Hey there. So this is my new drabble series. All of which shall be humorous... or at least I hope so. Enjoy.
WELL-BENDING
How do I get myself into these messes?
This was the single thought that ran through Prince Zuko's head. The thought ran through his head on many occasions. Such instances included when he had to suffer through his Uncle's obsessions such as tea and paisho. These were more humorous occasions that at the time were ultimately unbearable, but upon reflection could be told as an amusing anecdote for later circumstances. There were also instances of ultimate pain. Times when he battled others for the same goal, times he had faced off with Zhao or Azula. There were also the times of deep self-loathing when he would think of the Agni Kai and the day he was banished. How did he get himself into those messes?
But today was a particularly uncomfortable day. For in the middle of the night while he roamed across the Earth Kingdom in search of his ultimate prize, he had grown thirsty and in his pursuit of water he had stumbled across a well. But what he had not realized was that he had also stumbled across a prepubescent, blind earthbender with a terrible paranoia who had managed to cause both of them to fall into the well.
And so, now Zuko was trapped, in a dark and incredibly wet well, with a blind and angry earthbender, who did not even have the ability to raise a chunk of earth and get them out of there, for she could not bend earth that she could not feel and the water in the well distorted her senses.
The water was several feet deep so that Zuko was soaked to his chest and the earthbender to her neck, for she was terribly short—an insult Zuko stowed away for later usage.
"This is your fault," the demonic earthbender proclaimed proudly.
"MY FAULT!" Zuko yelled. "How is it MY fault? You knocked us down here!"
"You snuck up on me, you clumsy oaf," she replied.
"And how was I supposed to know that I'd meet the worst earthbender in existence on this suck-ass night?" Zuko countered vehemently.
"I am NOT the worst earthbender in existence; I'm the BEST!"
"Could have fooled me," Zuko muttered. "Who the hell are you anyway?"
"I'm Toph Bei Fong, and any fool with brains knows better to mess with a Bei Fong. Not unless you want us to sue your ass to the Spirit World and back," she said.
"Well, Toph, even a privileged little Earth Kingdom girl like you, ought to know not to piss off Fire Nation royalty. I'm Prince Zuko," he said. It was a battle of rank.
"Prince? Ha! You've been banished. You're a traitor, a fugitive. I know my history, Princey."
Zuko frowned so unpleasantly that Toph could surely have known it despite her blindness. "Yeah, well you better figured out a way out of here or you'll end up a pile of ash," he threatened, wondering if threats would have any effect on such a proud girl.
"Ha! I've got to figure a way out of here?" she repeated incredulously. "You really don't know who you're dealing with. I suggest you start thinking of a way out."
"And what can a short little girl who can't bend in the water do to threaten me?" Zuko mocked.
With amazing force, Toph slapped Zuko. The sound echoed magnificently in the cramped well. Zuko sputtered with rage, rubbing at the bright red handprint that materialized just below his scar. Zuko lunged at her, but she could sense the disruption in the water and leaned out of the way so that he crashed into the stone wall of the well.
Toph turned to glare at him harshly. "I am the Avatar's earthbending teacher. I am traveling with some real master warriors. They will come looking for me. They told me about you and how you've been chasing them around the world. You'd better hope that you aren't nearby when they find me."
Zuko swallowed hard. He would never say it out loud but she was right. If she was the Avatar's earthbending teacher then she was probably a master who could destroy him in a matter of seconds. The Avatar himself had completely mastered airbending and was certainly close to mastering waterbending. And if he was beginning earthbending he had a magnificent advantage. Then there were the Water Tribe siblings. That girl, Ka-something or other. She was a master, and her brother despite his rudimentary warrior skills certainly wouldn't give Zuko an advantage. He didn't have any back up. He had abandoned his Uncle a long time ago and his crew had been taken from him even earlier.
It was a fight he could not win. He regarded Toph coldly. "I have no idea how we could possibly get out of here without any help. And you certainly don't seem to be able to bend."
"I could if it weren't for the water. It makes the earth all squishy and I can't see it," she said, her tone much softer now.
"Well, you're blind, aren't you?" Zuko said.
"Idiot," she muttered.
"What was that?"
