The seventeen-year-olds were lounging about the room, doing whatever you'd expect them to do (Sakura and Ino were flirting with Sasuke, Naruto was attempting to flirt with Sakura, Shikamaru was sleeping, Chouji was eating, etc.)
They expected their 'sensei' to be late, and so did not care about him catching them indulging habit of blatantly flaunting the rules. So, when Kakashi came through the door at exactly nine-o-clock, needless to say, they were surprised.
"KAKASHI – SENSEI IS ON TIME!!!!!!! IT'S A SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE!!!" That was, you guessed it, Naruto-no-baka.
"Naruto, calm down." Kakashi sighed, why did he always get the weird ones?
"Sensei, why are you so early?" Sakura batted her eyes at him, unable to break the habit.
"We have a new patient coming in today. Her name is Hyuuga Hinata." Kakashi went back to reading his book, having only wanted to see how big the new girl's chest was. But she wasn't even here yet, so he got up early for no reason.
"Hyuuga? Is she related to Neji?" Tenten glanced at the secret object of her affections.
"Hinata-sama is my cousin." Neji said, glaring at the glass of the window more than usual.
As if on cue, the door opened and in entered a tall man with long brown hair, wearing a traditional white kimono. Behind him was a girl roughly their age, with shoulder length indigo hair in a braid, except for two bangs framing her face. She was in a school uniform that was black and white. She was holding a huge old-fashioned brown leather suitcase, which looked like it was packed to the point of explosion. The position she was in, with her head down, her eyes fixed on the ground, the way she was holding the suitcase, it could have been called cute. But this girl's skin was so pale she looked like a ghost, her hair was limp and dull, and her eyes … her eyes looked dead. There was no hope. These were the eyes of someone whose world had been ripped away, and who wanted nothing more than to die by any means possible.
"Hyuuga Hinata?" Kakashi was shocked by this girl. He hadn't realized how far gone her depression was, not until he saw her eyes. 'Can I really help her?'
"Hinata!" The man hit her on the head. She cringed and stepped forward. She found a seat in the front of the class and sat there, hands clutching the suitcase (which was on her lap), head down, eyes on the handle. The man bowed to Kakashi and left the room.
"…Alright then, let's go around the room and introduce ourselves. Say your name, favorite thing and least favorite thing."
"I'm Haruno Sakura, my favorite thing is Sasuke and…." Hinata didn't listen to the rest. She had never cared for introductions, and it especially didn't matter here. She clutched her suitcase, glad that no one had searched it extensively. They might have noticed the knife hidden in one of the books, which was really hollow. They might have taken her only refuge away from her. She hadn't been sure about bringing the knife, but then she realized she really didn't care. She had been deprived of the two things that kept her going, and it had plunged her so deep into this state that she began to truly believe that she was what her family had always called her. So much so that she labeled herself, leaving scars that would never really fade. She was ashamed of her weakness, and therefore constantly covered it up, but that couldn't last. Eventually her family found out, and they were fed up with her weakness, so they sent her here because they could not deal with her anymore. She was punished for liking the things she liked, and she eventually decided that life was not worth living. That the world would only hurt her, so why live at all? She had always been a coward, so the fitting solution was to take the coward's way out. But she hadn't even had the courage to hurt herself, just to plunge herself into a world of fiction and comfort, and learn the insane pleasure one can get from feeling all that one hates slowly leaking out, releasing her from her earthbound prison.
Hinata jolted back to reality when she heard her name called and realized everyone was staring at her intently. She lowered her eyes, and kept her mouth closed.
"Hinata? It's your turn." Kakashi couldn't help glancing at the poor girl. He had never seen a girl who looked so … repulsive. Her hair was dull and almost blue, which made her skin look bluish-white like milk gone sour. Her eyes were like hollow pits, and her worst feature. And yet he could see the makings of beauty in her. Somehow, something had stopped that beauty from surfacing.
Hinata knew why they were staring. She knew that they were thinking about how ugly she was. And she didn't care one whit. They could stare all they wanted, and she would never care. She had learned that if you only wish to die, what people think of you before you die becomes the last thing on your mind.
"Hinata? Hinata?" Kakashi had no idea why this girl would not respond. She was just staring at her suitcase, clutching it like it was the only thing anchoring her to life. "Since we already know your name, you can just tell us your favorite thing, if you want." He normally didn't offer patients that choice, but there was something about this girl that made him blurt it out.
Something came alive in Hinata's eyes. Her mouth opened slightly, and everything suddenly seemed to change. Suddenly, her hair seemed more black and less blue, her skin more of a healthy, pretty pale, and her eyes …… her eyes shone a pale lavender, not the cold, hard silver that they had seemed to be previously. Suddenly, the makings of beauty in her seemed to emerge, and it was that deadened, ugly look that lurked just underneath, as though at the slightest change, it would emerge again.
Hinata gingerly undid the catch on her suitcase and opened it, drawing out one of the few things that kept her going. She had memorized its exact location in the suitcase, so even among all the other books it was easy to find. She held it up, lovingly stroking the cover, before Kakashi began to gently tug it out of her hands. Her head snapped up, eyes wide, as though terrified that he wasn't going to give it back. He smiled encouragingly at her (at least, she thought he did, his face was hidden by the mask). She gulped, and let him take it.
"I Just Hope It's Lethal: Poems of Sadness, Madness, & Joy, collected by Liz Rosenberg & Deena November." He looked at the cover, intrigued. The words were white, and some were green for emphasis. The cover itself was black, except for the picture of a dropped strawberry ice cream cone. He opened it to a random page and began to read.
"I hate my staring. I hate my moaning. Sometimes
I lie there in the morning arguing
against myself. I hold a mirror up
above the telephone so I can snip" Kakashi stopped abruptly when he heard a second voice join his, but the other continued on.
