Shinn Asuka's Anger Management Class
DISCLAIMER: I don't own GS/D.
"You drank my coffee, didn't you?"
"I didn't. Stop accusing me, will you?"
"I won't. 'Till you admit that you really drank my coffee!
"Never!"
If you think that people are panicking, think again people. This wasn't something new. People merely shrugged as if this was a normal part of their lives. Well, if you think if it that way, it was really typical for everyone in Zaft. Yzak and Dearka fighting over something rather stupid in the cafeteria was usual. For most people, they even think of this as an entertainment. It got really boring ever since the war ended. They think of this as some sort of diversion, I guess.
"Dearka! Yzak!" Both Zaft soldiers looked at who called them. Shinn Asuka came running towards them.
"Athrun was looking for both of you." Shinn said, still catching his breath.
"Tell Zala that Dearka and I have business to attend to." Yzak answered gruffly. He glared at Dearka for more emphasis.
"Both of you need to control your anger." Shinn muttered, finally regaining his breath.
"Say that to Mr. Grumpy there." Dearka mocked.
"Why you!" Yzak was ready to pounce on Dearka.
"Stop it, will you!" Shinn stepped in the middle of the two. "How will I be able to bring you to Athrun's office? You might kill each other on the way." Shinn sighed. "You guys need an anger management class."
"He started it!" Dearka shouted.
Yzak was ready to punch Dearka when suddenly…
"Stop" Shinn roared. They were silent for a few seconds until,
"Hi." The three looked back and saw the pink songstress.
"Please leave us Lacus, we have an anger-management class going on."
"But this can't wait Shinn. A cup of coffee wouldn't hurt. The vending machine is behind you guys." She looked at Shinn for a moment and then she added, "And stop being angry." Lacus walked past them and went directly to the vending machine.
Shinn raised his voice a little, "I'm not the one with anger issues, its Dearka and Yzak!"
Lacus walked back to them, taking a sip of coffee. "You know the first lesson in anger management is acceptance.
"I am not angry." Shinn said in a disturbingly calm voice.
"Yes, you are. Now repeat after me… I am angry."
"I am angry." There was a slight change in Shinn's voice. His earlier disturbingly calm voice laced with irritation.
Lacus glanced around, noticing both Dearka and Yzak looking bored as ever. "What are you waiting for? Christmas? I said repeat after me… I am angry."
The three men followed Lacus. "I am ang…"
But right at the middle of the statement, Lacus interrupted. "Why?"
Shinn took liberty of answering. "Why? I don't know. As I said, I'm not angry." He gritted between his teeth. At that particular moment, the words that came from Shinn's mouth didn't seem true.
--
"Lesson sixty-seven. Drink a cup of coffee everyday. It has anti-oxidants that fight free radicals in your body. Less free radicals means less anger."
Shinn smiled bitterly at Lacus. One could see that he would bust any moment now and was only trying to conceal it from the songstress. Lacus moved closer to Shinn and observed his face. She continued rambling on lesson sixty… right, sixty-seven.
"Maybe you have too much free radicals."
Shinn closed his eyes and clenched his fists in annoyance. He needed to calm down. Any unnecessary movement could cost his life. Who knows what Kira and Athrun would do to him?
--
"Lesson ninety-eight point eight. Meditate at least once a week…"
Shinn cringed. Really, how many were there?
"Oh! That reminds me; I made my haros meditate every week!" Lacus clasped her hands together. Her eyes glowing with excitement, as if something good was coming up.
Shinn waited for her to continue. He sighed. How long would his misery last?
"And guess what? Today's meditation day! You're really lucky Shinn! Now let's go and join them."
Lacus dragged him. And poor Shinn couldn't do anything but let himself be dragged by an overly-excited Lacus. Did God hated him that much? He couldn't believe how Yzak and Dearka's anger management turned out to be his worst nightmare.
--
What happened to Dearka and Yzak? They were still there the whole time, sprawled all over the cafeteria seats. Both of them gave up on Lesson fifty point seven.
"Hey Yzak? Why did we fight again?" Dearka asked.
Yzak shrugged in response.
Author's note: My dry attempt in humor. sigh Thanks for reading. Hahaha. :D Suggestions and Comments are always welcomed.