"Nothing," she replied sweetly. "You see I may be blind, but I can still see."
"And that works how exactly?"
"I can feel the earth around me if it's good and solid. I can tell where things are, if people are coming, what they're doing. But this sandy crap down here is all loose and everything is fuzzy," she said.
Zuko nodded, then remembered she was blind and said, "Oh."
Toph rolled her eyes. "Oh, that's all you have to say," she mocked. "Oh?"
"Yeah pretty much," Zuko said smugly, realizing that it infuriated her that he expressed no wonder at her abilities. In truth, he thought it was absolutely amazing.
"Bastard," Toph muttered under her breath, but this time, Zuko caught what she had said.
"Spoiled little midget," he replied.
"Hey, I'm twelve. I'm gonna grow," Toph said indignantly.
"Not fast enough," Zuko said. "Let me guess, you didn't eat your veggies, stunted your growth?"
"Why you—"
"Bastard? Yes, you're running out of insults, Princess."
"Princess?" she echoed.
"Well you seem to think you're royalty," he replied. "Me, I know I'm royalty."
"Then where are your loyal servants, Your Majesty. Why don't you call one of them to get us out of his damned hell-hole?" she mocked ruthlessly. It was unkind, but she reasoned he deserved it.
It took almost all of Zuko's self-control not to want to burn her to a crisp at that very moment. He ignored her. He had no comeback.
"That's right. You aren't better than me," Toph said. "So quit acting like it."
No one would know what Zuko might have done at that moment. He might have gone and said something nasty about her family. He might have chosen to stop controlling himself and burn her to ashes already. He might have paused to give her an emotional speech about his past. Or he might have continued to do absolutely nothing.
There is no use dwelling on what might have happened for there is something that did happen. After Toph's latest and most cruel insult, the two benders heard a curious sound floating down the well shaft. It sounded like the stringed tunes of a well-played pipa, accompanied by a flute and various other instruments. And the two of them swore they could hear a man singing, "Secret tunnel, secret tunnel, secret, secret, secret, secret tunnel!"
Toph and Zuko, forgetting the irrational tension between them joined together to shout as loudly as possible to the tunnel singing, instrument playing people that were obviously walking somewhere near their miserable little well. "HEY DOWN HERE!"
Up on the surface, a man who carried the pipa and had been singing his tunnel song stopped in his tracks and stared at the ordinary well before him. "Oh magic well spirits, do not harm me for I am an innocent traveler," the man said, bowing down before the well.
"We're not well spirits, you idiot! Look in the well!" Toph shouted.
"Oh, yes insult the people who are going to save us," Zuko snarled at her.
The man on the surface poked his head over the well and stared down at the two very wet people at the bottom. "Oh look, well people," he said grinning.
"We aren't well people," Toph said bitterly.
"Can you get us out of here," Zuko interrupted.
"Oh yeah sure," the man said.
He stared at them for a long time.
"Well are you helping us out of here or not?" Zuko asked impatiently.
"Well there's a problem," the man said.
"What do you mean there's a problem?" Toph shrieked.
"I don't have any rope," the man replied.
"Why the hell not?"
The man shrugged. "I never needed any before. You bet I'm gonna start carrying some now though since well people want help out of their wells and such."
"WE'RE NOT WELL PEOPLE?" Toph exploded.
"Do you have anything else that could help us up?" Zuko interrupted again, hoping to all the gods that Toph's behavior would not drive their one chance at salvation away.
The man frowned in thought for a moment and then smiled. "I do."
"Excellent," Zuko said. "What is it?"
"I'll lower down the bucket here," he said pointing to said wooden container that dangled above them. "It's on a rope. You can grab on and I'll hoist you out."
It seemed to take an immeasurably long time for the pipa man to lower his bucket and drag them out. All the while, Toph complained like the harpies that Zuko had been told about in stories. But at last, Zuko was on solid earth again and he could start to feel dry in the now rising sun.
He and Toph regarded each other for a moment. She grinned and then burst out laughing.
"What?" Zuko asked.
"You better get the hell out of here, Princess."
"You're a terrible person," Zuko replied and then trudged away. He wanted to get dry again. He wanted to eat something. And he didn't want to see water, minstrels, and especially not earthbenders for a good long time.