The moments that define us - Dean Winchester

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Chapter 1- Prologue- The future

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For you American readers, Im slightly behind in the newest series sooo im pretty much ignoring the series because I prefer to write my own stuff rather than put my characters in situations that readers have aready seen, though some, like Jo and Ellens deprture and the more important events to do with the angels and Luifer etc will be.

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Her head was pounding, her whole body throbbing painfully, she could barely draw in a rasping breath and thck smoke stung and watered her eyes.

The misty air was dense and strangely sharp, drifting towards her and peircing her body with tiny pinpricks of pain as if thousands of needles were entering her skin at once.

The shackles on her wrist and ankles seared her skin, leaving bubbling blisters and scars and the chains attached meant that she could barely move a muscle or change position, she was standing flat against a rough wall that scratched and scraped through her clothes, each arm was shackled at shoulder height and she sometimes thought that she was placed as if on a crucifix as a taunt. The air around her was dense and thick and the once beautiful Earth on which she still remained was now a burning, barron, charred abyss infested with evil of all kinds that she had once dedicated her life to destroying.

She couldn't remember how long she had been here, maybe it was days, months, maybe it was years, she had no idea. She didn't really know much of anything, there was no daylight, no warm sunlight, so time was meaningless, there was no conversation, no noise other than the crackling of flames and the distant screams of innocent humans being ripped and pulled apart, and no other life that she saw other than that of demons. She probably wouldn't even remember her own name if he didnt say it everytime came to inflict just a little more pain on her.

All she really knew, all she was really sure of was that Sam was dead. Castiel was dead. Bobby was dead. Everyone she loved was dead. And Dean was lost, broken, pushed to the edge by the death of his brother with no means of any deal to bring him back, Dean had dissapeared, and she sometimes, in the worst nights and days feared he was dead. It was far too late for Sam, Cas and Bobby, her freinds, but maybe if Dean was still alive, which she hoped and prayed that he was, though she knew that praying meant nothing now that heaven had been defeated by Lucifers army, she could save his soul, make him Dean again, make him...

She heard a new sound, one that was so familliar, heavy booted footsteps that could only mean one thing, he was back.

She didnt know her torturers name, and his vessell changed almost everytime he came, though always male, as did the instrument of torture that he chose to use. The heavy metal door infront of her, she had no idea were she was, maybe a factory of some kind, opened inwards as it always did and she felt her body tense in anticipation of unbearable pain, as it always did. He came into the room, this time he was a stocky blonde man with and innocent cherub face, if his eyes werent their usual coal black she could almost mistake him for something good on this destroyed Earth.

His grin was its usual sardonic smirk of malice that could turn even the most beautiful of vessells repulsive.

"How are we today?" he asked, his voice the same gravely rasp as it was in every body he had ever possessed, he was the only demon that she knew of that could keep the same voice in a different body, though she knew this information meant nothing in her current predicament.

She didnt answer, she never did, she barely even acknowledged him anymore but for a flicker of her bruised eyes towards him. He laughed and said "I have something for you" as the chains that bound her loosened marginally, pulling and ripping at the seered skin beneath, she gasped at the pain then they finally came all the way off ripping the skin completely, the floor was hard as she landed with a thud and cry of pain, the gravely surface scraped her palms as she scrambled onto her knees. This was the first time he had ever taken off the chains, maybe he was letting her go? she highly doubted it, perhaps today he would finally kill her.

"Nikki?" her eyes widened, this was another voice she would recognise anywhere, under any circumstances, it was a voice that spoke to her in all her dreams when she dozed fitfully inbetween torture sessions, the voice that whispered in her mind throughout the pain and abuse that everything would be okay, that he would come for her, save her. The voice that kept her alive, not physically, but mentally over the time she had been here.

"Dean?" she whispered in a broken pathetic voice, hardly daring to beleive that this was real for the fear that she would suddenly wake up to the burning pain of a hot poker on her stomach or ther surroundings would suddenly dissolve away and she would find herself once again chained up with the gloating cherub faced demon mocking her for daring to believe something good could actually happen. She watched hopefully as three dark figured struggled into the room, the one in front restrained by the two behind and fighting fitfully, "Get off me dammit! I got it!" the other two threw him roughly to the ground in front of her and he mumbled his usual string of curses as he too scrambled onto his knees, ripping his worn blue jeans as the gravelly surface below them scattered and rattled.

"Is it really you?" she asked, reaching a burnt and bloodied hand towards him.

