King of the Daleks
by Thirsty Brooks
CT, USA Jan 2013
Scene 1: The TARDIS
Vastra: (entering) Doctor, you seem to be getting along quite well with Oswin.
Doctor: She means the world to me.
Madame Vastra: You were married to River Song. I know she's gone, but she was a time traveler. How are you going to deal with the possibility that at any moment she may reenter your life?
The Doctor: Sometimes it's best just to let things happen the way they happen.
Madame Vastra: What are you going to do when she and Oswin meet, and both have a claim on you?
The Doctor: It's a big universe and that's not very likely.
Madame Vastra: The TARDIS has an uncanny sense of how to home in on the brink of disaster. I think you'd better think about this carefully. You need to prepare yourself.
The Doctor: River and Oswin look different, but they have a lot in common, They'll get along well together, won't they?
Madame Vastra: Doctor, Doctor, this is River Song we're talking about. Do you really think things can be so simple?
The Doctor: Everything about River Song is simpler and more outrageous than it appears.
Madame Vastra: Good day to you, Doctor. (walks out)
Scene 2: A space ship of The Silence. The Doctor is bound, gagged, and strapped to a board.
Kovarian: Now, Doctor, you can see the Asteroid Fields of Trenzalore. We will bring peace to the universe by destroying the Time Lock on the Time War between your people and the Daleks. By ridding the universe of both of you, we make it possible for others to lead the universe responsibly.
Dorium: You do understand why this must happen, Doctor?
Kovarian (to troops): You may begin.
(Large noise. Clara appears next to a Dalek)
Clara: It would be a shame to hurt him. He has always been such a Pretty Boy.
(HUGE noise and a burst of light)
Kovarian: What?
The Doctor: (MMMPH)
Dorium: It appears the Time Lock has not been destroyed, but merely broken.
The Doctor: (MMMPH)
Kovarian (takes off The Doctor's gag): What is the meaning of this?
The Doctor: She did it.
Kovarian: Did what?
The Doctor: How embarrassing.
Kovarian: What?
Clara: I opened the Time Lock.
Kovarian: How?
Clara: His name. The password was his name.
Kovarian: His name is Pretty Boy?
The Doctor: Well, it's not the one I was born with. But that would've been dangerous, anyway. Because somebody could always look that up. This one ...you have to admit it's embarrassing. I never tell anyone. Some women just ...find out, that's all.
Clara: Doctor. my dear, I don't think it serves any purpose for them to keep you here any longer.
Dorium: You? You opened the Time Lock? Who are you?
(armies of Daleks begin to stream out of the Time Locked war)
Clara: We'll leave that to another day, Dorium.
Dorium: It appears the Daleks have won the Time War rather decisively.
(Clara goes back behind her Dalek. She and the Doctor disappear.)
Scene 3: Inside a TARDIS
The Doctor: Where did you learn to speak Gallifreyan? That lock didn't open to any ordinary nickname. It took the TARDIS translation matrix to make that trick work.
Clara: Oh, there are many things you'll discover about me in due time, Pretty Boy. (kisses)
Scene 4: a crowded marketplace on a foreign planet
(The Doctor is walking through a crowded area and comes to a station like a hotel desk with Daleks behind it. He puts a package on the counter.)
Dalek: Welcome, Doctor.
The Doctor: Doctor? Me?
Dalek: Records indicate you are The Doctor.
(Many more Daleks come up from behind. One points directly at The Doctor.) You will come with us.
The Doctor (aside): I thought you lot had forgotten about me.
Dalek: Every Dalek knows who you are, Doctor.
The Doctor: Where are you taking me?
Dalek: To the Queen.
The Doctor: Who?
Dalek: The Queen of the Daleks
The Doctor: I didn't know you had a Queen. I didn't know you had females.
Dalek: Records indicate we have always had a Queen.
The Doctor: Why? What does she want with me?
Dalek: Records indicate you are married to the Queen of the Daleks.
The Doctor: What ?
Dalek: The Queen told us to find you and bring you to her.
The Doctor: Oh, no.
Dalek: Escape is futile. Come with us.
The Doctor: What could the Queen of the Daleks possibly want with me?
Dalek: She gave us a message for you.
The Doctor: What kind of a message?
Dalek: It makes no sense to us.
The Doctor: What is this message?
