Embers, a voltron: legendary defender fanfic

...

Um.

I had not expected my first Voltron work to be this heavy on angst. Actually, I had this one story I started MONTHS ago that featured badass Pidge saving the team, but, uh, season 4 came and I was a mess on Jen's living room floor.

This literally wrote itself. Sorry.

Hello, fandom. Also, I put in a direct quote from Pacific Rim in there. It just sounded so cool. Kudos if you can find it.

Summary: No flashbacks. No memories. Nothing. Nothing but him and Red, the Lion growling and snarling and roaring in the back of his head, the red of the interior of the Galra fighter with him now. Nothing but the black of space around him, the Black Lion giving a high-pitched whine as a response. He was putting the galaxy and his family ahead of everything else. He didn't need the flashbacks. He didn't need the memories.

The fighter was in position. He just needed to fall.

Anyone could fall.

Disclaimer: I don't own Voltron.

"Attention, Paladins of Voltron and rebel fighters. I know we've had our differences in the past, but…I think it's time for us to have a discussion."

The Paladins were physically and mentally exhausted after that extremely close shave on Naxzela They each stumbled out of their respective Lions after arriving back at the Castle, which had landed on a nearby planet. It had been Allura's idea- if Lotor wanted to meet about an alliance, there was no way she would let him into the Castle itself. Lance looked back at Red, who refused to power down even after she let him out of the cockpit. Instead, the Lion paced with what little space she had in her hangar, her tail lashing back and forth. His connection with her was growing steadily with each mission, but it didn't take much effort to sense the distress that she was practically screaming in the back of his head, making him wince. Knowing there was nothing else he could do, he put a comforting hand on her leg as she passed by before he left the room.

"Something's seriously bothering Red," he told Allura when they met in the hallway, the Blue Paladin taking off his helmet and shaking his sweaty hair out. She frowned, the hand that wasn't holding her helmet coming up to her chin in thought.

"The Red Lion has always been the most temperamental," she responded slowly. "Maybe she's uneasy with what's happening with Lotor?"

Lance snorted. "Right. If I could think that Keith could train Red to hate me, she definitely thinks this guy is bad news."

Hunk, Shiro, and Pidge all waited for them at the end of the hallway, the Yellow Paladin sitting on the floor while Shiro leaned against the wall, his arms crossed. Pidge, on the other hand, was bouncing in excitement despite her weariness.

"Matt's here!" she exclaimed excitedly just as Lance opened his mouth. Hunk stood up, and they all trailed behind her as they made their way to the bridge.

"Coran, we're back!" Allura called as the doors slid open. There were stars in Pidge's eyes when she saw her brother standing next to the Altean in the room, but stopped just short of rushing to him when she saw the way their backs were turned, their shoulders tense. The excitement slowly drained away, tension filling the room in its place.

"Matt? Coran?"

"We've fallen even farther down!"

"Fifteen minutes!"

"No, no! We can't die here! Not yet!"

It was the lack of communication that scared Keith the most. If he had heard something, anything, he would know that his friends- his family now, as they had proven time and time again- were at least alive.

Focus.

Facts: he couldn't reach Voltron.

Shiro, Allura, Pidge, Lance, and Hunk weren't responding to his transmissions.

Coran was tapped into all frequencies between Voltron, the Blade, and the rebel forces. If Coran wasn't giving him any response after hearing his transmissions to them, if he wasn't giving him any updates, then that must mean that Coran couldn't reach them either.

That was more worrying than anything else, including the enormous battleship with a huge weapon fixed to its bow, enshrouded by a strong particle barrier, that was currently pointed towards where he knew Naxzela was. The twisting, sickening feeling he had in his gut multiplied, and he was about 99% sure that Haggar was on board, and whatever she was doing didn't bode well for Voltron.

Beads of sweat ran down the side of his face, matting his bangs to his forehead as he piloted the Galra fighter purely on instinct, fighting the huge battleship alongside Matt's team.

"We'll never penetrate those shields!" the older Holt yelled into the comms.

