Title - The things we do for love.
Rating – PG
Characters/Pairings – Robin/Much, Robin/Carter.
Summary – Robin has feelings for Carter but doesn't want to act on them in order to protect Much.
Warnings - Mentions to events in 'Get Carter' S2.
A/N – I guess technically this is an AU. Set after S2s 'Get Carter'. Carter doesn't return to the Holy Land. De Nile!! Split into parts because of length.
Robin rolled onto his side and propped himself up on an elbow, looking at Much questioningly. Much was lying on his back, head cushioned on his hands behind his head, eyes closed, although he wasn't asleep. Having sensed Robin moving, he gave a little sigh, but didn't move himself. Robin pursed his lips, pondering on his unspoken question and upturned his hand so he could half lie while still looking at Much.
"What is it?" Much asked him, still not opening his eyes, but perfectly aware Robin was musing and looking at him.
Robin didn't answer straight away but a slight smile perked at the side of his mouth, and he slid his freehand over Much's chest, lying it there and feeling the other mans heartbeat gently beating under his palm.
"Master?" Much still didn't move or open his eyes, sensing whatever it was wasn't urgent, else Robin would already be talking.
"What do you think of Carter?" Robin asked him, and sensed the heartbeat pick up just a little. He wondered whether that was a good or bad sign.
"What about him?" asked Much trying to sound nonchalant, at the same time head whirring at the question, wondering why Robin wanted to know.
"I just want to know what you think of him." Robin replied in answer.
"What I think of him?" Much repeated, finally opening his eyes and looking up at Robin questioningly.
"Yes Much, it isn't that hard a question." Robin said slightly irritated, before brushing his thumb over Much's chest. "I just want to know, you know, if you, like him."
"Well, I suppose in the grand scheme of things, he has proved himself. Proved he's on our side, so I suppose I don't dislike him." Much replied.
It didn't seem to be enough of one for Robin though, who continued with his quest for answers.
"So you don't dislike him, but you don't like him." Robin pressed.
"I don't know him." Much said with a sigh, and closed his eyes. "I'm sure he's a, likable, individual once you get to know him."
"Everyone else seems to like him." Robin stilled his hand on Much's chest again and took a good look at the man, as he spoke. "And he's been with us long enough now for you to have gotten to know him better."
Much could sense eyes boring into him, "Master, what are you getting at?"
"Nothing." Robin said, trying to defend himself. "It's just, everyone else is being civil around him, and you seem to be holding him at arms length."
"Are you saying I'm not civil?" Much asked, a little offended and opening his eyes again to glare softly at Robin.
"No, I'm not, it's just," Robin wasn't sure what he was trying to get at, he certainly wasn't accusing Much of anything. "The others," he started, before trailing off.
"Like him, yes you've said. I suppose the fact that he tried to kill you, threatened all of us doesn't put them out of ease as much as one would think."
"He explained himself." Robin argued gently at that point.
"Yes, demons and all of that, I know I was there when he said, remember. Still, things could have turned out quite different, and then where would we all be? Well I know where you'd be, although I'm not sure I'd much enjoy visiting Nottingham and seeing your head on a stake at the entrance of the gates."
"Much!" Robin chided him before softening his tone. "That's all in the past. All went well, we are all safe."
"Yes, we are." Much replied, patting Robin's' hand gently where it lay on his chest. "Still, forgive me for not opening my arms welcomely to the man who tried to take you away from all of us."
"He is sorry for what he did." Robin seemed intent on clearing Carter's' name to Much, evidently having forgiven the man for what he'd done.
They fell silent, Much closed his eyes again, thinking over things. He couldn't forgive as easily as Robin, although he doubted it would take much longer. Carter reminded him a lot of Robin in certain ways, unspoken ways, the way he acted and spoke sometimes. He was capable of making anyone at ease around him, he could be light hearted and joined in the fun and banter within the group. There was a glint in his eye, which could be unnerving a little because it was part of that spontaneous streak that meant you weren't sure what he would try next. Yet he had his demons, another familiarity, with Robin and himself, that darkness hidden behind the facade, the lost part of the soul stolen by war and fighting and the spilling of foreign blood.
