Disclaimer: Harry Potter doesn't belong to me.

Author's Note: I wrote this one-shot years ago and decided to finally give it a much-needed update. I apologize for how cracky this story is, but it made me laugh while writing it. So hopefully you guys laugh as well.

Thanks for reading! I hope y'all enjoy it. :)

Harry stared into Voldemort's eyes and Voldemort stared right back.

Without thinking too much, Harry reached up and wrapped his arms around Voldemort's neck.

"C'mon Tom, let's finish this the way we started. Together."

Harry then pulled Voldemort closer, planning on dragging him off the tower with him, but fate decided to be a bitch like usual.

Instead of them going over the edge like Harry wanted, his and Voldemort's faces got too close for comfort. Waaayyyyy too close for comfort. And by that, he meant that his and Voldemort's lips touched together, in a kiss.

Harry and Voldemort froze for a second before flying apart.

"Oh my Wizard God! Potter! Why would you do such a thing?" Voldemort yelled as he furiously scrubbed his mouth with the back of his hand. His mouth was never going to feel clean!

"Me? I didn't do a thing! You're the one who kissed me!" Harry yelled right back, spitting off the edge of the tower. The taste was never going to go away!

"Nu Uh!"

"Uh huh!"

"Nu Uh!"

"Uh huh!"

"Nu Uh!"

"Uh huh!"

Before the silly argument could continue, a small cough interrupted them.

Both Voldemort and Harry flew around to glare at the interrupter. "What!?"

The young Death Eater jumped and flinched at the yell. Why did he have to draw the small job and be the one to ask them what was happening.

"Um... My lord. I apologize profusely for interrupting. But the Final Battle is still going on and everyone is wondering where you guys disappeared to." The Death Eater said, bowing low.

"And why are they wondering that?" Harry asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, um... You see, we all want to see who kills who, becauseweareallbettingonit." The Death Eater said in a rush, a blush spreading

"Wait, wait. Slow down. What did you say?" Voldemort asked.

"We all want to see who kills who cause we all sorta betted on it." The Death Eater said with a terrified expression. Oh Wizard God, his Master was definitely going to kill him.

"WHAT!"

"WHY!"

"THAT'S SO STUPID!"

"It's obvious that I'm going to be the one to kill you."

Voldemort spun around to glare at Harry.

"Wait. You actually think you and your loser army are going to win? Ha!" Voldemort snorted. The stupid Light and their stupid idea that they could actually win at anything. "Not possible!"

"Um, I don't think. I know."

Voldemort's glare became worse at Harry's words.

"You're not going to win!"

"Yes, we will!"

"No, you won't!"

"Yes, we will!"

"No, you won't!"

Another small cough interrupted their argument.

"WHAT!"

The Death Eater flinched backward at the yell and glare. "So um, are you guys going to come down and kill one another? Because I have 15 Galleons on the line and I kinda have no job because I'm a Death Eater and I have kids to support, and..."

"Avada Kedavra!"

Voldemort stared at the Death Eater's now lifeless body before turning to stare at Harry in shock.

"You, you just, you just...'

"Killed him?" Harry said with a smirk. "Yes, I did."

"But you're Harry Potter! The Golden Boy! The icon for the Light!" Voldemort yelled. Why would Dumbledore's golden boy kill someone? Why did he even know how to use this curse anyway?

"I am. But everyone's been telling me for years that I will eventually have to kill you, and I thought I should get some practice so I can get it right on my first attempt. Also, he was pissing me off."

"Oh. Right. That makes sense." Voldemort said in understanding.

An awkward silence then took over. After a few minutes, one of them finally spoke.

"So, um... Wanna postpone killing each other until tomorrow?"

...

"Sure."

UPDATE: 3/16/2018