AN: This essay was actually not written by me, but by my extremely talented
and gifted friend Gabs last year when we were supposed to be writing a
reflections essay with the theme "I hold in my hand..." and, well, let's
just say we got a little distracted
Some people might not think it's funny, but we sure did at the time and still do, hope you do too! (Hey, that rhymes! Sexy!)
Disclaimer: I have been given permission by the All-Powerful Gabs, Dictator of Canada, aka Shadow Phantom, aka Mrs. Frolijah, aka Gandhi, to put her essay under my account for reasons like: I need more stories in my account, and.... well, that's the only reason! Thanks Gabs! Frolijah loves you!
Disclaimer #2: I don't own LotR, neither does Gabs. Are you satisfied now? I thought so.
On with the show!
The Ring of Power- An innovative essay by the brilliant Gabrielle "Wood" Also called: what goes on in Frodo's mind at random points in the story
I hold in my hand the fate of the world. The One Ring lies there looking harmless, but containing much peril and doom. It grows heavy, and words start to appear with an orange glow. Sauron is near! The orcs are coming! I must run! I am running, but I do not know how long I can hold out, (hobbits don't have much endurance you know) the Black Riders are gaining! One is reaching out to stab me! But he missed! Since I do not wear the ring they cannot see me, and rely on their horses and their noses. Mount Doom is approaching, I must cast the ring into its fiery flames! The ring MUST be destroyed! The fate of the world depends on me! Ok look, there's Legolas! Hey man, what's happenin'? Wait, there's Mount Doom, the ring, the ring! Arwen, leave me alone, you stupid little wannabe! Leave Legolas alone you cheater! You're supposed to like Strider! AHHHHH! The fire draws ever nearer. I can feel the heat of its hellish flames! I am throwing the ring! It will be destroyed! NO! A Balrog has intercepted the ring! It is slipping it on, it is now invisible. I must find a Black Rider's sword to dispose of this creature before it is too late! It most likely works for Sauron and will return the ring to him, causing the world to fall into shadow once again! Sam, stop groping me! I didn't know there was an eiffel tower in Mordor! (sorry, inside joke) I must get help. The help of the fellowship. Where are they? Oh no! They have been captured by the servants of the Dark Lord! The world is doomed...No! I must stand up, and save the world! Everybody is counting on me! I am running for the Balrog, I can feel its hot breath although I cannot see it. There! I have stabbed it through the heart, and found the ring again! I once again have the ring in my possession! And with it... I shall rule the world!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I have fallen under the power of the ring; it has infested my mind. Somebody else must take it before I fade and fall under the power of Sauron. My mind is rotting. Gollum? AH! He just bit off my finger! Give me back the ring! It is mine! My preciousssssss, my birthday present! Give it back to me! No! Do not cast it into the fires! Then it most surely will be destroyed! AHHHHHH! It has been destroyed! It will no longer plague the minds of men! Sauron will fall under the power of good! Like Peter Jackson! Oh glorious day! I'm going to go back home to the Shire and eat. I'm famished. Saving the world sure makes you hungry.
The End!
Some people might not think it's funny, but we sure did at the time and still do, hope you do too! (Hey, that rhymes! Sexy!)
Disclaimer: I have been given permission by the All-Powerful Gabs, Dictator of Canada, aka Shadow Phantom, aka Mrs. Frolijah, aka Gandhi, to put her essay under my account for reasons like: I need more stories in my account, and.... well, that's the only reason! Thanks Gabs! Frolijah loves you!
Disclaimer #2: I don't own LotR, neither does Gabs. Are you satisfied now? I thought so.
On with the show!
The Ring of Power- An innovative essay by the brilliant Gabrielle "Wood" Also called: what goes on in Frodo's mind at random points in the story
I hold in my hand the fate of the world. The One Ring lies there looking harmless, but containing much peril and doom. It grows heavy, and words start to appear with an orange glow. Sauron is near! The orcs are coming! I must run! I am running, but I do not know how long I can hold out, (hobbits don't have much endurance you know) the Black Riders are gaining! One is reaching out to stab me! But he missed! Since I do not wear the ring they cannot see me, and rely on their horses and their noses. Mount Doom is approaching, I must cast the ring into its fiery flames! The ring MUST be destroyed! The fate of the world depends on me! Ok look, there's Legolas! Hey man, what's happenin'? Wait, there's Mount Doom, the ring, the ring! Arwen, leave me alone, you stupid little wannabe! Leave Legolas alone you cheater! You're supposed to like Strider! AHHHHH! The fire draws ever nearer. I can feel the heat of its hellish flames! I am throwing the ring! It will be destroyed! NO! A Balrog has intercepted the ring! It is slipping it on, it is now invisible. I must find a Black Rider's sword to dispose of this creature before it is too late! It most likely works for Sauron and will return the ring to him, causing the world to fall into shadow once again! Sam, stop groping me! I didn't know there was an eiffel tower in Mordor! (sorry, inside joke) I must get help. The help of the fellowship. Where are they? Oh no! They have been captured by the servants of the Dark Lord! The world is doomed...No! I must stand up, and save the world! Everybody is counting on me! I am running for the Balrog, I can feel its hot breath although I cannot see it. There! I have stabbed it through the heart, and found the ring again! I once again have the ring in my possession! And with it... I shall rule the world!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I have fallen under the power of the ring; it has infested my mind. Somebody else must take it before I fade and fall under the power of Sauron. My mind is rotting. Gollum? AH! He just bit off my finger! Give me back the ring! It is mine! My preciousssssss, my birthday present! Give it back to me! No! Do not cast it into the fires! Then it most surely will be destroyed! AHHHHHH! It has been destroyed! It will no longer plague the minds of men! Sauron will fall under the power of good! Like Peter Jackson! Oh glorious day! I'm going to go back home to the Shire and eat. I'm famished. Saving the world sure makes you hungry.
The End!