Matsukaze Tenma sat on the floor, holding a sweatshirt, smelling so familiar. He didn't clearly remember why he was doing this, or what just happened. He was fine one second, not knowing a thing in the world. Seconds later, he was on the floor, crying.
He never thought that they would have a last kiss.
He would never hear Tsurugi whisper those words, just for the two of them, ever again. He would never feel the beating of heart on heart as they lay together, smiling and laughing as they watched a movie, or how Tsurugi would narrow his eyes, until Tenma would attempt to sweep him up and dance. The smell of the rain as Tsurugi and Tenma sat on the porch, laughing and talking, and then their lips met, so suddenly, as if it were magic- he would never feel that bubbling feeling inside him again. Tenma would never be able to admire the way Tsurugi walked with his hands in his pockets, or the way he would chuckle at Tenma's lame jokes.
It was something unexpected, it was all an accident.
He was saying goodbye, they were happy, they were smiling.
Then he left.
Tsurugi Kyousuke- he was gone.
Tenma's heart was ripped to shreds, ripped to small pieces.
The last thing he heard- that was the worst and best thing he could ever leave with.
"I love you."
Why did he go?
Why did he have to leave?
This change, it was unlike the change in weather, or a change in time. It was a change that could kill, with a sharp, piercing pain in your chest, something that tore you apart from piece to piece, to put you back together and hurt you all over again every time you think of it.
Tenma could still feel his arms around him, the beating of his heart through his shirt, the steady rising and falling of his chest as he said goodbye. Tenma could never imagine that their story would end like this.
He could still remember his laughter, the way that he would kiss him while they were fighting, when he had dinner with him and Aki, and the way that he would pull him into a hug after every goal.
Tsurugi Kyousuke.
Those words still echoed in Tenma's mouth, as if they were etched on them.
He missed him.
The pictures on the ground, those were the worst. They were happy, beating with laughter. Tenma would watch the pictures, keeping the images in his head.
He would think,
Tsurugi, I miss you. How are you up there in Heaven? That driver who hit you was charged with reckless driving, so I hope you're at peace up there. Do you miss me? Don't forget me, okay? Just a few more years, I'll meet you again. I hope the sun up there is bright, and that you're never cold. I know you hate the cold. I'll be fine done here- I have your sweater, it really smells like you. I love you.