Experiment
By Ms, Kinnikufan
Disclaimer: Ultimate Muscle/Kinnikuman Nisei is not owned by me.
Mantaro gulped. He was dreading having this conversation with his father. Dreading it so very much.
But today was the day it had to be done.
Mantaro approached his father. He was in his library. (In reality, the library was really just a collection of several Kinniku king's nude photograph books.) His father was alone. That made Mantaro really glad, because he really, really, didn't want to have this conversation with his mother in the room.
"Ummmm father. You know I'm getting the age when I-"
"Oh son, I know what you're asking. I''d really thought you would stop believing that 'stork' nonsense earlier. Well anyway, when a man and a woman love each other..."
"GOD! Dad I already know that stuff. Oh God, how I know that stuff! It hunts me night and day! Well what I'm trying to say. I'm. well err, I'm getting at the age when I think a lot about ...experimenting. Dad you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but if you, PLEASE, PLEASE, leave out any detail that is is in your mind. Did you, you know ever...experiment with your close guy friends?"
Suguru Kinniku grew unusually quiet and somber.
"Son my first experiment happened on a hot, almost romantic night. Me and Meat were sleeping at Terryman's house because had had air conditioning. After making sure Meat was asleep., he took 'it out and asked-"
"DAD! I said no details!" Mantaro had never looked or felt so utterly horrified in his life.
Feeling the need to be honest with his son (despite the horrified look on his face) Suguru went on.
"I experimented with Terryman a few more times. Then Ramenman appeared. After we became friends, he invited me to 'experiment'. God, had had the biggest 'pipe' I ever saw." Suguru mentioned almost nostalgically.
Mantaro almost fainted.
"From that point, I experimented with Ramenman and Terryman exclusively. Then Warsman turned to the side of good. I decided to be friendly and invited him to 'experiment'. Man, he was absolutely great at experimenting. Then Robin found out and he threw an absolute hissy-fit that we were experimenting with his one time student. So of course, we then invited him to experiment too."
"Dad...didn't Robin Mask's wife get angry that her husband was experimenting with guys?'
"She didn't mind as long as he only didn't once in a while, and was very safe when he experimented. Once she even joined us!"
Mantaro suddenly found himself wishing a nice mindless coma.
"I can't remember much about my experiments until after Akuma Shogun was defeated. Afterward we all got into a big group and we all experimented together. Man was that an orgy of..."
OH SWEET GOD! Stop! Stop Telling Me Horrible And Sick Things!" Mantaro covered his ears and screamed loudly.
"Well anyway, I stopped experimenting after I married your mother. Sometimes I miss it though. Experimenting brought us all closer together...Son?" Suguru somehow did not notice Mantaro running from the room, screaming and flailing his arms about wildly.
My dad is a slut! My dad is a slut! Mantaro thought as he curled into the fetal position.
Binibida entered the "library".
"Honey, Mantaro just ran passed me. He looked incredibly traumatized and he was mumbling about 'how he can't believe you did that with your friends'. What were you talking about?"
"Well, as know sweetie. Mantaro told me he often thought about 'experimenting' with his friends. So we had a frank and candid discussion about my own drug experiments with my fellow justice chojin."
Binibida had a huge sweatdrop on her face.
"Honey, I don't think that's what he was asking about. Or what he thought you were talking about..."