28. The Wall.
The Wall was something they never truly spoke of. The main reasons were that Prussia never wanted to, and Austria - respecting the man's privacy - never asked. But Austria thought of it from time to time, especially right after the unification and the fall of The Wall.
He still remembered the feelings when he and many others waited for Prussia to crawl over the ruins. He remembered the joy, longing, anxiousness and the bit of fear for what kind of a shell of a human Prussia would be after those long, long years with Russia - a former Soviet. Then they saw him and everyone was surprised.
There Prussia was, a bit thinner, yes, but not a trembling mess and fearful like some of the other Satellite states. Prussia was clearly happy to see all of his old friends, his little brother (whom he ran to hug immediately when got to the Western side) but his face flashed into the brightest smile when he saw Austria - and right after that a little bit of sadness... Did Austria spot a hint of guilt in there too? Then Prussia hurried to hug him too, inhaling his lover's scent. Austria shrugged the previous look off and welcomed the man back with warmth.
He hadn't thought about it in ten whole years, exept for now. Today was an exception.
Austria didn't know what to think when he found the little chest, while cleaning of course - he wasn't the type to sniff on other people's belongings, especially Prussia's since the man was so strict about the stuff he didn't want anyone to see.
He was simply taking some of his belongings to the basement, because you'd never know when you are going to need them. And when he was moving some boxes and other things that could belong in a museum, the chest fell.
Austria nearly shrieked because of the racket the little chest made when falling to the stone floor. He glared at the chest like it was its fault. When he got his hand off the stuff he was moving, he crouched beside the chest, indenting to only clean up the mess and put the chest in its proper place...until something caught his eye. He picked up a few of the old envelopes that had fallen from the now open chest.
Roderich Edelstein... He read in his mind and squinted because the next few lines of the text were smudged. Still he could be was certain it was his address. "What in the world... I've never seen this before... And it hasn't even been opened," he mumbled his thoughts out loud as he flicked through the other unopened envelopes.
Roderich Edelstein... Roderich Edelstein... Roderich Edelstein... Roderich Edelstein... Roderich Edelstein... Roderich Edelstein... Roderich Edelstein... Roderich Edelstein... Roderich Edelstein...
He scanned at least dozens of unopened envelopes, each of them bearing his name and at times smudged, sometimes clear, address. With every envelope he got more and more confused. He had already sat onto the cold floor a moment ago and started thinking. He thought about Prussia being away, at least for a few more days since the man never grew tired of visiting his younger brother. That's why Austria started cleaning in the first place. He considered for a few moments more until picking the first letter that had caught his eye and ripping it open.
"Dear Roderich", the letter started and Austria's eyes widened when he recognised Prussia's handwriting.
"How have you been? That's the most common phrase you can EVER start a letter with, so I'm not going to use that. Yeah. Because I'm cool like that and you agree because you love me." Austria couldn't resist the urge to roll his eyes, being able to see the grin on Prussia's face and hear the boasting in his voice. Sighing and slowly shaking his head, he kept on reading.
"I've been pretty great actually. Yeah Russia is a bastard but at least he doesn't chain me up or something other creepy, but perfectly imaginable thing for him to do, and I'm glad about that. He makes me speak Russian though, and I have to be there with the other Satellite States when he's meeting with his and our land's bosses.
It isn't so bad. But I still miss freedom and West. As in all the meanings of the word, heh. And you. Fuck it. I said it. I miss you Specks. I don't want this to turn out as some sappy and nerdy love poem, or a letter I confess all my feeling to you in an oh-so-tragically way in. No way.
That's not my style at all. But still. You know how hard it is to know that I won't be able to see you for a really long time? I'm discussing this (and you) with Hungary though and I don't know. It kind of helps- I mean she was your wife and everything so I guess she misses you too. It's kind of weird that there's nations here that I don't particularly like, but we're starting to get along. We all miss someone.
I mean look at Hungary and me- oh yeah, you can't. Because you're there on your fancy Westside. Not that I'm jealous or anything, this was my choice and all.. Is West good- Or should I say the Federal Republic of Germany or FRG? I sure hope that he is good. I hope that you are taking care of him; you know what kind a of pussy he can be when I'm not there taking care of him. I bet Italy feeds him some stuffy pasta all the time and he isn't eating any potatoes. Potatoes are men's food! Even Old Fritz said so! So you go and treat him some real German food! And some of your tasty cakes, you know West loves baking too. But don't get too girly on him; I still want him to have balls when I come home. But how is everyone else? I hope they don't hate West, it wasn't his fault.. I hope you believe that I didn't like it at all. Neither did him. But you know how it is."
Austria blinked. The letter stopped at nothing. It felt like Prussia had meant to say even more but suddenly... Something. Suddenly something had happened. Austria pondered what could that have been, only getting some horror-scenarios on his mind. He felt himself turn pale and quickly started reading another letter to get some sense in this.
After a few minutes - at least that's what it felt like for Austria, in fact it was a few hours he had spent here - he finally finished the last letter, dated one week before The Fall.
He stared at nothing while sitting on the dead cold stone floor, thinking and remembering everything Prussia had just told him from the past.
Every letter was repeating the same pattern. First Prussia would talk about what was happening on the Eastern side of the wall, what he was forced to do to his children, what he felt when they "celebrated" GDR's anniversary , the pride he felt when his team won the Winter Olympics on 1984, the anxiety when he watched The Wall rise up and block him and his brother from each other.
After that he'd always write in his way to tell how he missed the Austrian and his face, lips, hair and hands. Some of the letters got Austria so flustered that he had to take a break from reading from time to time to compose himself again.
In some letters, the first ones after the separation, Austria mused, Prussia apologized for everything he and his brother had done during the war, and every time he'd say that it wasn't his fault, he was talked into it, him and many other Germans and could you ever forgive?
Austria was filled with emotions towards the no-longer-a-nation-no-one-knew-how-he-was-still-alive-Prussian. He got up from the floor, putting the letters back into their envelopes and into the chest.
Taking the chest with him he made his way to his phone, still fancying the landline, and dialed the familiar number. Technology and he didn't exactly walk hand in hand. Prussia also had been proven that many times before…
"Yes, Germany speaking," Germany's deep and serious voice cut off the musician's trail of thought, freezing him for a moment.
"Ah, yes, I'm sorry to call at a this late hour..." Austria answered after a while and shifted from one foot to the other. He continued before Germany had the time to answer, mumbling, "could you please fetch Prussia to the phone, this is urgent," taking a deep breath while Germany disappeared from the phone to get his brother.
"Why hello Specks dearest, what gives me this late night pleasure?" Austria granted a small smile to his lover's voice, quickly switching to a scowl when he heard what the arrogant man said next. "Oh don't tell me this is the long-awaited phone-sex? You know how I love hearing your lusty voice~'
"Oh please Prussia, I have far better reasons for calling you at this hour... Someone still has our priorities in order, unlike you apparently," Austria snapped at him, hearing the grunt the white haired man always made when pouting. "Never mind that Prussia, do you want to know why I called?" he then asked, softening tone of his voice, getting the other man curious.
"Oh do tell me dearest~" Prussia basically purred into the phone. He took a deep breath, not knowing what would the man's reaction be.
"I found the chest," he kept a brief pause, "and I read the letters."
The line went quiet.
Austria stiffened a bit, all kinds of thoughts running through his mind. After a while he heard a simple "oh" on the other side, and quickly after that the line snapped shut.
Austria looked at the phone in confusion and tried calling his boyfriend's name. Receiving no answer, he sighed and placed the phone back to its place. "I didn't expect him to cut me down..."