Keith Kogane was nothing if not stubborn and rash and impulsive, a trait that had both won them victories and landed his team in trouble many times over. But to make up for it, he was perceptive, a quick thinker and fast on his feet, all characteristics that forged such a strong connection between him and Red, both the brashness of acting alone for the good of the mission and the fierce protectiveness he had for his teammates. He was terrified of leadership in the belief that he would only let them crash and burn, but in the moments that called for it, Keith could rally others to his side.

Gritting his teeth, he tightened his grip on the controls of the fighter, his mind racing miles a second. Ironically, there was only one thought that repeated itself, over and over.

Victory or death. That was the Galra way.

Victory or death.

He almost wanted to cry. Almost. He wondered if Red could sense him now, and received his answer when her roar came through their bond. That alone sealed his decision.

"Maybe not with our weapons," Keith murmured into the comms, a much calmer response than Matt had obviously been expecting. He pulled the fighter up and over the battleship, creating a wide arc, and giving himself more room.

"Maybe not with our weapons."

He needed to say something. He needed to tell Allura, needed to tell Shiro. He needed to yell at Keith, but he could only stare at the Castle's holographic display in front of him, his voice refusing to work when the horrible, horrible realization came to him, just a beat after Matt came to the same conclusion.

There were so very few moments that Pidge had seen her brother so tense, each line of his rigid form outlining his terror as he turned to face her. His eyes, practically identical to hers in color, were wet, and Coran turned and his eyes were wet and it was so tense she felt the atmosphere nearly crackle with how charged the room was except that's not even scientifically accurate the atmosphere is made up of a number of gasses that rarely if ever react this way on their own and the Castle definitely had different atmospheric settings than Earth's really Katie I mean Pidge how could you forget that the atmosphere is made of up no up of atmosphere is made up of oxygen and nitrogen and because people are idiots there are always carbon dioxide emissions and is that why why why it's so hard to breathe and holy shit there were already tears in her eyes and she couldn't breathe she couldn't breathe.

Distantly, dimly, Lance spoke up somewhere behind her. "So…" he said, clearing his throat. "Matt's here, Coran's here…where's Mullet and Kolivan?"

She could just barely pick up the strain in his voice, the attempt to keep the atmosphere in the room light, but the question was burning in everyone's minds, burning, and it burned the room, burned the atmosphere, burned everything around them like the fire Keith-

"Wait, Keith, what are you doing?"

Matt looked from the cockpit of his ship, horrified as he saw the glint of the Galra fighter turn and fly straight towards the battleship. His stomach plummeted to the ground. Despite not having known the Paladin for very long, Keith had established himself to be Katie's friend and new family, a Paladin of Voltron, a brave fighter, and he and Matt had struck up a friendship in the short time they had together. The realization he came to was staggering, multiplied exponentially by the silence responding to his calls.

"Keith, no!"
.

No flashbacks. No memories. Nothing. Nothing but him and Red, the Lion growling and snarling and roaring in the back of his head, the red of the interior of the Galra fighter with him now. Nothing but the black of space around him, the Black Lion giving a high-pitched whine as a response. He was putting the galaxy and his family ahead of everything else. He didn't need the flashbacks. He didn't need the memories.

The fighter was in position. He just needed to fall.

Anyone could fall.

"Good work, Keith!"

Shiro and the others were back online.

Coran needed to say something.

Anything.

Instead, he received a message from the rebels, Matt requesting permission to board.

Almost robotically, Coran pushed the button to release the airlock and watched as the older Holt made his way into the Castle.

"Good work, Keith!"

There was no response.

…

Maybe it was the electromagnetic signals. Maybe they were still affecting Voltron. Maybe Coran was just closer and that's why they could get in touch with him. Was it Pidge's imagination, or did Coran sound weird through the comms when he finally answered them?

She looked at her side panel at each of the pilots. Shiro was proud of his brother. They'd made it.

The answer was written all over Matt's face, even when Allura asked in an almost pained voice, "Coran?"

Pidge already knew the answer. She didn't want to hear it spoken aloud, but Matt told them, he had to tell them, even though his voice cracked and broke and Coran's mustache was beginning to get soaked from the tears silently coming down his face.

