Disclaimer: Why must I write this worthless waste of words? Don't you all know that I don't own Zelda? Why must they constantly remind me? WHY???
Chapter One: The Kidnapping...Or NotZelda couldn't sleep.
She sighed and turned over in bed, staring out the window. As usual, it was a beautifully peaceful night in Hyrule, with winking stars and a milky-white moon. It cast drapes of silver through her windows that would have lulled any other beautiful, perfect, stereotypical princess to sleep.
But not Zelda.
Finally, she got up and put on her silk robe, tying the tasseled rope around her waist. She picked up the candleholder on her nightstand and lit the wick, then quietly slipped into the corridor.
It was silent but for the ticking of the clock. Every door was closed, and the darkness seemed to be holding its breath, knowing something she didn't. But of course, being the idiot she always was, Zelda didn't notice the night's sinister quality, and happily tiptoed down the stairs to the kitchen.
As she was pushing open the door, she heard voices inside. For the first time in her life she did something intelligent, and waited outside of it, listening to the whispered conversation.
"We could just sneak out this door," one voice said.
"But what if there isn't a gate out of the courtyard?" asked the other. Zelda could tell they were both male. "It was hard enough to stay here after visiting hours. We can't get caught now."
"We'll have to trust fate," the other one said firmly.
Unfortunately for them, and all of Hyrule, fate wasn't on their side. One factor stood in their way, and that was:
Zelda.
"Whatever you're doing, if it's gonna get you in trouble, you'd better stop, because I'm coming in!" Zelda sang out.
"Who was that?" one of the voices asked.
"How should I know?! I just know we're dead!"
Zelda turned the handle.
"Oh, Din, here she comes!"
"We're dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead!"
Zelda opened the door.
Two young men stood inside, holding a very heavy-looking sack between them.
"Uh, hi?" asked one.
"Are you servants?" Zelda asked.
"Uh...actually..."
"Yes!" the other exclaimed, nodding fervently. "We're servants."
The first young man had long white hair that was tied back in a ponytail, some escaped strands lying on his shoulders and forehead. Zelda studied him a moment. "Are you related to Impa?"
"Impa?" he asked.
"Oh, yeah! He's related to Impa!" the other guy supplied. He had chestnut-brown hair, with long bangs that could rival Lute's. The first guy shot him a death glare. The second man shrugged.
"Well, that's good," Zelda said, feeling relieved. "I'm Princess Zelda," she added, curtsying. "What's in that bag?"
"Bag?" the white-haired one asked. "What bag?"
"That bag," Zelda said, pointing at their sack.
"I don't see any bag," he replied, trying to hide it behind his back.
"This bag!" Zelda said triumphantly after yanking it out from behind him. Whatever was inside made a medley of clinking noises.
"Hush, please!" he begged. "We could get into a lot of trouble!"
"What did you do?" Zelda asked.
"Oh, uh, nothing! We didn't do anything!" the dark-haired man replied.
"So why are you worried?" Zelda asked.
"We're not. I mean, we are, but...please just be quiet!"
Zelda opened the bag and looked inside. "Why," she began, "do you have all our silver?" She reached inside and pulled something out. "And Daddy's scepter?"
"We were going to polish it!" he cried.
"Oh." Zelda looked at the scepter in her hand. "Can I help?"
The white-haired man smothered a laugh. "You want to help?"
"Yes. Why not?" Zelda asked, crossing her arms.
"One sec, okay?" the brown-haired one said. He dragged his companion aside. "I have an idea. She's the princess, right? She wants to come with us, right?"
His friend nodded, unsure of what to think.
"So if we kidnap her, we can ransom her, right? And then we'll be rich!"
The white-haired one looked at Zelda, who stood huffily holding the bag. "I don't know, Falen..."
"C'mon, it's perfect!" Falen urged.
"Well, if she'll be quiet, I guess."
"Great!" Falen turned to Zelda. "Of course, you can help us, princess. Right this way." He took the bag from her and they started out the kitchen door and into the dining hall.
"One second," the pale-haired one said. He grabbed a napkin off the table as they left.
"What's that for?" Falen asked.
"Ransom note."
"Ah."
As they found themselves in the Great Hall, the white-haired man took one of Daphnes' quills from the table beside his throne, which he used to sign proclamations. You see, there were many proclamations to sign. Hastily, he scribbled a note on the napkin and handed it to Falen. "Well?"
" 'We have kidnapped the Princess Zelda. If you wish to have her back, come to the Desert Colossus tomorrow night and we will discuss release agreements. If you comply with this request, the Princess will not be harmed. Signed, a friend.'" Falen read. "A friend?" he asked incredulously. "What kind of a friend kidnaps a guy's daughter, Quinn?"
"Whatever, just leave it, okay?" Quinn insisted.
"What's the holdup?" Zelda asked, looking impatient.
"I have a bad feeling about this," Falen said.
"Well, it was your idea. Live with it," Quinn said grumpily.
Link woke early that morning, yawning and stretching. He needed to find Zelda. He'd learned a really interesting move in his fencing practice, and wanted to show it to her. After unsuccessfully trying her room, the gardens, and the library (why she'd be in the library, he didn't know), he went down to the kitchen to make himself some breakfast. Unfortunately, he couldn't find a single butter knife to use to spread jam onto his toast. Sighing, he left the toast on the counter and headed for the throne room. To his surprise, he saw a written-upon napkin. Picking it up, he realized it was a note.
Excited, he read it, hoping for an adventure of some sort. When he was done, he almost keeled over in astonishment. Link read the note again, shocked that this could happen. When he'd regained his wits, he hurried to tell Daphnes.
"Zelda's been kidnapped!" he cried, trying to sound important.
"Sure she has," Daphnes replied, not looking up from his paperwork.
"No, really! Look at this note!" Link handed the King the ransom note. Daphnes read it, then he furiously grabbed Link by the collar.
"Why didn't you stop them?" he demanded.
"I found the note in the Great Hall!" Link threw back in self-defense. "How was I supposed to know?!"
"Well, what should we do?" Daphnes asked, letting go of him.
"I don't know," Link shrugged.
"You're the Hero of Time! You should know!"
"Okay, okay, I got it!" Link said after a moment's thought.
"What?" Daphnes said, sounding eager.
Link stuck out his chest impressively. "Call Lute."
"Lute?" Daphnes asked. "Why him?"
"Because I have absolutely no idea what to do," Link replied nonchalantly.
"Sounds good to me," Daphnes said. "Impa!"
Fifteen minutes later, a messenger was headed to Xenos on Aranel's back.
A/N: And they're off! Let's see what happens, shall we? Remember, no cursing in your reviews, please! Even mild cursing, or words that aren't considered "all that bad", 'kay? I'd really appreciate it!