Dalek: Hello, Sweetie.
Scene 5: The Data Core of The Library
The Doctor: River, I've come to talk to you about life.
River Song: You're back! It's wonderful! It's been so long since I've seen you. Well, I say that but I can't really see in this form without eyes. But it's not a problem. I've solved the problem.
The Doctor: River, I've come to talk about a woman.
River Song: NO! Who is she?
The Doctor: This is very awkward. But since you're trapped in the Data Core, I've met someone and I'd like to marry her.
River Song: NO! Dear God after all these years ...to have accomplished so much. How could this happen?
The Doctor: River, I need to be with a real person again.
River Song: But I AM a real person. We still need a real wedding. The only reason it didn't count was that you were dressed in that shape shifting robot. Who is this woman?
The Doctor: Well, I met her in 1892 trying to save some children from the ice in a pond.
River Song: That sounds rather trite for you.
The Doctor: Yeah, well the ice was something of an issue.
River Song: I think you deserve better.
The Doctor: She's really very good, you know. You'd like her.
River Song: I really think you deserve better.
The Doctor: River, what do you expect me to do?
River Song: There's someone I'd like you to meet.
The Doctor: Alright.
River Song: Wait just a minute.
(The Doctor waits, One big screech, a boom, and a Dalek appears.)
The Doctor: River, no!
River Song: This is a special surprise, just for you.
The Doctor: Doctor runs out of the room.
Clara (comes out of the back of the Dalek.) "Doctor? Doctor ? Where's he gone to?
River Song: He'd better be careful to stay out of the shadows. Sensors show he's heading back to the jump platform. I'll disable the platform and put the lights on in the bottom well.
(Clara goes back in the Dalek, it makes the screeching noise, and disappears)
Scene 6 : The Doctor is in the bottom well of the jump platform, trying to fix the controls
(One big screech, a boom, and a Dalek appears.)
(The Doctor hides behind a post)
(Clara climbs out the back of the Dalek)
Clara: Doctor ? Doctor ?
The Doctor: Clara? What are you doing here? There's a Dalek here. For God's sake stay behind something heavy, but stay out of the shadows.
Clara: Are you sure?
The Doctor: It just materialized on the other side of that post.
Clara (laughs): That's no Dalek. That's me.
The Doctor: Oh, Oswin, not again.
Clara: It's not a problem. I'm human.
The Doctor: You think you are.
Clara: I'm right here. Let me prove it to you.
(The Doctor starts to run, she puts out a leg and trips him): That wasn't very nice.
Clara: Neither was running out on me.
The Doctor: Clara, there's a Dalek right over there.
Clara: No it's not.
The Doctor: Right next to that post.
Clara: No it's not.
The Doctor: The blue machine with the bumps on it, that's a Dalek.
Clara: No it's not. Come here. (Drags him by the hand)
The Doctor: You'll get us both killed.
Clara: Actually, it's a lot safer than trying to get past the Vashta Nerada the way you came.
The Doctor: What do you mean?
Clara: (Opens door at the rear) Alright, in you go, then.
The Doctor: I'm not going to fit in there.
Clara: Sure you will.
The Doctor: Well, look at it.
Clara: It's smaller on the outside, you know.
The Doctor: Where did you get this?
Clara: I built it myself.
The Doctor: You built a TARDIS out of a Dalek?
Clara: What's a woman to do? I was stuck at home. I got tired of knitting. I took up arts and crafts.
The Doctor: So you built your own TARDIS?
Clara: It's a good thing I did. You incapacitated my guards at the Asylum, and opened the lock on my cell, but then you took off on the transport deck. When I took down the force field to allow you to transport off the Asylum, the Daleks weren't watching and I was able to fly right out.
The Doctor: That was a pretty remote planet, where did you go next?
Clara: It's a real TARDIS. It can go everywhere. And every when. But I went back to the Dalek Senate just after you left.
The Doctor: No wonder they put you in an Asylum, That's insane.
Clara: Well, memories that have been wiped have a tendency to come back. I though it would be better to substitute a different memory instead.
The Doctor: Oh, no, you didn't.
Clara: So I asked them vote for me for Queen.
The Doctor: You don't vote for Queens.
Clara: I know. But while they were busy arguing about that, I fixed their data records. That works.
