Title: Covered
Author: T.S. Jackal-Bright
Rating: PG-13 now, eventual R for strongly implied adult... stuff
Warnings: Foul Language, YAOI, psuedo-het, AU follows the manga timeline up to the Valley at the End and then takes a hard left, MPREG, OOCness, OCs
Pairings: SasuNaru, one-sided GaaNaru
Summary : Naruto learned a lot in the past five years, but he never did learn when to leave well enough alone.
AN: I used to be die-hard anti-MPREG but this PB plot bunny popped up and took over my life... over a year ago. I found this story again when I switched over from Zombie Bitch old computer to Anubis new computer and decided to re-edit it and throw it out there for the general amusement of the public. I don't take this seriously, just a lark that came from thinking a little too much about how Naruto and Sasuke are in luuuuv and how fabulous it would be if Sasuke killed Orochimaru and took over the Sound.

"Covered"
Prologue

It took him two years of strenuous training out on the road, with only the Pervert Sennin and his floozy of the evening as company. After that it took yet another year of hard work back home, still, unfortunately, with the hormone-drenched moron.

It took him eleven more months of simultaneously trying to hide from the Akatsuki and collect information on the whereabouts of the Hidden Village of the Sound, currently under new management.

It took him another month to sell his plan to the old hag and the Kazekage, while enduring countless beatings from both, before he convinced them.

It took him six months to master the jutsu necessary to veil his distinct chakra and his equally distinct jutsu he would perform with it.

It took five months, six missions worth of pay, twenty-seven broken bones (twenty-three in other bodies, four in his own,) a ton of creative forgery, and six trips to the tailor before he could get the plan underway.

It took three months of journeying, zigging, zagging, and generally disappearing off the radar as himself and reappearing as a rogue ninja from the Sands (Gaara having agreed to this part of the plan only after breaking those four bones of Naruto's,) seven months of gaining trust and clout as a Sound ninja, and then an added month of pretending to heal from an extra-nasty chest wound that had mended by the morning, before he actually realized it could possibly work after all.

Five years and ten months of scheming, planning, training, plotting, lying, conniving and yes, even a little bit of seducing, and he blew it all in six hours. If one wanted to be nit-picky, two deliciously active hours sprinkled throughout four total hours of post/pre-sex napping.

Of course, he had to wait a few more weeks before the full weight of his problem settled like a lead balloon in his belly.

Well, perhaps a bit further south than that.

After a stressful week waiting for that certain visitor to arrive, combined with a few nasty boughts of illness first thing in the morning, it finally dawned on him (with the help of a plastic-cased piss-strip he snuck out at risk of death to procure.)

Uzamaki Naruto was with child.

Sasuke's child.

-9 Months Earlier-

They circled round like a pack of hyenas, just dying for a big-job predator to feed and then leave them the rotting carcass. In the center stood an imposing blonde woman, leggy, lean, and with a slashed Sand forehead protector resting defiantly above her flaming-blue eyes. It didn't really matter that her glare looked like a match meeting an oil tanker run aground in shallow waters or that she had brazenly walked in and announced herself as Mori Aka and her intentions were for Uchiha-sama's ears only.

She was asking for it. Begging for trouble, really.

They couldn't wait for the beautiful brawl to begin.

Uchiha-sama had been sent for and she had been told to wait. Other than that, no one said a word. At least, not until some idiot stepped a bit too close and ended up pined beneath her foot and groaning.

This acted as enough of a catalyst to get the mob moving, closing in and leading with the points of their blades and calls for some real, bloody fun.

"Heel, idiots," the order rang out through the hall. All pulled back, except for the poor guy who had to fly back because he, unfortunately, connected with Mori's fist right when their leader spoke up. Slamming into the wall just beside Uchiha-sama, he slid down into a messy pile, whimpered, and failed to get up. Not even turning his head, Uchiha-sama strode forward. Obviously the only thing he cared to examine at that moment was the newcomer. Breath even and skin dry, the barely-mussed Mori stood there, waiting for his approach.

Was it her imagination, or had the room just gotten colder? She swore she could see her breath as the frozen gaze of the Sound leader raked across her freshly chilled flesh.

"Your name?" he asked, voice flat, no emotion. Mori could have sworn, though, that she had impressed him somewhat, and that vague admiration lurked behind his deadpan, scarlet stare. That pleased her more than it should have.

So the bastard actually did it, she thought. He used the user and got rid of Orochimaru. Itachi must be next, if Sasuke hadn't seen to him already. Not likely; they would have heard, even in the Sand.