"a long hair from my eye. I balance a cup
of coffee on my stomach. Sometimes I sing,
sometimes I hold a feather against my nose,
sometimes I prop the clock against my ear,
sometimes I drag the speakers across the floor
and turn the volume up. There is a hole
above my head, the plaster is dropping, the lath
is exposed; there is a blanket over the window;
I hold it up with nails, it tears in the center
and lets a stream of light in; I can tell
when it's six o'clock, and seven o'clock, it is
my hour, the blanket is full of holes, the light
comes through the threads, it is a greyish light,
perfect for either love or bitterness,
no exaggeration or deceit." Hinata's eyes were closed as she finished reciting the poem she had memorized a long time ago. That one was one of her favorites. She was no longer aware of all the eyes staring at her, evaluating her. She had plunged herself back into that world of poetry and stories, where good always won, where magic was real, where the princess got her prince, where every story had a happily ever after.
While Hinata was daydreaming, everyone else was contemplating the poem she had just recited. Kakashi was amazed that she had memorized it. Neji was surprised that she had gotten that book past the Hyuuga long enough to memorize it, for the Hyuuga were infamous for their hate of poetry and fiction. Naruto was marveling at her sudden change from the embodiment of ugly to a beautiful, delicate creature. Sasuke was remembering the last time he had heard that poem, and how similar her voice sounded to the one who had recited it for him. Gaara was speculating on how true the poem was. Everyone was thinking their own thoughts, and all hated to be dragged out of them, but they were.
"I don't get it!" Sakura whined. She had always hated poetry, it was far too abstract for her. Now, realistic fiction, romance novels, all that she loved, but even poetry was far too weird for her.
Hinata was snapped back to reality, and started reaching for her book. Kakashi, still in his dazed state, barely noticed her slipping it out of his hand.
A bell rang, and everyone began to leave. Hinata started to slip the book back into her suitcase when someone grabbed her hand. She looked up to meet the eyes of her cousin, and immediately lowered them again.
"You know how the Hyuuga feels about poetry. I shall have to report this to Hiashi-sama." Hinata clutched her book to her chest, and her eyes were as wide a saucers, as though losing that book would kill her.
"Hey, Neji! Leave her alone!" Naruto shouted at Neji, angry at him for some reason. Even Naruto wasn't sure why, but he really hated that look of fear in Hinata's eyes. Neji scowled and walked away, glaring at Hinata the whole time, but obviously he did not want to deal with Naruto right now.
"Hey, Hinata-chan. That poem you read was really good." Hinata blinked at the chan. What was this guy's name again?
Naruto was getting nervous, what with her just staring at him, when he felt a hand smack the back of his head.
"Baka, you don't even know what it's about." A cold voice coming from a boy with even colder eyes. He had a godlike sort of beauty, which reminded Hinata of someone, but she wasn't sure just who. Some would have swooned over him, but Hinata had seen many like him, and knew his type better than she knew members of her own family. He seemed rude, and exuded arrogance. The other boy was his exact opposite, with a kind of childish cuteness, and he just radiated warmth. He didn't seem to have much respect for formalities, and was obviously the kind who wore his mind on his sleeve.
"I did too, Sasuke-teme!" The sun boy was yelling at the darkling boy. Their antics were not enough to distract Hinata from packing up her things and opening her book, determined to read it many more times before her family took it away from her. She was about to leave the room when the doorway was blocked by a woman. She had wavy brown hair and red eyes.
"Hinata-san, I see you have met your counseling group. It is time for me to take you to your room, where you can unpack." She began to lead Hinata out of the room, but the sun boy stopped her.
"What's wrong with Hinata-chan anyway? She wouldn't talk to anyone, until she began to recite a poem, and she hasn't spoken since." Hinata regarded the sun boy again, and her respect for him raised a notch. He was obviously very observant when he wanted to be.
"Hinata …… suffers from chronic depression. Her family was …… fed up with her, and, well, her answers to their questions." The red-eyed woman was obviously very uncomfortable, and probably did not like discussing her patients with other patients.
"What do you mean 'her answers to their questions'?" The darkling boy was speaking now, and his face showed an obviously rare flash of confusion, which was quickly replaced by that mask of stoicism.
"Well, Hinata, she, well, she doesn't speak using her own words. What I mean is, she will only quote things. Poems, stories, all sorts of things. Some are very obscure, some well known, but the one thing she won't say is something that comes from her own mind." All this came from the red-eyed woman's mouth in a rush, as though she just wanted to get it out. Sun boy's and darkling boy's eyes widened, but Hinata couldn't care less. They could feel sorry for her, they could hate her, she didn't care. At least she wouldn't be here very long.
A smile crossed her face at that thought. This place would drive her even further into insanity. She might finally get fed up enough. She might finally gather the courage.
She might finally kill herself.
Was that way too depressing?
It'll get better eventually.
Soon, even.
Hinata'll get friends.
Yeeeey! Clap for friends!
Sorry, I'm really hyper right now.
Oh, and the poem is called I hate my moaning by Gerald Stern. Oh, and that book does really exist, and it's really good.
Oh, and I don't own Naruto, DUH! God, you people are so stupid. (not really)
I'm sorry about not updating my other fics, but this idea was too good to waste. Anyway, when you review tell me who you want Hinata to end up with. The choices are;
Naruto (a.k.a. Sun boy)
Sasuke (a.k.a. Darkling boy)
Itachi (He'll come in later)
Gaara (they'll interact later too)
Neji (he comes around eventually)
If you don't like any of these pairings, I'm sorry. But when I first thought of this story, they seemed to fit the requirements for my story perfectly. Well, I gotta go.
P.S. Reviews make me happy, which makes me update faster.