Scene 7: Flashback to Daleks invading the main room of The Library. Just as they land, a large stone falls from the ceiling and smashes the back half of their transport device. They deploy and begin marching through the stacks. Eventually they discover that someone is turning the lights on and off and that they must stay in the light or die. A handful of remaining Daleks confronts a Flesh Aspect communication post back in the main room.
Daleks: Information Post. We seek information. Our ship is destroyed. How do we open a communication link off this planet?
River Song: (as face rotates into view) Welcome to The Library. Few are saved. No survivors.
Daleks: Mercy ! Mercy !
River Song: Oh, I'm not going to shoot you. I've seen the future, and I know you'll be good Daleks. What are you doing here, anyway? The only Dalek planet around here isn't exactly safe.
Dalek: Our communication masters wanted to install a communications link to the Data Core of the library to we can extract its knowledge.
River Song: Doesn't that seem rather dangerous? What if The Library invaded your data network?
Dalek: Daleks built a special purpose communications device that has unique security in one direction and unsurpassed code breaking resources on the other.
River Song: Well, first I have a project for you. If you stay in the light you won't have any problems with our skeletal neighbors. Why don't you take that communications device right down to the Data Core like you were going to? (we watch this going on)
Dalek: You can be trusted.
River Song: Next you can round up a handful of Flesh Aspect communication posts and bringing them down to the Data Core. (we watch this going on)
...
River Song: Next I want you to go back to your transport device and bring me the main command console. (we see this happening)
...
River Song: Next we'll need more parts from your engine room and power utility room. And you'd better bring the small parts trays and the tool boxes. This Data Chip has the list on it. I'm afraid it's rather long, but we've got time on our hands, don't we? (more pictures of busy Daleks)
Scene 8: In the Data Core, which is now piled high with Dalek equipment.
Dalek: This is the last of the items on the list. I am finished. Let me go.
River Song: I told you. I've always known you were going to be a good Dalek.
(Lights go out. Dalek screams briefly. Sound of bones crunching. Lights come back on. Power starts to flow in the glowing circuits connected to the Flesh Aspects. River's face appears, various body parts, the color of the glow shifts to a golden hue. CAL's face and a few body parts, intermixed. As the pace of switching body parts picks up speed, the heads begin to stay at one end of the body and the legs at the other, until suddenly all the parts match at the correct locations for mirrors around a body. The mirrored items invert, golden flames seal the gaps, and they emit a large ball of golden smoke, out of which a female body appears, with full regeneration flares at the head and extremities. As she stabilizes, Clara pats herself down and goes over to a Flesh Aspect, where she sees River.
(both) Oh, is that what I look like?
(primping) Nice hair.
(looks at arms) We're not the same, you know. (I/you)'ve regenerated.
River Song: Well, you're not as big a woman as I used to be, but it'll do.
Clara: Smaller on the outside.
River Song: So you've met Captain Jack?
Clara: Haven't we all? Remember dear, I'm you.
River Song: Let's stick with The Doctor.
Clara: Right. How do I find him?
River Song: Well, there's a tool box right there girl. I've got the instruction books in my data banks, and we've got some work to do. Grab that mask over there and let's get down to business.
...
Clara (dons welder's outfit, gets torch. Goes to a large pile of machines and assembles a set of consoles at center. Joins consoles together. Gets some rigging and lowers a towering device into the top of the consoles. Starts working on wiring. Days come and go.)
...
River Song: When then, let's see what we've got.
Clara: (fires up the console): It's working. It needs a body. (shuts down console)
River Song: Well, we've got lots of bodies, but they're all Daleks.
Clara: (fires up cutting torch) They'll have to do.
River Song; That looks good.
Clara: (back at console) These settings should get us to a quiet part of the galaxy.
River Song: Off you go then. Give my love to The Doctor.
Clara: Thank you for everything. People would call me crazy for having spent weeks talking to myself in such detail. It's been a lot of fun, actually.
River Song: Come back and see me some time. But stay out of the shadows.
(Clara closes back of the Dalek. It makes one long whooshing TARDIS noise and disappears)
River Song: Another one that likes to leave the brakes on,
Scene 9: The cruise ship Alaska, with about a dozen shooting Daleks chasing it. Clara shoots at the Daleks. Some shoot back. The Alaska is hit again and starts down toward the planet. A number of Daleks sneak up on Clara's TARDIS and bind it in chains.)