"Yeah its me, God what did they do to you?" He asked, his voice full of anger as it had been so many times in the past, he pulled her towards him in a tight embrace and stroked a hand down her knotted hair, placing a chaste kiss to her chapped lips as he pulled back, a kiss she had longed to feel again for so long that now it hardly felt real.

"Its okay now," he whispered exactly how she had dreamed he would every night, she felt tears prick at her eyes and croaked, "They told me you were lost, that you were one of them, then they said you were dead, I didnt know what to beleive, I thought I had lost you."

"Shhhhh, Its okay, they lie, thats what they do, I'm okay, we're okay, we're getting out of here"

"What? How?" she asked as he ever so gently thumbed tears from her cheeks, her eyes shot to the body that her captor inhabitted, the face was expressionless, the eyes blank, of course they would be when fully black, but he held no hint of a lie or betrayal, she looked back to the eyes of the man she loved and trusted with her life and repeated "How?"

"I made a deal," he began and as her eyes widened and her breath hitched, he hastily continued with "Nothing like that, no hell, no one year to live thing."

He gently took hold of her upper arms and they both rose to their feet, Dean strong and steady as she always remembered him to be, Nikki shaking, flinching as her entrie weight was transferred to her poor battered feet. Dean flinched too at the sight of her pain and ran a gentle hand down her blood and tear stained cheek, she felt her lips pull at the side in a ghost of a smile, a mere shadow of what it had once been, infact she had forgotten what it was like to smile or feel any emotion that made her want to do so until now, she couldnt help it, she would be free. Free to run away. To be with Dean, maybe eventually rejoin the fight to take back Earth, if such a fight existed.

"Dean? Are you crying? What's wrong?" she asked wiping the wetness from his eyes in much the same fashion as he had to her just minutes ago, he swallowed and bit his lip, suddenly not as strong and confident, this was the Dean it broke her heart to see, broken, sad, weak Dean, guilty and lonley, he bit his lip before whispering in a barely audible voice in her ear as he pulled her close once again "Please forgive me Nikki"

She frowned, which hurt her still pounding head and said "What...?", her voice croaked to a stop, her eyes widened in pain and shock as the knife plunged deep into her scarred and burnt stomach, the pain was almost unbearable, it would have been if she wasn't so used to bearing torture and abuse. The hurt spread upwards and downwards and over her whole body, until everywhere ached worse than it ever had before, warm wet blood gushed over her hand that she hadn't realised she had pressed to the wound until now, she lifted her head to Dean who had stepped back and dropped the bloody knife to the floor as it he were allergic , her face was a picture of shock, sadness and betrayal, "Dean?" she said, he didnt react, maybe she had said it in her head, How could he? She didnt understand, Dean loved her, she knew that he always had, How could he do this? How could he hurt her, these questions meant nothing to her though, what scared and hurt her the most, more than not knowing answers, more than the physical pain of all her time down here before this and what she felt now was the knowledge that Dean was truly lost, she was all he had left in this ruined world and he had just taken it, he was not Dean anymore.

She took a step forward, not sure of what she intended to do, maybe she wanted to hurt Dean, her hunter instincts returning, or maybe she was just so pathetic that even thouugh he had killed her she just wanted to feel his arms around her one more time, she had no idea, her head was spinning and tunring and she felt sick and dizzy and... her wobbling legs gave out and she crashed forward into Deans solid frame, his arms wrapped around her like they had so many times in the past, in the thrawls of ecstacy in moments when the need to comfort or be comforted took over everything else, or even if he had had to hold her back from attacking Sam or Castiel, which had happened often enough.

Her vision left her, everything went black and she vaguely wondered if there was still a heaven somewhere, if so would she go there? Or woud she just go deeper into hell to suffer at the hands of more evil creatures that the formers, but this time with Deans betrayal hanging over her head and breaking her heart and mind as well as body, this time with nothing to keep her going.

"Im sorry, Im so sorry, Im sorry" she thought she heard Dean mumbling over and over, but his voice was drifting away, everything was muffled and echoing until she could no longer hear any sound at all.

She knew she was dying.

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So This is the future of course, the story will go back to the past now and lead up to these events.

Let me know what you thought, complimeants, improvements corrections, anything really

thanks alot, please reveiw so I can make it better or just to tell me if you like dit at all. Thanksd for rerading =]]]]

Discalimer: No owning of Winchesters Im afraid. However if I did.....