wash her coffee mug and get ready to leave. Taking one last look around, she waves goodbye to Hotch and confidently walking out of the BAU and the FBI.

This is the first day of my new life.