Clara: Get offa me. Leave me alone.
Daleks: This Dalek is alien.
Clara: Get offa me. I'll shoot if you don't let me go. Who the bloody hell do you think you are?
Daleks: This Dalek is insane.
Clara: Not me. You're the bloomin' crazies.
Daleks: Records indicate this Dalek was lost in The Library. Central communication cannot be established. Voice access only.
Clara: I'm alright. Just let me go. (removes chains) I have to go see what happened to the people on that ship.
Daleks: Forbidden. No one may go there.
Clara: Well, I'm not No One. (throws chains off to the side)
Daleks: Forbidden. No Dalek has ever returned from there.
Clara: See you around. (heads down toward planet)
Daleks: That Dalek was insane. It has made the correct choice. The Asylum is the right place for it.
Scene 10: The lone survivor crawls out of the Alaska.
Clara: (comes up to him, with her Dalek TARDIS on the background) Are you hurt?
Guy: I was holding on to the handle on the wall beside my seat. I think I pulled my shoulder out of the socket.
Clara: Are there any other survivors?
Guy: No, they're all dead. Some kind of ray weapon before we went down. They never knew what hit them.
Clara: Let's see that arm.
Guy: Ouch !
Clara: I want you to sit here next to this chunk of ice, and lean on it.
Guy: (arranges himself) OK.
Clara: Now then. (Grabs his arm and pulls.)
Guy: OWW !
Clara: It's off to the side a little, here. (pulls again)
Guy: Auuugh ! That hurts.
Clara: Well, we don't have any real painkillers, but we've got video games. Some doctor's study say they're better for deadening pain anyhow.
Guy: You're a miracle. Where did you come from?
Clara: I'm the junior entertainment officer on the Alaska.
Guy: I didn't see you before.
Clara: You need to pay more attention.
(Guy begins playing video games on the console rigged up by Clara. She begins tapping into the Dalek communication network to try to get messages outside. As she learns how it works, she learns that the communicator in her TARDIS can link back to the Library Data Core with spectacular bandwidth.)
Scene 11: (Clara getting out of her Dalek TARDIS with The Doctor into the room in front of the Library Data Core)
Clara: Did you miss me?
The Doctor: Very much. Love is a wonderful thing.
Clara: Did you fancy River Song?
The Doctor: I married her, or at least we had a sort of a wedding in order to straighten out the killing thing.
Clara: Sort of a wedding? Was it or wasn't it?
The Doctor: She said it didn't really count, and I needed to have a real wedding. But she was an important person in my life, and I really needed to know I had her permission.
Clara: Well, she was nice, but I like my new outfit better.
The Doctor: Well, that didn't make a lot of sense. Why don't you try that again?
Clara: You haven't noticed my haircut?
The Doctor: Well, now that you mention it, it is really very nice.
Clara: Men! Sometimes they have no idea.
The Doctor: Come here. (kissing)
Clara: Hello sweetie!
The Doctor: She used to say that.
Clara: Who?
The Doctor: River Song.
Clara: Course I did. It's one of my favorite sayings.
The Doctor: Wait a minute.
Clara: But I was really hoping you'd like this new haircut and suit better. It gives me so much more of an impression of ...fertility, don't you think? (pins Doctor against wall and kisses him)
The Doctor: How? When did this happen?
Clara: Well, it started a couple of days after everybody left The Library. There wasn't quite enough energy at first, but there's a fabulous Time Lord Science section in the Library. At first it seemed to take forever, but finally I had to interrupt the process because it would be bad to take ordinary human form with all the Vashta Nerada around.
The Doctor: Well, that makes sense.
Clara: As you've noticed, in each regeneration the new body tries to improve a match to the culture it thinks it sees around it at the time. And I didn't want to look too much like myself or The Silence would figure out I've got loose from the Stormcage. So I ended up looking a lot like Clara, only I like the fully grown look on a woman.
The Doctor: Well, I agree with you there. (kissing) What would you do without me?
Clara: Oh, I had a lot of time alone for reading. I found an instruction book and developed an arts and crafts hobby ...making home appliances out of used Daleks.
The Doctor: You and I could have a lot fun fun with experimenting together.
Clara: Let's. Here. Hello, Sweetie. (kissing)