"Do you like him?" Much asked, although he already knew the answer. Being so alike, Carter and Robin seemed to get on like old friends, Robin seemed to have forgotten the entire 'Carter trying to kill him' escapade.
"Yes." was Robin's quiet reply, he sounded wistful and Much opened his eyes again, catching a look cross Robin's eyes, one which he'd seen many times since Carter had joined them. Often aimed at Carter when he wasn't looking, and when he thought Much wasn't watching or nearby. It disappeared when Robin realized Much had opened his eyes yet again, and felt fingers entwining into his. Giving a smirk he brushed the moment aside, but frowned when Much didn't let up on the searching look he was being given. "What?" he asked with a slight shrug of his shoulders.
"Whats this all about?" Much inquired, wanting answers for himself.
"Whats what all about?" Robin tried to seem innocent about his inquiries, but Much wasn't easily evaded.
"All this questioning about Carter."
"Nothing, I was just curious." Robin replied.
"Have you asked the others if they like him?"
Robin paused, before dropping his eyes and staring at a patch of ground between them. "No." He lifted his head again and grasped at straws. "I don't need to ask them, I know they like him, that much is obvious." In truth it didn't matter as much how much they liked Carter, as it did how much Much liked him.
"Am I so hard to read?" Much asked, a little put out that Robin thought it necessary to question him like this.
"No, it's not like that Much." Robin tried to back pedal, reminding himself that he'd thought this a bad idea from the start. A voice in his head had told him not to broach the subject, because it really hadn't gone the way he wanted it. "I just wanted to know how you feel about him, that all. It's important to me to know what, you, think of him."
"Why?"
"Just because."
They fell silent again, although 'Just because' seemed a weak excuse to end the conversation.
"Because why?" Much asked and Robin pulled his hand away with an irritated groan.
"It's nothing Much, never mind." he said and turned onto his back lying down.
An uncomfortable silence set in this time, Robin irritated at the way the conversation had gone, chiding himself that he wasn't really sure what he was trying to say or how to say it. Much lay confused as to why Robin was irritated and why it all had something to do with Carter.
"Much?" Robin said softly.
"Mhmm?" Much asked, having started to doze as the silence stretched out,giving up on trying to think of something to say.
Another hasty silence, as Robin paused, before saying, "Nothing." He didn't shift as Much rolled onto his side and looked at him.
"Robin?" Much said gently, "What is it?"
Robin turned his head and looked at him, before trying to veil whatever truths Much was garnering from his face and behavior, behind a smile.
"Nothing, lets try and get some sleep." with that he turned his head again, sliding a hand behind his head and closed his eyes.
He didn't sense Much turn away, but didn't dare turn to see if he had closed his eyes or not. Knowing Much, he was probably still there watching him. When it came to Much, he could be easily read, and so he was on his guard to watch his actions. Instead he took in a few shallow breaths and tried to urge on sleep. Luck, as it happened, wasn't on his side.
"Has something happened?" Much asked him after a few moments of lying quietly.
Robin didn't answer, he wasn't quite sure how to. He felt a hand lay on his chest reassuringly.
"Has something happened between you and Carter?" Much pressed again.
"No." Robin replied, rather hurriedly, although it was the truth, in a manner of speaking. "Not exactly." he added slowly, frowning at himself for the words. He could feel the tension instantly in Much's hand, sidling up his arm and into his body.
"Oh." was all Much could say, sounding a little surprised, a little more intrigued and a whole lot of confused. Figuring Robin wasn't going to elaborate and suddenly finding himself with a head full of questions he'd prefer not to know the answers to. Much removed his hand, hugged it to his body and closed his eyes, willing himself to sleep so he wouldn't find himself asking them. His mouth had a tendency of running away with itself sometimes and he didn't trust himself to take the conversation further.
Robin gave in trying to fall asleep and rolled onto his side, a hand sliding up Much's arm, the body tense under his touch.
"Much nothing has happened, as such." He practically bit his tongue, he was not helping himself by adding such words as 'not exactly' and 'as such'. Merely digging himself a deeper hole he was going to have trouble climbing out of.