Allura swayed dangerously, and Shiro steadied her almost robotically before she could fall. The Black Paladin's eyes were blown wide shock, no sound coming from his open mouth. Somewhere next to them, Hunk was nervously laughing, babbling, denying it, trying to reason, trying to find a way around it, and Lance, Lance was silent, without a single idea of what to say.

Suddenly, Matt was in front of her, enveloping her smaller frame and she felt his tears dripping into her hair as he murmured Katie over and over, realizing too late that she could no longer see through her tears, no longer breathe.

A loud beep of a hailing transmission was what brought the Paladins together again, with Lotor's smooth voice laced with amusement clashing with the thick grief on the bridge.

"Greetings, Paladins of Voltron," he said. "I do send my condolences. It is rather unfortunate that the Red Paladin had met his end. However, his sacrifice will unite us in the defeat of the Galra Empire. I am prepared to discuss terms of a truce, and will await you all below."

The snarl that escaped Pidge was so unexpected, so unlike her that Matt released her in shock, the Green Paladin immediately reaching for her bayard and activating it as soon as her brother let go. Shiro, immediately realizing what was happening, released Allura to Hunk, caught up with Pidge before she could run out of the room and literally held her back. She thrashed angrily in his grip.

"Let me go!" Pidge yelled, "We all know what that bastard's ship is made out of! If he had been there sooner and taken down that ship, Keith wouldn't have had to-"

"Pidge, that's enough!" Shiro exclaimed, tightening his grip. To his immense surprise, it was Lance who drew his bayard, his normally warm brown eyes completely void of emotion.

"She's right," he said, his bayard turning into his weapon with a flash of light. "Keith shouldn't have had to-"

"But he did!" Shiro yelled, his mask of composure cracking and slipping away. "He did and Keith is gone and now we have to face the consequences!"

Pidge's bayard clattered to the ground as she stilled, a sudden coldness overtaking her entire body, making her go slack. Lance's bayard turned back into its normal form as his hands dropped to his sides, all the fight completely draining out of his body. Shiro would never…Hunk stepped forward, his face wet with tears, and gently took her from their leader, who turned to address the two youngest paladins. He took a deep breath.

"Pidge, Lance, I understand if you…don't want to attend this meeting with Lotor. But…" Shiro looked over at Allura, who managed a weak nod. "We'll fill you in after. Hunk?"

Hunk passed the younger Holt over to Matt, who carefully picked up his too-still sister. "I'll go," he said, his voice thick. "I can be the pacifist or something. Whip up some food so we can all talk over a meal."

The barest hint of a smile showed on Shiro's lips.

"Some of the rebel leaders are down there waiting already," Matt told them quietly. Shiro nodded once, and then he, Allura, Coran, and Hunk left the room, their footsteps echoing behind them.

Pidge didn't remember much of what happened later. Matt pushed her to the showers, and after she was finished, she was bundled up in the lounge, left to her thoughts with a pile of blankets, a rather large bowl of food goo with extra bowls and spoons, and a cup of what tasted like hot cocoa. At some point, Lance walked in in his pajamas and curled underneath the blankets next to her, and they stayed that way until Matt and Hunk came back in their pajamas, Hunk bearing another tray full of mugs of hot cocoa, and that was how Coran and Allura found them later, mugs mostly empty with the bowl of goo untouched on the floor.

Shiro rubbed his human hand over his face, exhausted. There had been no time for them to grieve, no time for them to stop and break down, but now it was night, and it was the silence that echoed all around them. Coran laid down on the other long couch, his hands on his stomach as he stared up at the ceiling. Allura pulled a blanket from the pile and curled up in it on the couch right behind Lance's head, and Shiro grabbed another one, sitting behind Matt.

There was a fire that had burned out amongst them, the flames at their brightest before flickering out.

It was silent.

It was still.

It was cold.

1. Why did I do that. Why why why. I have made myself sad.

2. Keith is my baby. Season 4 pretty much left me traumatized (and eagerly awaiting the next season, but traumatized).

3. "Shiro" is totally Kuron (subtle hints sprinkled throughout if you didn't catch them!)

...Ehehehe. Hello, Voltron fandom :)