"Mori Aka," she answered a last, a slim grin cutting across her attractive face.

"Your real name."

Mori froze. It didn't work, it should have worked but it didn't and now she was dead…

"Mori Aka? Pathetic," Uchiha-sama continued, face blank. "Which one of your buddies in the field gave you that idiotic handle?"

Inside, she exhaled with a mighty whoosh. Still all right, cover still intact. Outside she remained too-cool-to-care.

"Mori Rin, sir," she responded evenly. If he could play the stoic bastard, so could she. Try as she might, though, spark and sarcasm crept out with her words. "I would prefer if you called me 'Aka,' sir, if it's not too much an affront to his high-and-mightiness that an underling makes such a request of him."

"That name means so much to you?" he asked, staring down at her, voice void of anything but a hint of bored condescension. "You've left your world behind, Mori. Shouldn't that include the one who named you?"

"A… good friend gave me that name," she half-truthed. She had in fact made the mistake of letting Gaara pick her alias. "Even after it all, he was still a good friend."

Uchiha-sama snorted but didn't poke or prod at it any further. Instead, he continued his questioning.

"Why are you here?"

"I want to join you."

"What makes you think you can? What are you running from Mori, and why did you run to me?"

"I… had some disagreements with the management of my village and decided it was best to leave. As for coming here, I didn't come for the waters. I got to see you in action almost six years ago, at your last chuunin exam. I figured if you'd gotten better than you were then, here was as good a place as any. A heavy head-honcho, three squares, and a roof, you know. Of course, if you haven't improved since then maybe I should be the one in charge around this place."

Not even a twitch. If Sasuke had been ice all those years ago, he was death now.

"You're what, 17? Why weren't you competing in the same exam?"

"ANBU captains hardly have to fight for a rank they earned four years prior, now do they?"

Mori tried not to hold in her breath while Sasuke stared through her. It was as if he could look inside and see her lies. Still, whether he bought her story or not wouldn't be an issue once he checked up on the Sand's advancement reports. "Mori Rin" would be there, as well as in the newest Bingo book, with a viciously successful record trailing after her name.

Mori couldn't handle the stagnant quiet.

"Fight me, sir. If you win I'll submit to your orders. If I win... Well, you should just hope you win."

Silence again. Mori heard a lone cricket chirping somewhere. In the back of her mind she wondered how it got in there but the rest of her thoughts were trained on pulling this act off. It was all she could do to keep herself from leaping on the bastard, beating him senseless, and then getting murdered by the Sound underlings before she had a chance to drag Sasuke home.

Finally, Uchiha-sama nodded.

"Fine then, let's go."

-4 Hours Later-

"Good…pantpant…fight…pantpantpant…I guess I'll…pant…let you off easy this one time," Mori gasped, leaning heavily on a concrete boulder that had, only hours before, been considered part of the floor. Drenched in sweat and blood, some hers and some not, she knew if she tried to move her legs would never forgive such a heinous trespass. Across the room, in a similar position, Uchiha-sama laughed low and raspy at the girl's brass-trash-talking as she teetered on the edge of consciousness.

This girl had guts.

And a wicked right hook.

Gently wiping the blood from his bruised jaw, he spat a bit of molar on the floor. The spectators hung on the fringes, unsure of what had just occurred. Many of them were injured and dazed from being caught in the middle of what had been, for most of them there, the scariest battle they had ever witnessed. That the new chick could stand after a beating like that was amazing; that she could return the favor couldn't even register in their minds.

"You're interesting… pant...Mori. We'll see. For now…pantpant…you can stay."

"I should… pantpant…be saying that… pant… to you, Uchiha. After that performance I… pant…should… pant…be this village's new goddess. "

That creepy laugh again and then Uchiha stood upright and strode out, a little slower than when he came in but still steady. Mori admired his ability to do that. Of course he couldn't show his belly to the Sound-mongrels.

The crowd dispersed. Mori waited until she was alone to slump to the floor, exhausted.

If it weren't for this damn jutsu on top of a jutsu shit, she grumbled to herself, I could have so kicked his ass… Man, Mori sucks At least 'Operation: Infiltrate Sasuke the Bastard's Lair' was a success Naruto, you are a genius!

A shard-sharp pain in her side made "Mori Rin" gasp for air, reminding her of fight that had just ended moments ago.

Well, maybe genius is too strong of a word...

TBC