It was true he liked Carter, in fact he and Carter got on like friends who had known each other since childhood, much like himself and Much. It was the fact that feelings went a little deeper than that, the fact that Carter looked at him in a certain way, a way that he was aware of only one other person who looked at him like that, and that was Much. He also knew he cast that look at Carter sometimes, then felt guilty for it because of Much. He found himself fighting the urge to raise a hand to gently touch Carter's face when they shared a joke, a similar urge he indulged in when it came to Much, whether they shared a joke or a mere tender moment. Robin wasn't entirely sure how he felt about it all, guilt laced with frustration on the most part. Guilty that he felt those things, frustrated that he wanted to act on them. He was also afraid, that he would lose himself in an unexpected moment, that he could lose Much in the process of it.
Weeks had passed by since Carter had joined them, and increasingly he found when they were alone, they both walked on eggshells, both aware of how they felt, not wanting their friendship, their companionship to be affected by it. Carter seemed well aware what the consequences of their actions could be, both good and bad, and part of it all came down to protecting the gang as a whole, and Much on a deeper personal level. When it came down to the basics of everything around them, Robin couldn't operate without Much. It was a mere unspoken, yet obvious, well known fact.
"Not yet."
Robin was drawn from his thoughts by Much's voice, having missed whatever he'd been saying, he frowned and looked at him. "What?"
"I said, 'Not yet'." Much replied gently, almost whispering. It took Robin a few seconds to catch up and remember what he himself has said. 'Nothing has happened.' He felt that familiar ripple of guilt rising in him, and tried to suppress it, shifting his eyes, but Much didn't seem angry, or hurt despite where the conversation seemed to be heading.
"No." Robin said firmly, a slight shake of the head. "And nothing is going to happen."
"But you'd like, something, to happen." Much probed gently, because although it could become a painful road to travel down, it also pained him to see Robin unhappy.
Robin felt uncomfortable, he shouldn't be feeling how he felt. He certainly shouldn't be having this conversation with Much of all people. But he found himself nodding his head slightly and felt that hint of guilt growing inside him like some poisoned streak. He mentally fought it away with a deep breath, and felt fingers tracing his jaw, and he shifted his gaze to look at Much who was looking at him intently, arm extended to pass on the caress.
"I'm sorry Much." he said, feeling it necessary to say the words.
"You haven't done anything." Much replied, brushing the apology aside.
"Yes well, still," started Robin, a little unsure as to why things were still so calm.
"You can't help how you feel." Much said, before pausing and giving him an intense glare. "Do you feel any less for me?" he asked firmly.
"'Course not." exclaimed Robin, a little offended he had to be asked, but understanding why he was asking.
"Well then," Much started, "I suppose I can take some comfort in that at least."
Robin reached up and took the hand that was touching his face and held it tightly.
"Nothing is going to happen." he said, although he felt a small pang of regret at the thought of it. But some sacrifices had to be made, and he knew Carter understood that.
There was a slight smile hinting on the edge of Much's lips. He took it as a sign of relief, and brushed his lips along the knuckles of his hand as he held it close to his mouth.
"And how long do you two think you can continue on, without 'anything' happening?" Much asked him nonchalantly.
Robin had been looking at the hand that held his as he kissed it softly a moment and looked up with slight surprise.
"Well," he said a little taken a back at the turn of conversation. "We're grown men, I'm sure we'll figure something out. We've made it work so far."
Much raised a brow and the smile a the edge of his lips was starting to grow. "Yes, well. I give it a few more weeks before one of you cracks. My bets are on Carter first."
Robin was still a little confused Much was taking this so well, and that he seemed to be suggesting he couldn't be 'adult' about the whole mess, or that Carter wouldn't be capable of acting as an 'adult' either. "Why Carter?" he was curious why Carter would be assumed to 'crack' first.
"Carter doesn't have anyone, and I'm not in any way bragging here, but you have me. That's why you've refrained from doing anything so far. Carter doesn't have that, so I would assume, he would be the first to try something. In fact I'm rather surprised he hasn't cracked yet, personally I've always found you slightly irresistible. Perhaps I should like him more, for having so much self restraint."